“What?” Violet asks.
“I think this is a bad idea.”
“You know what? Maybe you should think of your friend, Violet. She’s such a nice girl and she’s opened her house up to you and Paxton and she loves having you there, but the sexual tension in the apartment is throwing off the order and balance of the place and making her a little crazy. So… you should do her a favor and go screw Paxton, because you know you want to and you know he does too, and for sure Violet needs it to happen.”
“Okay,” I laugh. “Maybe I’ll just go home and try to make it happen. For you,” I tell her with an overly produced smile.
“Thank you. Let’s go before you change your mind.”
Violet drops me off at the apartment, gives me some last words of encouragement, then drives away. I run my fingers through my hair and smack my lips together a few times before walking up the steps and opening the door.
It’s dark and quiet and I’m guessing he’s at some bar picking out his lucky candidate for tonight’s romp. “Shit,” I mutter, throwing my bag down and heading toward the hall. As I get closer I can hear the quiet sound of Paxton’s guitar coming from our room. The door’s open and I step inside. He’s on the bed, his eyes closed, strumming his guitar, playing a slow, quiet rhythm. I stand there for a few moments watching him, looking at the serenity in his face that I haven’t seen since he’s been back.
I take a step forward and his eyes open. He takes me in and a lazy smile comes over his face. But not like the one he gave me when he knew he had gotten me off. Just a relaxed, thoughtful smile. “I know you asked me to go, beso, but I really didn’t want you having sex in this room.”
I sit down on the end of the bed, suddenly feeling like having sex with him was the dumbest idea that has ever occurred to me. He’s not a conquest. He’s my Paxton. “This room is reserved for your sexual needs alone?” I ask him.
“That depends,” he tells me, setting his guitar on the floor, resting the neck against the night stand. “Why were you alone last night?” he asks, catching me off guard.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, no one was running watch on you. You could have done whatever you wanted to. Why were you alone?”
“Contrary to what you think, I don’t screw guys the first night I meet them. Why are you asking me, Pax?”
“Did you kiss anyone?”
“I kissed you,” I tell him, trying to keep up, wondering what the hell is going on.
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s it. What difference does it make?”
“It doesn’t,” he says while lunging for me. He grabs a hold of my waist and hoists me on top of his body. I’m laughing with relief. This is the guy I know. The playful one who gives a shit. I’m straddled on his waist, very aware of his ever-present hard on. My head is on his shoulder and I’m staring at his lips. “You know what I’ve been thinking about all day, beso?”
“No, Pax. I have absolutely no clue.”
“I’ve been thinking about the first night I met you.”
I smile to myself. “Oh yeah? The worst night of my life, you mean?”
“It hurts my feelings when you say that. I thought that kiss was pretty fucking amazing.”
“It was alright,” I admit.
“I was thinking we should try it again.”
My heart starts pounding at his words. Ten minutes ago I was sure I would give my life to know what it felt like to have Paxton inside of me, but now I’m not so sure. Now that he’s actually present and acting human, I know that I need him too much and I don’t want to mess things up with us.
Paxton gently pushes me up into sitting position until my eyes are in line with his. Until I can feel his breath on my mouth. I smile at him because this is so uncomfortable. I feel like I’m in seventh grade playing spin the bottle. I can feel my cheeks turning warm.
Paxton’s hand snakes into my hair and he grabs on hard. The heat in my face spreads to my entire body. I prop my hands on his naked chest, unsure if my plan is to push away or pull him in. I don’t have to decide though. Paxton sits up and his mouth is on mine. I close my eyes and try to stop the spinning in my head. The heat is overcoming everything. From that first, and only, time he kissed me well over a year ago part of me has always been holding onto it. Remembering it. Longing for it. And now I have it again and it feels so fucking perfect. His lips pull at mine and I can feel myself grasping onto his. My hands find the base of his skull and my fingers dig into his flesh and when his arms wrap tighter around my back, forcing my entire body into his, I shift my legs so they’re wrapped around him. I’m sucking, biting and kissing his sensual lips and maybe it looks chaotic and sloppy but I feel perfectly in tune with every move he makes and my lips, my body, know exactly how to respond.
When he shifts my head to the side and urges my mouth open with his, my tongue slides into his warm, wet mouth as we lick each other. His kisses are hard and abrasive, just like I remember, and if my mouth wasn’t locked down with his I would be screaming… out of ecstasy, out of frustration, as a means to expel this feeling inside of my gut. I’m not screaming but I can hear the desperate sounds that are being uttered by both of us and it turns me on. We are desperate. We are a pair of feral bodies who want to lose control.
His hand pushes further into my hair, forcing my mouth deeper into his until I have no choice but to only work him over with my tongue. His other hand pushes down my back until his fingers are splayed out over my ass, cupping me, tilting me and forcing me into him. My legs move tighter around his back and I start tilting my hips, rubbing myself up and down his length, which I can feel every inch of.
When it becomes clear, by the way our teeth are biting and our fingers are digging, that the dry humping isn’t enough for either of us, Paxton pulls out of my mouth and lays me down on the bed. His eyes are intense but his smile is playful. “You gonna let me be your new fuck buddy?” he ask me through his ragged breaths.
“You made it very clear that that was not an option,” I remind him, my breathing just as labored as his.
“We might be able to negotiate. You don’t sleep with guys the first night you go home with them anyway, beso,” he says, his focus now on my shirt that he’s peeling off my skin.
“You’re sleeping in my bed with me, Pax. I think it’s safe to say I’ve gone home with you before,” I tell him, pulling my shirt the rest of the way off of me and tossing it on the floor.
“Not like this you haven’t. Not like this.” A hunger comes over his face and I know I’m smiling like a two year old, but I can’t help it. I’m excited. I’ve never felt this excited about making out with a guy. My whole body is buzzing with anticipation and I can’t wait to see what Paxton’s hands or mouth are going to do to me and I can’t wait to show him what I can do to him.
Paxton brings his mouth to my neck and bites down before sucking my skin between his teeth. “Paxton, don’t give me a hickie,” I tell him, trying to push his mouth away, but all that does is make him open his mouth wider and suck harder. “Paxton,” I push harder on him. “Seriously, you motherfucker.” I can feel the vibration of his laughter on my skin. I reach my hand down and grab his nipple, squeezing it hard before twisting it. He backs off my neck before grabbing a hold of my wrist and pulling me off him.
“You play dirty, Jess.”
“I can only imagine what girls are willing to put up with from you, but when I tell you to stop, you need to fucking stop,” I tell him.
“Jesus, beso. Even in bed, you’ve got such a big fucking mouth,” he tells me grabbing a hold of my chin.
I push his hand away and he gives me an amused laugh.
“You don’t know what you’re playing with, Pax. You can wipe that cocky grin off your face.”
“This is going to be so much fun, kid… playing with you.” He reaches his hand under my back and pulls the hook on my bra apart before practically ripping it off my arms. His eyes travel over my naked breasts, hi
s big hands cupping them.
“You have no idea what you’ve signed on for,” I tell him, grabbing a hold of his length through his sweatpants.
“Let’s hope so.” He smirks at me before lowering his body and taking my nipple between his teeth. He swirls his tongue around it and I want to be tough, but it feels so damn good and I can’t help the moan that makes its way out of my belly. His hand is kneading my other nipple and my fingers pull at the hair on the top of his head. His mouth leaves my nipple with an audible pop and I relinquish his hair. He sits back up and starts working the button and zipper on my jeans. “Sounded like you liked that,” he tells me, his eyes flashing to mine before he pulls my jeans off of my legs, leaving me in nothing but my panties.
“That’s nothing new, Pax. I’ve had guys bite my nipple before. Show me what else you can do.”
“You are full of shit, beso. Don’t try to pretend like I’m not making you feel shit you haven’t felt before,” he says as his hands push down around my pelvic bone.
“What? A girl’s never moaned for you?” I ask him, grabbing onto his length and letting out a deep moan for effect.
“Don’t play dumb with me, beso. You know you’re not messing around with an amateur anymore, don’t try to play like you are.”
“Show me then,” I taunt him. “What are you going to do to me that I haven’t felt before?”
“I believe we’ve already been down that road. Why don’t you show me something I haven’t felt before?”
“You think just because I grew up in the country I don’t know how to handle a big bad city boy like you?”
“Yeah, kid. That’s kind of what I’m thinking.”
My body is pulsing with adrenaline. “As far as I can tell, those girls you mess around with have had lots of guys in them, but no long term education with just one,” I tell Paxton, unwrapping my legs from his hips and sitting up. “You’ve probably never even had a proper hand job,” I tell him, pushing at his chest until he’s against the wall under his Venice motto, Live and Die Devoted. His legs are bent at the knees, his arm slung lazily over one of them like he doesn’t give a shit. I might believe that, but his eyes are full of lustful anticipation.
I climb over his knees and straddle him. I run my body over his, letting my eyes wander to the spot where my tiny pink panties and his big hard on meet. When my eyes go back to Paxton’s his are still lingering on my hips. I can’t stop staring at his lips so I take a break from this fantastic game we’re playing to taste them, and suck them, and bite them. But when his hand makes its way into my hair and his kiss intensifies I know he’s lost focus, I pull out of his mouth.
I grab a hold of his chin. “Focus, Pax,” I tell him.
“I’m focused, kid. Just waiting for you to show me some shit I’ve never seen. And this,” he tells me, letting his eyes wander back to my thrusting hips, “I have seen before. Not as sexy as you, but I’ve seen it, beso. What else you got?”
I move my hands to the waist of his sweats and pull down – releasing him. I don’t look down. I can’t, because I know I will lose all of my composure, but I feel the force of the release slapping against my hand. “Jesus, Paxton, you are so big,” I praise. I know he’s heard that before. What else would a girl say when he reveals himself to her.
“You’re such a fucking smartass,” he tells me, looking me in the eyes.
“It’s the truth, Pax. How is my tiny little hand going to handle all of that,” I ask, pulling my thumb into my mouth, unable to stop the laughter that comes out of it.
“This is cute, Jess, but come on now.”
“Sorry, babe. I can’t help it,” I tell him, staring him down. I can tell he’s about to lose it, so I focus on the mission at hand, which is literally a hand job. I lick my palm and suck my fingers, preparing for him, no longer playing the game. He feels the shift as his hands sink into my hips.
I let my fingers wrap around his girth and fuck, he really is big. Firmly but gently I move my fist up and down his shaft in a slow, steady motion. I watch his eyes as they close and his hands as they make their way behind his head. “You like that?” I ask him.
“Yeah, beso. It feels good. Keep it up.”
I keep pumping him, changing my speed and pressure, and move my other hand to the ridge of his head, gently massaging him.
“Fuck,” he mutters.
I smirk at him, although his eyes are still closed. I bend down and lick his head which produces a moan and a few curse words from Paxton. I know my tongue on him is going to turn him on – he’s a man. But I really do have a purpose. I slip his head into my mouth and try to ignore the sweet tastes of the liquid that is there. It makes me want him badly but this, at least at this moment, is about him, and I need him wet in order to jack him off properly. I let my lips and my tongue slide down his shaft. My tongue wraps around him, sliding up and down, trying to make his skin as slick as possible.
“Motherfucker,” he groans, his hand coming to the back of my head as he pushes me deeper into him. I let him, until his tip hits the back of my throat. I reach my hand back and pull his from the back of my head.
I ease my way off of Paxton, looking at his pained face I whisper, “Basics, Pax. I will suck you off thoroughly, but not tonight,” I tell him, returning a hand to his shaft and one under his testicles where I rub him. When they start to tighten up I increase my pressure and my friction, paying attention to every pulse his vein makes.
“Fuck, beso,” he tells me and I know he’s close.
“I want to see you come, Pax. I want you to come on me,” I whisper, my hand aiming his tip toward my stomach which is hovering over him.
“Jesus, Jessa,” he mutters before I feel his release under my breasts.
I smile to myself as I look at Paxton’s content face. I slow my hand and let go of him. He opens his eyes and stares at me. “That was good, beso,” he smirks at me, bringing his hands to my stomach, “but you’re all dirty.”
I run my finger over my stomach then pop it into my mouth, sucking on it. “There’s nothing dirty about it, Pax. You’re sweet and warm and you taste fucking good.”
He shakes his head and laughs at me. “What the hell am I going to do with you?”
“That’s a good question,” I tell him.
Chapter 15 - Paxton
I don’t know what time it is, I don’t know if it’s today or tomorrow, all I know is it’s dark and I’m fucking happy. Jessa is in my arms, her nails are making lazy paths up and down my torso, which feels amazing. That girl does all kinds of amazing things with those little hands. Her hands are the main reason I’ve managed to stay out of her. And she’s not begging for it. A basic hand job from that girl is better than the sex I’m used to getting. Watching her come is more gratifying than anything I’ve felt. And the way she talks to me, the things she tells me, the shit that ends up coming out of my mouth… it’s something I’m not used to, but it turns me on. I knew, from the second her mouth was in mine the very first time I kissed her, that things between us would be something I had never experienced, but hell, I had no clue. Already, she’s making me feel things I’ve never felt.
Her soft touch and her warm body and the fact that we’ve been up for a really long time is starting to make me feel like I have to accept the fact that this night cannot go on forever and I will eventually need to sleep. I close my eyes, but then I hear a muffled laugh escape her mouth.
“What’s so funny, beso?” I whisper.
“This. This is funny.”
“It is, huh?” I ask, feeling my mouth form into a lazy smile. I can’t wait to hear what she’s going to say. And I’m not being a smartass. I really want to know. In between our make out sessions, Jess and I have been lounging in bed, talking about random stupid shit like we used to always do in her bedroom in River Bluff. I tried so hard to forget about all of that when I went to Cali, and it might have been working, but now I remember it. And I miss it. And I want to hear what she has to say.
“Yeah, it is. It just seems a little surreal. I mean, I’m naked, in bed with you, thinking about you in the most x-rated of ways, totally allowed to touch you and kiss you however I want to. It’s weird.”
“It doesn’t seem that weird to me,” I tell her.
“Really? I mean, besides the fact that I spent this morning cleaning up after the night you had with Saddie…”
“Jessa, please. You gotta stop saying that chick’s name.”
“What?” she asks, stuttering a laugh. “She doesn’t deserve to have a name?”
“Jesus, just please – shut the hell up.”
“Fine,” she says through quiet laughter. “It’s just weird to think that the guy who undid me multiple times and in ways that I have never felt, that I never knew existed, is my friend Paxton.”
I can’t help but shake my head. “Let me get this straight, kid, because it’s been messing up my head ever since I left you. All that time we were together in River Bluff the thought of the two of us hooking up never crossed your mind?”
“God, of course it crossed my mind. Do you remember how we met?”
“Yeah, I do. And I also remember you telling me repeatedly that it was the worst moment of your life.”
“Well, yeah, that’s true. But only because- and I’m only telling you this because at the moment you are making me deliriously happy- that one stupid, angry kiss made me feel more than anything any guy had ever made me feel. And right after you made me feel that way you pushed me away and told me to ‘fuck off’. Seriously, Pax, it was a pretty shitty moment in my life.”
I hold her closer and kiss the top of her head. “I didn’t know that.”
“Well it’s true. In fact, I spent the rest of that weekend mourning the loss of that feeling because I knew that, not only would I never see you again, but that even if I did run into you somewhere, you had made it damn clear that you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
Part of Me (Jessa & Paxton #1) Page 15
