by Garth Ono
"Please don't tell me you buy cheap heels," Haley said. "I'll disown you."
Kate smiled. Everything she bought was cheap, used, or on sale. Haley might waste hundreds of dollars on a pair of designer shoes, but Kate's mother raised her to be more responsible. And, of course, she never really earned enough to pay $500 for dresses and shoes that she'd rarely wear.
The zombie opened his mouth to wail at her, but nothing came out. Sometimes the stupid rotters forgot, or couldn't, suck in a breath to make a sound. She moved in slowly, machete held back and up. The rotting, one-eyed monster surged at her without warning.
"Hai!" she cried, and her blade bit into his neck. The spine severed, and the rotter went down. Kate turned in time to see Haley take off her zombie's head. That's when she saw the other one rushing toward her sister's back. "Watch out behind you!"
Kate raced toward her. Haley ducked and dodged, and barely avoided being caught. Halfway across the street Kate spotted five more zombies coming between the houses.
"Five more," she called, turning to engage the newcomers. An SUV turned onto the street. Kate waved them away. "Zombies! Run!"
The woman driving hit the brakes, put it in reverse, and was out of there in a flash. Kate was charging straight at the undead menace with a wild cry to distract them away from Haley. She slashed one across the belly, and cut to the left. Another was on top of her in an instant. The slayer ducked under his reaching hands, bringing her machete around to chop his leg off at mid-shin.
As that zombie fell, she was already leaping over it to engage the next one. Haley raced past her to slam into the side of another, before bouncing off and engaging the slashed one.
"Die!" Kate screamed, taking off a head. She spun as she swung her blade up and around. Her razor-sharp machete sliced through the next zombie's shoulder, taking off his head and one shoulder. "Two more down!"
"Another one bites the dust!" Haley called. "And another one."
Kate turned to find a rotter barreling down on her. She just had time to thrust her machete into his belly. That didn't stop him. The ugly rotter forced his way up her blade and seized her throat. His thumbs dug in over her arteries, so she only had seconds. She released the machete, threw her arm over and across his arms, and then swept them away as she turned away from the attack. Then she brought her elbow back across his face, forcing him back a step.
Haley arrived and decapitated him.
"Wow. That was intense," Haley said, looking around wild-eyed. "Are there any more?"
"I think we're good," Kate said, rubbing her throat. "Let's get some firearms before sweeping the neighborhood."
That was too many zombies in one place to be anything but some of Alex Cray's horde. He could very well be attacking the town on several fronts. She sent another text to the sheriff to warn him of zombies in town. And then they began a thorough sweep of those three streets.
Chapter 20
"Hey, zombie, zombie, zombie!" Kate called, and then paused to listen and look around.
She and Haley slowly moved down the residential street. Kate walked across the front yards on the north side of the road, Haley on the south. Her sister carried a Glock 31 in her left hand and a machete in the right. The zombie slayer had a machete across her back, with Lupara in hand.
They were halfway down the third and final street. So far they hadn't found any more zombies. Those eight were the only ones. Kate wondered if they missed the minion. Was Mongrel in hiding and watching, waiting for them to drop their guard? Simon mentioned that his wife, Mercy, was one of Alexander's minions. The sheriff and mayor needed to be informed.
Spotting a very pregnant Mrs. Keller, with her two small children, standing in their doorway, Kate felt her stress level go up. Cindy was a decade older than Kate and a stay at home mom. Her husband worked at the Coleman Insurance agency. Kate was torn between needlessly frightening the children and ensuring their safety.
"Does the sheriff know you are over here terrorizing the neighborhood?" Cindy said.
"By 'terrorizing the neighborhood' you mean killing murderous zombies so they don't kill you and your family, right?" Kate said with a little more heat than intended.
"Well," Cindy said. "I never…"
The pregnant woman quickly ushered her children back inside.
"And by 'I never' you mean you never think things through before angrily confronting someone," Kate muttered. "Another thing, don't bring your children if you're going to confront someone you think is dangerous."
After they swept the streets, the two slayers returned to Kate's Land Rover. They collected the heads, adding them to the twenty already bagged in the truck. Then Kate cajoled, threatened, and pleaded until Haley helped her drag all of the bodies to a collection spot. The County Coroner chewed her out once for leaving headless corpses scattered over two streets.
Kate took her picture, got the GPS, and sent it to the retrieval team.
"They must love you," Haley said.
"Yeah, no," she said. "I don't think the coroner appreciates my efforts at all. I create work."
"Someone's got to kill the damn rotters."
Kate nodded as she checked her e-mail and messages. Nothing from the sheriff. So she texted her favorite deputy. He called her right back.
"Hey, Deputy Dog," she answered.
"Good morning, Kate. What can I do for you?"
She stopped, mouth open, and thought better of her response. Haley was listening, after all. Instead, Kate kept it professional.
"I have a few heads to turn in for the bounty, and the sheriff isn't answering his phone or texts. Can you do me a big favor and take them off my hands?"
"Sheriff's not answering for me, either," he said, and sighed gustily. "Okay. Meet me at the office. But you owe me, Kate."
Again, she glanced at her sister before answering. "You're the best, Deputy Dog."
Haley was smiling and shaking her head when Kate ended the call. She watched her warily a moment.
"What?"
"You like him."
She couldn't deny it. "Why do you say that?"
"I don't know. Body language. The tone of your voice. The fact that you bit your lip five times during that short conversation," Haley said. "Shall I continue?"
"I'm good," she said, heading for the driver's seat. "The deputy is going to take the heads. Let's go."
Before they left, Kate called Mrs. Franklin to let her know the zombie problem was taken care of, so it was safe to return home.
"You are so sweet," Haley said. "I never knew."
"It's called good customer relations," Kate said. "Got Zombies has an A Rating at the Better Business Bureau."
"You always were a straight A student," Haley said. "I bet you were the teacher's pet, too."
Kate almost corrected her. The only class she ever received an A in was Physical Education. She played really good. Other courses were all a struggle. But then why destroy her sister's high opinion of her?
"That from the girl who was caught dating her teachers," she said. "You were the teacher's pet."
Kate knew of four teachers Haley dated in high school, and at least one of them lost his job over the accusations. Haley's mom refused to press charges, and Kate suspected she understood her daughter had seduced the poor guy.
"Of course!" she said, and laughed. "I had this body at thirteen! And so did you, Miss Perfect."
She didn't flaunt it like her sister. Maybe if she grew up in a big city like Memphis she would've dressed more provocatively. No one would put up with that behavior in Tennyson's schools, especially her teacher parents.
They entered Tennyson proper. Kate checked the Frasier Mansion. Mayor Gilbert's car was still there, but the sheriff's car was gone. Of course. She could only hope he was back at his office.
Downtown was busier than usual for that time of day. There was just one space in front of the sheriff's office available, and Kate whipped into it just ahead of an SUV, which rated her an angry honk.
&n
bsp; "You lag, you lose," she said. Kate noticed the sheriff's office windows were dark. "We have a few minutes to kill. Do you want to get breakfast at the diner?"
"I already had breakfast."
Kate didn't. Mrs. Franklin called before she ate. Her stomach was letting her know about it. So she told Haley to wait in the truck while she ran over for a takeout breakfast sandwich.
When she returned from the diner, Haley was walking around and causing a stir. That's when Kate realized she was wearing high-heeled thigh boots. That outfit was something the people of Tennyson weren't used to seeing. Women were staring at Haley in horror, while the men gawked with far different thoughts.
"The guys here are very nice," Haley said with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "I've been asked out for two dates, and received another three very inappropriate offers."
"Get in the truck."
"The best part is half of the people think I am you."
Kate felt her face heating up. The gossip mongers were going to go to town on her. She was already thinking about who she needed to speak to so all the wrong people knew it was her sister, not her.
"You corrected them, right?" Kate asked. Haley didn't answer. "Jesus."
"The piercings and tattoos didn't clue them in?"
Haley only had one visible tattoo, a stylized heart, roses, and thorns tramp stamp. She could understand people not seeing that while speaking to her, but she had a diamond nose stud on the left side of her nose, pierced nipples and belly button. Maybe they didn't notice the nipple studs poking at her way too tight top, but the diamond belly ring was pretty obvious.
The only thing pierced on Kate were her ears.
"Nope," she said. Haley pointed up the street. "Here comes your boyfriend."
Deputy Doge slowed and turned down the side street beside the office. He parked around back. Kate waited with Haley out front. Lots of people were watching them. She realized it was best if seen side-by-side, so everyone could see it was Haley. Half the town already knew about her half-sister.
"About time," Kate said when Deputy Doge opened the front door. "Can we bring in the heads now?"
"Well good morning to you, too, Miss Kate," he said, grinning. "As for the heads, I'll take them and give you a voucher. I don't have cash box privileges."
Haley kicked up a fuss. She didn't trust them to pay off a voucher. Kate assumed that a voucher in the Zombie Lands meant you weren't going to be paid. Sheriff Coleman wasn't like that. He always paid, though she didn't like receiving vouchers, either.
The deputy helped them carry in the heavy-duty black plastic bags. Kate tried to place no more than two heads per bag, since they weighed around eleven pounds each. With twenty-eight heads, that was a lot of bags. But those bags weren't free, either. A small crowd gathered to watch.
I should've backed into the parking space, she thought.
Despite taking several trips each to get all of the heads inside, they finished pretty quickly. Haley was the only one of them who enjoyed all of the attention. And she put on quite a show, too. Kate was so relieved when they finished.
"Where's the sheriff?" she asked. Haley grabbed the voucher for $1400 out of her hand. "I have questions and we need to be paid."
She also thought he should be out hunting the zombies. Kate had the impression that once she was given the job, the sheriff and his deputies thought they were off the case.
"Don't know. He's not answering his phone," the deputy said. "He did text me about an hour ago and said meet him here. That's all I know."
Kate didn't like it. Why was the sheriff acting strange? On top of that, Haley thought it fun to pretend to be her. She was pretty sure Victoria and Shea were going to do something that would eventually get her evicted. And she still didn't know where Alex Cray and his zombie horde were hiding.
Chapter 21
Kate's neighborhood felt wrong. It was too quiet for that time of day. Haley thought she was being paranoid. Kate didn't think her sister was worried enough.
The garage door was open when they pulled up. All three Harleys were lined up to one side on the driveway. Kate wasn't exactly pleased to see the big bikes loaded with weapons. It looked like Victoria and Shea were ready for some action.
The blonde and redheaded were waiting upstairs. Shea was on the couch, while Victoria sat at the table. Both had their noses in their smartphones. Kate couldn't tell if they were messaging friends or surfing the web.
"Took you long enough," Shea said, not bothering to look up. "I'm bored out of my mind."
"Tennyson's zombie problem has made the national headlines," Victoria said. "The Republicans in Washington are demanding the states provide better security along the border with the Zombie Territory."
"The Democrats want the President to do something," Shea added. "It's a mess."
"So nothing will be done," Kate said. "More Washington deadlock."
"It gets better," Victoria said, looking up with a wicked grin. "A Republican Senator from North Carolina has accused the Democrats of being Pro-Zombie, Pro-Vampire. He even said that the undead would vote Democratic if allowed."
"What?" Haley cried, and barked a laugh.
"The Democrats countered by saying he's a racist bigot," Shea said. "Isn't racist bigot redundant or something?"
Kate felt a little guilty that her first thought was better security might kill her business. Having the government patrol for undead would make it safer, but then she'd have to get a real job. She'd have to work regular hours. Since she only had a high school education, she didn't qualify for much more than minimum wage jobs.
Her parents couldn't afford to send her to university in the States, and Kate wasn't sure her grades were good enough to qualify to go in the UK. She kind of hoped the politicians stayed gridlocked, and she felt bad about feeling that way.
"None of that is helping us right now," Kate said. "We have a drac and his horde to deal with."
"More zombies? We killed another twenty of the stupid rotters this morning," Shea said. "How many do you think he has left?"
"Kate and I scored another eight heads," Haley said. "But the stupid deputy would only give us a voucher for the twenty-eight heads. Apparently only his majesty the Sheriff of Tennyson can touch the royal treasure."
"That's a jab at me, isn't it?" Kate said. "And Randy Doge is not stupid."
Three sets of eyes slanted toward her, brows arch. Her face heated up.
"I think we need to be more proactive," Kate continued, changing the subject. "We'll do it your way. Starting right now we hit the road and start looking for any signs of zombies. The four of us can cover a lot of territory really fast."
"You want us to split up?" Haley asked. "Sounds kind of dangerous."
Kate argued that splitting up enabled them to find the undead faster. Whoever spotted them was not to engage. Instead, she was to call or text the others with her location. They would only fight the zombies as a team. It wasn't hard to convince them. They were a lot crazier than her.
Unfolding a map, she assigned each of them a section of the city. Kate would take the western section, since it was where the zombies were most likely to be. Haley got the north, with Shea going south and Victoria east.
"I should get the Wild, Wild West side," Victoria argued. "I'm from Texas, after all."
"Shut up," Kate said.
"You're stupid," Haley added.
They laughed. Kate didn't know why she loved them so much. Those women made her crazy most of the time. Yet, Shea and Victoria were so much like Haley. And Kate adored her sister.
Mr. Rose came out when they headed out. Kate spotted him halfway across the backyard, heading toward her and trying to wave her down. She waved back with a big smile, got in the truck, and drove off. She didn't even want to know what he wanted. A sense of relief washed over her when all three women followed her out, instead of hanging back to flirt with her landlord.
Kate drove slowly through downtown, and then circled around to cruise down the a
lleys behind the businesses. In the past she'd found more zombies in the alleys than on Main Street. They seemed attracted to dumpsters for some reason.
"Why am I not surprised?" she muttered as she passed behind the sheriff's office.
Neither Sheriff Coleman nor his deputies were there. So she swung back around for another pass down Main Street, before heading off to check the homes and subdivisions west of town. The mayor's car was still in front of the Frasier Mansion, along with quite a few others.
She wondered what was up. The Frasiers were big in local politics and charities. Kate tried to remember if there was some event coming up.
"Maybe I should get a subscription to the local paper."
She received a text. It was sent to everyone from Shea. Kate shook her head after reading, Can dogs be zombies? I have a pretty mangy looking one tearing up a garbage can.
Wasn't even worth answering, though the other two women did anyway. Kate ignored them. She wondered how they survived the Zombie Lands with such a cavalier attitude.
A few people came out of their homes to ask if there was a problem. She never got that before putting the big Got Zombies? sign on the Defender's doors about a month back. It doubled the number of prank calls she received, too.
When Sheriff Coleman called, she answered with an enthused, "Finally! Where have you been?"
"Working. I need you right now," he said. "We have zombies attacking Taylor's hardware. The deputies and I are on the way."
He hung up before she could answer. For a second she just stared at the phone. There was no sign of zombies or any kind of trouble when she passed through town. Where did they come from? Then she texted the other women, ZOMBIES DOWNTOWN HURRY
Kate did a quick u-turn, driving up on someone's lawn. She hit the gas and sped back toward Main Street. One of her best friends, Teri, worked in the Taylor Hardware offices. Her father owned the store. Figuring the other women would enter the store via the front, Kate turned down the alley behind the stores. She came to a skidding stop, noticing Teri's Mustang parked behind the store.
