“I’ve made plenty of them.”
“Oh, then I guess you’ve never had to apologize.”
“You’ve guessed wrong. And if you’ll remember, I did apologize to you. What you’re doing won’t work, so please refrain from using that psychology crap on me.”
That made her furious. “I admit what I did was wrong. But what about what you did? Sending me to another school after only teaching at Parkwood for two months. I thought I’d done something wrong.”
“And I told you why I did it. I had fallen in love with you.”
“But how could I believe you about something like that? In my world, people don’t fall in love without first getting to know each other.”
“Well, that’s the way it happens in my world, although I didn’t want it to. But I know it’s unusual, which is why I took things slow with you. I wanted to romance you. Court you. I wanted you to get to know me so when I told you how I felt, you would believe me.”
He paced back and forth. “But not only did you not believe me, you thought I had taken advantage of you! You had no reason to believe such a thing. You were even willing to ruin my career, something I’ve worked a lifetime to achieve, without a second thought. So, no, I won’t make things easy for you by accepting your apology. Whatever plans I had for the two of us are over, finished and done with. I refused to get involved with a woman who doesn’t trust me.”
She heard the anger in his voice. She also heard the pain. Her heart clenched when she realized what the threat against his career had done to him. And she hadn’t hesitated to destroy it with one complaint. Still... “But what about my career, Jonathan? What if you hadn’t come up with the math coach program? You would have sent me away to another school anyway. You weren’t the only one whose career was at stake.”
Maybe he was right. She shouldn’t have come here. She doubted she would ever get through to him, or earn his forgiveness. So why was she wasting her time? She drew in a deep breath when the answer quickly came to her. Because she loved him. She had known it for a while, and had even admitted it to herself. But she had never told him. Would he believe her?
“I made a mistake, Jonathan. A huge mistake. I thought you were like my brothers, treating me the way they treat their women. But I was wrong. And because of it, I’ve lost the only man I’ve ever loved.”
“Loved? Spare me. You don’t know the meaning of love.”
She opened her mouth to deny what he’d said, then closed it again. It suddenly struck her that he was right. She didn’t truly know the meaning of love, at least, not the kind of love he felt. The kind where a person could fall in love at first sight. The kind that had driven him to risk everything by sending her away. The kind that had made him take his time with her, patiently persuading her to date him and then actually courting her, letting her set the pace and make the decisions, even about the right time for them to make love.
So instead of denying what he’d said, she broke eye with him, and stared down at the floor, silently. Fear was gripping her insides. She was losing him. Probably had already lost him. All that Madaris pride had set in, like a solid brick wall that she couldn’t knock down. Her only chance was to try and dismantle the wall, one brick at a time.
She lifted her gaze and looked back at him. He had loved her, she was certain of it. Now it was up to her to make sure that she saw love in his eyes when he looked at her again, instead of the animosity she was witnessing now. “Okay, Jonathan, you’re right.”
She knew her words threw him for a moment.
“So you admit it. You don’t love me.”
She noted he’d said it as a statement, not a question. “No, I definitely love you. But I admit I don’t have anything to compare it to. I have never felt this way about another man before. I’ve never experienced those deep emotions, or the hunger I felt when I asked you to make love to me.”
Marilyn knew her words were reminding him of that night, that he had been her first. “But maybe you’re right about me not knowing the meaning of love…at least, not your kind of love Jonathan. But I believe I can be taught. God knows you are the most patient man I’ve ever known when it comes to showing me how to do things.”
“Even the most patient man has limits, Marilyn.”
Her breath caught. He’d called her Marilyn. Hearing that simple thing gave her hope. It also had her fighting back tears. “I know that and I don’t blame you for the mess I’ve made of things. I’m trying to clean it up, Jonathan, but I need help. I need you to show me. I want to know your kind of love. I want to be a part of your life forever.”
“Forever is a long time,” he said softly, and she could hear the anger slowly losing some of its power in his voice.
“I know, but that’s how I feel. I don’t want men in my life, I just want one man. A man who will love me. Understand me. Teach me. Comfort me. Support me. But most of all, accept I’m not perfect and that I’m human.”
“And what are you willing to give in return, Marilyn?”
“My heart, no strings attached.” She drew in a deep breath. “I’m tired of fighting with you, Jonathan. You don’t want me here. Okay, I get that. You no longer love me. I get that, too. Your mother brought me here because she believed you still loved me. But I can see she was wrong. There are some things a person can’t forgive or forget.”
She walked over to the huge portrait of the bear. Reaching behind it, she retrieved his car keys. Then she walked back to where he stood and handed them to him.
“I won’t force myself on you any longer, Jonathan.” She walked over to get her overnight bag. “Please take me home.”
33
Jonathan gripped his keys tight in his hands. Now, he had what he needed to get her out of his life, so he could live in peace. But would he? He watched her gather up her things and a powerful rush of emotions hit him. Then he realized the truth. He would never be able to find peace without her, because he loved her. He still loved her and he would always love her.
“I’m ready to go, Jonathan.”
He studied her features and saw the same beauty he’d seen the first time he’d set eyes on her. And then suddenly, all the love he’d felt for this woman came flowing back, not that it had truly ever left. He’d just allowed all the hurt, pain and heartache to over-shadow it, smother it and try to destroy it. But the love he felt for her was too overpowering. Too solid.
He placed the keys on the counter beside him and crossed the room to her. “I don’t want you to go, Marilyn. Please stay.” And then he lowered his mouth to hers.
When she released a breathless sigh, he eased his tongue between her lips and he heard her murmur in pleasure. The kiss was gentle, but thorough, as he reacquainted his mouth with hers. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck, both simultaneously surrendering to something neither of them could deny.
Love.
Suddenly, Jonathan’s mouth became greedy, hungry for what it had gone without for so long. The intensity in his need for her was more than he’d ever experienced. He could do nothing but take complete possession of her mouth. And not only was she letting him, she was imitating each and every stroke.
Her softness, pressed against the contours of his hard muscles, did something to him, making it clear in his mind that he’d fallen in love with her for a reason. He’d known she was the woman he wanted in his life forever. To share his name. Have his babies. Be his partner for life.
It took great effort to lift his mouth from hers, but he finally managed. When he looked down on her, he saw the tears in her eyes and the quivering of her jaw.
“I’m so sorry for what I did, Jonathan. I love you. I honestly do. If you give me another chance, I will--”
He reached up and placed a finger to her lips. “Shh. I accept your apology and I hope you accept mine. I should have told you the truth about what I’d done earlier. I started to tell you the night I took you to that fundraiser for Senator Jordan. It was the same night we sa
w Shirlene and you told me how you felt about men you thought deceived women, like your brothers did. But then we got that call about your brother. After that I decided to just stick to my original plan and not tell you until I knew how you felt about me.”
He drew in a deep breath and added. “You should not have found out the way you did. I had been waiting for the perfect time to tell you, and was holding out until I knew for certain that you loved me. That was my mistake. I should have been honest and told you what I’d done and that I loved you sooner. And for the record, I still love you, Marilyn.”
Jonathan wasn’t prepared for what happened next. It was as if a flood gate had opened. Marilyn buried her face in his chest and wept inconsolably. The sound of her sobs wrenched his soul. He held her tight, rubbing his hands up and down her back.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d held her when her tears finally subsided. She lifted her bleary gaze to him. “I wasn’t sure if you could still love me, Jonathan.”
He decided to alleviate her fears about that. “I couldn’t stop loving you Marilyn, even though I wanted to. And I tried. But you have a permanent place in my heart. I hope you know what that means.” Then taking her hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it. “It means that I want to marry you, have babies with you and build a future with you. Will you be mine?”
Her eyes widened, filling with more tears. “Are you…are you asking me to marry you?”
He nodded as he stepped back and got down on one knee. “Yes. I don’t have a ring to give you yet, baby,” he said, looking up at her. “But I want your answer, now. Marilyn Bannister, will you marry me? And just so you know, I’ve already asked your father for your hand in marriage.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You did? But when?”
“When I took you home. I knew the moment I met you that I wanted you as my wife. It was just a matter of getting you on board, and making you fall in love with me. I believed I could do it and wanted your father to know my intentions toward you were honorable. He gave me his blessing. So will you be my wife?”
* * * *
Marilyn fought back more tears as a huge smile touched her lips. “Yes! Yes! I will marry you Jonathan.”
He eased back to his feet and swept her into his arms. “Now, we’re going to celebrate,” he said, moving quickly toward the bedroom.
She had made up the bed, but she knew they were about to mess it up again when he dropped her onto it, then joined her. Within seconds, he’d lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her with an intensity that was meant to rob her of her sanity…the little bit she was trying desperately to hold on to. She still couldn’t believe he was hers. Jonathan wanted her to be his wife. This was more than she’d ever hoped for. Far more than she’d prayed for.
He slowly lifted his head to break off the kiss. After that, she wasn’t sure who started undressing whom. All she knew was that it didn’t take long before they were completely naked.
After taking the time to put on a rubber, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her as if he needed to make sure this moment was real, and not a figment of his imagination. Her body was pressed against his, and she could feel the hardness of her nipples rub against his chest. There was no turning back now. They could and would only move forward.
He kissed her again, nearly pushing her over the edge and when he pulled back moments later, both of them were breathing erratically. “This--” he said, adjusting his position to straddle her, “--is what I miss. Kissing you, feeling close to you, making love to you.”
“We only made love that one time,” she said, feeling the hardness of his erection poking against her thigh.
“Yes, but we have all of today and tomorrow to make up for lost time,” he said, placing kisses on her face, her chin, her lips.
“Today and tomorrow?”
“Yes. The day after tomorrow is Christmas Eve. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to take you home so we can tell your family our good news. We can spend Christmas with them and then return here to spend New Year’s Day with my family.”
“Oh, Jonathan, that sounds wonderful.” That meant she had two whole days to spend here in the cabin with him. “I’m going to really enjoy the next couple of days here with you. We’re going to have a very merry romance.”
A huge smile spread across his mouth. “I’m going to make sure that we do.”
“And I know about my book, Jonathan. Thanks to you it’s now an official textbook. You don’t know how I felt knowing you believed in me the way you did. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome and you don’t have to thank me. I will always believe in you, Marilyn.”
And then he was kissing her again. The moment Jonathan touched his tongue to hers, she’d felt weak, and was glad that she was already in his bed. He was using this kiss to seduce her--not that seduction was necessary--and it was working. She felt an ache between her legs that spread right into her womanly core.
He momentarily withdrew his lips from hers. “I’m ready to be inside you, Marilyn,” he whispered close to her ear. “Are you ready?” he asked, dropping soft kisses along her cheeks and jaw.
“I’m more than ready,” she said, barely getting the words out.
“Baby, I’m taking you at your word,” he said, lifting his head to stare into her eyes. She saw desire and love in his gaze.
She felt her body begin to quiver from anticipation and she automatically shifted to open her legs. That’s when he gently gripped her hips in his hand and slowly penetrated her, holding her gaze as he moved, deeper and deeper. When he was buried deep inside of her, he began thrusting, then withdrawing, over and over in a rhythm that made her moan deep in her throat. When he began moving faster and harder, she gripped the bedspread.
“Jonathan!”
An explosion ripped through her body, leaving her breathless. But he continued to thrust hard into her as millions of pleasure points sliced through her, taking control of every inch of her skin and electrifying every single cell in her body.
“Marilyn!”
He called her name, then threw back his head and released a huge growl that seemed to ricochet off the walls. He continued to hold on to her, rocking into her with an intensity that drove him deeper with every hard thrust.
She didn’t want the sensations to end, but as she felt their bodies slowly unwind, she knew it was just a slight reprieve. They had the rest of the day and tomorrow to love each other this way. And she was going to enjoy every minute of it.
* * * *
Jonathan slowly opened his eyes and blinked, seeing Marilyn’s body draped across his. She’d fallen asleep on top of him. He glanced around the bedroom, and his gaze focused outside the window. It was dark outside. He then tried to recall just how many times they’d managed to get out of bed that day. They’d made love until lunch time. She had wanted to sleep but he’d convinced her to eat, saying she would need her strength for later. Then he’d shown her just what he had meant.
They’d made love again until dinner time. After taking a shower together, they had eaten the soup his mother had sent him. Then, they had undressed and gone back to bed. Luckily, he’d had enough rubbers so far, but he wasn’t sure how much longer they would last, which meant they needed to modify things a bit. Neither of them had a problem with that. Besides, he enjoyed furthering her education of oral sex.
“Hi.”
He turned his gaze away from the window to look at her. “Hi,” he said, then maneuvered her mouth down to his for a kiss. He smiled at her. “You’re addictive, Marilyn Bannister.”
She chuckled. “So are you, Jonathan Madaris. Considering how much we like doing this, I think I should schedule a visit to the doctor. It might be a good idea to go on the pill.”
“Umm, I like that idea. Then I’ll know how it feels to climax inside of you.” Just the thought made him go hard.
“I’m looking forward to it. And you know what else I can’t wait to do?”
“What?” he asked.
&nb
sp; “Have your babies.”
He chuckled. “Then you might not want to bother with the pill. I wouldn’t mind if you became pregnant on our wedding night.”
She lifted a brow. “So soon?”
“Why wait? Especially when you said you wanted six kids.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “You remember that?”
“Yes. At the time, I already knew I wanted to be your husband. I was just praying I would be able to handle that many kids. That’s a lot of babies, you know.”
“Not too many. I could have been greedy and asked for eight. My Aunt Ellen has twelve. And we know they’ll be boys, since they run in your family.”
“I’m glad you’re not the greedy type. But I wouldn’t mind having a daughter who looks like her mom.”
“Umm, I was thinking about a son who looks like his dad.”
He tightened his arms around her. “If we have a son, I’d like to name him Justin.”
“After your childhood best friend?”
“Yes. Robin met someone and is dating again,” he said.
“She told me and I’m happy for her.”
“Me, too. Justin would have wanted that for her.”
“Speaking of dating,” Marilyn tilted her head and gave him a pointed look. “Can I trust Roman Malone not to break Traci’s heart? I think she really likes him.”
Jonathan began gently stroking her back. “And I think he really likes her. Although he thought I was crazy when I told him I had fallen in love with you so quickly, now I honestly think the same thing has happened to him. We will have to wait and see.”
“And pray. I know he’s your friend, but if he hurts her, I will do him bodily harm Jonathan.”
Jonathan laughed. “I’ll make sure to tell him that.” And then he pulled her head down for another kiss.
* * * *
“I figured the two of you would come to your senses,” Felicia Laverne Madaris said, smiling when Jonathan and Marilyn showed up at the ranch house early Christmas Eve. “Do either of you have anything to tell me?”
A Very Merry Romance Page 25
