“No, of course not. But that’s for future-Jonas to worry about. Right now, what I want is for you to stay with me. Between your job and your friends, I don’t get to see you enough as it is.” He turned to face her, head propped on one hand. The other traced a line up and down her arm, the soft touch raising goose bumps on her skin. She shivered and he smiled. “Come on, baby. Stay with me.”
Connie looked at him, seeing only sincerity and affection on his face now. “Not tonight.” His mouth thinned, lips turning into a slash across his face. “Don’t be mad at me, Jonas. I promise I’ll see you soon.”
“Dammit, why can’t you just stay?” He rolled away to sit on the edge of the couch. Thrusting his fingers through his hair, he muttered, “Never mind. I’ll see you after I take the kid home I guess.”
Connie wavered for a moment. Then the decision was made for her by a rising wail from Adrianne’s room of, “Mommy.”
“Jesus.” Jonas stood and faced the hallway. “I hate this. If I go in, she’ll freak out because I’m not Mommy. If I don’t go in, then I’m the asshole who can’t comfort his kid.”
Connie rose to stand beside him. She reached for his hand and threaded her fingers through his. “You’re not an a-hole.” They stood and listened, but the cry wasn’t repeated. Adrianne was prone to nightmares, and sometimes the bad dreams would hold her in their grip unending. Connie had sat beside the child’s bed more than one night, stroking her hair and trying to soothe her. He was right, though. If he entered Adrianne’s room when she was caught up in a dream, it seemed to ratchet things to a higher level, extending the night terrors for his daughter. He still looked unsure, and shaking his hand gently, Connie reassured him, “You’re a good father.”
“A good father who isn’t enough for his kid, and can’t get his girlfriend to stay even when he needs her.” He shrugged. “At least she’s quiet now. I’ll head to bed. Might as well if I’m going to be alone and stuck with her by myself tomorrow.” They walked to the door where he bent and brushed a kiss across her lips. He pressed his forehead against hers, and asked a final time, “You sure I can’t talk you into it?”
“Not tonight. I need to go home.” She shook her head, feeling loss when he pulled back. “But, I’ll call in the morning, see what you two have planned.”
“Yeah.” He reached for the doorknob. “Sure.” Jonas offered her a tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “That’ll be fine.”
Once in her car, Connie turned on her lights and waved, seeing an answering wave back from his position in the doorway before he closed the door. For an every-other-weekend father, he did well with his little girl, and as she always did, Connie had enjoyed her evening with them. She knew his insistence on her staying was rooted more in his insecurities about caring for Adrianne than in wanting Connie to be there, and Connie empathized but didn’t want to put the wrong ideas into Adrianne’s head. She already clung to Connie more than her father, and Connie could see how deeply it cut Jonas at times.
She made the trip home in good time, pausing to stare up at her apartment building while she waited for the remote to raise the parking garage door. Her security was of critical importance to her father, and accepting his dictate on where to rent had been an easy concession to his overprotective desire to keep her safe. Her work as a receptionist in a small legal firm paid well enough to cover her needs. It covered the apartment and an occasional gift for Adrianne, and Connie had more than enough at the end of the day to treat herself to a daily cup of gourmet coffee.
In her apartment and behind a locked door, she sent a quick text to Jonas to let him know she’d made it safely. He didn’t ask, but it felt like the kind of things couples did. Connie stared at a picture of them she’d framed and set on a table in the living room. That had seemed a couple-type thing to do, too, and Jonas had remarked on it when he’d seen it, smiling at her in thanks for including him into her daily life. It didn’t bother her that he didn’t reciprocate, because what guy did that? Most men didn’t think of decorating at all unless it was the kind of crayon drawings Connie had taken to pinning to Jonas’ refrigerator. Another homey touch he’d smiled about.
Sunday dawned with brilliant blue sky overhead, and Connie whiled the day away reading alongside the pool. Late in the afternoon, Jonas texted to let her know he missed her, and she responded in kind, without adding anything too suggestive. Jonas would be taking Adrianne home soon, and Connie didn’t want to intrude on their day. He would be anxious about dropping his daughter off, because it was never fun. Maybe I should suggest a neutral location for future custody transfers? She bit her lip again. Or, maybe not. She had no right to recommend anything regarding his daughter. She and Jonas weren’t at that place in their relationship. They were exclusive, and very much together, but children added a layer of complexity she’d never had to navigate before. He was a great guy. Attentive, loving, and funny, but his focus had to be on making life good for Adrianne, not on Connie. She knew it, even if he didn’t understand right now.
Daddy would call it “trusting my gut.” Connie smiled at the thought as she picked up her tablet.
Anthony Rowe was a big fan of following his gut. In his nearly forty years on the police force in her hometown downstate, it had served him well. Her parents were still together, and still in love after thirty-five years of marriage. Their two girls had been born less than a year apart, and Connie was the oldest of the two, raised by parents who had doted on her and her sister. School outings were guaranteed to have one, or sometimes both Rowe parents in attendance, to the point where she and her sister felt somewhat smothered.
Family vacations, holiday gatherings, birthdays, and even milestone events, it seemed everything held a fond memory of doing things together. Connie worried at her lip, remembering last night’s scene out on Audrey’s front sidewalk. Adrianne’s questions about the argument between the two men had been mild, focused more on how her favorite uncle felt about her, but everything happening around Adrianne had to be hard for the little girl to witness, even as much as Jonas tried to shield her from it. Still, anger was anger, and Connie knew there was a lot of it flying around every time he picked Adrianne up. A very different kind of childhood.
Connie sighed and stood, still considering how she could help Jonas manage the custody handoffs as she slowly gathered the items she’d brought out with her. Thus far he’d been resistant to talking about Adrianne beyond the time spent together during his custody of the little girl. Not knowing what might have gone wrong between the adults hampered her ability to make reasonable recommendations. She paused, nearly dropping her sunglasses. There’s got to be a way.
“Hey, pretty lady. You headed inside already?” A male voice called from the side, and Connie looked up to see Taylor, one of her favorite neighbors and friends, strolling towards her. “I just got home and saw you out here.” He lifted a hand and she grinned at the sight of a small cooler. Taylor waggled his eyebrows at her. “I brought the wine.”
She tipped her head to the side. “You have a boyfriend. Why aren’t you drinking with him?” Taylor and Alden, his partner, had welcomed her to the apartments the day she moved in, and she liked the quiet couple. They were staunch advocates of a number of causes she also believed in, which made for easy conversation.
“Because somebody kicked me out of the apartment and said he has to study for his case tomorrow.” Alden was a partner at a law office downtown, and he often took on pro bono cases for his firm. “So, I came looking for you.”
“It’s prepare, not study.” She set her tablet and sunglasses back under her lounge chair and spread her towel across the plastic straps. She held up a single finger as she sat. “And I’ll have one glass of wine. One, Taylor. Don’t try to talk me into more.” At least once a week she wound up commiserating with the man over his partner’s schedule, and occasionally the grousing session would include copious amounts of alcohol. “One.” It was better to set expectations at the beginning of the evening with Taylo
r. “You hear me? One.”
“Excellent.” Taylor grinned and settled into a chair, pulling a low table between them as he arranged a cardboard pack of wine and two hard plastic glasses. “I got these glasses on sale. They’re pool-friendly, and not even you can break them. Promise.”
“Going all eco-friendly this week?” Connie grinned as she poked fun at Taylor, smiling wider when he mock-glared at her in response. “I’m kidding. Just kidding. What’s been going on in your world?”
“Not a lot.” Taylor kept his eyes on the wine as he poured, and Connie frowned. He was normally a lot more talkative. He glanced up and rolled his eyes at her expression. “Okay. I had a surrogacy reversal this week, which sucks, and I’m not over it.” He worked as a counselor at a fertility clinic and became terrifically invested in every case that crossed his desk. “The donor backed out, and it’s a nightmare. She’s family, and everyone is taking sides, which makes it a thousand times harder for all involved.” He handed her a glass, then topped his off a little more, lifting it in a salute to her. “Connie, darling, please God, drink with me and tell me only glorious things, because this real-life stuff sucks donkey balls.”
“Daddy wants to take Mom to Florida for a vacation, and she doesn’t want to go.” Connie sipped at the chilled sweet wine and waited, having baited the hook.
“Big Tony could take me to Florida instead.” As if on cue, Taylor fluttered his lashes dramatically. Connie burst out laughing. He switched to a scowl, but then lost control of the fierce expression after a moment, lips twitching as he grinned at her. “Seriously, I’d go. It’d be a sacrifice, but one I’m willing to make. Why doesn’t Mom want to go?”
“Sinkholes.” Connie shook her head. “It’s all she talked about on our last phone call. Apparently, Florida is riddled with a plague of sinkholes, and she’s decided to be afraid of them.”
“The woman has a valid point.” He drank from his glass, draining it, then topped Connie’s up before filling his again. “Sinkholes are something you wouldn’t even see coming. Talk about one of nature’s sneak attacks of the worst kind. Wasn’t there some guy killed when his house went in one? Fell into it during the middle of the night. I can’t remember, but I don’t think they ever found the body.” He shuddered. “Journey to the bottom of ain’t-never-happening. It’s a disappointment, but you’re going to have to count me out for Florida. Call and tell Big Tony I send my regrets, but I can’t make the trip after all.”
She laughed and sipped, then leaned over to gently bump her shoulder into his. “Think of all the good you’d do down in the center of the earth. There’s got to be oppression of some kind going on. You can save the moles and gophers from whatever is keeping them from fully realizing their internal selves.” She glanced at him to see a smile playing around the corners of his mouth. “Taylor, the savior of the gopher’s holes.”
“Uh, no. I’ll stay away from those holes, thank you very much. Think of all the good I can do here.” He twisted to glare at her. “Dammit. I feel better. You did that on purpose.”
“I did.” She sipped. “For every surrogate that backs out, there are a dozen that don’t, because of the screening you helped make a mandatory part of the process. You might forget how hard you worked to get that law voted on and passed into effect, but I don’t.” She sipped again, then passed her glass back to him. “I’m proud of you, Taylor. And you know what?”
“What?” He finished the wine in his glass and placed it in the cooler, then lifted hers in another silent salute.
“That couple who had their dreams cut short is going to have the best and most tireless advocate on their team they’ve ever dreamed of. I have every confidence that you’ll find them a perfect match, and a year from now, we’ll be celebrating a happy baby’s birth.” Connie leaned in and touched her knuckles to his cheek. “Because that’s just how you roll. Take the hits and keep on going. You’re amazing, and I love you for it.” She leaned back and scrunched up her nose. “And you gave me too much wine. I need to head in now, for sure. Otherwise, I’ll stay out here until I embarrass myself and you.”
“Thank you.” Taylor watched as she gathered her things and stood when she did. “Want me to walk you in?”
“Nah, this is the safest complex in town, remember?” She adjusted her grip on the tablet. “Big Tony said so.”
“Creeps are everywhere.” He bent and picked up the cooler, carrying the half-full glass with his other hand. “I’ll feel better if I do. Plus, it might earn me points with Big Tony if you pass along the knowledge that I’m looking out for his baby girl. Maybe he’ll pick somewhere without sinkholes next year, in which case, I need to bank the goodwill for when I invite myself on vacation.”
“Would you stop calling him that?” She pulled open the door and shivered as the overchilled air poured over her bare shoulders. “It sounds pervy. That’s my dad.”
“Big Tony.” He drawled the two words, and they both burst out laughing. Once they reached the elevator, Taylor was quiet on the short ride. At her floor, she got off the car, smiled, and had turned to say goodbye when he stepped into the doorway, stopping the automatic closing. “See you soon, Connie girl. Sleep well.”
“See you. Tell Alden hello.” She waved as she entered her apartment, hearing the doors finally swoosh closed. “What a nice guy.”
***
Jonas
It just makes it harder, he thought as he turned onto Audrey’s street. Fifteen blocks to go. “Almost home, kid. Anything happening over the next two weeks that you’re excited about?” Rustling from behind him and Jonas caught a glimpse of Adrianne’s face in the mirror. He gave it several seconds of silence, then prompted, “Answer me.”
“No, sir.” Flat and toneless, that was all Adrianne gave him.
Jonas sighed.
“You had another bad dream last night.” Her head moved in what might be a nod. “Do you remember what you dreamed about? Maybe if you’d talk it through, you wouldn’t be afraid anymore.” She murmured something, but too low for him to catch. “What?”
“How much longer?”
Jonas shook his head. She wouldn’t talk to him, she never did. Connie she’d talk to all day long, which made life easier. Too bad she didn’t come back over today. “Nearly home.”
“Uncle Cole,” Adrianne shouted from the back seat, and Jonas flinched at the excited volume. “That’s Uncle Cole’s truck.”
Just perfect.
***
Cole
He stood on Audrey’s little cement porch and watched as the sedan approached down the street. He could see Addy bouncing around in the back seat and smiled. God, I love that little girl. The front seat next to asshole was empty, and his smile slipped away. The visits were easier on Addy when asshole’s girlfriend was along, so her absence at the drop-off meant Audrey was probably in line for a night of nightmares.
What a woman like that sees in this asshole I’ll never understand. Miss Connie, as Addy called her, was gorgeous and seemed genuinely kind. Like yesterday, when asshole picked Addy up and wanted to keep her an extra four hours because of a game on TV. They’d been arguing about it, because even if it was ridiculous, once asshole got his teeth into an idea, he just wouldn’t let it go, and Cole had noted the moment Miss Connie decided she, and Addy, had heard enough. I like that she takes care of Addy.
The car parked and Addy’s door flew open. She didn’t wait for asshole to get out of the car, just released her own safety belt and climbed out on her own, bag in hand. Then her little legs were a blur as she flung herself up the walk and into Cole’s arms. Face to his neck, she murmured, “I’m glad you’re here, Uncle Cole.”
“I’m glad I’m here, too, baby girl. Glad you’re here. Home. Glad you’re home. Now, let’s get you inside to Mommy.” He turned and went into the house, closing the door behind him and shutting out asshole and the rest of the world.
Chapter Two
Connie
Connie blinked at the display of h
er phone. It was just after seven o’clock in the morning. She checked the time again, then verified it was indeed Saturday, as she’d remembered. She stretched and changed position, trying to decide what had woken her. A hand touched the small of her back and she startled, then sagged backwards into Jonas’ familiar arms.
“Hey,” she said, sleep giving her voice a whiskey rasp that sounded sexy to her ears. Jonas must have felt the same way, because he settled against her back, his hand moving to her hip where he started tracing her bare skin in random circles.
His lips grazed along the column of her throat, and he nipped at her earlobe before telling her, “Mornin’.” His own voice was gravel-filled, and Connie shivered at the masculine sound. “What time is it?”
“Seven. Still early.” She reached for his hand, bringing it up between her breasts. “Lots of time.”
He pressed his hips forwards, and she shivered again. “Yes, there is.”
An hour later, she fixed herself a cup of coffee and turned to lean against the countertop. She watched as he lifted his mug and drained it. “We need to go, Connie. Go get dressed.”
“You want me to come along today?” He was due to pick Adrianne up soon, and Connie hadn’t dressed, expecting him to want to spend the weekend with his daughter. “It’s your birthday.”
“Yeah,” he said, placing his mug next to his breakfast dishes in the sink. “Exactly.”
“I thought you were taking Adrianne to the zoo.” Pressing her fingers against one temple, Connie drew small, tight circles against the sensitive skin. Her neck was tight, and she felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. “A daddy and daughter day.”
Hard Focus Page 2
