So he rode. Like the wind. With the wind. With the sense of a man fighting to survive.
Robert had talked to him last night, trying to get him to see the part he had played in all of this. Jonathan did see it, but still, he’d already apologized to Marilyn for his underhandedness. What he regretted was not telling her the truth himself. Now he wished he could have found another way for them to be together without breaking any rules...even if it meant that he left Parkwood instead of her.
But it was done now. And all he could do was find a way to purge Marilyn from his heart. He’d fallen in love with her so quickly, maybe he’d get lucky and fall out of love the same way. He doubted it, though. Marilyn had left her mark on him. And because of what she’d done, how she’d betrayed him, he’d never love again. She had definitely been the one. And now it was done.
Slowly bringing the horse to a trot, he breathed in the crisp air. He looked toward the mountains and squinted his eyes against the fading sunlight, convinced a sunrise or sunset on Whispering Pines was the most beautiful view anywhere.
He tightened his hands on the reins to bring Lark to a stop near a bunch of low hanging trees. Suddenly he felt a pain in his heart when he remembered this place. It was where he had brought Marilyn just last week. Without realizing it, he’d been led here. Why? Was returning here the way to clear her from his thoughts?
Was it a way to help him forget how he had made love to her, how good he’d felt being inside of her, stroking her from the inside out? To erase her scent from his mind, or the way her hair felt beneath his fingers? The way she looked in her clothes? Without her clothes? The way she said his name? The way…
He had to stop. Here and now. He had loved her, but she had proven she didn’t deserve his love. He had to move on. Somehow, someway, he would endure.
Shifting in the saddle, he looked over at the lake and recalled his father once saying that the waters from that lake had a way of cleansing a man’s soul. As he dismounted and tied the horse to one of the tree limbs, he wanted to believe that. Because he wasn’t inclined to catch pneumonia by taking a swim, the way he’d done many times with his brothers in their younger days, he hoped a good face washing would do.
After removing his Stetson and placing it on his saddle, he walked to the lake’s edge and dropped down on one knee. Scooping up water in his hands, he washed his face, loving the cool sensation against his skin. Moments later, he stood and glanced around, refusing to remember the way he and Marilyn had walked around the lake, holding hands.
Suddenly, he remembered about the hunting cabin nearby. It was only five miles away, and was the place he’d gone when he had received the news about his Aunt Victoria’s senseless death. To cope. He would spend some time there next week. Alone. He needed the isolation to get over another death.
The death of his heart.
30
Marilyn walked into her apartment on Sunday evening, appreciating the time she’d enjoyed with her family. Her original plan had been to return home this morning, but Stuart Jr. had asked her to go to church with him. That had been a shocker. Over the years, he’d flatly refused to attend church with the family. Now he was the one doing the inviting. Wow!
She rolled her luggage into her bedroom, feeling the weight of the past week on her shoulders. She glanced at her bed. Had it been just a week ago that Jonathan had made love to her?
Leaving her luggage in the middle of the floor, she went to sit on the edge of her bed and fought back tears. She had made a huge mess of things. She had hastily reacted, instead of thinking things through. As a result, she’d probably lost the man who loved her. She could say that now. It had taken being around her family and friends, listening to those who wanted the best for her, and then going back and piecing together the details in her mind, for her to finally see that. He had tried telling her that he loved her, but she had refused to listen. Instead, she had accused him of being the same kind of selfish, conceited and self-centered man her brothers were.
Not able to hold back tears any longer, she let herself cry until she couldn’t cry any more. She had no idea how to right this wrong. But she’d try.
There was no need to wait until Tuesday to give Joseph Sanders her decision. Tomorrow she would go see him and withdraw her complaint. After that, she would call Jonathan and apologize. Right now, that was all she could think to do. She only hoped it would be enough.
A short while later, after unpacking and taking a shower, she slid beneath the sheets. More tears threatened when she thought about the possibility that Jonathan wouldn’t want to talk to her. He’d be justified, if that was the case. But she had to believe that if she poured out her heart to him and told him how sorry she was, he would forgive her.
She cuddled in the bedcovers that still carried Jonathan’s scent, and finally drifted off to sleep.
* * * *
“Yes, Mrs. Taylor?”
“Miss Bannister is here to see you.”
Joseph lifted a brow. She was a day early, which meant her decision could go either way. He was hoping she was here to withdraw her complaint. “Please send her in,” he said, placing the book he’d been browsing aside to stand and put on his suit jacket.
Marilyn walked in, but he couldn’t tell from her expression if her news was good or bad. “Miss Bannister, I didn’t expect to hear from you until tomorrow.”
“Yes, but there was no need to wait. I’ve made a decision. I am withdrawing my complaint.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I made a mistake coming here last Tuesday. I owe both you and Jonathan an apology.”
“You don’t owe me an apology. I’m just glad we didn’t have to take the matter any further. I guess I don’t have to tell you what something like this would have done to Jonathan Madaris’ career.”
“No sir, you don’t.” The thought made her sick to her stomach. “Thank you, Mr. Sanders.”
“You’re welcome. By the way, I was just checking out your book. The shipment came today.”
Marilyn raised a brow. “My book? I don’t understand.”
Joseph Sanders nodded. “I guess Jonathan forgot to tell you. When he was at that Leaders Conference last month, he brought your book forward for consideration, as something to be used in math programs across the state. The funds were approved to have the book printed with a reputable publisher. It was accepted as an official textbook.” He picked up the book and handed it to her. “Congratulations.”
Marilyn stared down at the book in her hand. Her book. It had a beautiful cover with her name on it.
She hadn’t known. She recalled filling out a form he had presented to her to sign, giving the school permission to continue to use the book at Parkwood after she’d left. She’d noted that it also allowed the school system to print additional copies if needed, but she hadn’t thought it likely.
But something like this had never crossed her mind. And now it would be an official textbook that would be used in math programs across the state? Jonathan had believed in her work and had done this for her. She fought back tears. “Thank you Mr. Sanders.”
“I’m not the one you need to thank, Miss Bannister.” When she nodded and attempted to hand the book back to him, he said. “No, you keep that copy. I’m sure Jonathan would have surprised you with it.”
Marilyn left Mr. Sanders’ office, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Still, she felt physically sick at what she’d learned. She had accused Jonathan of doing so much wrong, while behind the scenes, he’d been doing so much right. And all for her. When she got home, she would call him and apologize. Then she’d thank him for getting her book published and invite him for ice cream, so they could talk.
She caught the elevator down, but as soon as she stepped off, she nearly collided with someone. Jonathan. He reached out to stop her from bumping into him.
“Jonathan,” she said, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Were you?” She didn’t miss the harshness of his voice or the cold look in the eyes staring down at her.
They had moved aside so not to block others from getting on the elevator. “Yes. I withdrew my ethical complaint. I also want to apologize for filing it in the first place,” she said.
“You can keep your apology Miss Bannister. I don’t want it. The only thing I need is to never set eyes on you again.”
Then he walked off.
* * * *
Jonathan kept walking, refusing to look back. He released a deep sigh of relief, though, hearing she had withdrawn her complaint. Still, if she assumed things would go back to the way they’d been between them, she was wrong.
He knew they’d come face to face, early in the new year, when she met with him and the other principals in the district to give her report. But he intended to be over her by then.
She was the last person he had expected to run into today. Not knowing what his future with the board would be was getting to him, so he’d decided to visit Joseph, hoping to determine what his next move should be, if Marilyn moved forward with her complaint. He had wanted to be prepared with a strategy. It would have been hell dealing with the media once word got out. But now, a plan would not be needed.
The elevator door opened and he stepped on and turned around. Then he wished he hadn’t. Marilyn was still standing there, staring at him. He held her gaze and hoped she could decipher the anger he felt through every part of his body. The elevator door couldn’t close fast enough. When it did, he leaned against the back panel and released the breath he’d been holding.
He would leave today for Whispering Pines and spend some time alone at the hunting cabin. And he would remain there until he got himself together. Seeing Marilyn today had only confirmed how important it was that that he do that.
* * * *
“I saw Jonathan today, Traci. He hates me.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you Marilyn. He’s hurt, that’s all. He needs time to figure things out, the same way you did. The important thing is that you love him and he loves you.”
Marilyn drew in a deep breath. “But I never told him I love him. I was too angry.”
“But he told you, right?” Traci reminded her.
“Yes, but that was then. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me now.”
“True love doesn’t work that way. You can’t fall in and out of love that quickly. He’s upset and he has every right to be.”
“I know. I know. But he refused my apology and said he doesn’t want to ever see me again. His words hurt. And he referred to me as Miss Bannister. He wouldn’t even call me Marilyn.”
“Oh Marilyn, you need a hug. When are you coming home for Christmas?”
“I wasn’t planning on coming until Christmas Eve, but now I’m thinking it might be sooner. I need to spend time with you, Erika and the family. There’s no reason for me to remain in Houston for the holidays now.”
After finishing up her conversation with Traci, with promises to see each other soon, Marilyn decided it was time to change the linens on her bed. She didn’t want to sleep another night wrapped in Jonathan’s scent. Especially after what he’d told her today. She’d never been more hurt. And she only had herself to blame.
31
Marilyn was watering the plants in her apartment when she heard the knock on her door. Her heart began racing. Could it be Jonathan? Had he forgiven her?
She crossed the room and nervously looked through the peephole. It wasn’t Jonathan...but she couldn’t quite believe who it was. She quickly opened the door.
“Mrs. Madaris, this is a surprise,” Marilyn said. The first time she’d met Jonathan’s mother, she’d thought Felicia Laverne Madaris was an impressive woman, one who carried an aura of power. She looked too young to have had seven sons, four of them married with sons of their own. She was neatly dressed in an outfit that looked more appropriate for church than for visiting. The strand of pearls around her neck and the white gloves on her hands made her seem even more imposing. “Please come in.” Marilyn stepped aside.
“Thank you, dear,” the older woman said as she walked inside. “I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”
“No, you didn’t,” Marilyn said, not sure why Mrs. Madaris was here. “I was about to do laundry. Can I get you something? Coffee? Tea?”
“No, I’m fine, thank you. I got your address from Helen. I hope you don’t mind but I thought the two of us should talk. About Jonathan.”
“Oh.” Marilyn doubted Jonathan had sent his mother to see her, so she couldn’t help but wonder what had brought Mrs. Madaris to see her. There was only one way to find out. “Please have a seat,” she said, offering the older woman a spot on the sofa.
When Jonathan’s mother sat down, Marilyn took a chair across from her. “So what about Jonathan, Mrs. Madaris?”
Marilyn watched as the woman pulled off her gloves and placed them in her purse. Mrs. Madaris then turned sharp eyes on her, and asked bluntly, “Do you love my son, Marilyn?”
Marilyn hadn’t been expecting that question. But she answered truthfully. “Yes, I love Jonathan.”
Felicia Laverne Madaris nodded. “Did you know that I picked my four sons’ wives?”
Marilyn shook her head. “No, I didn’t know.”
“Well, I did. The women I chose were ones that I knew would make perfect wives for my boys, long before my sons did. I even picked Diana for Robert.”
“Oh.”
“But I didn’t pick you for Jonathan, Marilyn.”
Marilyn shifted in her chair, not sure what her response should be. Was the woman letting her know she didn’t think Marilyn was right for her son? If that was the case, it didn’t matter. She was the last person Jonathan would marry. Besides, she wouldn’t be seeing him again anyway. Marilyn was about to tell Mrs. Madaris that, when the woman’s next words stopped her.
“Although I didn’t pick you for Jonathan, Marilyn, I wish I had. I don’t think I could have found a better woman myself. You are perfect for him.”
Marilyn blinked, not sure she’d heard correctly. “Me? Perfect for Jonathan?”
“Yes.”
Marilyn fought back tears. “I don’t know what or how much Jonathan has told you, Mrs. Madaris, but--”
“You hurt him badly, I do know that.”
The older woman’s words weren’t an accusation, but mere fact. “Yes, I hurt him.”
“And I also know he hurt you, and I won’t discount that. However, you seemed to have gotten over things better than he has. So what are you going to do about it, Marilyn?”
Marilyn shook her head, sadly. “There’s nothing I can do.”
“Poppycock, of course there is. You admitted to loving him. When you love someone, anything is possible.”
Marilyn sighed. “I wish it could be that easy. I saw Jonathan last week and he told me that he didn’t want to see me again.”
“Men,” the older woman said rolling her eyes. “They really don’t know what they want. Why do you think I took it upon myself to select my sons’ wives?”
Marilyn didn’t know what to say to that. “Trust me, Mrs. Madaris, Jonathan--”
“Loves you. Otherwise he wouldn’t be hurting so badly. Let me tell you what he’s struggling with, Marilyn.”
“What?”
“It’s the Madaris pride. I know all about it. I had a lifetime of it with his father. I think you should know that Madaris men can be bull-headed and stubborn, and they can get on your last nerve at times. All because of that blasted Madaris pride. However, when they fall in love, it’s forever. And nothing, not even an extreme case of pride, can destroy that love. It just takes a strong woman to handle it, head on. I think you’re up to it.”
Marilyn thought the older woman had more faith in her abilities than she did. “How can I do that? Jonathan doesn’t want to see me.”
“Like I said, Jonathan doesn’t know what he wants. Now get ready.”
&n
bsp; Marilyn lifted a brow. “Get ready?”
“Yes,” Felicia Laverne said, standing and putting back on her gloves. “You’re going with me.”
Marilyn stood. “Where?”
“I’m taking you to Jonathan.”
Marilyn shook her head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“It’s the best idea. Jonathan arrived at Whispering Pines yesterday, but instead of staying at the big house, he’s spending a few days at the hunting cabin near the lake. “That’s where I’m taking you. So pack an overnight bag with a few essential things.”
“He’s going to be furious when he sees me.”
“Yes, possibly, however, he’ll get over it. If we time it right, you’ll get there before he does. He joined his brothers with the roundup and won’t be back until around midnight. That will give you plenty of time to get settled before he returns.”
Marilyn’s head was spinning. Did Mrs. Madaris know what she was suggesting? The cold look in Jonathan’s eyes had given Marilyn chills.
“Marilyn, we need to move quickly, if we want things to go according to plan.”
Plan? “But what if he throws me out?”
“He won’t throw you out, child. But if he tries, then I suggest you do whatever it takes to make sure he doesn’t. You have to stand up to him, and not let him bully you. If he tries, then bully him back. Show him how strong you are, Marilyn. Let him know that you have a backbone. Once you work through that Madaris pride, you’ll be home free. Trust me.”
* * * *
Trust me.
Marilyn glanced around the cabin and wondered if she needed to have her head examined. Mrs. Madaris was certain her plan would work. Unfortunately, the older woman hadn’t exactly told Marilyn what the plan was. All she’d said was that she would know what to do when Jonathan arrived, that the two of them needed to talk. She also said that no matter what, she couldn’t let Jonathan get the upper hand. She had to stand her ground.
A Very Merry Romance Page 23
