As he went to snake his arms around her, she quickly stepped back. Lucky knew that if he touched her, she would be in that bed for god knows how long, it maybe hours, it may even be days and that was something she had to avoid. Just looking at his body in a lazy pose stretched under the sheets was too much. What made it worse was the knowing that he genuinely felt the same way, throughout the night she had been finely tuned into both of their emotions. When she reached that pinnacle she had felt it, when he had also reached that high she had felt that too. The combined feeling made for a heady explosion, at times the emotional charge between them had become almost too much, yet she would not change last night for the world, it had been magical.
She laughed at his crest fallen expression. "This time before I leave, we could even exchange phone numbers and do this again." Please let him want to do this again, if her emotions over the last few weeks were anything to go by, she would not be able to take the build-up of sexual tension again.
"How about we do it again now?" Thank god his words told her that he wanted to at least have sex again.
"Ha, ha, why don't you ring me and we can meet up next weekend and do something with, or without a bed."
Ben did not like the sound of this; he would have to wait a week to see her again. Like that was going to happen, neither he nor his wolf could wait that long. For Ben the dilemma was almost too confusing, for he couldn’t let her leave without her knowing about the bond, but he wanted time to get her comfortable with him first. If she left he wouldn’t have that option, this time his wolf would seek her out, there would be no more rest for him.
"Would you listen to an alternative suggestion?" Lucky watched as he got up with a determined expression, his eyelashes fluttering.
"Mmm, maybe." Her instinct was to dive back under the covers and spent eternity in bed with him, so an alternative suggestion sounded intriguing.
Ben knelt on the bed and leaned forward to kiss her, his kisses should be illegal. If things continued at this pace Lucky wouldn't even have time for a shower.
"Well you have to admit that last night was pretty special. There is this amazing chemistry between us." Pleased when she nodded, he continued.
"There is no reason for this to end now. This is going to sound crazy but why don't I drive you home, you can pick up some things and come back here with me."
"As good as that sounds I need to go home, and I have a pretty busy schedule. I am working most of the next week so that won't work for me, even though the idea sounds like heaven." Lucky was starting to gather her clothes up.
Ben could feel his wolf growling inside of him, he did not want her to leave and his wolf had no intention of letting her leave. He felt the wolf fighting for pride of place wanting to take his prey, his woman. Ben wasn't sure what he could do to make her stay, so he did the only thing he could think of, and stood in front of the door. Even as he did it he knew how immature he looked.
"Lucky wait a minute, there is something I need to tell you before you leave, please." What the hell was he supposed to say, where did he start?
Darius' words rang in Lucky's ears, he had told her to listen to Ben. Lucky knew she should be frightened; here he was stood in front of the door acting like some obsessive stalker and was she frightened, not in the least, although she was slightly amused?
"I am listening although I would prefer that you didn’t block the door." Ben moved towards the window.
"Right here goes, how much do you know about wolves?" Lucky could feel his anxiety, her empath skills kicking in, he was nervous, why? What did she know about wolves? Her brain processed his question. As shifters they were strong and dominant creatures. They could also be brutal and unforgiving. The wolves in this area were known to be harsh but fair, strong yet amiable. She knew from her own experiences albeit limited experiences that they were passionate lovers or maybe that was just Ben. They love to hunt but what else?
"I know enough, I think." Lucky wasn’t sure she understood where this was heading.
"When an adolescent male's hormones spike during puberty the wolf inside develops. The wolf has three overriding primary functions, to find food, protect the pack and find a mate. Wolves are highly sexual and have a lot of partners or a better description would be encounters, all in the hope of finding their mate. You see for wolves, it is only during the act of sex that they can identify its mate. When that mate is found they cannot be apart for long, the longer they are apart the stronger they feel the loss, it is only together that they feel whole."
This information imparted by Ben was quite interestingm something she hadn’t known. "Wow, so for the adult male they have a legitimate reason for sleeping around, I am surprised you don't all have crabs or a large number of unhappy pregnant women stood at the gate." There was mirth in the statement, but Lucky realised that she had made a valid point.
"You would be surprised, no I am kidding. We can't catch human diseases, we are actually very healthy, and we can only breed with our mates though even then it can take years."
"Okay, I am not sure what that has to do with me, but I have to go Ben. I'm sorry; I really do want to see you again." Dressed, she knew she needed to leave now. Perhaps this strange conversation which did not seem to be heading anywhere could continue another day.
"Lucky over the last three weeks, how did you feel?" She was trying to find her other shoe, only half listening as she poked her head under the bed pulling it out.
"About what?"
"Me, us, what happened at the club? Let me guess you wanted to forget about me, move on but you couldn't do it. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't stop thinking about me, wanting me. The longer we were apart, the harder it became for you. Last night was the first time you truly relaxed since we met, you felt fulfilled and content. I know that Lucky, because I felt exactly the same way."
Lucky chuckled. "Do you know how arrogant that sounded?" Her words were said in jest however they didn’t take away his continued anxiety.
"I don't think I am doing this right, but hell I don't know what would be the right way. Lucky please tell me how you have been feeling since that first night? I am trying to explain something to you."
"Well I suppose I did think about you occasionally and maybe the feelings didn't go away as I expected them to. It was actually starting to piss me off, I was distracted at home and work which was really not helpful."
"Right, so we both felt it and it didn't go away. Well for wolves; hold on where do you work? No don't answer that question let me come back to that, I need to focus. As I said for wolves part of the reason we have a lot of liaisons, it's during the act we get these intense and protective feelings when we meet our mates. When that happens our instinct is to be close to them, provide for them and protect them at all costs."
Watching him, Lucky thought he looked quite cute when frustrated. "What has this got to do with me?" She had a sinking feeling deep in her stomach, clarity was kicking in and she did not like it one bit.
"Hold on a minute, you don't mean to say that you think I am your mate, and this happened to you that night do you?" She had a sneaky suspicion that he did mean to say this, her suspicion were confirmed when he let out a long and relieved breath.
Lucky however was not relieved, seriously she wasn't anyone's mate; she didn't want to be a mate. Lucky had a life and it didn’t involve need a man. Good sex was one thing but he was talking about something entirely different. He was talking about a path she didn’t want to walk, having walked it once already. Maybe he was mistaken; surely he might have confused her with someone else, even as the words ran through her head, the thought of Ben with someone else enraged her in a way that scared her just a little, particularly as it involved a gun and a lot of pain. This was all too confusing for her.
"I don't think Lucky, I know. Things changed for me that night and I know that you know that. Look I get that this is a shock but…"
"No, no, no, stay out of my way Ben." He did move and Lucky took th
e opportunity to fly past him, heading for the door out of this place which would have worked if she had any idea of where the door was. Her only thoughts were to put some space between them, maybe those feelings were a one-time event. Just the thought of it was too much for her brain to compute and she didn’t want to think about what her heart would tell her.
Lucky had only made it half way down the stairs, when the door opened and in stepped a woman who was just stunning. Standing about 5'5, she had long blonde hair that just fell in loose curls down her back. Wearing a pair of light blue denims and a tank top, she entered like a whirlwind stopping Lucky in her tracks.
"Oh marvellous, I am not too late. I would have come over to meet you last night but was I allowed, no, I was not. Anyway I am here now, I'm Sylvia and you, well you look as if you are going somewhere in a rush." With her hands on her hips Lucky stared in awe, first at the woman's beauty, then at her fierce expression and eyes that seemed somehow familiar.
"Oh he didn't, did he? What did I miss, what has Ben done now? If I had been here last night then we could be past this now?" As she tsked, Lucky wasn’t sure what was happening.
What the hell kind of game was going on here, Lucky now knew that Ben was full of shit with his 'you're the first female I have brought here' and she had fallen for it. Well now she knew, damn she could hear Ben scrabbling around upstairs as he realised that the game was up. The woman just kept talking as though she saw nothing strange about this situation.
"I take it Ben told you about the mate thing, how big a mess has he made? Would it be easier if I explained it all, you know how the mating works? Don’t worry he doesn’t gossip, we are close here at pack. I knew the minute you arrived here, everyone's very excited at him meeting you. I do know how you feel though, the overwhelming feelings, the lack of understanding, and all this new information to digest and then understand."
"Do you really, well you are welcome to him? I am not anyone's mate, he's yours."
Just when she reached the door, Ben came bounding down the stairs. "Lucky wait, don't go just give me a minute to explain. Oh hey mom, what are you doing here? Forget that question. I should just be thankful you managed to wait this long."
Mom, now that he had said it she could see the resemblance, it was the eyes. "What's going on Ben?"
Lucky didn’t wait for Ben to answer. "What is going on is that your son is some sort of psycho who really does need checking into some sort of mental unit. Mate my ass, this is unreal I have only met him twice in three weeks; most men take longer than that to change their underwear."
Lucky was finding it hard to breathe, by the end of her little tirade she had somehow ended up standing near the door. She wanted to leave yet she just couldn't nor could she work out why. She flopped onto the stairs dropping her head in her hands. Ben came and sat next to her, he put his arm around her.
"I am sorry Lucky, I have made a mess of this. I didn't know how else to tell you."
"Please Ben I can't talk to you right now, somehow when you are near my brain goes to mush and logical thoughts don't come easy."
"Benji, why don't you go make some breakfast while me and?"
"Lucky." She realised that Sylvia didn't know her name, Lucky could feel the goodness in this woman; it made her feel all light and bubbly.
"While me and Lucky have a chat, then if she still wants to leave, I will take her home."
"Don’t worry mom, I will take her home myself." Ben was putting his shirt on. She could feel him hurting, the disappointment was not directed at her but at his fear that she would run again. Lucky wasn’t sure what to make of this man.
It was her turn to stand with her hands on her hips, this time looking down at Ben who was still sat of the stairs. "Oh I don't think so Ben. Right now I am thinking that you are some sort of weirdo, and I am so not letting you take me home, no way wolf man." Lucky couldn't give him her address, hell no.
Ben looked at her; she could see and feel the pained expression in his eyes and heart. She knew that he didn't want to upset her and that he truly believed she was his mate, but damn this was too mind blowing to be true.
When he left, Sylvia took his spot next to where she had sat again. "My father married my mother who was a wolf; this meant that the odds of me becoming a wolf were fifty, fifty. It didn’t happen but do you know what, I wasn't sad, my parents loved me regardless. I have three brothers who are all wolves. When I reached about twenty years old, I had decided that it was time for me to branch out and do my own thing. Back in those days religion was a large part of daily life and to blend in our family were part of the Christian Church. I had decided that this was where I wanted to be, and had made it clear to my family that I intended to embark on a career in a nunnery. However fate was about as happy with this as my father. Even though sex before marriage was a no, no in society at that time, it was different within the wolf packs. Sex has always been and will continue to be a large part of our development at the onset of puberty."
Sylvia's voice was soft and soothing; her words had piqued Lucky's interest causing her to listen in rapture.
"Once a year several packs would join and take part in a festival. I think even then we realised that it was hard to find mates within the same pack, so once a year all animosity was forgotten, while people joined in various games and drinking. Two weeks before I was due to leave for the church we travelled to this exact place; Silvers has always owned the biggest holdings in the States. I knew it would be my last gathering, so I wanted to make the most of it. Somehow I ended up spending the night with Leyland, Ben's father. The next day while I was still dealing with a colossal hang over, unbeknown to me Leyland had declared me to be his mate to my parents. By the time I surfaced preparations for the mating rituals were under way."
Lucky looked up, knowing that Sylvia was telling her the truth, she could feel it. She could also feel the immense love for this man Leyland that she spoke of.
"You can imagine my shock, I tried to deny it but in my heart I knew it was true. I had always managed to keep myself out of the serious festivities at the previous events, but for some reason this time I ended up mated. It took some getting used to; Leyland was a fierce but a good leader. He was, no he still is very protective and even though we had a difficult start we have a great life. Ben is a good man and I am very proud of both my boys. He will make a wonderful mate; he has been waiting for you for a long time."
On a big sigh, Lucky turned to this woman who seemed so open to her being part of their life. Ben had her eyes and smile; it was mixing up her thoughts again. How could she be his mate? She needed to make him realise that she wasn't like his mother, a virginal woman on the verge of joining the church, hell a church wouldn't take her even if she wanted join one.
"I need to make Ben see sense, and I need to do it now." She was resolved, she would help him realise she wasn't his mate. Lucky didn’t want to leave it like this, it seemed wrong. She couldn't imagine being with Ben, but thinking about not being with him meant that she had to think about him being with someone else, she didn't like that either. Nor did the thought of him alone sit well with her. What the hell was the solution?
Lucky stood up, feeling determined and actually a little sad. She genuinely liked Ben and there was no doubt they shared some incredible chemistry, but this couldn’t continue. Lucky also realised that no-one had ever made her feel like this before, she would miss him, but it was not fair on him to think of her as his mate.
Striding through the hallway into what she assumed was the kitchen she stopped in her tracks at the sight in front of her. Ben had his back to her, wearing his denims and a shirt that was not even done up, he had an apron pinned to him. He was in front of what could only be the biggest stove she had ever seen making pancakes. How many facets to his person did this man have? He had the ability to mesmerise her, and she meant it when she said that all logical thought deserted her when he was near, it did. She heard Sylvia follow her into the room.
"Is it
safe for me to turn around?"
"Look Ben I have listened to your mom and kind of get this mate thing a little better, but I also know that I am not your mate. I am not some virginal princess who has just been waiting for the right man or wolf to come along."
"I never wanted virginal Lucky, I still don’t." His voice was calm almost a whisper.
"I don't think you get it. How do you expect me to pack up my life and just join yours? It is not that easy, I have a life Ben; I have a house, a job and family. Jesus Ben I have even been married before." Let's see how he liked that one; he would soon change his mind.
Lucky watched his eyes open a little bit wider at the mention of her previous marriage.
"Am I expected to give all of that up, on some feeling you have that I am your mate. What happens in six months when you are bored and some new mate comes along, because believe me if we did this, I would cut your balls off for screwing around on me."
"I don't doubt it but that won't happen. I know you have a life, your house can stay your house and you can do what you want with it, sell it, rent it out, but I need to be here and I need to be with you. As for your job let's come back to that, so far I am thinking that if you get injured at work you are in the wrong job (he was referring to her injured lip again!!), but we can deal with that later. I don't expect you to give up your family; rather you can gain a somewhat large extra one. As for being married you talk in the past tense so can I assume you are divorced?"
Lucky nodded her head, where was his outburst! Why didn't he understand that she was not his mate? "Well then there is no problem."
God she felt like banging her head against a wall, no scrap that, she felt like banging his head against a very hard brick wall. "This is not going to work Ben."
He was coming closer to her. When he got close enough to kiss her, he bent his head and brushed his lips across hers. "Yes it will, we will make it work."
"No we won't."
Silvers Alpha (The Silver Series) Page 9
