by Mary May
“You lying cheating scum! You would mock me right on the street!” Alec looked at Klara and told her to stay in the car before opening the door to confront his outraged soon to be ex-wife. “It’s the little blonde again isn’t it? How dare you! You are such a mangy whore- sniffing dog!” Alec grabbed Clarissa by the arm roughly and led her away from his car. “That’s enough, Clarissa! I won’t have you making a scene like this on the street in front of everyone,” he growled.
“What? You can paw your new lover in your car on the street but I can’t oppose it?”
Shaking her hand loose from where it clutched his sleeve, he spoke to her with barely disguised disgust. “Don’t make me file a restraining order against you.” He looked pointedly at the police station just a few doors down from where they were standing. “I’m telling you one last time to leave me alone. I don’t answer to you. You can’t see anything except what you want to see. Approach me one more time Clarissa and I swear you won’t like it,” he warned.
Tossing her long dark hair over her shoulders she smirked at him. “Oh, really? Tell me, dear Alec, just what will you do?” Leveling a deadly stare at her in warning he turned and walked away while Clarissa just laughed.
He got back in the car and pulled away from the curb with a short bark of rubber on asphalt. “Umm… who was that charming lady?” Klara asked quietly.
Still trying to regain control of his temper, Alec cut her a sharp look. “My wife.”
Klara stared at him in shock! “Your wife? You’re married?”
Pulling the car into the parking garage of his law firm, he shook his head. “Not for much longer, I hope.”
Getting out of the car Klara asked, “So what was her problem anyway?” Giving her a deadpan look Alec just kept walking toward the elevator. Following along behind him she thought about it for a minute. “Oh… oh! She thought that you and me…” she trailed off.
He turned and quirked an eyebrow at her. “Exactly.” They got into the elevator and Alec pushed the button for the top floor.
“But if you’re getting divorced why would she care? Unless you were the one that filed for divorce…oh, never mind, this is really none of my business. I’m sorry.”
Rubbing his face roughly then shoving his hands deep in his pants pockets Alec looked at her resigned. “Look you’re going to hear this sooner or later and I would rather you hear it from me.”
Not quite knowing just what might be coming Klara nodded her head.
“Two years ago I cheated on Clarissa. It was a one time thing that I will regret for the rest of my life. I admitted my mistake to Clarissa and begged for her forgiveness, but I guess there are some things that can’t be forgiven. We tried therapy and marriage counseling but there wasn’t anything left to save. I filed for divorce almost six months ago.”
Klara stood there with her mouth open trying to come up with something to say to that. Finally she said she was sorry.
“No, don’t be sorry. This was my mistake and I claim all responsibility. Clarissa was very deeply hurt by my actions.”
They reached the top floor and walked into Alec’s office. Klara looked up at the floor to ceiling bookshelves lined with legal books. The dark walnut paneling and the heavy wood and leather furniture boasted the fact that this was clearly a man’s room. The smell of Cuban cigars permeated the air. She walked over to a picture that was in a heavy silver frame. It was a much younger Alec in cap and gown with his grandfather and a woman she guessed was his grandmother. “That was when I graduated from law school. My grandparents raised me from the time I was about six.”
Placing the frame back on the shelf she turned to him. “What happened to your parents, if you don’t mind my asking?”
He shrugged as he sat down at his desk. “You may find the story strangely familiar. My mother was a mother at seventeen. She and the man that was said to be my father moved away to Seattle, Washington. My grandparents were not aware of my birth, not until they got a phone call from the Seattle police. My mother and father were both arrested for possession of drugs with the intent to sell. This was the third time for both of them, which meant a full jail sentence. I met my grandparents the day they took them both away. That’s why I said that Matthew’s family might not know about him. Being absent from his life may not be by their choice.”
Klara looked at the man sitting across the desk from her. To look at him you would never guess the upheaval his life was in. He appeared calm and in control. His outward appearance was neat and professional, but she got the feeling that his insides were a disaster. She knew that feeling well…
Chapter 11
Klara sat in her therapist’s office a week later and had just finished telling Ben about Matthew. He looked at her over his glasses “Klara, I understand the need that you feel to protect Matthew. Your mother’s instincts are fully engaged right now.”
Klara held her hand up to stop him. “My mother’s instincts are fully engaged right now? Ben, that is a truckload of crap and you know it. Any decent human being would feel…should feel… the same way. Don’t make this about me trying to find a replacement for Josh.”
Ben set his clipboard on the table beside him and leaned forward. “Klara, I didn’t bring up Josh; you did. I agree with you about how any decent human should feel protective toward a child. That wasn’t the point I was trying to make.”
Feeling agitated she motioned with her hand for him to continue. He tapped his pen against the arm of his chair, studying her.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Klara finally demanded.
He raised an eyebrow at her mulish expression. “Why are you so upset today? Really? Are you mad at me because I keep bringing you back to the reason you’re here? You can’t hide behind Matthew, Klara. Just because you have something else to focus your energy on doesn’t mean that you can shove everything else to the back of your mental closet and close the door on it. You still have to face and come to terms with your past. If you don’t, it will always be there, waiting to slam you when you least expect it.”
She got to her feet and walked to the bookcase where he had a good dozen or so pictures of his family in frames. Klara picked up a picture of his daughter and heaved it across the room where it crashed against the far wall, shattering the glass and destroying the frame. Ben jumped but then settled back down in his chair watching curiously, waiting to see what she would do.
Klara glared at him. “I can replace the frame and glass. I can make it look like brand new, but it won’t ever be the same, will it? See, that’s your problem, Ben. You keep telling me to deal with my past and come to terms with it. You sit there and tell me how I should feel or that you understand how I feel, but you don’t. I won’t ever come to terms with losing David and Josh I won’t ever accept it. I will learn how to live with it, but that’s the best that I can hope for. I’m not ‘hiding’ behind Matthew; I’m focusing on someone else’s pain. I’m looking beyond my own tragedy and seeing another’s. You may not agree with it, but I think I’m making progress.”
Ben went to a closet and got out a broom and a dustpan; he handed them both to Klara. “That’s a lovely line of b.s., Klara. You are hiding behind Matthew to keep from having to deal with the loss of your husband and son. It’s the perfect way to redirect your emotions to something more manageable.”
She glared at him, her eyes bright with angry tears. “You’re wrong,” she whispered.
Shaking his head, he disagreed with her. “No, Klara, I’m right and that is what is making you so angry right now.”
She swept up the glass and the broken pieces of the frame. After carefully removing the picture, she dumped the rest in the trashcan. “I’ll have your frame replaced,” she offered.
Once more going to the closet he pulled out another frame, this one made of heavy walnut. He put the picture in the new frame and set it back on the shelf with the others. Then he stood back and studied it for a moment. “It’s not the same, that’s true…but i
t’s still good. I know your life will never be the same, Klara, but it can still be good. That’s the point I’m trying to get you to accept. That one day… in time your life can be good again.”
Driving back home after her therapy session she thought over what Ben had told her. If only it was as easy as putting herself in a new frame. Not ready to go home just yet she found herself once more walking the banks of the Black River. She watched as the water flowed over and around anything in its way. It didn’t get upset or angry…it just flowed on its way. She suddenly remembered a sermon that David’s brother had preached, something about learning to give and sway or flow and move with the spirit of the Lord. That if we would learn how to do that the Lord would guide us around the obstacles of life. Watching the river glide toward its destination somehow made it click for her. She knew she was rigid and unyielding in her grief and unless she learned to yield to the gentle prompting of the Lord, she was going to break under the pressure.
“I know You’re working in me, Lord, I can feel it. I’m still not sure I will ever trust in You like I did before. I’m not sure I want to. You will never be able to give me an acceptable answer for taking my family.” She looked one more time at the inky blackness of the Black River then she made her way back to her car…
***
“Boy, you have got to get a handle on that woman! She is spouting enough sewage to fertilize the entire northern hemisphere!” Alec watched as his grandfather poured himself a shot of brandy and then lit another fat cigar. He was amazed that at seventy three years old his grandfather still had the constitution of a bull. Waving his cigar in the air he suddenly pointed it at his grandson. “Tell me you stopped her alimony.”
Running his fingers through his dark hair, Alec shook his head no.
“Why not? Why would you keep paying that hateful shrew your good money when she is out to ruin you, boy?”
Alec sighed deeply then slid down in his chair. “Granddad, I owe her something. I was unfaithful. I owe her something. I can’t just cut her off completely,” he pointed out.
Wrinkling his brow Abraham Adams stared at his grandson with disbelief. The boy was more like his own son, but sometimes he just didn’t understand him. Now would be one of those times. “Son, you did wrong…no argument there. But what she is doing is just as wrong. Yours was a one time thing…it was a one time thing, wasn’t it?” he questioned with a hard look.
“Yes, sir, it was one time. I swear.”
Drawing deeply on the cigar, his grandfather gave him a speculative look. “Why do you think you did it? What drove you to another woman’s arms? Had the fire at home gone cold?”
“I really don’t know,” he answered.
“Poppycock! You know…you just don’t want to admit it, but you know!” Abraham pushed him further. “Admit that you just couldn’t stomach that simpering female of yours any longer. Admit that I was right and you had grown tired of her empty chatter.”
Alec got to his feet to pour himself a much-needed shot of brandy then he turned toward his grandfather, staring down into the amber liquid, swirling it in his glass. “Ok, I admit it. I needed something that Clarissa just wasn’t capable of providing. I was seduced by Rebecca’s sharp mind as much as I was her body. I had already realized that my marriage was in trouble. You were right. Clarissa was a mistake. My entire marriage was a mistake. Does that make you feel better?”
Emptying his glass Abraham set it on the table with a loud thud. “Don’t you take that tone with me, boy. The point that I’m trying to get to here is the fact that I don’t think your princess was hurt as much as she was mad that you found someone else more attractive than her. That girl hung everything on her looks, and Rebecca was no Clarissa in the looks department. So she was good and ticked off that Rebecca could do something that she couldn’t. Now she could have tried to improve her mind. Took some classes or picked up a newspaper from time to time but she didn’t. She didn’t do anything to help your marriage either. The blame does not all belong on your shoulders so I wish you would stop acting like her bloody martyr!”
Knocking back the rest of the brandy, Alec nodded to his grandfather then wished him a good night. He left and headed to his high rise on the east side of town. He swung open the door to the plush suite with its Italian marble floors and towering ceilings. The sofa was especially made for his tall frame and had cost well over ten thousand dollars. He noticed the art on the walls that was worth tens of thousands of dollars. He didn’t even like any of it. Couldn’t make sense out of most of it honestly. He stood in front of an oil painting of a bowl of fruit. It was abstract and ugly as hell. He jerked it off the wall and punched his fist through it. Then he went to the next painting and did the same. Only after every painting was destroyed did he feel better. He proceeded to drag the sofa out to the hallway, along with the matching love seat and recliner. He called down to the front desk to have someone come pick them up. He went into the bedroom and stripped the silk sheets and blankets off the bed. He grabbed a couch blanket and curled up in the middle of the massive naked California King and slept better than he had in weeks.
“Your server will be with you in just a few moments; enjoy your meal.” Klara walked back to the small booth and waited for her next diner to enter the upscale restaurant. Her feet were aching from the heels that were a required part of her hostess uniform. She had been at Michelangelo’s Italian restaurant a little over a week and frankly she hated it, but she hated being broke even more so she stuck it out. Alec still tried to persuade her to come back to the law firm, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She felt like she owed him so much that to continue to work for him would be too much. Besides, this paid the bills and allowed her to put some away in savings as well. She was sure her feet would get used to the mile-high heels eventually. Hearing voices coming from the front foyer, she pasted on a fake smile and waited for the new diners to come through the doorway.
Alec opened the door for his grandfather and waited while he passed into the foyer of Michelangelo’s, his grandfather’s favorite Italian restaurant. He stopped in stunned disbelief when he saw Klara standing at the hostess platform. Two thoughts crossed his mind almost simultaneously. First he was angry that she would rather work here than for him. The second thought was that she was stunningly beautiful. He had seen her dressed for the office and thought she was attractive, but he had never seen her when she pulled out all the stops. The evening gown was a deep burgundy and swept down, hugging her figure to the floor. The plunging neckline didn’t help his blood pressure any either. Her dark blonde hair was pulled back in a sleek bun that accented her eyes and cheekbones. She had left her eyes nearly bare with only a light coat of mascara and a thin line of black eyeliner on her top lids, but she had glossed her lips in a deep burgundy. Innocent eyes paired with seductive lips made for a devastating combination.
Her smile faltered when she saw him standing there. “Mr. Adams, how nice to see you this evening. Would you like a booth in the back?”
Stepping in front of his grandfather, Alec motioned for her to lean closer to him. “What do you think you are doing?” he whispered angrily.
Pulling back her eyes wide, she replied. “I’m working!”
Glaring at her with narrowed eyes, Alec looked pointedly at her attire and her displayed cleavage. “That’s a little revealing, isn’t it?”
Stiffening her shoulders, Klara carefully smoothed out her expression. “It is the uniform for the job, Mr. Adams; if you would like to complain to the owner, I will arrange a meeting. Now would you like a booth in the back this evening?” she asked again.
Shrugging out of his dinner jacket Alec walked around and placed it around Klara’s shoulders, pulling the lapels together in the front. “What I would like is for you to cover yourself up!” he growled. He whistled at a passing waitress. “Miss, please tell your boss that he will need to fill the position of hostess with someone else. Klara just quit.” As he pulled her toward the door by the lapels of
his jacket, Klara tried to stop by pulling back, but her heels had her at a decided disadvantage.
“Stop it! Alec, stop it this instant! What are doing? You have no right!” She hissed at him, looking around frantically as the diners all turned to see what was happening. Finally tired of pulling on her, Alec bent down and swept her up into his arms; kicking open the door, he carried her out of the restaurant.
Walking over to his sedan he set down a squirming, hissing Klara. The second her feet touched pavement, Klara’s fist shot out and she punched Alec squarely in the jaw, snapping his head back hard. “Who the hell do you think you are? You just cost me my job! You have no right whatsoever to tell me where I can work or what I can wear for that matter!”
Eyes blazing Alec lifted his hand and slowly rubbed his jaw. “I didn’t save your life to watch you destroy it by demeaning yourself working here!”
Standing in four-inch heels almost put Klara eye to eye with him, so she didn’t have to look up much when she stepped closer to him. “I didn’t ask you to save me, now did I? I didn’t ask you to take care of my cat or anything else! I haven’t asked you for a single thing, Alec Adams. Stop interfering with my life!”
Throwing off his jacket she stepped around him to leave when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to a sudden stop. “Is that what I’m doing, Klara? Interfering? For someone who claims to not need my help you sure do have a strange way of putting yourself in situations where you do need me, don’t you think?”
