by E. E. Holmes
“So, what do we do now?” Phoebe asked in a very small voice.
“Do?” Savvy asked, her voice tight and strained. “There’s nothing to do. This is the part where you tell us to pack our things and leave this castle in the rearview mirror, right? I mean, what is there for us here now? We’ve gone and turned our whole lives topsy-turvy for you people, and now that we’re no use to you anymore, you’re going to chuck us out.”
“No,” Celeste said sternly. “We will do no such thing.”
“And even if you decided that you wanted to leave, I, for one, am forbidding it,” Mrs. Mistlemoore said, folding her arms and looking suddenly quite menacing. “Phoebe has not been discharged, and I have absolutely no intention of discharging her until she is fully fit. In the meantime, there’s much to be understood still about her condition, and how it may improve. It is my wish that she stay and undergo a series of tests, to be spread out over the course of her recovery. If we carefully monitor things, then we may be able to see small improvements, and maybe even a path forward, a way of mending that connection to the Gateway.”
I couldn’t tell if Mrs. Mistlemoore was dangling this possibility of full recovery simply to ease the severity of the blow they had just been dealt, and I didn’t care. Savvy looked very skeptical, perhaps, but Phoebe gave her a small, hopeful smile, like a child who had been told that the world might just contain a tiny hint of real magic. She would cling to it, I knew, and I was just grateful that she had even this shred of hope, whether it had any basis in reality or not.
“Excellent,” Celeste said briskly. “I approve of your treatment plan, Mrs. Mistlemoore. And of course, Savannah, we will need you here as well. It is crucial that we understand the progression of Phoebe’s recovery as it relates to your mutual connection to the Gateway. In the meantime, however, it is imperative that you do not attempt any Crossings. I fear such an experiment could have disastrous consequences, both for you and for the spirits you would attempt to aid. Is that clear?”
“Yes,” Savvy and Phoebe said dully.
“Very good. I am sure that we can find a way to keep you busy, Savannah. The Northern Clans are a complicated operation to run, and we can use all the help we can get.”
Savvy pressed her lips together, as though biting back a rejection of this offer. She looked back and forth between Celeste and Mrs. Mistlemoore, and it became clear from the determined looks on both of their faces that it was not an offer, so much as an order; an order that she would be expected to follow, until further notice.
“Just an idea, Sav,” I said, clearing my throat. Savvy turned to me, her expression surprised, as though she hadn’t even remembered that I was sitting there. I gave her a small, encouraging smile and went on. “You remember that Hannah was looking for some help on a new piece of legislation that she plans to propose to the Council? She thought you might be interested, and I know that she could use the help with the research and compiling her background information.”
Savvy opened her mouth, but whether it was to accept or reject the proposal I never found out. Celeste clapped her hands together and answered for her.
“Excellent!” she exclaimed. “A new project to take our minds off things. That sounds like just the ticket.”
“With your permission, High Priestess, I’d like to get Phoebe back to the hospital ward,” Mrs. Mistlemoore said, getting to her feet and retrieving her clipboard. “She has been out of bed a bit longer than I would have liked, and rest is going to be crucial to her continued recovery.”
“Of course,” Celeste said, nodding her head and smiling at Phoebe, who returned the smile tentatively. “A nice rest, and a bit of time to reflect on what you’ve been told. And then I’ll come to see you again, and we can talk further. Does that sound amenable to you?”
Phoebe’s eyes widened, as though the idea of the High Priestess visiting her for a friendly chat scared the ever-loving shit out of her, but she managed to stammer out, “Y–yes, ma’am.”
“Very good, then,” Celeste said. Then she turned to Savvy. “Savannah, I look forward to seeing you around the castle, and speaking with you further about your role here.” Her eyes glinted with authority as she added, “The spirit world and the Northern Clans are not done with you yet, Savannah Todd. You were chosen for a reason, and that reason, though it has yet to reveal itself, is stronger than ever. Search within yourself, and you will find it.”
For once in her life, Savannah Todd was utterly lost for words. She did not reply or even nod, but instead stood up from her chair and looked at me helplessly, as though awaiting direction.
“Why don’t you go with Phoebe,” I told her. “You can make sure she gets settled, and that she’s comfortable. I’ll come meet you in the hospital wing in a moment, and then you and I are going for a drive.”
Still, Savvy seemed unable to reply, but she did as she was told. As Mrs. Mistlemoore bustled by her, pushing Phoebe’s wheelchair, Savvy turned and followed, not of her own volition, but as though an invisible string were tugging her along, and she lacked even the will to resist its pull.
Once all three of the women had disappeared through the door, I turned back to Celeste. Her face had dropped into her hands, and I could tell that she had barely held herself together until the end of the interview. A dull creeping feeling was sneaking its way up through the tangled mass of anger and frustration that I had built up against her, and it took me longer than it should have to realize that it was pity.
I was actually feeling sorry for the woman who had separated Finn and me. No wonder I usually avoided feelings. I was clearly complete shit at them.
“Are you all right?” I asked her tentatively.
Celeste rubbed her hands against her face and then ran them back through her hair, so that it was pulled tightly away from her face. She looked exhausted. “I have no choice but to be all right,” she said. “And anyway, I’m not the one that anyone should be worried about. I am not the one who has just had my very life’s purpose pulled out from under me.”
“We’ll all stick by her,” I said quietly. “Me, Hannah, Milo, Mackie. She’s tough, Savvy. Resilient. If anyone can bounce back from this, I know it’s her.” The words sounded forced, even in my own ears, because I knew I was saying them as much to convince myself as to reassure Celeste.
“I certainly hope so,” Celeste said. “It took her so long to accept her destiny. So long for me, and for the others to convince her that this was her life’s purpose. How cruel to tear it from her grasp the moment she decided to cling to it. How very cruel indeed.”
“What do you want me to do with this information?” I asked her. “As far as the Trackers go, that is.”
“Well, Catriona will need to be told, of course,” Celeste sighed, shaking her head in an attempt to bring herself back into the present. “But there is one very crucial thing that you must understand.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Under no circumstances can this information ever reach the ears of Charlie Wright, or anyone who may have been in league with him,” Celeste said, and her face was deadly serious.
“Why?” I asked.
“They must never know that one of their experiments, however accidentally, severed a Durupinen from her Gateway. That is a weapon that they must never know they possess, however unwittingly. The devastation that they could wreak…” Celeste suppressed a shudder. “The Durupinen would never recover. The spirit world… the Gateways… all of it could be destroyed.”
She looked up at me. I met her eyes, and a silent understanding passed between us. What happened to Phoebe wasn’t just unfortunate and sad. It had dangerous and far-reaching consequences for all Durupinen the world over if it were ever discovered.
“But how do we stop the word from spreading? People will realize that Phoebe and Savvy are no longer a Gateway,” I pointed out.
“We will find a cover story,” Celeste insisted. “But it is crucial—absolutely crucial—that this information never
leave this castle.”
I nodded. We would keep the secret. We would keep it because we had to.
§
I found Savvy sitting at Phoebe’s bedside, staring down at her now sleeping cousin without really seeing her.
“Hey, Sav,” I said, and though I spoke as gently as I could, Savvy started like I’d shouted in her ear.
“All right?” Savvy asked me, dragging the back of her hand across her face in a half-hearted attempt to wipe away the evidence of tears.
“Come on. Get up. Let’s get out of here,” I told her briskly.
“Huh? What are you on about?” Savvy asked me, frowning.
“We’re going out,” I told her firmly. I held out my hand.
“Out where?” Savvy asked me.
“I don’t care. Anywhere. Anywhere you’ve ever wanted to go. Clubbing. Drag racing. Skydiving. I don’t care. Today the answer is yes.”
“I can’t, mate. Not today,” Savvy said, her voice hollow.
“Yes, today. Right now. Get up,” I ordered, and I wiggled my hand at her. “When you think you can’t, that’s when you have to.”
“Why?”
“Because you heard what Celeste said in there!” I cried. “Don’t let him win, Savvy! Don’t let him take any more from you than he already has. If you despair, he wins. If you crumble, he wins. And if there’s one thing we can’t ever stand for, it’s letting that bastard win!” I was shouting now, but I couldn’t stop myself. Any moment now I was going to wake Phoebe up and Mrs. Mistlemoore was going to swoop down upon me like a bat out of hell and throw me out into the hallway on my ass, but damn it, not before I got Savannah Todd to take my hand.
Savannah blinked, shocked that I was shouting at her. Then her mouth curved into the very slightest of smiles. “Clubbing? You?”
“Kind of weird that you think that’s a more unlikely offer than plunging to the ground from a plane, but yes, I will cover myself from head to toe in glitter and dance on top of a goddamn bar if you ask me to,” I told her. “Just take my hand right now. Because fuck him, Savvy. Fuck him and everything he took from you and everything he ruined. Take it back. Take my hand and take it back from him, goddamn it!”
Savvy hesitated only a moment longer, then reached out and took my hand. Without another word, she stood up and we walked out of the hospital ward, still holding hands.
As the door closed behind us, I reached out into the connection and found Milo and Hannah waiting for me. Completely silently, I conveyed the entirety of what had just happened in our meeting with Celeste. I felt first their surprise, and then their horror, and then their anger and sadness wash through the connection like lapping waves of an incoming tide. And then at last, when they had absorbed it all, I asked, “So? Are you coming?”
“Of course, we are,” Hannah said without a hint of hesitation.
Milo snorted. “Girl, you don’t even need to ask. You had me at glitter.”
9
Confidantes
“RISE AND SHINE, Buttercup!”
Milo’s voice cut through the veil of my sleep as subtly as a fog horn. I turned my head on my pillow and managed to pry open one eye with extreme difficulty. “Begone, evil spirit from hell,” I muttered hoarsely.
“I can’t begone. We’re Bound for life, remember? Two peas in a happy little pod,” Milo trilled.
“Ahem! Excuse me!” came Hannah’s indignant voice from somewhere to my left.
“Oh right,” Milo said. “So, three peas in a pod, then.”
“Oh yeah? Well, get out of my pod before I pry open this Gateway single-handedly and shove you through it,” I muttered. I let my eyelid drop again and tried to find my way back into unconsciousness.
“Sorry, sweetness, but it’s time for you to get up,” Milo said. With a flick of his hand, he used his energy to part the thick velvet curtains that had been drawn across the windows. A ray of sunlight stabbed me in the eye like a cheerful fork.
“Oh, God, why?” I moaned. “The daylight, it burns.”
“Oh, stop being so dramatic,” Milo said, in perhaps the most ironic statement ever to part company with his lips. “You’re hungover, you’re not a vampire.”
True to my word, I’d spent the previous night and the wee small hours of the morning partying my way through Savvy’s favorite hot spots in London. I had promised her to make it a night of “yes.” That is, if she wanted to do it, my answer would be yes, regardless of the absurdity of the request. Was this a foolish decision? Undoubtedly. Would I pay for it for the next week? That seemed likely, based on the intensity of my headache. But I had been on a mission, a mission worthy of the world’s worst hangover, and that was to prove to Savannah Todd that everything would be okay. This mission would obviously take more than a single night to accomplish. But from what I could remember, Savvy had spent the night laughing and smiling and having the time of her life, so that was something. A baby step in the right direction. And we would keep walking, all the way to the mythical Gates of Okayness. Well, she would keep walking. I would evidently be crawling on my hands and knees. I was going to have to find a new route to cheer her up, because I was clearly out of my league.
“Ugh,” I moaned. “I am absolutely never doing that again. The next time I suggest that I can hang with Savvy on the pub scene, just do me a favor and hit me in the head with a lead pipe. It will literally be less painful than this.”
Milo giggled. “I will do no such thing. That was one of the most entertaining nights of my life, and if there’s ever a chance you’re going to repeat it, I am here for it. I’m going to cling to that sweet memory for the rest of my afterlife.”
“Cling away, because that is never happening again.” I said. I may have broken my cardinal rule against excessive drinking once, but I wasn’t about to do it again. I had too much experience watching from the outside, and it wasn’t pretty. I lifted my head just enough to pull the pillow out from under it and then thrust it back down over my face. Somehow, the sunlight still seemed to be reaching me. “That was a one-night-only performance.”
Hannah came over and sat down on the end of my bed. The slight rocking motion of the mattress made my stomach roil. “You are such a good friend,” Hannah told me, in a voice barely above a whisper. “Savannah really needed you last night, and you came through in a big way.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” I groaned into my pillow. I tried to focus on the details of the night, but it was a disjointed mess. “Did I… ride a mechanical bull at one point?”
Hannah let out a quickly stifled giggle. “Well, yeah, you did. Three times, actually.”
“If it’s any consolation, you now hold the bar record for the longest ride while seated backwards,” Milo said, trying and failing to keep a straight face.
“I remain unconsoled,” I said. “Please tell me that was the most embarrassing thing that I did.”
Milo grinned. “I wouldn’t have called it embarrassing. Actually, it was damn impressive. They gave you a blue ribbon and everything, it’s around here somewhere. It was probably my favorite part of the night. Well, either that or when you stole that guy’s cowboy hat and started line dancing on the bar. That was equally phenomenal.”
“I don’t dance. Or wear cowboy hats,” I said scathingly.
Hannah cleared her throat, and pointed to the post of my bed, where a black rhinestone-studded cowboy hat was now perched. “You do now,” she said fighting to keep both her voice and her face under control. “It’s good to try new things.”
“My God, I can’t believe there are people who do this every weekend. How much do you have to hate yourself to wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck?” I whined. When no one answered, I turned to Milo. “Now please tell me why you’re waking me up so early? I mean, other than the fact that you’re a sadist.”
“It’s not early, sweetness. It’s nearly noon,” Milo said dryly. “And we let you sleep as long as we possibly could, but you’ve got to be in Catriona’s office in about
an hour, and we thought you might like to shower some of the essence of mechanical bull off yourself before you headed down there.”
“What? It’s already noon?” I sat up quickly, which was a colossal mistake. The room spun, and the throbbing in my head felt like somebody was crashing cymbals between my ears. “Oh God, I can’t have a meeting now. I’m going to have to cancel it.”
“Good luck explaining that to Catriona,” Milo said. “I don’t think she’ll accept ‘part-time party girl’ as an excuse for missing a Trackers meeting, do you?”
“Not a chance,” I admitted. I tried to pull myself together. “Before I do anything else, I’m definitely going to need…”
Hannah thrust both her hands toward me. In one she was holding a very tall glass of water. In the other, she was holding two extra-strength pain relievers. She smiled knowingly.
“Right. Yeah. That,” I said, attempting to smile at her. I popped the pills into my mouth and chugged the water until it was nearly half gone. I knew it would be a while before my headache began to fade, but at least my mouth no longer felt like a desert landscape.
“Where is Savvy by the way?” I asked, as I eased my legs out from under my blankets. I was still wearing the torn skinny jeans from the night before, and the black sparkly top. I looked up at Hannah, gesturing to the outfit.
“Sorry,” she said apologetically. “We couldn’t get you into your pajamas. You were asleep too fast. It was all we could do to get the boots off.”
“Savvy decided to spend the night at her mom’s,” Milo said. “We dropped her off on the way home. You were already asleep in the car. For all the shit she gives Alice, you could tell she was really glad to see her. Sometimes you just really need your mom, you know?”
