by Donna Hatch
Her mouth dried at the idea that he might be thinking about kissing her. She’d never so badly in all her life wanted to be kissed than she did at that moment.
That would be foolish, for if she kissed Kit, she’d lose another piece of her heart to him, and those pieces would be gone forever when she must say good bye.
He dropped his hand and stepped back. “Will you play for us now?”
“Oh, do!” Esther exclaimed.
Susanna obliged them, playing not as she did for her uncle as a way of escaping her life as a virtual prisoner, but as she once had as a child, to share and please her family. That sensation of belonging, here and now, permeated every inch of her, and her joy wove through her music. How dear Kit and the Daubreys had become to her so quickly!
Each time she finished a piece, they begged for more and more, until finally Esther declared they were probably wearing out their star performer.
Kit arose. “I suppose it is past time that I leave. I bid you all a good night.”
Esther stood and kissed his cheek. “I’m so happy you spent the evening with us. Will you come with us as I take Susanna on a little sight-seeing tour of the city tomorrow?”
He glanced at Susanna, a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. “Yes, I would enjoy that—if that meets with Susanna’s approval.”
Susanna smiled. “Of course. It would be a pleasure to have you with us.”
He came to Susanna and took her hand, enfolding it in both of his. Something intense and searching in his eyes made her pulse pound. Again he raised her hand to his lips. Again came that answering warmth like a candle flame, flickering wider and brighter.
He smiled gently. “Until tomorrow, then.”
She swallowed. “Good night.”
When he left, she put her hands over her hot cheeks. He most certainly had taken another piece of her heart with him.
Chapter Ten
Kit leaned an arm on the back of Daubrey’s barouche and admired Susanna’s pretty face and unaffected smile as she gazed at the sights of London. Though she schooled her features so as not to gawk too much like a green girl from the country, the light in her eyes and the awed smile gave away her delight. He grinned at Tess, silently praising her for making sure much of their sightseeing remained inside the carriage so as not to tire out Susanna. After a second night’s sleep safe in a bed, as well as several nourishing meals, she looked better than he would have believed. The dark circles under her eyes vanished, her skin virtually glowed, and a new confidence straightened her spine. Even her smiles came more easily now.
All the while, Kit kept a sharp watch for men who might take unusual notice of Susanna. He would not allow a hired thug, or anyone else for that matter, to spirit her away. Clearly, she had more value to her family than she understood. If she were so important to them, why would they starve and neglect her? Each moment he spent in her company chastised him for having once believed her capable of lies or theft, however briefly.
They viewed the Tower of London and then a private museum. Kit divided his attention between watching Susanna enjoy herself and guarding her from harm. With her next to him, he felt a renewed purpose, as if he’d only been dozing the last few years and had finally come fully awake. Colors seemed brighter, scents stronger, sounds richer. With her near, he’d wondered how he’d ever managed the monotony of life. Without his music, he might have faded completely away. But now she was here, and he wanted her near him always. Always. He tasted the word and found it sweet.
Later they drove over London Bridge, and even enjoyed flavored ices at Gunter’s. After finishing the last drop of her ice, Susanna turned her gaze upon him and his heart expanded.
With eyes aglow, she asked, “May we visit Wapping and walk along the river?”
She’d remembered. Why that meant so much to him, he couldn’t have said, except that it seemed yet another thread in the bond tying him to her.
He almost leaned forward to touch her face. Instead, he gripped the back of the seat. “I noticed it was high tide when we drove over the bridge, so we can’t walk on the beach, but there are several shops that have walkways along it that we might visit.”
Susanna smiled with such brilliance that his heart did an odd little flip.
“That sounds delightful,” Tess said. She gave the instruction to the driver.
Once reaching the area he sought, Kit stepped out and handed down both ladies, tucking their hands in his elbows and glancing sharply about for lurking pick pockets and those seeking to snatch Susanna for a reward or otherwise. In Wapping, the very air felt different—ancient and wise and timeless. They strolled along the edge as far as possible and came up on the watermen’s stairs. The water gurgled and sloshed, devouring most of the steps leading downward like some thirsty dog lapping up water.
Susanna watched it as if mesmerized. “This place has such a tremendous sense of history. I almost feel more connected to my heritage as an Englishwoman just by being here amid such a timeless place. This river has surely seen much change over the centuries.”
“It has,” Kit agreed. “The river itself is so changeable, and yet constant.”
Even Tess was subdued. Quietly, she asked, “Shall we explore the other steps? They are all a little unique.”
By taciturn agreement, they skirted the edges of warehouses until they came to the narrow passageways between them leading to other steps, some well-kept, others in disrepair, all giving that sense of living timelessness. Ships sailed by as they had for millennia, their wakes stirring up the water even more like breakers on a seashore.
It gave him no small sense of pride to share this with Susanna, knowing that she felt the same respect as he.
Tess finally turned them home, reminding them of tea and the need for Susanna to rest before dinner so she could be fresh for the evening’s performance.
Susanna looked up into his eyes, smiling softly. His chest tightened and his whole focus fixed upon her lips. At the moment, the temptation to kiss her almost overcame his gentlemanly restraints. He ached for her, for what he might share with her.
“Thank you for showing this to me,” she said.
With all sincerity, he said, “Believe me when I say it was very much my pleasure.”
She blushed and looked down but tightened her hold on his arm. He imagined how it would be to take her into his arms in truth and hold her close. He might never let her go.
After returning home, he saw them both inside where they had tea. How comfortable it was to sit here with Tess and Susanna, as if they really were family.
Tess glanced at the clock and stood. “I’m going to rest before dinner. Perhaps you’d like to rest as well, Susanna?”
“Thank you, I believe I would.” Susanna said.
Tess nodded and left them alone.
Susanna smiled at Kit. “Thank you so much for a lovely day. And thank you for keeping watch. I noticed how alert you were. Do you think that man my aunt paid to take me back will try to force me back again?”
A fierce protectiveness arose within him. “If that’s true, I won’t let it happen.”
Her smiled turned soft, and a velvety light shone in her gray-blue eyes. “I know. I feel safe with you.”
His focus narrowed on her lips. A physical ache swelled up inside him again. But he couldn’t. He’d be taking advantage of her as a guest in his sister’s home. And he had not yet declared his intentions.
He swallowed. Stepped back. Bowed. “I will return tonight for dinner and to escort you to the theatre.”
“I look forward to it.” Admiration and even longing shone in her eyes.
He had better proceed slowly with…well, whatever it was that he intended to do. Exhilarated with anticipation, he returned home, changed into his concert attire and all but skipped to the Daubrey’s house in time for dinner.
Tess met him at the door. With a lowered voice, she said, “We need to start thinking of Susanna as a respectable lady who is my guest, and not as a girl
without a family you brought home from the orchestra.”
Kit blinked. “Meaning….?”
“She needs to have a chaperone. You cannot continue to spend time alone with her in a closed coach as you come and go from this house.”
“I see.” She was right, of course. As a guest of the Daubrey’s, Susanna would eventually fall under public scrutiny. Failure to adhere to propriety might reflect poorly on all of them.
Tess continued, “I could chaperone when you go to the theatre this evening, but I will be attending the Earl and Countess Tarrington’s dinner party, so I cannot bring you back.”
“They’re having a dinner party this early? The Season has not yet begun.” He only kept track by his rehearsal schedule, which would begin next week for the new opera of the Season.
“This is for the Tarrington’s closest friends,” Tess explained. “Their ball is not scheduled to take place until the Season officially begins. I must be there tonight and it would be unseemly for me to leave early.”
Kit shrugged. “I can take a hackney or walk.”
“And leave her alone? No, Kit, that would never do. I have hired a companion to accompany her on your evening excursions to and from the opera house, and during the day when I cannot be with her. The companion will ride with you in the carriage, only—not go with Susanna into the theatre. She begins tonight.”
He nodded. “Thank you for protecting her reputation.”
Her serious expression lightened. “I have a number of reasons for wishing to do so.” She grinned and raised her brows.
Before he could question her regarding that comment, she took him into a sitting room and introduced him to the chaperone, Mrs. Hart, a middle-aged, full-figured lady who sat sewing. Mrs. Hart curtsied but seemed rather dismissively about it as if she’d rather resume her work.
As Kit and Tess returned to the drawing room, he spared a moment to mourn his carefree relationship with Susanna when conventions didn’t rule their time together. There would be no more dancing on the lawn. Then again, perhaps it was time to change the nature of their relationship to explore new possibilities.
He felt Susanna’s arrival before he turned around. When he did, he almost gaped. She looked even more beautiful than before. Her skin fairly glowed in the candlelight, and her sleek hair shone. True warmth and sincere affection shimmered in her eyes. Most of all, her smile lit up his life, his world, his heart. His breath hitched. She was more than lovely; she was everything good and pure and sincere. During dinner, he could barely manage a polite conversation. The air seemed thick with awareness of her.
As usual before performance, he ate lightly and was gratified to see Susanna consuming more food than she had the previous night. Perhaps her stomach was becoming accustomed to regular feeding. If only he’d found her sooner before she’d been reduced to such straights. It made him want to confront her relatives. With a weapon.
When the time came, Kit pushed back his chair. “I wish we could linger, Tess, but we need to get to the theatre.”
“I have a carriage ready to take you,” Esther said. “I’ll send another one to pick you up tonight, Susanna.”
Susanna stammered, “That’s very kind but really—”
“I won’t hear of you walking to and from the theatre,” Esther said. “I know Kit fancies himself a knight errant who can defend you from all the ruffians that prowl the streets at night, but a lady need not walk so far at such an hour—it’s cold and damp.”
“She’s right,” Daubrey said.
As Susanna stood, her smile turned pained as if inwardly she was writhing. “Thank you again. Good night.” She curtsied to them and took Kit’s arm.
“Oh, wait,” Esther called. “I have a pelisse that will be lovely with that frock and it will be warmer than yours. You’ll take that.” Her tone allowed no room for argument. She made a quick gesture to a liveried footman.
The footman stepped up with a cobalt-blue velvet pelisse at that moment. He handed it to Kit. He draped it around her, pausing a moment to touch her shoulders. The footman also handed her a pair of kid gloves.
Susanna ran her fingers over them. “So soft. Almost like satin.”
Her smile looked wistful.
Tess called, “Mrs. Hart, they are ready.” She smiled at Susanna. “The chaperone I told you about is ready to accompany you.”
Susanna’s brow furrowed. “But I assured you, she isn’t necessary.”
Kit put a hand on her arm. “I know our meeting took place under unusual circumstances. In fact, our entire relationship has taken place under unusual circumstances. Even though you and I have already traveled together in a closed coach, Esther and I agree it’s best if you have a chaperone now.”
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I belong to the working class now, and I have been alone for long enough that such measures are probably a moot point.”
Poor Susanna. No gently bred lady should endure all the indignities she had suffered. “Be that as it may, you are a guest of my sister’s so it would be best if we followed conventions.”
She cast a panicked look at the door as if considering running.
“What is it?” he said.
She let out a huff and looked down. “It’s just that…” she glanced at Tess. “Forgive me, I appreciate everything you have done, and are doing, but I have lived so long under my aunt’s control that I…” She shrugged. “It’s nothing. This is your home, and of course you must do what you think is best.”
Tess bit her lip. “Forgive me, I did not intend to make you feel as if you have no say. I only had your best interest at heart. I suppose I can be overbearing at times.”
Susanna smiled, but it came out looking almost pained. “I understand.”
Kit exchanged glances with Tess. They should not have been so heavy handed with her. Just because she stayed here didn’t mean they had the right to manage her life. She surely must have enjoyed her taste of freedom just as Kit had when he left home.
Mrs. Hart appeared carrying a bag. Some kind of knitted cloth peeped out the top. While Tess made the introductions, the chaperone and Susanna nodded to one another. Mrs. Hart walked out ahead of them and got into the coach.
As they stepped outside, Kit glanced at Susanna’s strained features. “We didn’t intend to make you feel as if you have no say over your decisions.”
She lifted her shoulder. “Your sister is very thoughtful and generous. I should be more grateful.” Her words fell flat.
“She can be a bit of a bully, too,” Kit said. “And, apparently, so can I. You most assuredly do not need to be more grateful. We ought to be more sensitive to your wishes. Tess is still sulking over not having a sister, so she’ll surely subject you to all manner of fussing. You’ll need to put your foot down. I apologize for not consulting your feelings on the matter.”
She glanced at him from underneath her lashes. “You should apologize for omitting that she had married a viscount.”
He waved that off. “Don’t make more of it than there is. Besides, she’s only my sister, and Daubrey is just my brother’s friend from school who spent summers and holidays with us.”
She stopped on the front step and lowered her voice, probably so the chaperone wouldn’t overhear. “I don’t belong here with them.”
He put a hand on either side of her shoulders, turning her toward him. “Believe me when I say that you fit right in.”
“If my parents had lived and I’d had the benefit of my mother’s tutelage, dance masters, French teachers, a governess, and perhaps a few London seasons to develop some Town polish, I might have belonged to this world. Not now. Probably not ever. I’m too backwards and unsophisticated.”
With a finger under her chin, he lifted her face upward to his. “Susanna Dyer, you are poised and gracious and well mannered. You carry yourself as a lady no matter your circumstances. You belong in their world as much as they.” He waited until the misery faded from her eyes.
A little curving of her li
ps assured him that his words had not completely fallen by the wayside. Kit led her to a waiting coach and he handed them in. With the chaperone present, speech halted. As they traveled, Kit wrestled with the magnitude of Susanna’s statement about her sensibilities and that she’d become jaded. What, exactly, did that mean? Had some harm come to her as she slept in the streets? Torn between asking probing questions that were none of his business, and fearing the answer should she confide in him, he sat gripping his violin case as if it were in danger of suddenly leaping out of his hands. The idea that such a gentle soul had fallen on such hard times tugged at his heart. The thought of her falling prey to unscrupulous characters turned his insides out.
He’d initially felt a pull toward her because she’d been a damsel in distress. Later, her gift as a musician had drawn him to her. There was something else about her that captured his interest, some connection he could not hope to understand without years of exploring it, which sounded more appealing every moment.
Susanna shot darting glances at him with eyes that glittered in the occasional glow of lamplights they passed. If she’d suffered indignities and abuses, she might very well be afraid of men. At first, he viewed her behavior as extreme reticence but now it seemed to be true wariness. If only he’d learned sooner she’d had nowhere to sleep!
She remained silent until they reached the stage entrance. As he handed her out of the carriage, he kept a grip on her hand. She looked up at him with an inquiry in her eyes. A dozen questions ran through his mind, but nothing seemed appropriate.
She glanced at the companion, the silent Mrs. Hart, and said, “Thank you Mrs. Hart.”
The older woman inclined her head. “I will return with the carriage later tonight, Miss.”
As Kit escorted her to the back stage entrance, he moistened his lips. “I won’t ask you prying questions, but please know that you can confide in me if you ever feel the need to unburden yourself.”
In a small voice, she said, “Thank you.”
