by Erin Zarro
I wouldn't let go.
I began to hum along with him. I didn't know the song he sang, but I tried to follow as best I could. I focused on nothing else except matching my voice with his.
We went on like that for a long, long time. We didn't scream. We were united together, and it somehow kept the pain away.
The flames receded a bit, and I stopped humming. Was it over? Or was it just a short reprieve before the Master killed us?
Before I could think too deeply on that, the flames disappeared.
The Master said, "Well done."
I let out a breath.
By some miracle, Rick and I were barely touched by the flames. But it had felt so real.
Rick nudged me. "We did it. You have a lovely voice."
"Trial by Water to begin now," the Master said. "Prepare yourselves."
Rick made a strangled sound.
"What?" I asked, eyeing the next hooded figure to take position, hands raised.
"I'm terrified of drowning," Rick said. "We're gonna fail. I'm sorry."
He was sorry? Oh, no. No, no, no. "Rick, you can't give up now. You have to deal with it. Otherwise, we're so screwed." My insides churned with fear. Was he really going to give up now? After we'd passed the Trial by Fire? He wasn't going to condemn me to a life of pain and misery, no way. I'd kill him myself before I let that happen.
"We are going to pass," I said through gritted teeth. "And you will remain conscious and you will deal with this. I won't accept anything less."
The hellcat let out a meow, giving Rick a hard look. I didn't know cats could do that.
"See? Even the hellcat agrees with me!"
"But...I can't," Rick protested. "Don't you understand? I'm not capable of doing this. We're done here." He made a movement like he was trying to stand, and I nudged his ribs not-so-gently to stop him. "Leliel, just face it, okay? I'm too weak for this stuff."
"That's funny for someone who didn't die when he was supposed to."
"Huh?" Rick asked.
"Well, you seemed dead but you weren't. Clearly something kept you from going into the light. Or wherever you humans think people go when they die."
"I suppose." Rick shifted, but it didn't look like he was going try to stand again. The hooded figure was watching us closely. "But I've always been afraid of drowning. I can't handle any kind of water –"
"Well, time to do things differently," I said as the hooded guy's hands lit with a blue glow. "I freaking died in a fire and I managed to endure it. If I can, certainly you can, too. I won't let you fail."
Rick's eyes widened. "I'm so sorry, Leliel. I had no idea." He reached for my hand, and I brushed my fingers against his. "I'll try. I promise."
I hoped he meant it. "Thank you. I think it's starting now."
Rick flailed wildly, knocking himself over into the mud. Great. Maybe he was trying to suffocate himself?
"Sit up," I whispered. "It’ll be easier if your mouth isn't covered with mud."
"I can't do this," Rick whispered. "I can't."
"You will," I said. "If it's the last thing you ever do. You promised."
"The Trial by Water will commence now," the Master said. His eyes met mine. In them I could see sadistic glee.
"Wait," I said. "Can you unchain me? These chains are too tight."
Rick looked in my direction, brows furrowed.
"You know that your comfort means nothing," the Master said with a dismissive flick of his wrist. "So, no, I will not remove the chains."
"Damn it," I muttered. Okay, time for Plan B. I scooted as close to Rick as I could, so that we were touching again. To Rick, I whispered, "Keep in contact with my body the entire time. I will try to make it...better. Not as scary."
"How will you do that?"
I wished he could see me, see into my eyes. "I'm going to try to heal you, so to speak."
"I appreciate that, but why? I said I'd do my best," Rick said.
"Partly. But...I care about you. I care that you're terrified and don't think you can handle this. I want to make it more pleasant so we pass. For us both."
Rick's lips curved in a smile. "Thank you, Leliel. That means everything to me."
I nudged him gently. "I got your back."
And waves of water, impossibly high and colder than the coldest ice, washed over us.
Rick screamed.
I held my breath, letting the water surround me.
A choking sound told me that Rick wasn't doing too well.
The hellcat made a choking noise. Talk about solidarity – she could have – should have – left us to our fate. Instead, she was taking the torture with us.
I wasn't even sure I could heal Rick. But I had to try. Through the cold and the lack of oxygen, which was doing weird things to my head, I summoned my healing energies.
They were weak, waterlogged. But they were there, and they could be used.
Miracle of miracles, Rick and I were still touching.
The waves receded a bit, and I took a deep breath.
Rick spat out water.
No time like the present.
I sent my healing energies into him, filling his body with warmth and light. As I did my work, I could feel what he felt – fear. Awe. Anger. Comforted. Me. He felt...something...for me.
I didn't delve too deeply into that.
"You okay?" I whispered.
He smiled. "More than okay. That...feels good."
"Awesome," I said. The hooded figure lifted his hands again. "Get ready. It's happening again."
And so it went, on and on, wave upon wave of water, cold and wet. Rick screamed, and choked, and I struggled to keep the healing energies going, to keep him calm and lucid.
Hell, I struggled to keep myself calm and lucid.
I also sent a few calming thoughts to the hellcat.
I could never get a deep breath. My mind was fuzzy from lack of oxygen. My lungs burned for air. Dizzy...
I let go of the healing energies.
Cold, so cold. Wanted to lie down, let the water take me far away...
"Leliel!"
Just float away...in a tomb of ice...
"Leliel!"
What was that noise?
I tried to ignore it, sink deeper into myself, when something pulled me upward.
"Leliel, don't you die on me! Leliel!" Slaps on my cheeks. Someone was shaking me. My head bobbed up and down, up and down...
A wet nose poked my cheek.
I opened one eye.
Rick! And the hellcat!
He looked...the fury in his blind eyes...Rick...
The hellcat gave me a pleading look. As if she didn't want me to die, either. Crazy cat.
I swallowed water. Choked. Tried to breathe.
Rick held me. His hands surrounding me, giving me strength. Keeping me from drowning.
"Rick?" I asked, touching his cheek. "What the hell...what happened?"
Rick frowned in my direction. "You almost drowned, Leliel. I lost you." His voice cracked. "I couldn't see you, but I could feel you...inside." He touched his chest. "Right here. And I couldn't lose you."
Tears filled my eyes. No one – well, no one besides my parents – had ever given a crap about whether I lived or died. Or drowned. The feeling in his voice, the look in his eyes, nearly unraveled me.
This wasn't just gratitude for me trying to save him from a horrific fate. It was more.
"Thank you," I said softly. "Thank you for saving me."
The hellcat began licking my cheek. Then she stopped and sat on my lap.
Rick's fingers reached out for my cheek, feather-light, and then his lips brushed there. "It was my pleasure."
"Reaper Girl, you have caused a bit of stir here," the Master said.
I jumped. I'd forgotten about him, the Trials...staying conscious...crap!
I glanced at Rick, and remembered he couldn't see me. I squeezed his hand instead.
"Um, what do you mean?" I asked, going for innocent.
&
nbsp; "Do not play with me, Reaper Girl. You know you lost consciousness during the Trial, which means – "
"She did not lose consciousness," Rick said. "I was with her the entire time and we were in constant communication."
Were we, or was he trying to save us? I didn't care. As long as we passed the Trials.
"That's right," I said, squaring my shoulders. "I had a close call, yes, but I never lost consciousness."
"Hmm," the Master murmured, gesturing for the hooded figures to join him. They got into a huddle and talked. Or argued. I wasn't sure.
"Nice save," I said, nudging Rick's ribs gently.
His eyes widened. "That wasn't a save. It was the truth. You were inside me somehow. I can't explain it."
"All right, we have come to a decision," the Master said, moving toward us. "One of you must retake the Trial by Water. Alone."
"I'll do it," Rick said, glancing in my direction.
My heart jumped in my chest. "Hell, no! You're terrified of water! Let me do this!"
Rick grabbed wildly for my hands. He took them, squeezing tightly, his thumbs stroking my fingers. "I'm doing this because I need to face my fear. I'm not asking you, Leliel. I'm telling you. I'm doing this."
My heart hurt for him. I understood, but really didn't want him to do it alone. Not without me. But that was the point, right? Divide and conquer? Cause us to fail in other ways?
Someone once said that the Underworld was one big mind screw.
That was the understatement of the century.
I drew in a breath. "Okay, if you feel you need to. I'm right here." I touched his heart. "I'll be watching you." And praying for him, but I'd never say that aloud.
"Thanks, Leliel. I'm coming back to you, you know." His lips curved in a smile. "Wait for me."
I put my hands on his shoulders, savoring his warmth, the life inside him. And would mourn it when it went away. "Always."
As I hobbled away, I saw the hellcat following him.
"Prepare yourself," the Master said.
A hooded figure stretched his glowing palm out.
Rick took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and let himself fall to the ground.
I gasped. What the hell?
"Leave him," the Master said. "You must not interfere."
"What if he's – "
"I said, no interference, Reaper Girl."
I shut my trap. Hoped he was okay.
And then the onslaught of water hit him.
Water surrounded him, covering him like a shroud. I couldn't see him, and that worried me. I could hear him choking, though, and my chest constricted.
Why did he do this? I wasn't afraid of it. I could have handled it.
"The man cares deeply for you," the Master said, almost conversationally. "He thinks of you even now, Reaper Girl. It is what is keeping him sane."
"But he barely knows me," I protested. "And I took his soul. He should hate me."
"He does not," the Master said, eyeing the water as it crested in a wave, then receded. I could finally see Rick.
Pale, his hair soaking wet. His eyes turned to the sky. Or maybe looking inward? Thinking of me?
Without realizing what I was doing, I hobbled in his direction.
He grimaced. Choked. Took deep breaths.
"Reaper Girl," the Master warned. "Do not engage."
I turned around to face him. "I'm not doing anything but getting a bit closer, okay?"
"You must not interfere," the Master said.
"I won't." I turned back to Rick. His face distorted in pain. Waves rushed over his body...and did not recede this time.
And the hellcat...she wasn't moving...
A jolt of fear stabbed me.
Was this it? Was he going to drown? Was the hellcat dead?
Clouds blotted out the sunlight, and the wind picked up. So cold. I wrapped my cloak around me, hugging myself.
Rick was in far worse pain than I.
I didn't take my eyes off of where Rick was supposed to be. And the hellcat. I was convinced that if I stood vigil, they would be okay.
You put him there, a voice inside me said. You screwed up. And now he's paying for it.
It was true.
I was the reason he was here, in the Underworld, fighting not to drown.
"Just hang in there, Rick, okay? Just hang on," I said. He couldn't hear me, but it made me feel like I was doing something. "It's almost over. Stay calm."
"I believe he may hear you, Reaper Girl," the Master said. "And that would count as interference. But he is remarkable. No one has lasted that long."
I still couldn't see him. But I could feel him, deep inside, like a second heartbeat. He was alive, and he was conscious and –
It's because of you, he whispered. I'm fighting to get back to you, Leliel.
Tears filled my eyes. He cared for me.
"Enough," the Master said, making a frustrated gesture with his hand. "We shall continue with the Trial by Earth. Prepare yourselves."
Suddenly, the water vanished, leaving a very wet Rick in front of me.
The hellcat, wonder of wonders, twitched. She came back to consciousness slowly, yawning and shaking herself off. It filled my heart with warmth to see her alive.
I didn't hesitate – I hobbled to Rick, even though my ankle still hurt. I touched his cheek, his chest, sending him healing energies. "Rick, it's over," I said softly, my vision blurred through my tears. "It's over. You did it." I glanced at the hellcat. "And you just keep amazing me, little one. Thanks."
But Rick wasn't waking up.
"Rick?"
I glanced up to see the Master hovering over me. He frowned. "It appears your friend has lost consciousness."
"But he was fine until now," I said, unable to resist touching him again. "Maybe he's in shock due to the cold?"
The Master's eyes darkened with sadness. I'd never seen that happen. "Leliel, I do not believe he is simply too cold. I believe the change has happened."
Of course. He was losing himself, becoming a Reanimate.
I took his hand in mine. "It's too soon. We have more time. We have to..."
"Some take longer than others," the Master said gently. Another first. "I believe his feelings for you kept him tethered longer than he would have lasted without them. But you know and I know that there is only one outcome."
Tears fell down my cheeks. "No. There has to be a way. Just let me – " My heart, if I ever had one, snapped in two.
I thought about it. I hadn't particularly liked Rick at first, but he'd grown on me. Especially that whole thing with the hellcat. Now he'd found a friend. And I had to grudgingly admit that I was kinda sorta starting to like her, too. Oh, all right. I was starting to care about her.
It couldn't end like this.
Rick's eyes darted beneath his eyelids. What was it they said about that, about humans? That they...what? Gods, my mind was mush. Like trying to filter a tiny pebble from hundreds of rocks. It just...wasn't there.
I pulled at my hair, making a wordless sound of frustration.
And then it was there. Humans dreamed. And their eyes moved beneath their eyelids.
Rick was dreaming.
Or, maybe having a nightmare.
If he was cognizant of what had happened, he really was in hell now.
And I had to get him out.
I turned to the Master as the sky opened up and pummeled us with rain. "Let me complete the Trial by Spirit." It was by far the most difficult Trial, and insane, but I needed to do this – for the both of us. "I'm going to save him."
"This is foolishness," the Master said. "But I must allow you the opportunity."
I inclined my head to him. "Thank you, Master."
"Are you positive you can endure the Trial by Spirit?" the Master asked.
I met his gaze. "I believe this is my test, Master. This is what I'm supposed to do." I closed my eyes, picturing Rick as I'd met him – fully himself, soul intact, his piercing blue eyes undoing me.
I had to get him out of there. Had to.
"You may be right, Reaper Girl," the Master said. "Are you ready for the Trial by Spirit?"
I gave the Master a winning smile. Inside I was about to puke. "Of course."
"Stand over here," the Master said, pointing to a tree. "This is where it begins."
I took a deep breath.
"Are you sure you want to continue? Once I begin, I cannot stop it."
I had to do this. For Rick.
"I'm doing this," I said, kicking up my chin. I would go down fighting. At least Rick would have a chance.
The hellcat meowed at me. I looked down; she was sitting beside me. Solidarity.
"All right, let us begin," the Master said.
Wind swept past me, cool and soft. The sky was dark, sullen gray. My head felt ready to split open from resistance pain.
I kept an eye on the Master.
He raised his hands, and a blinding light flared. I squeezed my eyes tight.
I hung suspended in time, weightless and without purpose.
Minutes – or maybe hours – later, I opened my eyes.
I was no longer near the tree. The hellcat was gone. I stood in front of the house where I grew up centuries ago. It was just as I remembered it. Small, comfortable, homey. The huge birch tree I loved to sit under and read. And nap. Or just watch the world go by.
The memories choked me up, made my chest hurt. I pressed my fist against my heart. Those were perfect, beautiful days.
Until my mother died.
Instinctively, I knew what I was doing here. I knew what had to be done.
But damn it, I couldn't. I couldn't relive it. It would destroy me.
I watched as the sun went down, giving way to a starlit night. Cool breeze, fireflies flitting by. The sound of a frog and crickets chirping.
Not quite summer yet.
I could almost feel the imprint of my devastation in the air.
"You know what must happen today," the Master whispered in my ear, making me jump.
I shivered. Stood tall and straight and unafraid.
Oh, who the hell was I kidding?
I walked toward the house. My bare feet moved on their own, drawing me closer and closer to the scene where it happened all those years ago.
My mind rebelled. It didn't want to do this again, feel it again. But I had no choice.
Like a sleepwalker, I walked to the front door. The doorknob was cold, like ice. I opened the door, walked inside.
