I was embarrassed and ashamed, but I knew I needed to apologize. I squeaked out an apology, and the woman who patted me smiled kindly at me. Then she turned and said,
—John, couldn’t we untie him now? He doesn’t look like he’ll hurt anyone.
John agreed, and the older of the two teens came over and untied me. He asked me my name, but when I told them it was Ben, they all looked startled and a little suspicious. I found out later that the dog’s name was also Ben and that Doug had shot him as well, luckily just nicking him in the shoulder. The mom—Lauren—made a joke about it being a good thing that the guy was a bad shot, and I couldn’t help but smile a little with relief that Doug hadn’t seriously injured anybody.
The boy who had untied me told me his name was Bracken and that I could stay in his room. He gave me some of his clothes to wear and let me clean up a little in the bathroom. I couldn’t believe they still had warm running water, although not quite enough water pressure to take a full shower. Bracken told me they had made a solar hot water heater and a special kind of pump to bring water in from the well. After months of sleeping on the ground with just a few blankets to keep warm, I couldn’t believe how comfortable the bed was and how warm the house was. Clearly, this family was surviving better than the people living in cities; they had heat, shelter, clothing, plenty of good food, and even running water.
That night, before exhaustion finally took over my brain and body, I told Bracken a little bit about my experiences in the city, leaving out any reference to Sara, of course. I felt like I owed this generous family an explanation as to why the guys and I were trying to steal from them. Bracken seemed to not only understand, but to feel sorry for me. I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone to feel sorry for me, least of all the people I had tried to rob.
Right before going to sleep, I asked Bracken what day it was. When he answered April 13th, I had to smile at the irony. Of course. On my unlucky birthday I almost get electrocuted, and my friend shoots an innocent man and his dog.
Chapter 29
Life on the Farm
I decided not to tell Bracken it was my birthday. After the suspicion caused by my name being the same as their dog, I figured the coincidence of it being my birthday was just too great to be believed, so I told Bracken that my birthday was in five days and that I would be turning 16. He offered to teach me how to drive even though there was no gas to get anywhere, and I told him I’d like that. I had no intention of staying there that long, of course, but it made us both feel better to end that awful day on a bright note.
Early the next morning, I crept out of Bracken’s room and quietly made my escape. I wasn’t sure where I was planning to go, but I hoped to catch up to the guys to make sure they were okay and to continue our journey north. Apparently I wasn’t as quiet as I’d thought, because Bracken caught up to me as I was leaving the yard. He grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around to face him.
—Hey, where’re you going?
—I don’t know. Just going.
—Why? You can stay here. Don’t you want a home to live in?
I thought about that for a moment. What if I couldn’t find the guys? What if they had already left the area, thinking I was dead, pushing harder than ever to get to Omaha? I was forced to think about what it was in Omaha that I wanted and it all came down to this, a home, and here was a home—a nice home with a nice family—being offered to me like it was on a silver platter. But why would they?
—Yeah, more than anything. But why would you guys want me? You don’t owe me anything.
Bracken sounded perturbed when he answered.
—It’s not about owing anybody anything. You need a place, and we’ve got a place. And plenty to feed you too. Besides, you’re just a kid. We want you to stay.
I was tired. Tired of arguing, tired of traveling, tired of trying to survive. What Bracken offered me was so tempting, but I was also scared. I had promised myself not to get close to anyone, but I could see myself really getting close to this family. I longed for a mother and a father to take care of me. I longed for doting grandparents to love me unconditionally. I realized that I was jealous of Bracken, of his life and his family. I wanted it so badly, but I was scared of losing everything again. I started crying tears of longing, of sadness, and of shame. Bracken pulled me close and comforted me, and I craved that closeness, the acceptance that the guys had given me. If they were indeed gone, maybe I could find it with Bracken, and everything else I desired here with his family. Finally, I gave up and let Bracken lead me back inside.
Later that morning, while I savored a delicious breakfast and watched this happy family who seemed almost oblivious to the hardships of much of the rest of the world, I began to worry about the guys. What if one of them was shot and was lying out there, bleeding to death? The guys had become like older brothers to me, and I knew they were kind and generous, really good people. I was scared to bring up the subject, though, worried that the bad feelings Bracken’s family held for Doug would spill over to me and I’d be kicked out of the house. Maybe that would be better, I thought. Maybe I deserved to be. So I decided to ask.
—Do you think you shot any of the guys I was with last night? I just don’t want them to be lying out there bleeding to death. They’re really not bad guys; they took care of me after my parents died.
John, the dad, looked a little pissed off, but he answered nicely enough.
—Well, they ran off and left you hanging there. But don’t worry; we shot over their heads. We just wanted to scare them off, not hurt them. Alex and I’ll go down there and check around later just to be sure.
Alex was Bracken’s older brother, the one whose ear had been shot, and the pretty girl with copper-colored hair, who had been clinging to him the night before, was his wife, Robin. They made a cute couple and were pretty nice to me even though I had caused them so much pain and heartache.
Later in the day, two cute girls rode up to the house on horses. I had never been so close to a horse and I had certainly never ridden one, but one of the girls, named Jenny, let me ride double with her. The weather was warm and sunny, the girls good company, and for a while I was able to mask the pain in my heart and bury the haunting memories of the city. It was almost like that part of my life had been a dream, and I was just now waking up to reality. My old nemesis Time decided to play nice and let me enjoy the afternoon, stretching it out slowly and deliciously, so I could pretend to be happy and normal for a while.
Bracken’s girlfriend, Skylar, was a beautiful girl about the same size that Sara had been, but with light brown hair. Something in the way she talked and looked at Bracken reminded me of Sara, and I realized that I kept staring at her longingly because every time I did, Bracken would glare at me. Later that night, Bracken warned me off her just in case I didn’t understand that she belonged to him and that he intended to marry her. I hadn’t meant to threaten their relationship or to steal her away from him. It’s just that I felt myself drawn to her like hapless waves to a comforting shore. After that, I made more of an effort to control my emotions when I was around her.
For the next two weeks, I tried to fit in to the family, helping with household chores and various farm projects. I tried to please Lauren and John to show them my gratitude and that I was worth their trouble, but when they weren’t around my heart just wasn’t in it. They reminded me of my parents and I so desperately wanted a relationship like that with them, but I knew in my heart it would never be the same; that stage of life was over for me now. I had been too long without parents to care for me; my heart felt hardened and crusted over, too rigid to allow anyone new in. Especially these good, happy people who had no clue what I had been through and could never understand the damage that had been done to my heart.
One day I was out walking the fence line with Bracken and his younger brother Calvin. I tried to keep my mind focused on the task, but it just kept fogging out, making it impossible to stay focused. I don’t know what was wrong with me; I felt
like my mind was shriveling up even as my body began to fill out from the good food. Bracken kept telling me to keep up. I tried my best, but it just wasn’t good enough; I lagged behind the others.
At one point, I passed a large clump of bushes. I was almost past when I heard my name softly called through the bushes. It took me a second to realize it was Dakota and another few seconds to figure out what to do. I told Bracken and Calvin that I had to take a leak, and then disappeared into the bushes.
I was so happy to see all three guys hiding deep in the bushes, and they were apparently elated to see me. They hugged me so hard I almost passed out. They were whispering excitedly, Dakota with tears in his eyes, exclaiming that they had thought I was dead when they ran from the farm and were overjoyed when they heard from Jenny and Skylar that I was alive and well. They explained that after secretly returning the fateful gun to its owners, they had sought refuge in the nearby town where Skylar and Jenny happened to live. It seemed that fate had brought us back together, and I decided that I’d leave with them later that night. At least with these guys I didn’t have to pretend to be interested in life and the mundane things that go along with living. They understood what I’d been through and didn’t try to push or pull me into being something I just didn’t have the strength to be anymore.
Late that night, after everyone in the house had been asleep for several hours, I slipped out the back door and met up with the guys by the fence. I had taken some bread and a few slices of ham to placate the dogs so we could make a quiet getaway. As I climbed the fence, I looked back at the sleepy house, so pleasant and unaware of the hell that the sun had unleashed in the cities. On this farm, Time had plodded along almost like nothing at all had happened. I was tempted to stay, but I felt I could never fit in with the peace and happiness it contained.
Chapter 30
A Home and a Purpose
The guys had moved into an old abandoned home on the edge of the small town about a half-day’s walk from Bracken’s farm. Unlike in the big city, the neighbors had allowed the guys to live in the house as long as they took care of it and until the deceased owner’s heirs came to claim it. Even the town’s one police officer condoned the deal, but he warned them that any “funny business” would get them promptly run out of town.
The house was a nice two-story Victorian home about a quarter mile beyond the last house in the neighborhood. It was surrounded by fields, which had been overgrown with weeds and the occasional volunteer corn plant. The kitchen was large and comfy, and the upstairs had enough bedrooms so that we each got our own. Best of all, according to the guys, who eagerly gave me the tour, was the huge garage/workshop, which was full of equipment, tools, two large workbenches, and plenty of windows to let in natural light. It had a woodstove in the corner for heat and even a skylight over each workbench. Ideal, they said, for inventing. There was a cistern out back that was nearly full of water. We had to carry it in with buckets and boil it for drinking, but it was readily available, at least for now.
Every day, the guys and I went into town looking for chores we could do to earn food and parts from lawnmowers, electronics, etc. At first, the guys kept their invention ideas a secret even from me, but eventually they showed me their designs. As soon as they gathered enough parts, they began working on them. They couldn’t wait to get back home everyday with their new acquisitions. Since I knew almost nothing about electronics, inventing, or physics, and my math skills were pretty weak, the guys patiently explained and demonstrated things to me, allowing me to apply what I’d learned on extra pieces of equipment.
All of the things the guys and I were working on had to do with making life easier for people. We rewired solar arrays and small wind turbines, which had been damaged during the CME’s, into well pumps and heat exchangers, took apart lawn mowers and made them into generators to run emergency equipment and power tools, and fashioned small electrostatic motors out of recyclables. We also made heat exchangers out of wood and empty pop cans and traded them for food at the market that was held in the school gymnasium. Many of the items we gave away free to desperate families in need of heat or a source of power.
Another type of project that the guys and I worked on and used for bartering was a defense system for people’s farms. With the help of Matt’s zombie manuals, we showed farmers how to make weapons out of things they could find around the house, and how to set up a perimeter alarm system to warn of marauders, which were beginning to be a serious problem. Doug still felt bad about wounding Bracken’s brother and dog, so we helped their family with a defense system for free to help make up for it. They accepted the apology and help graciously.
The guys had a top-secret project, which they were most excited about and worked on late into the night, relying on light from candles at first, then from some of our solar and generator projects. Using odds and ends like glass bottles, PVC pipe, copper wire and tubing, aluminum foil, and the transformer from a neon sign, among other things, they were able to fashion a high-voltage Tesla coil, capable of generating electricity. They worked for months perfecting it and making it safe for everyday use in households. Since my math and science skills were still lacking, but my penmanship and drawing abilities were fair, the guys had me write all the notes and draw illustrations and diagrams of their work. I became adept at writing coherently, and even noticed that my vocabulary and grammar improved greatly the more I was around the three highly intelligent geeks I had come to love as brothers.
I dated Jenny Garten, Skylar’s friend, for several months after moving to town, but she developed an interest in Matt and started dating him instead. I didn’t have a problem with that; she was too flighty for me. On the other hand, she suited Matt’s crazy-fun personality perfectly.
I met a girl in town named Taylor Smith, with whom I have found a comforting affinity. Like me, her life has been full of heartache and sorrow, and Time has not been kind to her. Most of her childhood was spent being shuffled from one relative to another while her parents alternated between drug and alcohol binges, jail, and rehab. Her older brother Irvine, who had been in Bracken’s class at school, had also fallen into the abyss of drug addiction. Taylor felt like everyone who was supposed to take care of her had abandoned her. Shortly after PF Day, her parents were released from jail and tried to make a family for her and Irvine. Unfortunately, without drugs or alcohol to feed their addictions, they and Irvine became alternately volatile and angry, then sullen and depressed. Taylor tried to be placating or simply stay out of their way, making herself as inconspicuous as possible, but Irvine often fought bitterly with both his parents. Soon they had kicked Irvine out of the home, and he was later found frozen to death in the town park after a snowstorm. Taylor has never gotten over his death or her parents’ abandonment of her, just as I have never gotten over my losses. But I have learned some things since coming to this quaint little town.
As I come to appreciate this new life and the purpose I have found, thanks to my brothers, helping people survive and thrive in this world that Time has forgotten, I have realized several things. One is that money, or whatever is substituted for money, is worthless unless you have loved ones to share it with, to really be with and appreciate. Another is that, like Sara always said, life isn’t always what it seems; one should always try to look at an issue from all sides before jumping to conclusions and passing judgments. And Time, which I used to think was my enemy, is simply the means by which we measure our successes and failures in life; those, in turn, influence how fast or slow we perceive Time to be passing.
Finally, survival isn’t just about knowing how to forage for food, or find shelter, or protect yourself from all the bad things that life throws at you; it’s about figuring out how to find happiness and love, how to move beyond the bad things and search out good stuff, and ultimately, how to make a new life, a life with purpose and relationships, the things that make a life worth living. I’m happy to say that I’m almost there. I’ve come to terms with my anguished past, es
tablished a sustainable present, and am looking forward to a future with limitless possibilities.
There’s only one thing I hold near and dear to my heart, and that is my Sara. Maybe someday I’ll tell Taylor and the guys about her. Or maybe I’ll just keep her memory tucked away in my pocket to replace those tears I spent the day she died. I’ll hold her memory next to my mother’s watch to remind me never again to waste the Time I have been gifted with the people I love.
If you liked Ben’s story,
you might like to read Bracken’s story,
How I Became a Teenage Survivalist
Bracken soon realizes how lucky he is to live on a farm in the Midwest. What seemed like a dull and backwards life before is now the greatest chance for survival in a powerless world. Food, water, and heat are readily available, although hard work is required to make use of them. Bracken and his family must learn to survive like their ancestors who settled the land.
Or Taylor’s story,
Ice Queen: Teenage Survivalist III
Taylor knows what it takes to survive; she’s been surviving on her own as long as she can remember while her parents alternated between drug-induced catatonia, rehab, and jail. But does she have what it takes to survive the failure of the world's power grids, her parent's and older brother's painful withdrawal from drugs, and the emergence of the mental diseases the drugs had been masking for years?
Although each book reveals very different aspects of survival in often contrasting situations, Bracken, Ben, and Taylor prove they have what it takes to survive. Their lives eventually entwine in ways that none of them could have foreseen. The books do not have to be read in any specific order.
Teenage Survivalist Series [Books 1-3] Page 29
