"I'd really like to see it today," Jayne said. "I might not get another chance once the guests start arriving. I'd also like to have a little more time alone with you before going back."
This time Sam couldn't contain the wide grin, or the thought that maybe his fantasy actually could become a reality.
Not far from the ranch, they tethered their horses, and after a short hike up a foot path, they stepped through a wide mouth in the mountain and into the twilight of a cavern. Jayne gazed at the natural pool, and said, "There's steam coming off the water. How hot is it?"
"About like a bath," Sam replied. "You want me to turn around while you get ready."
"You don't need to," Jayne said. "I assume you have a swimsuit under your jeans."
Sam nodded. "We can skinny dip if you want. I'd promise not to look."
"Said the big bad wolf."
Sam laughed and stripped off his shirt and jeans, wishing he'd worn loose-fitting trunks instead of a form-fit suit that was packed to capacity. Which Jayne didn't miss, he realized, when he saw her eyes drop, pause a moment then snap back up. "I promise to stay on my side of the pool," he said, then moved to the opposite side and lowered himself into the water.
Jayne eyed him with uncertainty then stripped down to a white tee shirt and black shorts that stopped mid-thigh. Nicely formed legs with slender ankles. Legs as perfect as the rest of her. The thought of that tee shirt wet and clinging heightened the reaction below his waist, but the idea of having sex was bittersweet. Because it had been so long, he might go at it the way Susan once demanded. He also knew he'd better reel those thoughts in. Another reality check.
Jayne lowered herself into the pool, and as the water closed in around her, she gave a long contented sigh and said, "So tell me about the voices in the mountain."
Sam had trouble focusing on what she was asking. It had been years since his thoughts had been so single-minded, but having sex with Jayne was only part of it. He'd never felt so sure about wanting a woman in his life on a permanent basis as he did with her, yet, the idea of marrying her was irrational and illogical, a typical fool's paradise.
"The voices, Sam," Jayne reminded him.
"Voices. Right. So, as the Indian legend goes," Sam started in, determined to stay on track, "if you close your eyes the voices will come to you and you'll be freed of evil spirits. The odd thing is, it seems to clear away the mind clutter."
Jayne rested her head against the high sloped sidewall of the pool, and while she sat with her eyes closed, Sam studied her face, the first time he'd had a chance to do it without her catching him watching. What caught his attention was her full, beautifully sculpted mouth. Maybe it was the culmination of a mongrel gene pool, but he sure wanted to kiss that mouth.
"I hear them now," Jayne said, her voice soft, thoughtful. "Like wailing."
He too heard the sounds. They seemed to come at regular intervals if you stayed there long enough, but for now his mind wasn't on the eerie sounds, but on the woman across the pool from him. She was quiet, but he saw a frown pinch her brow, and her lashes flicker, like she was watching something behind her eyelids. Then her face relaxed and the frown vanished, and even her hands, which had been gently treading water, stopped.
After a while, she let out a little sigh, and said, "I feel so relaxed, and peaceful... umm..." She sat as if contemplating something, then she slowly opened her eyes and said, in a reflective voice, "I was just thinking about weddings again. I actually got the idea when your mother told me that Jack and Grace were married at the ranch. It must have been a beautiful wedding."
"Apparently my mother didn't tell you everything," Sam said.
"If you mean about them getting married six weeks after they met, she mentioned it, but Jack and Grace seem far too practical for a whirlwind romance."
"They are," Sam said. "Grace got pregnant through artificial insemination, but there was a mix-up at the fertility clinic. Grace was supposed to be inseminated with her dead husband's sperm, which had been in storage there, and Jack donated sperm to Susan so Ricky could have a sibling for a cord blood transplant, since I'm sterile and Jack's DNA matches mine, but the vials of sperm were accidentally switched, so Grace ended up pregnant by Jack. They were married here at the ranch, just before we all flew to New Jersey for the births and Ricky's cord-blood transplant. Grace almost had Adam on the plane. Marc was born the next day."
"That can happen with twins?" Jayne asked, "be born a whole day apart?"
Sam was caught up short. They never talked about the issue with the boys. In fact, no one but those at the ranch knew the truth. "It wasn't really a whole day," he said. "The boys were born around midnight."
Jayne looked at him, dubiously, like she was trying to sort it out and not quite believing him, which she all but affirmed when she said, "They don't look anything alike. Now that I think about it, the little one doesn't look like either of his parents." She looked at him thoughtfully. "You look worried. Are the twins okay? They don't have what Ricky had, do they?"
Sam looked into eyes so sincere, he found himself saying, "Marc and Adam are cousins. Jack and Grace are raising them as fraternal twins because they don't want Marc to know he was conceived only to save Ricky, and after he was born, Susan didn't want him. We were all afraid Susan might hurt him or worse, like Jack's first wife did, smothering Jack's son, but Grace wanted Marc from the start since he was her dead husband's son, so I signed off my rights."
"And now you regret it," Jayne said.
Sam shrugged. "Yeah, I regret it, but Susan never wanted kids. For her, Ricky was a mistake, and Susan was furious with me when she found out she was pregnant."
"As in, she wasn't aware she was having sex with you and bingo, a baby was conceived?"
"As in, I didn't wear a condom that time. But I also knew what I was doing. I wanted a child and figured Susan would get used to the idea once she was pregnant. She adjusted to Ricky, but things started falling apart after Marc was born. Like I said, it's been a long dry spell."
"I guess it's hard for men," Jayne said.
Sam gave her a wry smile. "Yeah, it is a good part of the time."
"That's not what I meant."
"I know what you meant," Sam said, "and yes, it's damn hard. I liked being married. At least I did when things were good. It was hell later, knowing that every time I initiated sex, Susan hated it." He looked at Jayne then, and said, "And you? How long has it been for you?"
"Is that part of the job requirement, to let the boss know if I sleep around?"
"Man, I'm sorry," Sam said. "I was telling you things about Susan and me that I shouldn't have and it just slipped out."
"Well, just for the record, I don't sleep around, and although I find you attractive, you have needs that aren't being met because you're divorced and not in a relationship, and I don't want to be the one to meet those needs. This late in my life, I don't believe in sex outside of marriage, which means a ring on my finger. Does that answer your question?"
"Yeah," Sam said, unsure whether to be happy because Jayne found him attractive, pissed with himself for asking a question that was none of his business, or frustrated because he was sitting in a pool with a woman who had him thinking marriage, but who had a set of morals that required a ring on her finger before anything else, and at the moment, the anything else was foremost on his mind. But he wondered why she held that position. Religion? A fundamentalist upbringing? Parents who damned her if she stepped outside the fold. It came to him that he knew almost nothing about her. But he was about to change that, if only to keep his mind off what was foremost on his mind. "So, Miss Hamilton," he started in, "I assume you didn't hatch out of an egg. You must have parents somewhere."
"Well, yes."
"Working? Retired? Where do your parents live and what do they do? And siblings? Do you have sisters or brothers or both? I want to know everything about Rebecca Jayne-with-a-Y Hamilton." He smiled and waited.
Jayne had such a weighty expression on h
er face that when she didn't reply, Sam moved around the rock ledge beside her, and said, "Honey, is something wrong?"
She blinked several times, like she was trying to clear her thoughts, then she looked into his eyes, and said, "I was thinking I would really like to finish the kiss that wasn't really a kiss." She slid her hands around his neck and gave him a long, passionate, open-mouth kiss, and Sam couldn't help thinking that she was bending the rules for a reason...
But then her tongue began tangling with his, and he could feel her warm wet breasts against his chest, and his mind fogged, and the response below his waist took precedence, and everything else was irrelevant...
CHAPTER 4
Jayne kept the kiss going a little longer, knowing she'd do whatever it took to keep Sam from asking questions about things she couldn't answer, but when Sam's hands moved up her sides, and his thumbs traced the outer curves of her breasts, she propped her palms on his chest and said, "The kiss was to let you know that you make my heart flutter, and unlike Susan, I'd like having your hands on me, as long as they're confined to places that won't lead to other things."
Sam took her hands from his chest, raised them to his lips and kissed each palm, and said, "Will I be allowed to give you a hug and a kiss when we get out of the pool?"
Jayne knew what Sam was suggesting was the worst idea yet, but having his arms around her, and being held by a man for the first time in even more years that Sam could imagine, was too tempting, and she found herself saying, "I'd like that."
Sam climbed out of the pool, and taking the hand he offered, Jayne climbed out after him. Then Sam pulled Jayne into his arms, and their lips met in a passionate, kiss. Jayne had no idea where this was leading, or how much she'd let Sam do. All she knew was she wanted to feel his hands on her bare skin instead of through a wet tee shirt. But she wanted Sam's hands on other places too, and she didn't stop him when he glided his hands down the length of her back and pressed her to him. But when she felt a hard ridge against her belly, she looked up at him, and said, "I want what you want, but I don't want us to act on it."
"We won't," Sam said. "But if we don't stop now, I won't be responsible for my actions."
Jayne pulled his arms from around her and held his hands at arm’s length and said, as her gaze moved down him, "I'm sorry if I leave you frustrated, but you should know you look really good in a swimsuit. I figured you would."
Sam eyed her with amusement. "When did you figure that?"
"At the interview," Jayne said. "You looked good in that cowboy shirt too, but the tight jeans kept distracting me."
Sam let out a sharp laugh. "I didn't know I was being evaluated that way, but then I was doing a little sizing up myself."
"What did you conclude?" Jayne asked.
"That your safari outfit was covering a whole lot of woman, and it all looked good to me. But the boss isn't supposed to have those kinds of thoughts when interviewing a potential employee, or the thoughts I'm having now." Sam looked at her tee shirt. "I like the way that thing sticks to you. You have a nice shape."
"So do you." Jayne's gaze moved down Sam's body. "Susan's boyfriend doesn't begin to compare with you. He's all chunky muscle, but your muscles are sleek and smooth—" she ran her hands up his chest "—and your shoulders are nice and broad and someday Susan will realize what she walked away from." She put her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, and this time, when Sam's hands came up to follow the contours of her body she didn't stop him. Instead, she ran her hands over Sam's shoulders and down his back, and said, in a ragged breath, "I want to forget the ring-on-the-finger rule."
Sam stopped what he was doing and looked at her with a start. "Do you really know what we're about to do?"
"Yes," Jayne said. "We’re going to make love here in this cavern and leave our spirits behind so whenever people sit in the pool they'll hear the sounds of a man and a woman crying out in passion, then sighing in satisfaction."
After stripping off his suit and Jayne's clothes, Sam pulled her to him and kissed her, a deep, kiss that had her wanting it all. With mounting impatience, she moved against him, wanting to be closer, wanting what was pressing against her belly.
Breaking the kiss, Sam said, "Put your arms around my neck, honey. I'm going to lift you up." And when he did, their bodies joined, and their lips met in a desperate kiss, and together they matched a timeless rhythm, the tempo increasing until the deep, throaty sounds of Sam climaxing echoed through the cavern, and Jayne cried out the release of years of abstinence, and the culmination of something she'd known only briefly years ago, but which left her empty, and confused, and ultimately devastated.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked when Jayne's cries of passion became deep sobs of release, though Jayne hadn't been aware she was crying.
"I'm sorry. I'm just overwhelmed. It's been a long time," Jayne said.
Sam looked at her intently. "How long?"
"Almost eleven years," Jayne replied, "but this time it feels right."
Sam tightened his arms around her, and as he held the length of her naked body against the length of his, he said, "After so long, we should have taken more time. I should have made it special for you, maybe waited and made love at the cabin. It was awkward the way we did it."
"Awkward, but good," Jayne said, "and it was special, something I'll always remember."
Sam eyed her soberly. "That sounds kind of final."
"Maybe it is," Jayne said. "You have a lot happening in your life right now with Ricky and the winery addition, and I have to focus on making this the best guest ranch in the country, and that's where we need to be."
"I don't want us to just walk away from what happened here," Sam said in a sober voice. "This isn't something I do with women, and you and I didn't just have sex because we were horny. We made love, and it happened because... I can't explain why, but from my standpoint, I want us to build a relationship..."
"Hey Sam!" Jack's voice came from just outside the cavern. "You two in there?"
"Hell!" Sam said under his breath. "Don't come in!" he called to Jack.
"Why? What's going on?"
When Jack's shadow fell across the entrance, Sam snatched his swimsuit from the rock floor and bunched it against his crotch and rushed toward Jack, and said, "Go back to the ranch!"
To Jayne's mortification, Jack looked beyond Sam, and she was too stunned to move, so she stood staring back at him.
Jack's face darkened, then saying nothing, he turned and left.
Tears of embarrassment filled Jayne's eyes. "I can't stay working here," she said. She grabbed her clothes and started dressing.
"You can't mean it," Sam replied. "I'll square things away with Jack."
"Do you have any idea what he must be thinking right now?" Jayne said, struggling to fasten the clasp on her bra with shaking hands. "I've been here a little over a week and already I'm having sex with the boss."
"Stop it honey!" Sam took her by the arms. "We didn't have sex. We made love."
"How can you call it love?" Jayne said, blinking back tears of humiliation. "We don't know each other well enough to be talking about love. We have a strong physical attraction for each other, and you're looking for love again, and I haven't been with a man in years, and in our minds we just made love, but the reality is we had sex, and Jack caught us, and I can't stay here. How can I ever look at him without feeling like he thinks I'm a woman who sleeps around?"
"I'll set Jack straight," Sam said. "Besides, he's no saint. He had sex with his first wife the day they met. Lauren was rodeo queen, and Jack came in first in bull riding, and they went to a party and had a few drinks, and Jack ended up staying at her place all night. Passions running high from the excitement of the wins, Jack explained to me later. So, like I said, Jack's no saint."
Jayne said nothing, but she already knew about Jack and Lauren Hansen and their first date, and how good Jack was in bed. During the time she knew Lauren, the woman had been obsessed with her ex-husband and was dete
rmined to get him back, even after smothering their baby. It had been a relief to learn that Jack married someone else, which was the only reason she chanced interviewing for the job. She only hoped Lauren Hansen would never show up at the ranch because if she did, it would all be over. That is, if she stayed there at all.
"Maybe Jack's no saint," she said, "but people hold different standards for men and women. A man having sex on a first date is a man being a man, but when a woman does it, she's loose." She shoved her arms into her safari shirt and started buttoning it.
When her fingers were shaking too much to slip the buttons into the button holes, Sam nudged her hands aside and started buttoning it for her. "Jack knows I don't do one-night-stands, and he also knows I wouldn't go with any woman who did."
Jayne looked at Sam's face, eyes intent as he fastened each button, and said, "Does Jack know you haven't had sex since Susan left?"
"He does, but it doesn't make any difference," Sam said.
"Yes, it does," Jayne replied. "He'll figure you're desperate for a woman, and the new guest ranch manger was accommodating because she likes to get it on with men."
Sam put his hands on her shoulders, looked steadily at her, and said, "Then I'll make sure he understands exactly what happened."
Holding his gaze, Jayne said, with irony, "Do you understand what happened? Can you explain why we were suddenly so overcome with passion we stripped off our clothes, like actors in a B movie, and took each other on the spot, no matter how awkward it was?"
"You're making it sound like we did something wrong," Sam said. "I was overcome with passion because you're the first woman I've had any true feelings for since I met Susan, and it's not just a desire for sex I have. You mean something to me."
"That may be," Jayne conceded, "but no matter how attracted I am to you, or you are to me, we should have had some control, but we didn't. When I saw you standing in front of me, I wanted you and I didn't care what the consequences were. How will you explain that to Jack?"
Living With Lies Trilogy (Books 1, 2, and 3 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series) Page 46
