I twisted so he couldn’t touch me. “And how did you even know where I was?”
It would be one thing if they’d shown up at the boarding house, but they’d gone to Billy’s.
“Blaine was so worried about you that he hired a private eye to come check on you.” My mom sighed like it was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard.
“Tina.” Blaine snapped, obviously knowing I would view his behavior as less romantic and more stalker.
“You had someone following me?” All the times I’d thought I felt someone watching me, I’d been right.
“He was worried about you.”
“He wasn’t worried about me, Mom! He wanted to keep tabs on me.” My arms dropped to my sides, then flew up as I shifted toward Blaine. “That’s insane. You do realize that, don’t you? We are not together. We will never be together.”
“You’re just being emotional. I know I made a mistake, but—”
“It’s not about your mistake!”
“Fancy, sweetie, just listen—”
“Mom. You need to go.” I opened the door, I could only deal with one crazy at a time. “Go take a walk or something. I need to talk to Blaine alone.”
She looked between us. Blaine nodded and she left. It was good to see, once again, where her loyalties lay.
I shut the door harder than I meant to behind her and paused for a moment to take a deep breath and collect my thoughts. I obviously needed to take a new approach. I needed to step back and stop letting my emotions take the wheel. I decided to do what I did best. Litigate. As calmly, and unaffected as I could possibly be, I began the way I would any opening argument, by stating a fact that was the foundation of my defense. “Blaine, you don’t want to marry me.”
“Yes, I do.” He argued. “I still love you. I don’t care if you had a fling. I forgive you.”
You forgive me?!
Anger flared up in me but I quickly extinguished it. I needed to remain detached if I was going to win this case. The “case” being me getting my sanity back, and getting this egocentric sociopath out of my life. Okay, he wasn’t really a sociopath, but he was definitely an egomaniac, and at the moment, that was causing me just as much grief.
“Even still, this isn’t going to work because, you don’t love me,” I calmly stated.
“Yes, I do.”
“That’s impossible. You can’t love me because you don’t know me.”
“I know you. We’ve been together for eight years. We’ve lived together for four.”
“Okay, fine. What’s my favorite color?”
He waved his hand dismissively. “Your favorite color? I don’t know. Why does that matter?”
“Because it does. What is my favorite color?”
“Pink,” he guessed.
“What time do I wake up every morning?”
“Six, when the alarm goes off,” he said confidently.
“You mean when your alarm goes off.” I corrected. “What am I most scared of?”
“Spiders. You don’t like spiders.”
“Have I ever asked you to kill a spider for me?”
“No, but no one likes spiders.”
“What was the worst day of my life?”
“The day you walked into my office and saw me…”
He didn’t finish his sentence but I knew what he was referring to.
“No. You didn’t get one of those right. And you know what? It’s not your fault. I didn’t let you see me, not the real me. And you know what else? If you asked me the same things about you, I wouldn’t know the answers either. We don’t love each other because we don’t know each other. Not really.”
“So what? My parents don’t love each other and they’ve been together for forty years,” he argued. “You don’t have to be in love to be married.”
“Maybe you don’t. But I do.”
As I said the words that I’d thought I’d be saying at the end of an aisle, not during a breakup, I knew that the only way I would ever say them in the original context was if Billy was standing in front of me.
CHAPTER 51
Billy
“I ordered a mojito.”
I looked down and saw that I’d just served a black and tan. It wasn’t the first mistake I’d made tonight and I doubted it would be the last.
“Right, sorry.”
“I’ve got it.” Cash appeared beside me and grabbed a Collins glass. “Hank’s in the office. He wants to talk to you.”
I checked the time. It was half past midnight. My night was almost over. Whatever he needed to say could wait until the morning. “I’ll talk to him later. We’re slammed.”
“Go talk to your brother. You’re not a lot of help, anyway.”
I wished I could argue, but I knew I couldn’t. I was getting more orders wrong than I was getting right. With a frustrated sigh I poured the black and tan down the sink.
As I walked down the hall to the office I remembered Reagan following me out as I carried Cheyenne to my truck. So much had happened since that night. It felt like a lifetime ago.
I’d known then that she was special, that there was something different about her. But I never would’ve guessed that I’d be this in love with her.
As soon as I walked in I found Hank seated behind my desk. He looked up when he heard the door. “Have you heard from Reagan?”
I shook my head no, feeling like I’d just been called into the principal’s office. After she’d left, I’d come straight to the bar because I hadn’t wanted to answer a million questions from Jimmy. The last person that I thought would show up asking about her was Hank.
“You love her.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.
I didn’t respond. What was I going to say? Yes, I love her. And right now she’s with the man that she was supposed to be marrying tomorrow? Or actually, since it was midnight, today.
Knowing that Reagan had an ex and meeting him face to face were two very different things. Now he wasn’t an abstract thing that I could pretend didn’t exist. He was real. And he couldn’t be more different than me.
Physically, we looked nothing alike. Besides being a couple inches shorter than me, his blond hair was cut short and styled within an inch of his life. My brown hair always looked like it was a few weeks overdue for a trim. My “personal style” could be best described as “just tumbled out of bed” and I liked it that way.
He had ice blue, deep-set eyes and a clean-shaven face. Stubble covered my jaw and my eyes were the same color as a shot of whiskey.
But that wasn’t what I was talking about. All of that was surface shit. He was polished and refined. I had more beer in my fridge than actual food. He had a law degree. I had a high school diploma. He had a manicure and I had calluses. His watch cost more than my truck.
I just couldn’t fathom a world where someone could’ve loved him and then also love me. There was no question that Reagan had loved Blaine. Hell, if she hadn’t walked in on him, she would probably just be getting home from her bachelorette party.
But me? I had no idea how she felt about me. I thought I could tell from the connection we shared but maybe Jimmy had been right. Maybe I was a rebound. Maybe I was just projecting what I felt onto Reagan.
“What are you going to do about it?” Hank asked, snapping me back to the present moment.
“What am I going to do about what?”
“About Reagan.”
“What about Reagan?”
“Are you gonna be with her?”
“What is this, TMZ?”
“I just…” Hank looked down at the desk as he ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Hank had never given a shit about anyone I’d been with. And the closest thing to a heart-to-heart we’d ever had was when he gave me a box of condoms on my fourteenth birthday and told me he didn’t want to be an uncle. It was odd but, I had to admit, kinda sweet seeing him worried about me.
“I don’t think she’s going to g
et back together with her ex,” I half-heartedly assured him. At least I hoped she wasn’t.
“I’m not talking about that asshole. I’m talking about the curse.”
“The curse?” I started laughing, thinking he was fucking around. But when his jaw ticked I realized he wasn’t. “Wait. Are you being serious?”
“I saw you today, with Reagan. You know who it reminded me of? Pop, how he was with Mom. You saw what happened to him when she died.”
“I think that has more to do with him being an alcoholic than a make-believe curse.”
“I’m just saying. This is the only girl you’ve ever had any real feelings for, and the first time we have a family dinner, her fiancé shows up.”
“Ex-fiancé.”
“I like Reagan. I do. But I can’t see what happened to Mom, Uncle Will, or Pop happen to you.” He inhaled deeply and I could see the tortured look in his eyes.
If this was about something else, I’d give him shit and ask him if it was his time of the month. But I could see that this was really bothering him. He was genuinely concerned for my well-being. “Hank, I can’t promise I’m not going to die. But I can promise you that no matter what happens, I won’t end up like Pop.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Yes I can. Because I have you. And Jimmy, but don’t tell him I said that. You guys would never let that happen. Just like I wouldn’t let that happen to either of you. If things work out with Reagan, then great. And if they don’t, it’ll suck balls but I’ll deal with it.”
Hank was silent for a few moments before he stood and headed for the door. There was still a dark cloud of doubt shadowing his face, but it seemed like he’d said what he’d come here to say. I figured he’d leave and we’d never talk about this Taster’s Choice moment again, but he surprised me by pulling me into a hug.
He gave me two hard pats on my back, then walked out without saying another word, leaving me confused and questioning everything I’d thought I knew about Hank in his wake.
I stood in place, not sure of what had just happened. I’d never doubted my brother loved me, but he’d never shown it like that before. And I’d had no idea that he’d ever given any real credence to the Comfort Curse. I was still trying to process that new information when Cash stuck his head through the door.
“There’s a woman at the bar asking for you.”
“If it’s not Reagan, I don’t want to see her.”
“She said her name is Tina and that she’s Reagan’s mom.”
“Her mom?”
Cash shrugged. “That’s what she said.”
On my way out to meet her, I was trying to think of all the reasons that Reagan’s mom would show up here, and none of them were good.
Was Reagan hurt?
Was Reagan gone?
Was Reagan going to get married to a man that would do something as stupid as cheat on the most amazing woman in the world?
By the time I made it to the bar, I had worked myself up into near panic.
“Is Reagan okay?” I asked as I approached the woman who’d come to my house to talk her daughter into getting back with her ex.
“Fancy’s fine.” She assured me and held out her hand. “I’m Tina, by the way. I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself earlier.”
I shook her hand. “Hi, I’m Billy.”
“Hi, Billy. Can we go somewhere a little quieter to talk?”
My stomach dropped as I nodded and ushered Tina back to where I’d just been. My office.
After we sat down she asked. “Do you know my daughter’s favorite color?”
I stared at her, wondering if this was some sort of trick question. “Yes.”
“What is it?” she asked as emotion began filling her bottom lids.
“Yellow,” I answered.
Her lips pursed. “Do you know what she is most scared of?”
“Snakes.”
“Do you know what time she wakes up every morning?”
“Is she okay? What is this about—” I started to stand.
“She’s fine.” She lifted her hand and repeated. “Do you know what time she wakes up in the morning?”
“Yes.” I slowly lowered back down. “Five twelve.”
Her lower lip trembled as she took in a shaky breath. “Do you know what the worst day of her life was?”
“Yes.”
“Was it the day that Hal died?”
I thought about lying to her and saying yes, but for some reason I didn’t. “No. That was the second worst.”
She gripped the edges of the chair as if bracing herself for what she was going to hear next. “What was the worst day?”
“I don’t think it’s my place to say.” It was one thing to tell Reagan’s mom her favorite color, or what she was scared of. It was totally different to reveal something so personal, especially since it involved the person I was telling.
Two crocodile sized tears fell down Tina’s face, she wiped them with the back of her hand. “Please, Billy. I know you don’t know me from a can of paint, but I’m asking, no begging, you to tell me. I haven’t been a good mama to Fancy. If anything, she’s the one to always look after me. And it is killing me that I don’t know my own baby. I don’t have any idea what the worst day of her life was.” Her shoulders shook as she cried silently.
Years behind the bar had made me a pretty good judge of whether people were putting on a show or if they were for real. Tina might not’ve been a good mom, but she was being sincere now. Maybe it was because I lost my mama that seeing one in this much pain killed me, or maybe I was just a sucker. I would beg Reagan to forgive me later, but I had to tell this broken woman what she was asking.
I handed her a handkerchief I kept in my back pocket.
“Thank you.” She sniffed and wiped her face.
“It was when she was six years old. She woke up and you were unconscious on the couch. She found a bottle of pills beside you and called the ambulance. She thought you were dead.”
“Oh my God.” Tina gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.
“It gets worse.” I warned her. “Do you want me to continue?”
She nodded.
“She called 911 and when the ambulance showed up, they were trying to resuscitate you. She got scared and decided to run to her babysitter’s.”
“Miss Darla,” Tina breathed.
“I think so, yeah. On her way she saw her father. He was putting signs up for an open house. She confronted him and he rejected her. She thought you were gone and her father didn’t want her. That was the worst day of her life.”
Instead of breaking down completely, like I’d expected her to do, she took a deep breath and sat up taller. “Thank you for telling me. I just have one more question.”
“What’s that?” My stomach turned at what she might want me to reveal next.
“Do you love my daughter?”
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. That was the easiest question she could’ve asked. “I love your daughter.”
CHAPTER 52
Reagan
“There you are!” I exclaimed as I opened the door. “It’s after one. Where have you been? I was calling you. I even went out looking for you.”
My mom walked into my room and looked around. “Did Blaine leave?”
“Yeah. Four hours ago. Where were you? I’ve been worried.” Logically, I knew she was a grown woman who theoretically could take care of herself. But, when I called her phone and went out looking for her, I’d had flashbacks of all the times I hadn’t known where she was when I was a kid. I’d gotten that same sick, panicky feeling.
“Sorry. I sort of lost track of time.”
She lowered down onto the bed and for the first time I noticed how sad she looked. Heartbroken, actually. Even though I knew that it wasn’t really my fault, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty. “Look Mama, I’m sorry. I know that you really love Blaine and wanted me to—”
“I don’t love Bl
aine. I never even liked Blaine.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“He’s a condescending prick that thinks his shit don’t stink.”
“Mama!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“What? It’s the truth.”
I stared at her in shock and disbelief. The woman sitting in front of me was not the woman who raised me. I didn’t know who this woman was or what she’d done with my mother. Feeling a little off balance, I decided to take a seat in the chair across from her.
My mom’s head was down and when she lifted it I could see tears in her eyes. “He loves you, you know.”
There she was. Tina was back. “You just said that he’s a condescend—”
“Not Blaine.” She waved her hand. “Billy. Billy loves you.”
“How do you…what are you talking about?”
“I went to see him. At his bar.”
“You went to see Billy? Why?”
Great. Not only had Blaine and my mom shown up at his house and ruined his family dinner. Now my mom had gone and bothered him at work.
She let out a long breath and ran her hands down her jean-clad thighs. “I went because I saw the two of you together.”
“You saw us at his house?” I was wondering what would’ve possibly possessed her to seek him out after that brief interaction.
“Yes, but I’m talking about seeing you two in the pictures that the detective Blaine hired had of ya’ll.” She pulled her phone out of her purse and unlocked the screen before handing it to me.
I scrolled through and saw pictures of Billy and I leaving the bar the first night with Cheyenne. There were shots of us in front of the boarding house, the day he took me to go look at his house. Some of us leaving the law firm together the day he took me for a picnic. Several pics of him carrying me down the stairs on the pier after the crab feed.
I cringed at how embarrassing those were. I had no memory of that night at all.
And then the last ones were of us standing outside the barn after Farm Strong. The final one was when he kissed me. In the moment, it had happened so quick, but the freeze frame looked really passionate.
Panty Dropper Page 29
