by Nikki Ashton
“Auntie Ruby,” Bonnie scolded. “They’ve only just got together, do not be putting pressure on them.”
“I ain’t,” she protested. “I’m just asking.”
“Mom’s right, Auntie Ruby,” Jesse said, rubbing a hand rhythmically up and down my arm. “We’re only just figuring things out. Let’s see what the next ten months bring before anything is decided.”
“Ah bilge,” she retorted with a wave of her hand. “I’m guessing you have great sex, you’ve just said she’s made the pain go away. Don’t see what the damn problem is. Dillydallying never won anyone nothing.”
“Auntie Ruby,” Ted said in his rich, deep voice. “Leave them be and listen to Bonnie when she says no pressure.”
“Ah whatever,” she scoffed. “I’ll be home soon anyways, so I won’t have to listen to all your shedaddle nonsense.”
“What the fuck does shedaddle mean?” Garratt whispered to me and Jesse.
“Damned if I know,” Jesse answered.
“Okay,” Ted said, clearing his throat. “I’m pleased for you both, I am, but what about Addy?”
I stiffened on Jesse’s lap and held my breath. Addy was who I worried about the most. She’d already lost her mother at such a young age, and I didn’t want her to think I was going to join the family only for things not to work out between Jesse and me and Addy lose me, too.
“That’s what I need to talk to you all about,” Jesse said. “I want to tell her, I don’t want any secrets between us, but I’m worried it might confuse her.”
I turned to look at him, and could see the concern etched in his features.
“It’s not that I don’t think she’ll be happy, because I do,” he continued. “But this is new to me, shit being in a relationship with someone other than…” he checked himself, coughed and then carried on. “Being in a relationship is all new to me, and I may just mess this up, no matter how hard I try not to, and if that happens I’m worried it will hurt Addy as much as when Melody died. She was so young then, she had no idea what was going on. Now, she’s older and she’s bright and she loves Millie, so you can see how I’m struggling with what’s right.”
I put my hand on Jesse’s at my waist and held it tightly, wanting him to know that I supported him and whatever decision he made. Jesse leaned forward and dropped a gentle kiss to my shoulder, making me sigh inwardly.
“Well,” Ted said, putting an arm around Bonnie. “I for one think, while it’s a risk, it would also give that little girl some joy. I have a good feeling about you two, but if it doesn’t work out, we’ll all be here for Addy. Plus, you can’t sneak around for the next ten months hoping she doesn’t find out. Shit, you’ve been downright bad at it for a few weeks, and that child is sharp, she’ll figure it out herself.”
I stared up at Ted in astonishment, and then looked at Bonnie.
“No, honey, I didn’t tell him. He figured it out for himself.”
“The fact that I saw you both sneaking to Jesse’s cabin kinda gave it away,” Ted laughed. “Shoulda just said you wanted some alone time.”
“Maybe they won’t mind me fucking you in your bed after all,” Jesse drawled quietly into my ear, setting off a daisy chain of goose bumps over my skin.
“Well,” Bonnie sighed. “I’m real pleased for you both. But if he doesn’t treat you right, honey, then you come and tell me.”
Bonnie’s twinkling smile lit up her face and the honesty in it calmed me.
“You’re really okay about this?” I asked, earning me a squeeze at the waist from Jesse.
“Hey,” he growled. “This is our decision.”
“I know,” I said, turning to him. “But I care what your family thinks. I’m an employee, after all, and if this is going to be awkward, me working with Addy and being with Jesse, then I’d rather someone say. That way we can try and work something out.”
“Well?” Jesse demanded. “Does anyone have a problem? Not like I care whether you do, but Millie does, so tell me now.”
“Ah chill, Jess,” Garratt grumbled, knocking Jesse’s knee with his own. “The only problem I have is that my friend is probably going to be too wrapped up with you to want to spend time with me now.”
Garratt pouted sulkily and sighed.
“Garratt, you know you’ll always be my favorite Connor boy,” I joked.
Garratt grinned and winked. “Yeah I knew that, just wanted to hear you tell Jesse. Keep him in his place, you know.”
“I dated brothers once,” Ruby chipped in. “Damn beautiful they were. When girls saw me on both their arms they was green with envy.”
“Both at the same time?” Bonnie cried, holding a hand to her chest.
“Yep, what’s wrong with that?” Ruby asked, perplexed.
“But you were only seventeen when you met Uncle Samuel. So, you’re saying you dated two brothers, at the same time when you were what…sixteen?”
Bonnie’s mouth gaped as she stared at her aunt. Ted looked decidedly uncomfortable and Garratt was looking at Ruby with a new found respect.
“Fifteen actually,” she replied, nonchalantly. “Way I see it, you gotta try the bath water before you step in Bonnie; you need to know how hot you want it.” Ruby cackled and wheezed, waving her hands in the air at the look of horror on Bonnie’s face. “Shit, sometimes your ass is so tight I think I hear it squeaking, girl.”
“Oh my God,” Jesse groaned. “I do not want to think about Auntie Ruby dipping her toe in the waters of sex.”
“Hey, cowboy,” she cried, pointing a finger at him. “You youngsters didn’t invent sex you know. Them fancy positions of yours have been going for years, long before you got your pecker wet for the first time. Not much I ain’t tried.”
“Please, no,” Garratt spluttered. “I think my dick just shrivelled up and died.”
Jesse and I burst out laughing while Bonnie scuffed her youngest son across the back of the head.
“Ruby!” Ted warned with a small smile twitching at his lips. “Let’s not, hey.”
“Ah, whatever, I’m going to bed.”
She flicked the button on the side of the recliner, lowering her feet to the floor. Holding her gnarled old hands out to Ted, she huffed as he pulled her to her feet.
“Now,” she said, nodding at Jesse and me. “You keep the noise to a minimum. I don’t want to have to listen to you two going at it. Bad enough hearing your mom and dad early this morning.”
“Ruby!” Ted growled.
“Oh damn it, Auntie Ruby,” Garratt whined. “Now my balls have gone, too.”
“I’m with you there, brother,” Jesse moaned, burying his face in my neck.
“Go to bed, now!” Bonnie barked at Ruby, pointing towards the stairs. “And we’ll talk about your behaviour tomorrow.”
“Ah, go shove a finger up your tight ass, Bonnie.” Ruby waved her away, and with a wink, went to bed.
“Well,” Ted sighed. “I think we all need a drink after that.”
“I need hypnotherapy to make me forget,” Garratt replied, giving himself a little shake.
“Make mine a large brandy, sweetie,” Bonnie said with a shake of the head. “That woman will be the death of me.”
“Ah, she’s okay,” Jesse replied. “She’s old Mom, let her have her fun.”
“Shit!” Garratt said, flopping his head back on the couch. “You really have done a number on my big brother, Millie. He’s being nice to everyone. Oof,” he moaned, as Jesse nudged him in the ribs with an elbow. “Well, maybe not everyone.”
“You want a drink, Millie?” Ted asked, ignoring his sons.
“Nope,” Jesse replied, before I could open my mouth. “We’re going up.”
He pushed up from the couch, gently lowering me to the floor, stooped to kiss Bonnie, who was now in the recliner, and pulled me towards the stairs.
“Shit. Mom, do we have any earplugs?” I heard Garratt ask as Jesse smacked my behind, urging me up the stairs.
Jesse
This m
orning when I woke, I felt lighter than I had in two whole years, and it was all down to the beautiful woman sleeping in the next room. Despite what everyone, particularly Garratt, might have thought, when it came down to it, I couldn’t disrespect either Millie or my parents by fucking her in her bed until I’d spoken properly to Mom and Dad about it. Plus, I wanted to tell Addy first before she accidently found us together.
Like the decent man my folks had always hoped I’d be, I left Millie at her bedroom door, with a long kiss. A kiss that left me with a boner for a damn long time, but it had been the right thing to do. That didn’t mean though that once all those conversations had been done, I wouldn’t be spending the night with her, because I would. Now I’d finally admitted how I felt, I wanted to sleep with her wrapped around me.
First off, though, I was about to have a little chat with Addy. We were in the barn checking on the calves that were going to be castrated. I’d asked her to come with me, and while she’d jumped up and down in excitement, I’d seen the look of worry on Millie’s face. Personally, well I didn’t think she had cause to be concerned, but Millie loved Addy and it would kill her if she hated the idea.
“When do they go back outside to their friends?” Addy asked, stroking the head of one of the calves.
“Couple of days, baby.”
I rubbed a hand across her head and looked down at her as she let the calf lick her fingers.
“Do their momma’s come, too, so they don’t miss them?”
“Their momma’s come so that they can feed them, but I guess they’d miss them if they didn’t.”
I knew that this was my opening, so I took a deep breath, suddenly nervous at how my four year old might respond to my news.
“Do you miss your momma?” I asked, crouching down next to her.
Addy turned and looked at me, her huge blue eyes staring out at me from her beautiful, cherubic face. She bit on her bottom lip and turned back to the calf.
“Hey, I’m sorry. It doesn’t matter.” I took her little hand in mine and rubbed it gently. The last thing I’d wanted to do was upset her.
“I don’t know, though, Daddy,” she whispered. “I think I do, but I don’t remember her.”
“Well, you were only a baby when she went to heaven, so that’s okay.”
She turned back to me and tears were now brimming against her lashes. “Did she do lots of things with me?” she asked, a tiny break in her voice.
I flicked through my memories, trying to recall those of Melody as a mother.
“She used to make your breakfast and wash your hands and face after because you were such a messy eater,” I replied with a huge smile.
“What else? Did she read to me?”
No, she didn’t, I did.
“Well, I liked reading to you, like I do now. That was my special time with you.”
Addy grinned and kissed my nose. “And Millie.”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “And Millie.”
“Did she do my bath?”
No, she didn’t, I did.
“You know, that was my special thing, too.” I shrugged and laughed.
“You still like to do that now, so does Millie. But,” she said coming closer to my ear. “Your bath time is more fun. You let me have more bubbles, but don’t tell Millie, it would hurt her feelings.”
I swallowed the lump caught in my throat as I watched Addy’s earnest little frown.
“I won’t, baby.”
“So, what did my momma do with me, Daddy?” Addy folded here arms and cocked her head to one side.
Absolutely nothing. Either I did it or Mom did. The thought hit me in the middle of the chest with the force of a rampaging bull. Other than feed Addy and stick her in front of the TV, Melody did nothing for our child.
“She liked to take you shopping,” I lied. “Girls like shopping.”
“Not me,” she replied with a shake of the head. “I get bored when Granma takes me shopping.”
“Well, maybe next time she goes you should ask her if you can stay home with Millie,” I suggested.
“Oh, that’s okay,” Addy replied, turning back to the calf that was desperate for her attention. “Millie comes, too, sometimes and she makes it fun.”
“She does, hey? How?”
I watched the calf as it licked out its tongue and desperately tried to get to Addy. Once it succeeded, Addy giggled and wiped her hand on her jeans.
“We look for pairs of things, and we do numbers and she lets me read Granma’s list and sometimes, if Granma needs a lot of supplies, we go to the library. She’s real fun.”
Addy gave me a huge smile and my heart melted, not only for her but for Millie, too. She was more of a mother than Melody ever was. Yeah, she was being paid to do a job, but she made sure my baby was happy while she did that job.
“You like, Millie, baby?”
“Yes, of course I do,” she replied, pouting at me. “That’s a silly question, Daddy.”
“I guess it is.” I laughed and hugged her to me. “How would you feel if Daddy took Millie on a date?”
Addy spun around and stared at me, her eyes bugging out comically. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” I rubbed her head and let out a deep breath. She seemed happy enough by that.
“Are you going to give her your heart?” she asked, excitedly jumping up and down. “Please, Daddy,” she squealed. “Give her your heart. I can get it for you. Let’s go now.”
She grabbed my hand and tried to pull me to my feet, almost dragging me over, she was so forceful.
“Hey, wait,” I said, pulling her into my arms. “I think that might a little premature.”
“What does that mean?” she asked, the pouty frown back.
“Well…” shit she was so bright that I sometimes forgot that she was just a baby. “It means that I like Millie and she likes me, but we’re just good friends. She’s not ready to have my heart yet.”
“Not like Miss Cynthia and Tommy Kincaid?” she asked dejectedly.
I really wanted to say, ‘yeah, just like Miss Cynthia and Tommy Kincaid’, but I knew it was too soon. I’d only just come to terms with my feelings, and they still scared me, so there was a damn good chance that I’d fuck this up. Rushing things with Millie would only hurt her and Addy if I made a hash of it.
“Baby, giving your heart to someone is a real important thing to do. You have to be sure that they want it and won’t give it back, otherwise you just get upset.”
“Millie wouldn’t give it back,” Addy argued. “She’d keep it, because when that man gave hers back to her it made her cry, and she wouldn’t do that you.”
Maybe she wouldn’t, but what if I couldn’t get it back from Melody in the first place? There was no way that I could give Millie half of my heart; she deserved more.
“I know that, Addy. Millie tries not to upset anyone, she’s a good person.”
“So give her your heart!” she cried, tugging on my shirt.
“Addy, sweetheart, maybe one day, but just now we’re going to be real good friends. I just want to be sure you’re okay with that. I mean, you may see us kissing, or holding hands. How would you feel about that?”
Addy looked at me as thought I was the dumbest of all dumb animals.
“You said you were just friends but you said I might see you kissing.”
“You might, is that a problem?”
Addy shook her head. “No, Daddy. But when you kiss someone that means you love them.”
She looked so confused, it was comical. Addy and her idealistic viewpoint on love.
“It can mean you care about them…a lot.”
“Do you care about Millie a lot?” she asked.
“Yeah baby, I do.” I let out a sigh, the words a balm to my fears. “I really care about Millie.”
“But you don’t love her?”
“No,” I laughed. “Not like that.” Not yet, but I was damned close.
Addy shook her head. “You’re silly, Daddy.”
“How so, baby?”
“Because you said you don’t love her,” she breathed out exasperated. “You want to kiss her, you always smile when she’s around, and you watch her all the time. Just like Tommy Kincaid does with Miss Cynthia and he took her heart when she gave it to him.”
I’d heard from Mom that Addy had insisted that they took Cynthia her heart. The whole town knew about Addy’s little tradition and had bought into it. The thing was, most of the time she was right about who people should give their heart to. Who the fuck thought one town would rely on the match-making skills of a four year old?
“Okay,” she sighed. “If you’re not ready, I’ll save it, but don’t wait too long, Daddy.”
“Why’s that, baby?” I asked, standing up with her in my arms.
“Because if you don’t give her yours, Uncle Brandon might.”
That thought made my guts do some sort of flip with a twist thrown in. Pulling Addy closer, I kissed her head and took a deep breath. Brandon was another conversation that I needed to have, and the sooner the better.
Millie
Jesse and I had been ‘a thing’ for a couple of days, and we still hadn’t told Brandon, something that had been playing on my mind greatly. I had wanted to speak to him the day after my ‘hissy fit’ as Jesse had called it, but Jesse wanted to speak to Addy first. Thankfully, Addy had taken it well; in fact, as soon as she saw me, she squealed and ran into my arms telling me that her daddy was taking me on a date. And so, here we were, going out on our date. Jesse was taking me into town. He’d wanted to go into Knightingale to some fancy restaurant, but I’d put my foot down and told him the diner and Rowdy’s was perfectly fine. Brandon was out of town for a couple of weeks, on some business for his parent’s guest ranch, so there wasn’t any chance we’d bump into him. It did worry me, though, that someone else may tell him before we had the chance, so Jesse promised to do it as soon as Brandon got back.
“I’m not happy taking you there when that’s where you went with Brandon,” he grumbled, lifting the diner menu to read it.
“Oh, stop being a grump,” I giggled. “I told you, you’re not driving into Knightingale when you have to be up so early tomorrow. You’ve got all those calves to castrate, so you’ll need to be rested.”
