by Donna Hatch
When the seamstress finished her measurements, promising to have the alterations completed before dinner, Susanna turned her attention upon bathing and enjoying the luxury of having her hair styled again. After dressing in an apron-style gown similar to the one she’d borrowed yesterday, only this one of palest pink, she joined Esther in the parlor to await the captain’s visit. Dressed like a true lady, and in the company of her dear new friend, Susanna felt rather like Cinderella at a ball. With any luck, the magic wouldn’t end at the stroke of midnight.
In the parlor, she helped Esther sew beads onto a reticule while they chatted like old friends. Underneath it all, her nerves jumped as she anticipated the upcoming interview with her brother’s captain. Still, Esther’s charm and humor had her relaxing enough to share some girlish giggles.
A servant announced Captain Marshall. Susanna’s stomach flipped in all directions as she and Esther stood.
“Thank you for coming, Captain,” Esther said to the gentleman.
Captain Marshall bowed. With dark hair shot through with a few strands of silver and the craggy lines on his face of a sea captain, he looked like he might be anywhere from thirty to fifty, and was handsome in a comforting, fatherly sort of way. “I’m happy to be of assistance, Lady Daubrey.”
After Esther made the introductions and excused Lord Daubrey’s absence due to business, they sat. Susanna smoothed the skirt of her borrowed gown with trembling hands. She spared a grateful thought that she could receive this distinguished captain in a proper gown instead of the threadbare frock she’d worn before becoming the recipient of Esther’s generosity.
Captain Marshal addressed Susanna. “I understand you seek information about your brother, Miss Dyer.”
This was it—the moment she’d been anticipating. Her pulse leaped about like a crazed dancer. “Yes, sir. I received your letter, and I thank you for that. In addition, I was hoping you might fill me in on the details.”
He nodded. “It’s been my experience that people often harbor a hope that there has been some mistake regarding the death of the loved ones. Let me assure you that there is no doubt as to his fate; I identified his body and was present during your brother’s burial at sea.”
The news, though not unexpected, still hit her with such finality that her eyes burned. She nodded and stared at her hands. When she could speak, she managed, “I hadn’t really hoped otherwise. Not really.” Her voice broke. He was lost, then. Well and truly lost to her. Blinking and swallowing, she struggled to regain her composure.
Captain Marshall’s voice quieted. “He was a fine officer. I had just promoted him to the rank of second lieutenant, and he served with valor.”
She nodded again, still too emotional to speak.
Captain Marshall spoke in soothing tones. “He spoke of you often. When he received news of your parent’s death, he wrestled between the desire to return home to you, and his commitment to his duty as an officer. His choice to remain in the navy stemmed from his desire to protect his country—and his sister—from Napoleon’s dominion.”
Pity he hadn’t chosen to protect her from her aunt’s dominion! Still, she could not begrudge his desire to serve king and country.
She nodded. “I understand.”
“What you may not know is that only days before his last battle, he’d had a change of heart and had decided to return home to take his place as head of the household and care for you. I regret that he was unable to do so.”
She lifted her head. “He had?”
“Indeed. He had made that desire known to me.”
If only Richard had come home sooner, he would still be alive. They could have shared their grief over their parents’ death and created happy new memories together. Susanna would have been spared from living under her Aunt Uriana’s tyranny—she’d grown so much worse after news of her Richard’s death, probably because she no longer had any fear of censure.
Susanna crushed her handkerchief. “How…how did it happen? You said in your letter that it was during a sea battle, but if you know anything more…” She swallowed.
“He was below deck calling instructions to the gunners. We were hit broadside. Water started pouring in through the breach in the hull. Though he was wounded, he carried several of his injured shipmates to safety, and then waded back in to the flooded deck to help board up the hole until the carpenters could perform repairs. The exertion may have aggravated his injuries. He perished a short time later.” He paused. “He was a hero, Miss Dyer, and he served king and country with honor.”
She nodded and wiped tears running down her face. Esther took her hand and held it. Silently, the captain and Esther waited. There seemed nothing else to say.
Susanna straightened and offered the captain a watery smile. “I thank you for seeing me, Captain. I am grateful to you.”
“I am happy to be of assistance. Please accept my condolences.”
After bidding the captain goodbye, Susanna went to her bedchamber and splashed water on her face. She stood bracing her hands on either side of the washbasin. What had she hoped to hear? That Richard was only missing and that he might someday come home? War took the lives of countless other brothers, fathers, sons, and husbands. Why should she believe she would be spared?
Esther entered and sat on an armchair drawn up to a small round table. “Would you like to talk about it?”
Susanna shook her head and reached for a towel to dry her face. Surely if she shared the feelings in her heart, she’d break down and sob all day. She pressed the towel over her face and took several deep breaths.
Esther studied her soberly. “If you aren’t feeling quite the thing, we can forego our visit to the museum.”
“No, that’s not necessary. I suspect a diverting outing is exactly what I need.”
Despite her brave words, the last thing she wanted to do was put on a smile and pretend to enjoy herself. Still, she was a guest out of Esther and Daubrey’s charity. She owed it to her kind hostess to follow through on their plans.
Esther smiled gently and gestured to the bed where some clothing lay. “I see the alterations for your spencer and pelisse are completed.”
Susanna nodded and moved to the bed as Esther held up the spencer so Susanna could slip her arms into the short, jacket-like garment. After fastening the mother-of-pearl buttons, Susanna faced Esther to get her opinion.
“Lovely. I do adore you in blue. It brings out the color of your eyes, and that spencer dresses up that plain apron-style gown nicely. You really have such a lovely complexion.” She helped Susanna into the plum-colored pelisse and donned one of her own. “Ready?”
They left the house together. Despite the gloom in Susanna’s heart, she cheered after only moments in Esther’s exuberant company. They visited the British Museum where Esther acted as an informative tour guide. Later, they strolled along Wapping. Finding that it was low tide, they descended down the waterman’s steps and explored the beach of the Thames. Other people scavenged for coal and other items that washed up—among them an old cup, a broken tea pot, several bottles, and even a battered shoe.
Remembering the man who’d tried to seize her, Susanna glanced about. This would be a terrible place for him to find her. She was exposed along the water. He could easily leap out from one of the buildings, snatch her, and spirit her away. She cast a glance at the coachman and footman waiting on the road. Would they lend a hand if she were in danger?
“Oh, and I simply must have some new perfume.” Esther’s announcement broke into her thoughts. “Shall we return to the coach, or do you wish to remain longer?
“I’m ready to return.” Hopefully, Susanna didn’t sound too eager.
Still glancing about, Susanna gratefully returned with her friend to the coach. Inside the perfumer, the combination of scents created a chaotically delightful bouquet—everything from fruits such as apples and oranges, to spices like cinnamon and vanilla and bergamot, to flowers, some of which were labeled with names she had never h
eard of nor could she identify by their smell.
“As a rule, I like undertones of lavender,” Esther said. “I want something else to liven up my usual scent. I’m not sure about the blend I want.”
As Esther agonized over the types and proportions of scents, aided by a perfumer, a grandfatherly sort of man, Susanna handed her a bottle. “Perhaps you could add a little cinnamon to brighten it.”
Esther sniffed and smiled. “Yes, that’s better. I’ll take one with this combination,” she said to the perfumer. “And something else…something…new. What do you like, Susanna?”
They experimented until they finally settled on a blend of gardenia, vanilla, and sweet orange.
Esther took a whiff. “It fits you perfectly.”
“Me?” Susanna shook her head. “Oh, no. We are in search of a new fragrance for you.”
“This your fragrance—exotic, yet soft.”
Susanna almost laughed out loud. She’d never considered a country bumpkin exotic. If only Kit viewed her that way, maybe he’d think of her as a woman instead of a pathetic child in need of rescue.
Oh dear. She was quickly losing her heart to him. While he’d always been so kind and attentive, she had no reason to believe he had any true feelings for her. Why would he? Years of her aunt telling her she was stupid and backward and ugly had eaten away at Susanna’s confidence until she had little left. What if her aunt were right? Perhaps they would have loved her and treated her like a member of the family if she had been pretty and graceful and accomplished in something—anything—other than the harp.
“My friend will take one of this blend in a throwaway,” Esther said, “and she’s not going to argue with me about a little gift such as this.” Esther shot Susanna a stern look and addressed the patient perfumer.
Susanna opened her mouth and snapped it shut. Meekly, she said, “Thank you.”
Smiling triumphantly, Esther paid for their purchases while a shop girl poured the customized perfumes into tiny scent bottles and put stoppers on the ends.
Susanna fingered the glass cylindrical bottle decorated with hand-painted gilt. “These are called throwaways?”
Esther smiled. “I don’t know if everyone throws them away, but their rounded bottoms make it impossible to stand them up, and they tend to roll all over the dresser, so once the perfume is gone, most people discard them. If you like the blend you’ve customized, we’ll come back and buy a larger bottle of it.”
Susanna wouldn’t dream of asking Esther to buy a large bottle of expensive perfume but she nodded anyway. At Esther’s urging, Susanna opened the cork stopper on her sample and dabbed a little behind her ears as she had seen her mother do years ago.
Back inside the carriage, Esther stuck her feet out and pointed, then flexed her toes. “Are your feet as tired as mine?”
“A bit. It’s been a truly diverting afternoon.” Susanna let out a happy sigh. What a dear friend she’d found in Esther.
“Tea is in order, I believe. And then the dressmaker is coming to measure you and bring samples for gowns of your own.”
“Esther, please, I really cannot—”
“Now, now, we’ve been through this. No arguing. You agreed to one gown and I’m holding you to that.” Esther put her arm around Susanna. “I consider you a true friend. You are the sweetest, most unspoiled and delightful young lady I have ever had the privilege of knowing, and I can’t wait to show you off at my dinner party tonight.”
“I cannot imagine how I will manage a formal dinner party.”
“You will manage it as beautifully as you manage our family dinners. Your manners are impeccable, and you’re as fresh as a spring flower. Trust me, our guests will love you. Most of all, I expect my brother will once again be unable to keep his eyes off you.”
Susanna stared unseeing out of the window, reliving the exhilaration of having Kit so near. The way he’d touched her hand had left her giddy and sleepless most of the night. She quashed that thought.
“He is merely being gallant,” Susanna said. “I am a dull country miss with no hope of making a match with a fine gentleman.”
“You underestimate your appeal, my dear.” Esther smiled smugly.
Susanna only shook her head.
After arriving home and enjoying tea, fruit, and cakes, Susanna barely resisted rubbing her stomach in contentment. “I suspect you are trying to fatten me.”
“I am. You are far too thin. If you put on a little weight, your figure will fill out.”
Before Susanna had time to be embarrassed about the reminder of her lack of womanly charms, Esther added in a quiet voice, “You clearly haven’t eaten enough food on a regular basis in far too long.”
Susanna shrugged and looked away. Discussing such unhappy years served no purpose.
Gentle and concerned, Esther said, “You left because they were starving you?”
Susanna picked up a pillow decorated with needlepoint and hugged it. “I left because my aunt was insistent that I marry her nephew, Algernon.”
Ether’s mouth flattened. “What did she do, tie you to the bedpost and whip you until you agreed?”
“No, she threatened to lock me in my bedchamber until the wedding day.”
Esther let out an indignant huff. “Your aunt sounds like a selfish beast. I vow if I ever cross paths with her, I will cut her dead!”
Warmth and friendship trickled over Susanna, and she opened to it like a flower opens to a gentle summer rain. Notwithstanding her concern with how she might find employment and repay Esther—not to mention the underlying fear over the man who was after his reward money finding her again—these were some of the happiest days of her adult life.
Esther let out her breath in disgust. “So that’s why you left?”
“That, and because her son….” Heat roared through Susanna at the memory of Percy’s indecent proposal. Her brain shouted at her to be silent, but she couldn’t seem to make herself stop divulging the shameful truth. “Her son, Percy, wanted me for… something less respectable. I feared he would….” She relived those terrifying moments when she feared he’d burst into her bedchamber. “I feared he would not respect my refusal.”
“Good heavens,” Esther said indignantly. “I’m almost of a mind to have Kit call out that bounder.”
The thought of Kit risking his life to face Percy with swords or pistols left her cold. “I don’t want Kit to endanger himself in a duel.”
“No, of course not, but that bully must be dealt with.” Esther let out another breath of frustration. “So that’s why you left so suddenly?”
Susanna nodded. “I’d hoped to secure employment as a harpist. It’s my only real skill.”
A servant arrived. “The modiste is here, milady.”
Esther stood. “Ah, excellent. Show them to my boudoir in a minute. We’ll go there now.”
Inside a sitting room decorated in gold and red, Esther pulled a low stool out to the middle of the floor. “When the time comes to measure you, you can stand on this. We’ll pick out styles first.”
The modiste and a young assistant arrived with boxes of samples and fashion engravings. While the woman measured her, Esther helped her select an evening gown in the most glorious shade of rose. She also provided a new chemise of soft linen that made Susanna’s look dingy and ragged by comparison.
As the modiste and her assistant gathered up their supplies, a corsetiere arrived with long stays to fit to Susanna. Blushing clear down to her toenails, Susanna stripped down to her chemise and tried on the new, stiff stays. Unlike the short stays she had always worn, which laced up the front, the long stays laced down the back. A flat, hard, wooden busk, or boning, about the width of her two fingers, ran right down the middle between her breasts to separate them.
As the corsetiere pinned to make adjustments, Esther broke in, instructing the corsetiere, “Don’t cut off the areas that need to be taken in—leave enough room in the seams to let them out as she puts on weight. I will ensure she isn�
�t this thin for long.”
Susanna longed to have the curves of a woman but doubted such a miracle existed. With an embarrassed giggle, she gestured to her bust line. “I probably won’t gain weight…here.”
“Trust me, you will.” Esther smiled like a woman with secrets. “Besides, Kit doesn’t seem to mind your figure as it is.”
Was it true? Did Kit truly not mind her diminutive figure? With a glance at the corsetiere who must have heard every word, Susanna blushed so hard she feared she’d heat the entire room.
The corsetiere’s expression never changed. Perhaps she’d grown accustomed to such talk. She spoke before Susanna could reply. “All done, miss. I’ll have these adjustments done in no time.”
“Do stay and complete the modifications on the stays here,” Esther said. “We need them in time for a dinner party tonight.”
“Yes, milady. Where can I work?” asked the corsetiere.
“Have the nearest footman show you belowstairs.”
Susanna would never have imagined being such a powerful lady that a shop keeper would come to her instead of needing to go shopping.
Three hours later, Susanna, refreshed after a nap and a bath, dressed. The crisp new fabric and the different style of her new long stays certainly enhanced her diminutive figure—far better than her old short stays. The center boning and the longer, stiffened fabric felt strange, and she required Polly to lace up the back, but she couldn’t deny the improvement to her figure. It also supported her back. Of course, she’d need to keep her short stays for the eventuality that she would need to dress without the aid of a maid.
Dressed in a cream silk gown that had been made over for her, her hair coiffed, and wearing her new perfume, Susanna glided downstairs to the drawing room. Kit caught her eye. He turned, and blinked, then gazed at her as if he’d never seen a more beautiful sight. As heat rushed through her, she smiled while her heart did a dozen crazy little flips.
For tonight, she would forget her past. She would not worry about finding employment. And she most certainly would not allow fears of her relatives or the man they’d sent after her to dim her enjoyment. Tonight, she would bask in the happy warmth of being in Kit’s company.
