“You always wanted to travel.”
“Did I?” Jennie turned to her mother. “I dreamed of visiting Paris or seeing things beyond Magnolia.”
“I wanted that for you too.” Her mother smiled. “I wanted you to have the life I never could.”
Jennie sighed. She understood how much her mother had given up for her. Selena had gotten pregnant with Jennie her senior year of high school after meeting a boy on a spring break trip to Pensacola. Jennie had never met her father. He’d wanted nothing to do with either of them, and Selena had made the decision to raise Jennie on her own, sacrificing the college scholarship she’d been awarded to stay in Magnolia.
Nana and Granddad helped, and Jennie had been raised knowing she was loved but also inherently aware she should take advantage of every opportunity since her mom had been denied so much.
Selena had never approved of her relationship with Lucas, which had less to do with him and more with her fear that a serious boyfriend would limit Jennie’s prospects. But Jennie hadn’t been able to imagine life without Lucas, at least until an illegal tackle their freshman year of college had ended his football career and sent him spiraling down a different path.
“What do you think would have happened if Lucas hadn’t blown out his knee?” she asked.
“The two of you were so young to be that serious. I don’t see how it would have lasted.”
“I loved him,” Jennie whispered, those three words conjuring a riot of emotions in her. One day back in Magnolia had reminded her of all the dreams she’d left behind when she signed on as a traveling nurse.
“It’s been five years. You’ve seen and experienced so much. Surely you aren’t still pining for your first love?”
“Of course not,” Jennie agreed, ignoring the ache in her heart. “I’m sure he’s moved on anyway?” She bit down on her lower lip as she waited for her mother’s answer.
“He hasn’t dated anyone since you left,” Selena said, appearing almost reluctant to share that information. “At least not seriously.”
“Oh.” Jennie’s jet-lagged brain worked to process that information. Of course she wasn’t thinking of a second chance with Lucas. She’d returned to Magnolia for Nana’s birthday, nothing more. But as she and her mom settled in to watch a movie, she couldn’t get the moment he’d put his arms around her on the steps of the farmhouse out of her mind. It felt good to be held by him again, like she’d truly come home.
CHAPTER FOUR
“I HEAR JENNIE’S back in town?”
Lucas paused in the act of packing his duffel bag two days later in the fire station locker room. He turned to face Gray Atwell, who was both his coworker and closest friend. “Yep.”
Gray leaned his back against one of the lockers and looked up to the ceiling. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You’ve got a lot on your plate. It didn’t seem worth mentioning.”
“Bull,” Gray muttered, glancing at Lucas then away. They both knew Gray was still reeling from his recent divorce, but that didn’t change the fact Lucas should have told him about Jennie’s return. “Don’t forget I was the one who dragged your butt out of the tailspin that started when she left the first time.”
Lucas slammed the locker shut with more force than necessary. “I was a mess before things ended with Jennie. Hell, my mess was the reason it ended. She didn’t deserve to be stuck with me.”
“She broke your heart.”
“I broke both our hearts,” Lucas corrected, shaking his head. “She needed to be free of me, or at least who I was at that time. I dragged her down.”
The fact that Gray—loyal to a fault—didn’t argue, spoke volumes. It still shamed Lucas to think of how low he’d sunk after the injury that had derailed his college football career and robbed him of the scholarship he’d needed to remain in school. Jennie had been unfailing in her support, but he’d pushed her away time and time again until finally breaking up with her after she’d graduated nursing school. All he’d been interested in at that time was numbing both his physical and emotional pain. Jennie had been a bright, shining star, but in the darkness that consumed him it hurt to even look at her, let alone allow her to love him.
“What about now?” Gray asked quietly.
“She’s here for a week because of her grandma’s birthday. Nothing’s changed.”
Gray sniffed. “You have.”
“She has a great life traveling the world. What do I have to offer her at this point?”
“Your heart.”
“I don’t get you.” Lucas blew out a shaky breath as he zipped up his duffel. “Your soon-to-be ex-wife cheats on you, rips apart your family and leaves you with almost all the responsibility for your kid. Why aren’t you bitter and cynical?”
“Because it won’t help Violet.” Gray’s green eyes softened as he spoke of his young daughter. “She’s the most important thing in my life and the only thing that matters going forward. My love story might have failed, but that doesn’t mean I want you to be miserable.”
“I’m happy.”
“You still love Jennie.”
“So what?” Lucas countered, not bothering to deny it. Other people might believe in falling in love more than once. For Lucas, Jennie would always hold his heart. Not that he planned to tell her.
“So man up.” Gray straightened and took a step closer to Lucas. “Everyone makes mistakes. You got off track but you righted course. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”
Lucas let out a snort and hefted the strap of his bag onto his shoulder. Gray’s words resonated deep inside, sparking a kernel of hope he’d thought had died long ago. “You might have missed your calling as a motivational speaker,” he told his friend.
Gray laughed. “Then you better heed my words of wisdom while I’m still doling them out for free.”
They walked out of the station, and Lucas climbed into his ancient Bronco. He hadn’t mentioned it to Gray, but he was actually on his way out to the Copley farm. True to her word, Jennie had already coordinated a good chunk of the arrangements for her grandmother’s birthday celebration. She’d hung flyers around town announcing an old-fashioned barn dance on Anna’s property Saturday night. According to Mary Ellen Winkler—who owned Sunnyside Bakery, where Lucas stopped almost every morning for breakfast—she’d booked a local band, asked the owner of a barbecue joint outside of town to cater and ordered a birthday cake from Sunnyside.
“That girl gets more done in a day than most people do in a month,” Mary Ellen had remarked to Lucas as she’d handed him a cup of coffee and his usual blueberry muffin.
And she’d done it all without needing his help, just as she’d said. He’d worked to stem a tide of disappointment, shocked when a text from her had come through a few hours before his shift ended. She’d asked him to meet her at the barn when he was off work and his foolish heart had soared. Apparently, Gray wasn’t the only hopeless romantic in town.
Anna’s farm was situated only ten miles outside of town, but the anticipation building in Lucas made it feel like a cross-country trek.
After a quick stop, he arrived at the farm. He bypassed the house and parked in front of the barn. He’d been visiting Jennie’s nana for close to a year now, and he had no doubt that she’d be able to read his unruly emotions if she saw him at the moment.
Doing his best to school his features, he walked through the open doors. The barn had been cleared out, with hay bales lining the perimeter walls. Country music drifted toward him from the far end, and he could see Jennie wielding a wide push broom. Maybe wielding wasn’t the right word. It was clear she hadn’t heard him drive up because, as the chorus of an old Dolly Parton song started, she brought the end of the broom handle close to her face and sang into it like it was a microphone.
Jennie had never been able to carry a tune, but that didn’t stop her from belting ou
t the lyrics about always loving someone.
Her back was to him as he watched, enthralled as ever by her enthusiasm and sprit. She had energy for days and made even the most ordinary moments special. Little snippets of the moments they’d shared over their years together flitted through his mind. High school dances, lazy summer nights under the stars, walking through campus together their first year away at college. Everything had been perfect until his injury changed it. Changed him. Now he wished he hadn’t been weak and selfish, willing to allow one moment to overshadow all the happiness he’d had with her.
Awash in memories, he jumped back a step when she shrieked his name.
“I was enjoying the performance,” he called as she stalked toward the radio in the corner and flipped it off.
“That’s humiliating,” she said through clenched teeth. “You know I can’t sing.”
“I also know you do it anyway.”
“When I’m alone,” she clarified.
“You used to sing in front of me.”
Her step seemed to falter as she stalked toward him. “That was a long time ago.”
“I still remember,” he said, letting emotion echo in his words. “I remember every moment, Jen.”
CHAPTER FIVE
HOW WAS SHE supposed to respond to that?
Jennie drew in a deep breath as she did her best not to melt into a puddle at the low, husky timbre of Lucas’s voice. He’d always managed to slay her with his words. Never fancy, but they still sent desire skittering along her spine.
It had been a mistake to text him. She’d thought of little else but the man watching her across the barn since he’d driven away two nights ago. The amount of work she’d gotten done on the party should have left her exhausted enough to serve as a distraction, but no such luck.
As handsome as he’d looked in his uniform, Lucas was even more attractive now in a faded T-shirt and well-worn jeans, with a baseball cap low on his head. His eyes danced with subtle teasing and she could see that he was fighting the urge to grin. This Lucas she knew—casual and flirty and utterly irresistible.
He held a paper cup toward her, as if presenting a peace offering. Fat chance for peace when a whole battalion of butterflies marched across her stomach as she moved forward.
“What’s this?” she asked, relieved that her voice didn’t tremble.
“Skinny decaf vanilla latte. Your favorite,” he said before his thick brows drew together under the bill of his hat. “Or at least it used to be. I guess I don’t know anymore—”
“It’s still my favorite.” She took the cup from him, careful not to let their fingers touch. “Thank you.”
“From what I’ve heard in town, you could use a break.”
Jennie shrugged as she sipped the drink. “I’m used to being busy and there’s so little time for preparations. It would have been easier if Nana had decided on the party weeks ago, but I’m going to do my best to make it perfect. Ninety is a big deal, and she’s special.”
“I agree.”
“I didn’t plan to be away for so long without a visit, you know?” Jennie looked over her shoulder at the empty barn. Growing up, her grandparents had kept horses and a few goats on the farm, but after her granddad died in Jennie’s sophomore year of high school, Nana sold the animals and let the garden beds and fields go fallow. Her grandmother still loved the property, but she’d lost her zest for working the land without her husband of over fifty years at her side. “When I first got back I thought nothing had changed, but after spending a couple of days out here, I can see how much she’s aged.” She cleared her throat when emotion bubbled up inside her. “This party has to show her—”
“She doesn’t begrudge you leaving.” Lucas’s voice was closer now, and she turned to find him standing next to her. Stubble shadowed his jaw, making her imagine how those whiskers would feel against her skin. More than imagine. She remembered, which was even more dangerous.
“Nana had a big hand in raising me. She and my granddad both.” Her fingers tightened on the coffee. “I spent a lot of time out here, but I’m not sure I appreciated how important her steady presence was for Mom and me.”
“That’s what family is supposed to do for one another,” he said gently. “Both your mom and your nana wanted big things for you, Jen. They wanted all your dreams to come true. As glad as they are to have you back, don’t think for a minute that they expect you to stay.”
“The life I have now wasn’t my dream,” she admitted. “Not until after you ended things and I couldn’t imagine staying in Magnolia without you.”
He lifted a hand and brushed a loose strand of hair away from her cheek. “Sometimes things turn out better than we could have even imagined.”
She searched his gaze, which seemed to be focused on her mouth, and ignored a rapidly pounding heart. There were so many questions swirling through her mind. She didn’t know how to start asking them or if she was ready to hear the answers.
Then Lucas leaned down and kissed her, just a whisper of his lips against hers. The contact sent shock waves reverberating through her. Without thinking—because clearly this was no time for rational thought—she tossed the cup to the ground, wound her arms around his neck and pressed closer. The sound he made in response was somewhere between a groan and a sigh. To her infinite relief, he didn’t pull away.
On the contrary, his mouth molded to hers and he deepened the kiss, exploring her like he wanted to make up for all the years they’d lost. Here was the answer to her unspoken questions. This man and this moment suspended in time in the quiet of the old barn. The embrace was the same and yet different than it had been before, and not only because his shoulders had broadened and the flavor of gum he chewed had changed from mint to cinnamon. Lucas savored her as if he wanted to relish every second of their kiss, like he could hoard the passion flaring between them, a treasure to remember when she was gone.
Gone.
She wrested away from him, stumbling a few steps before righting herself, fingers pressed to her kiss-swollen lips. She had no business kissing Lucas Michaels when she’d be leaving Magnolia in less than a week.
“I’m sorry,” he said immediately, lifting the cap from his head and running a hand through his short hair. “I had no right.”
“No,” she agreed, heart hammering in her chest, “you didn’t.”
“I should go.” He kicked the toe of his boot into the dirt. “At this point I’m—”
“Stay,” she blurted, shaking her head. They’d lost control, but she wouldn’t blame it solely on him. “That kiss was a mistake, but we both made it.”
“A mistake,” he repeated, his tone steely. “Right. It won’t happen again, Jennie.”
She nodded. He’d always called her Jen, not Jennie, so the change told her everything she needed to know. Physical attraction might still flame between them, but nothing more. It was better this way. At least she knew she wasn’t the only one who felt the connection, but they agreed it could go no further.
From that perspective, her questions didn’t matter. Was he happy? Had his life turned out better without her?
Smarter for both of them not to go down that path. It would only lead to heartache and she’d had enough of that the first time he’d broken things off.
“I still could use help with the decorations if you’re willing?” She pasted on a bright smile. “I’ve got lights to string across the barn and paper lanterns to hang as a makeshift chandelier. We’ll arrange pots of spring flowers on the hay bales, and I’m going to make a photo display for one wall with pictures of Nana through the years.” She turned and walked toward the table where she’d stacked the supplies she’d collected from her grandmother’s friends and neighbors. Focus on the task at hand, she told herself. “We don’t have much of a theme other than what an amazing life she’s had and how many lives she’s touched. It won’t b
e lavish.”
A moment later, Lucas joined her. “Your grandmother will love it because you did this for her. It doesn’t have to be perfect as long as it’s from the heart.”
Jennie blinked backed tears at his sweet words. Somehow she knew walking away from Lucas a second time was going to hurt even more than it had before.
CHAPTER SIX
THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON, Lucas was at the farm again, unloading boxes of party supplies from the back of the Bronco. He hadn’t seen Jennie yet and took a moment to watch the leaves of a nearby live oak tree fluttering in the warm spring breeze. April was his favorite month in Magnolia, flowers and trees blooming but before summer’s oppressive heat set in.
He and Jennie used to spend as much time as they could out at the beach during the summer months, riding the waves and baking under the hot sunshine. Now he’d gotten into the habit of putting on sunscreen every morning and wearing sun-protective clothing when he and his dad went fishing. He wondered what Jen would think if he told her about his penchant for safety. The Lucas she’d known had been reckless and carefree, thumbing his nose at planning beyond the best party to attend on any given weekend.
He’d been a quintessential good ol’ boy, and later, after the injury sidelined any possibility of a future, his recklessness had turned to self-sabotage. He still wasn’t sure what Jennie had seen in him in the first place, and he’d been damn lucky she’d put up with his antics as long as she had.
His biggest regret in life wasn’t mouthing off to the defender in that last football game, egging his opponent on with trash talk until the guy had taken a shot at Lucas’s knee. Nope. Lucas saved his remorse for being fool enough to push away the best thing that had ever happened to him, even though he knew he’d made the right choice in the end by letting her go.
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