I climbed onto its back as it neighed and clicked its front hooves against the brown cobblestone. I gave it a gentle nudge with my heels, and it rushed onto the alley leading up to the Lords’ mansions.
My heart was starting to do its own sprint inside my chest. I felt slightly nervous at the thought of seeing Caspian again. I had so many questions for him; I needed to put them in a reasonable order so I wouldn’t overwhelm him.
Hopefully, he’ll answer this time. He promised he would if we survived the gorge, and, well, here I am. Still standing…
Hansa
As soon as the door closed after Harper, I stilled. The anger I’d experienced earlier, in the gorge, after Jax revealed himself as still very much alive, came back in waves of hot red. My blood simmered, and my heart twisted itself into a painful knot.
Jax moved slowly toward me, his jade eyes wide and hazy.
The tension between us was so thick that I could cut it with my broadsword. Except that, with the rage coursing through me, it wasn’t the tension I was willing to slash into. I’d spent a good quarter of an hour thinking Jax was dead, while fighting daemons and struggling to free the Imen prisoners. Those had been the longest fifteen minutes of my life. I was raw on the inside.
“Hansa, I’m sorry I gave you a scare in the gorge, but—”
I slapped him so hard my palm hurt. He grunted as his head shot to the side, and he nearly lost his footing. I’d lost a whole tribe and my own daughters just three months earlier. I’d fallen for Jax, and he was giving me this hot-and-cold routine that was already driving me up the wall, only to leave me in temporary hell, thinking I’d lost him too. There was so much pain, so much grief already piling up inside me. There was no room for anger in my heart. I had to let it out so I could breathe again.
My fingers, my whole arms trembled. I breathed heavily and glared at him.
He straightened his back and groaned as he touched the left side of his jaw. His skin was already turning red there. He pushed his tongue into his cheek, then made a grimace and clicked his teeth. He gave me a sad smile, then took another step forward.
I was so mad at him. But I was also glad he was still standing. I felt tears coming to my eyes, but there was no way in hell I was going to let Jaxxon Dorchadas see me cry. I inhaled deeply and tried to get my anger under control.
“Hit me again, Hansa,” he said, and I sensed the tremor in his low voice.
I frowned, trying to deal with the bundle of emotions cluttering my throat and making it difficult for me to breathe in his presence.
“Hit me as many times as you want,” he added, calm, his arms stretched out from his sides. “I deserve it, I know…”
“I thought you were dead,” I hissed, still livid and trembling from every single joint.
“I know.” He nodded slowly, his gaze fixed on my face. “It all happened so fast. I had to do something drastic, and I didn’t have time to tell you. It would’ve been counterproductive, anyway… I am sorry, Hansa. It seems like no matter what I do, I still end up hurting you.”
Tears burned my eyes, and I felt my whole being caving in, chunks of me collapsing with painful echoes. I swallowed it all back as my heart took over. My brain blacked out. I closed the distance between us, and I pressed my lips against his.
His breath hitched, while I held mine. I’d thought he was dead. I’d thought I’d lost him, and we hadn’t even kissed. We hadn’t even touched one another in an intimate manner. I’d yet to feel his lips on my skin, his soul entwined with mine. This was the least I could do to soothe my own pain, my own fears of losing him.
I needed to feel him.
Just to get an idea of what his lips might feel like.
Bliss…
Before I knew it, Jax’s arms tightened around my waist, pulling me closer as he deepened the kiss. A thousand suns exploded. I closed my eyes and lost myself. His heart thundered against me, and I couldn’t help but moan as his mouth consumed mine.
The intensity was more than I could handle, but I didn’t want it to stop, either.
This had been three months in the making, and we could both feel it. There was fire coursing through my veins. My flesh tingled as one of his hands moved up, tracing my spine, until he gripped the back of my neck and groaned, his tongue working mine in endless circles.
He exhaled sharply and pulled himself away, blinking rapidly as he struggled to catch his breath. The jade pools of his eyes were dark and soft, his lips tender and plump. He took a couple of steps back, running a hand through his hair, and cursed under his breath.
“This really isn’t a good idea, Hansa,” he managed, his voice low and raspy.
I took several deep breaths, still relishing his scent. It filled my lungs and made my senses expand like newborn stars. It took me a while to regain full consciousness.
“What… What exactly isn’t a good idea?” I croaked.
“This… Between us,” he replied, guilt pulling his brows closer together. “I’ve already proven that I’m highly capable of hurting you without even intending to do so. I don’t deserve you, Hansa, and you don’t need more pain in your life. You really don’t.”
I paused, wondering whether I should slap him again or focus on the tears that were quietly making their way back up. I bit my lower lip, to the point where it hurt and I nearly drew blood, trying to find the right words to tell him everything I was feeling. We’d never really put names to our feelings. We’d been tiptoeing around each other since the war with Azazel had ended.
I’ve had enough.
I was done putting up with his excuses. I was done with his cowardice. We both felt it. It was there, hanging between us like a big, red bubble that we needed to pop. I had feelings for him, and he had feelings for me. It was there in the way he looked at me. I could feel it on his lips, in his arms wrapped around me.
I was done pretending that it wasn’t real.
“Screw this,” I muttered, then threw my arms around his neck and kissed him again. This time I leaned into him and unleashed my succubus nature. I felt his chest pressing against mine. He growled as he parted his lips and let himself go, no longer able to control himself. I’d often struggled to keep my nature under control around him, but this time I just couldn’t.
I needed him to feel me—all of me.
He tasted like spiced rosewater and honey, sending me over the edge as he gently bit my lower lip, then took over my mouth once more. He breathed through his nose, his eyes shut. His hands roamed freely up and down my back. His fingers then gripped my hips, digging into my flesh and pulling me closer, our tongues clashing as we devoured each other.
Jax wasn’t just responding to my kiss. He was reacting to my succubus nature, and I could feel him shuddering in my arms. He wanted more, and he couldn’t stop himself. I had that effect on him, and I was seconds away from pushing him into a physical frenzy.
But I stopped. I shut myself down, then pushed myself away.
My lower lip throbbed. My throat and my chest burned. My core was blazing, sending heatwaves through my limbs. But I had to put an end to it. I just needed him riled up to the point where he could acknowledge how powerful this thing between us was. My succubus nature didn’t work like it did for the rest of my species—though I’d never told anyone about it. I could only amplify what was already there.
My sisters could get anyone to fall head over heels for them, to lose control in their presence. I could only influence those who already found themselves attracted to me. Given my looks, however, it was hard to find someone who didn’t find me beautiful, who didn’t desire me. But I knew, deep down, that the reactions that Jax displayed under my influence were all his, simply boosted to a much higher intensity.
He let out a tortured sigh, his shoulders dropping as he leaned against the table behind him. He was highly aroused and befuddled, his eyes twinkling as he stared at me in disbelief. I had never let myself loose on him like this before, and not for so long. Our little episode at the bal
l could barely qualify as a “taster”, a mere sample. He’d never experienced my full succubus effect.
“Let that sink in for a while,” I said, gritting my teeth and trying hard not to unravel before him, “before you tell me this is a bad idea. Come talk to me when you’re ready to act like the leader you are, not the coward you’ve been acting like.”
I opened the door, welcoming the evening breeze as it caressed my face and soothed my spiking temperature. It pained me to see Jax like this, but I couldn’t let him break my heart. This was going to end up one of two ways. Either we’d just had our first and last kiss, and things between us would forever be broken and sour, or we’d merely started a good conversation about what we wanted from each other, despite everything we’d yet to say out loud. One thing was obvious: this Mara needed some tough love to get the sense knocked back into his thick head.
“Someone needs to stay here and watch over Minah and the daemon until Patrik gets back,” I said coolly. “So don’t go anywhere.”
I stepped outside, and the six Correction Officers stationed on the terrace gave me a brief nod as soon as they saw me.
“So, what? I’m grounded?” Jax replied from inside.
My eyes found his, and I had to work extra hard to keep my pulse from racing at the sight of him. He was so soft, so raw and intense, like nothing that he usually displayed. I wanted to pat myself on the back for having managed to bring out this tender side of him.
“You’re damn right you’re grounded,” I hissed, then slammed the door behind me.
I stormed past the Correction Officers, then went up to the Broken Bow Inn. I passed my fingers over my lips—they were so sensitive, tingling with the memory of his kiss.
I need a hot bath. Or a cold shower.
Harper
(Daughter of Hazel & Tejus)
I reached the stables behind the Lords’ mansions and guided the horse to its enclosure, where servants had already left fresh water and hay. I stroked its neck and dropped a kiss on its nose. It huffed and nuzzled my face, and I found myself genuinely head over heels for the creature.
“I like you, too,” I murmured, then looked around.
There was no sign of Caspian in his mansion, according to my True Sight. I frowned, wondering where he could be at this hour. I didn’t want to think that something might have happened to him in the gorge, but a thump in my stomach forced me to consider it.
I checked every room, but only saw servants and a couple of Exiled Maras—young ones, most likely in their early teens. They were reading in a study, seated at a table surrounded by walls covered in books. I scanned the other mansions as well, hoping I’d catch a glimpse of him somewhere, maybe even visiting with Amalia Obara, the perfect blonde with sky-blue eyes and a perfect, ladylike demeanor.
Still, no sign of him anywhere.
“Looking for me?” Caspian’s voice startled me.
I yelped, jumped a couple of steps forward, then turned around to find Caspian standing next to his horse’s enclosure. His jade eyes glimmered with amusement as he took off his hood and mask. Only then did I notice the cuts in his black uniform, with traces of dried blood.
He’d already healed, but he’d definitely sustained his share of injuries during our battle in the gorge. I quickly regained my cool composure and put on a straight face. I didn’t like displaying any kind of emotion, especially in front of Caspian. He had a way of using it against me.
“Where’d you slither out from?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
He smirked, then moved closer. My body stopped listening to my brain, the muscles tightening as I tried hard to breathe evenly. Caspian was making it very difficult for me to focus.
“I have my secret access routes into the city,” he replied. “I believe I’ve already shown you one.”
“Oh, right.” I nodded briefly. “Well, good to see you’re back in one piece.”
“Were you worried?”
That twinkle in his eyes persisted, while he kept a straight face. He was toying with me.
Two can play that game.
“No, I just feared you’d get yourself killed before you answered my questions.” I shrugged, feigning boredom. “I don’t like it when my investigative leads kick the bucket. It means I have to start all over.”
The corner of his mouth twitched for just a split second, enough to make me wonder whether it was real or I’d just imagined it. I crossed my arms over my chest, uncomfortable with barely a few inches between us. His energy was still flowing through me, and it seemed to resonate with his proximity, to the point where I could almost feel my body hum gently.
“Speaking of which, why’d you run off without saying anything?” I asked.
“I didn’t think you were one to care for manners,” Caspian replied. “Were you upset I didn’t say goodbye?”
“No, I just thought some invisible daemon might have survived Blaze’s inferno and managed to snatch you and shove you in one of those crevices.”
“The fighting was done,” he said, his eyes fixed on mine. “You won. There was no need for me to be there anymore. Besides, Vincent and the others weren’t too far away. I saw them on my way back through a neighboring gorge. I wouldn’t have wanted them to find me there, anyway.”
“Ah, yes, the secrecy!” I quipped, then offered a smug grin, befitting his overly confident attitude. “By the way, I’m not sure you noticed, but we all survived the gorge. So, pay up.”
“Pay up?” He raised an eyebrow and mirrored my stance, bringing his arms over his broad chest. I felt tiny in comparison, despite my height and athletic physique. I also felt warm, a sensation I’d only experienced whenever I was near him.
“You said you’d answer my questions if I made it out of the gorge in one piece,” I reminded him, slightly irritated. He made me foolishly nervous. “I’m here, so… spill.”
Caspian took another step, bringing himself so close that I had to tilt my head back to be able to look in his eyes.
Big mistake.
I inhaled his scent and felt a little lightheaded. Slim ribbons of gold shimmered out of him, along with dark green and red tendrils—it was how his emotions manifested, to my sentry eyes. Now that I’d had a taste of his blood and I could see everything clearly, I was positive that I’d somehow cracked through his shell and tapped into his feelings. I’d been quite sure before, but now, hours later, there was literally no denying it. And I wasn’t going to tell him, either. This was my little tactical advantage.
His gaze darkened as he looked at me.
“You only get one question answered,” he said, and my lips parted in response. He noticed, but his eyes quickly found mine again. “You have until tomorrow night to formulate it, Miss Hellswan. Think it through and use it wisely.”
“You’re joking,” I gasped.
“Do I look like I’m joking?” he replied, moving his hands behind his back.
“No, but seriously, are you joking?” I shot back. “After all I’ve been through? Not to mention I came back from the Valley of Screams with more questions than answers! I kept my word, and you said you’d answer my questions. Emphasis on the plural!”
He scoffed, looking away for a couple of seconds before shifting his attention back to me. My fists were balled at my sides, while my pulse had decided to go on a rampant sprint.
“You must understand that I cannot trust you so easily,” he said.
“Really? Not even now? Have I not given you enough reasons to trust me, while all you’ve done is keep me in the dark?”
“Miss Hellswan, many lives depend on my secrecy,” he replied bluntly. “Until I can assess your overall trustworthiness, you only get one question answered. You can take it or you can leave it. That is all I can offer right now.”
A minute went by in absolute silence, as my blood simmered and I narrowed my eyes at him. I was tempted to argue over this, give him a piece of my mind, but, based on everything we’d seen and discovered in the gorges, I was better off with
Caspian on my side—even if all I got were tiny morsels of information.
I thought this over, while my gaze traveled along the sharp lines of his face and settled on his lips for a brief moment. They parted slowly, prompting me to look up and find myself reflected in the jade mirrors of his eyes, his long black eyelashes casting their delicate shadows above. Ancient Greek sculptors would’ve considered him a masterpiece.
The dark green emotion I’d noticed earlier was now flaring at me, warning me. I understood then what I was seeing. It was distrust. He really didn’t trust me. There was a mixture of fear and concern swirling around in him, flakes of red and yellow mixing with his wariness. At least he was being honest about his feelings, though I couldn’t yet put my finger on that golden glow emanating from his pale skin—that was something else entirely.
One question was better than none, I figured. I let a heavy sigh tumble out of my chest and nodded, relaxing my hands and placing them on my hips.
“Fine, Lord Kifo,” I muttered begrudgingly. “I’ll ask one question. For now. But why are you giving me until tomorrow to formulate it? I can pick any of the dozen burning ones I’ve got lined up for you.”
He cocked his head to one side, then gave me a half-smile that made me thaw like an ice cube dropped in hot water.
What is wrong with me? Get it together, Harper Hellswan!
“I’m simply giving you time, so you make sure to ask me the right question,” he said softly.
I blinked a few times, trying to figure him out. It turned out that being able to read his emotions wasn’t as cut and dry as I’d thought it would be. He still baffled me.
“I swear, I have a really hard time trying to understand you,” I murmured. “It’s incredibly frustrating, and I don’t mean just you. You are extremely frustrating all on your own, before I even begin to analyze everything else around you. There’s no better way of saying this, but you baffle me, Lord Kifo, and I fear I might get hurt or worse if I keep trying to figure you out.”
A Shade of Vampire 53: A Hunt of Fiends Page 17
