by K. Ryan
“Ahem.”
Finn’s lips halted and we both turned at the same time to see Mrs. Johanssen in her fuzzy pink pajamas, both hands on her hips, and her mouth set in a firm, appalled line.
“Excuse me,” she snapped. “But I think maybe you should take that somewhere else. Somewhere other than the hallway!”
I winced as my left leg hit the ground again. Finn backed away from me, tucked his hands behind his back, and shot our elderly neighbor a quick, pained look over his shoulder.
“Sorry, Mrs. Johanssen,” I called out with a grimace.
“Yeah, uh, sorry,” Finn added.
Mrs. Johanssen narrowed her eyes at him. She was not convinced.
“It won’t happen again,” I tried lamely.
“Actually,” Finn scratched the back of his head as he spoke, a sly grin crossing his face. “It probably will happen again.”
I smacked him on the shoulder and turned back to Mrs. Johanssen, but she was already batting a hand dismissively at us as she disappeared inside her apartment. Before I had a chance to do much else, Finn was backing me into my door. So, on pure impulse alone, I gripped his neck and pulled him to me again, smiling into his kiss.
It had been so long since I’d done this...just kiss like this. Maybe I’d never been kissed like this up against my front door either, but this was so nice. Going slow, taking our time, it was right. There was no need to hurry. No need to rush and whip our clothes off like there might not be a tomorrow.
I had a pretty good feeling there would be a tomorrow with him. And a day after that and after that and after that.
“I really should get going,” Finn murmured against my lips now. “Especially before you attack me again.”
“Hey, I can’t help it,” I laughed. “Sorry.”
“Trust me, Em, you never have to apologize for attacking me. Anytime. Any place. Do it. Seriously. Do it.”
My shoulders shook with laughter and he cocked an eyebrow at me.
“You think I’m joking? I’m dead serious, Em. I mean it. Attack me. Get all up on me.”
Now, my head fell back against the door, laughing as his words washed over me. Oh God, if only...if only…
“But seriously though, Em, let’s face it, if we keep this up, I’m never leaving and I’m gonna end up coming inside your apartment and I don’t know if…” he trailed off, searching for the right words that wouldn’t offend or embarrass me.
“If I’m ready for that?” I offered with a smile.
“Right,” he exhaled. “But, before I go, what do you wanna do tomorrow?”
My eyebrows lifted. “Tomorrow? What makes you think I wanna see you tomorrow?”
“Emma,” he levelled that sexy, crooked grin on me and I leaned my hips into him a little more, unable to control myself. “You wanna see me tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “I wanna see you tomorrow. But I have to work the dinner shift tomorrow night and I probably won’t be home until at least 10:30.”
“Okay,” he shrugged. “What about Tuesday?”
“Tuesday I’ve got the lunch shift.”
His lips curled victoriously. “Tuesday it is then.”
“Hmm, what should we do?”
“I don’t know. What’s something you haven’t done in awhile?”
There he went again, drawing me out of my safety net and pushing me back out into the real world.
“Let me think. I haven’t seen a movie in a theatre in a while. I used to really like doing that…”
A wistful smile crossed his face and I knew he hadn’t missed the words used to. Past tense.
“A movie it is. What do you say we head over to the theater at around 5:30? You’ll be home from work by then, right? We could just pick the first thing that’s playing at that time and go with it?”
My lips curved up into a grin. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
I’d never really been that spontaneous before, but with Finn, I found myself doing and saying a lot of things I might not have, if not for him, and that was probably more significant to my life than I was ready to admit.
“Okay,” Finn leaned in to kiss me one last time. “It’s a date.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
I tapped my chin and squinted at the marquee in thought. “What do you think? Crappy sci-fi action movie, crappy romantic comedy, crappy zombie movie, crappy superhero movie, or crappy family-friendly animated movie?”
“Hmm,” Finn hovered over my shoulder and rested a hand on my hip. “I’m gonna have to veto the crappy romantic comedy and the crappy family-friendly animated movie. Crappy superhero movie or crappy sci-fi action movie?”
“Let’s go with the crappy superhero movie. I’m kinda sick of the crappy sci-fi action movies.”
“Got it,” he grinned.
He shot me a wink as he dipped into his back pocket for his wallet to pay for our tickets with one hand and kept the other firmly lodged onto my hip. I couldn’t remember the last time something as simple as a guy taking me to a movie with his arm wrapped around me felt so good. Made me feel so happy. So alive.
In reality, it was just a crappy movie. Just greasy movie theatre hot dogs. Just salty popcorn. Just sweet hand-holding as Finn led me to a bench in the lobby. But I guess in my reality, it was everything. Acceptance. Ease. Butterflies. Fun. Warmth.
Being with Finn was effortless. I didn’t have to worry about anything. I wasn’t looking over my shoulder. I wasn’t stressing out about what someone might be whispering in his ear about me. I was just in the moment, just happy to be there.
“I forgot how much I loved these things,” Finn mumbled in between bites.
I don’t know how he managed it, but he still kept his arm around me even as he attacked the hot dog in his other hand. We still had a half an hour until our movie started, but at this point, who cared if we made it into the theatre or not? Just sitting out here on this bench with a guy who was so beautiful it hurt to look at him sometimes, a cheap hot dog in my hand and a tub of buttery popcorn in the other, that was enough for me tonight.
“So tomorrow is poor contraband’s big day, huh?” Finn was asking me now.
“What?” I’d been so lost in my dream world that it took me a second to register the words. “Oh. Yeah. Tomorrow’s the big snip-snip.”
Finn winced and shifted stiffly on the bench, like just the thought alone caused him actual pain.
“That poor guy. You’re gonna have him emasculated before he’s even been living with you for two full weeks.”
“Oh, come on,” I laughed and tossed a piece of popcorn in my mouth. “The sooner we get it over with the better. I still can’t believe that little shit pissed on the carpet literally right before we left.”
“Aw, I think that was just his way of saying he didn’t want you to leave,” Finn shrugged and proceeded to shove the rest of his hot dog in his mouth.
“Yeah, well, I think the two of you had a little too much fun watching me scrub cat piss out of my carpet.”
Finn just smirked and tucked me tighter into his shoulder. “I did have a pretty good view.”
My eyes narrowed, remembering the way I’d been on my hands and knees on the carpet in front of him while he held a smugly indignant Oliver underneath his arm. Yeah, he’d probably liked that a little too much.
“Right,” I allowed, twisting my lips in annoyance. That pretty much disappeared when Finn’s warm fingers curled around my shoulder and sent little icy-hot chills down my arms.
“You can’t really blame me, can you?” Finn murmured in my ear. “Don’t answer that. So, anyway...declawing, yay or nay?”
I shook my head vehemently. “Nay. Definitely nay. Did you know they cut off the cat’s first knuckle?” I stretched my fingers out to demonstrate a chopping motion against my own knuckles and shuddered. “That’s so terrible. It seems more like torture than anything—I can’t even imagine doing that to him and letting him run around with only part of his front paws.”
Finn tugged me closer to him
and kissed the side of my head. “He made the right choice picking your patio that night. It was like he took one look at you and thought to himself, ‘Now here’s a girl I can con into letting me live with her. Maybe I’ll have to get my balls chopped off, but at least I won’t lose my paws.’”
“Oh no,” I laughed. “When you say it like that it doesn’t sound so good.”
“Nah, you’re doing everything right, Em,” Finn smiled warmly. “He’s lucky you didn’t ship him off to the pound.”
“Well, we’re in this together now, him and me,” I shrugged and took another handful of popcorn just for good measure. “I’m attached. What can I say?”
“Allergies still holding up?”
“Yep. I still can’t believe it. I’ve had cat allergies for almost 15 years of my life—this stray cat with a double ear infection and worms shows up on my patio and, two weeks later, I’m cured? I mean, I still pop a 24-hour allergy pill every day, but...I just don’t get it.”
Finn’s eyes shimmered back at me with warm admiration. “I guess he was just meant to be your cat.”
“Maybe.”
And maybe this whole fate thing wasn’t such bullshit after all.
“Come on,” he gestured with his head towards the hall. “We got a crappy movie to see.”
By the time we settled into our seats in the back row, the previews were already playing. We got comfortable, situated all our snacks, and Finn had his arm wound around my shoulders just as the opening credits started. The movie lamely attempted to get the party started with a bang. Well, a shoot-out. Big deal.
“You know, I think this movie isn’t just gonna be crappy,” I whispered to Finn. “It’s gonna be shitty.”
Finn barked out a laugh, prompting the guys two rows ahead of us to turn around and shoot him the stink-eye.
“Keep it down, Finnegan.”
“My name’s not Finnegan,” he muttered back to me. “It’s just Finn. Sling only calls me that to piss me off.”
“I guess that’s only fair.”
“I guess you’re right.”
We turned our attention back to the movie for a few seconds and that was about all it took for my boredom to set in.
“You know,” I leaned in closer to his shoulder to keep my voice down. “Where are all the women superheroes? It’s just not right.”
Finn chucked under his breath and the closeness, the tingle of his breath so close to my ear made me momentarily forget where I was. “In these movies, the women are usually either the sidekicks, the brains, or the damsels in distress. There’s not really an in between.”
“You’re absolutely right,” I shook my head and waved a hand at the giant screen in front of us. “It’s complete bullshit, too. Why can’t a woman ever be the hero of her own story? Why does it always have to be the man jumping off buildings and stopping the villain from world domination?”
“Fair enough,” Finn laughed lightly as he reached over to grab a handful of popcorn from the tub in my lap. “I’ll give you that.”
“And you know what else really pisses me off?” I didn’t give Finn a chance to answer, but still managed to keep my voice down to a harsh whisper. “Women are always the ones that end up getting hurt, kidnapped, and/or murdered in these movies. The men either end up defending them, saving them, or mourning them. Women should be able to save themselves...the whole thing is so stupid.”
“You know, some of them can defend themselves,” Finn offered. “Black Widow in The Avengers for instance. Catwoman. Batgirl. Any of the chicks in X-Men. Elecktra in Daredevil.”
“Right, but did any of them get their own movie that people actually liked?”
“I see your point,” Finn laughed, muffling as much of it as he could. “Nobody and I mean nobody liked the Catwoman and Elecktra movies.”
“Even Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns is bullshit,” I huffed. “Nobody notices her until she gets all sexed up in that DIY plastic catsuit. Then all of a sudden she’s this sex kitten—pun intended—and everybody’s panting after her. Her entire identity in that movie completely revolves around the way men see her. And! And! By the end, she’s so hung up on Bruce Wayne that she completely foregoes the whole reason she even became a crazy sex kitten in the first place—to get revenge on crazy-haired Christopher Walken! Even when they’re bad, they still end up being good—all for a man. Don’t get me started on Anne Hathaway in that last Batman movie either. Why does it always have to revolve men and sex? Why can’t women just save themselves for themselves?”
Finn’s eyes bulged out a little in his head and he leaned back in his chair, his lips curling up as he drank me in before dipping his head down to my ear to murmur, “That was the most awesome movie tirade I’ve ever heard. Please don’t stop. Tell me everything. Lay it all out there, Em.”
I might’ve been laughing, or at the very least, doing everything I could to stifle the noise as best I could, but deep down, I knew all that tirade really amounted to was one big, fat projection. The only way women could defend and stand up for themselves in superhero movies and in real life was if they had the strength to do it. The follow-through. The ambition and the motivation. The grit and the backbone. I didn’t have any of those things and if the last 26 years of my life was any indication, I probably never would.
Finn bumped my shoulder, shaking me out of my reverie. “Hey. You okay?”
I nodded a little too quickly. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
He might’ve nodded, but Finn’s eyes watched me a little too carefully with a little too much concern and that made me a little too panicked. Questions would come next and even though it was probably inevitable, I wanted to put off answering those questions for as long as humanly possible. I just wanted us to stay like this, happy and enjoying each other’s company with Finn looking at me with respect and admiration instead of disgust.
Was I always going to feel this way? When was I going to stop allowing myself to be ruled by the way other people saw me? Was I always going to be this frustrated and disappointed in myself? Was I always going to feel this...unworthy?
“This is my favorite part,” Finn leaned into me now, once again drawing me away from my thoughts as he grabbed another handful of popcorn. “The unveiling of all the gadgets...fancy guns, high-tech suits, invisibility cloaks, robotic implants. God, I wish I was a superhero sometimes.”
“You mean when you’re not secretly wishing you were Aaron Rodgers?”
Finn shot me a wary glance out of the corner of his eye, but the sly smile was still there.
I nudged him with my elbow. “Then you’d be able to save the world and all the damsels in distress, huh?”
Finn just batted a hand out in the air. “Maybe the world, but I’ll let the damsels save themselves for once.”
“Good call,” I nodded. “They can do it. They just need the opportunity, you know?”
“Yeah,” he told me softly. “I think you’re right about that.”
The guys two rows ahead of us abruptly turned around in their seats and glared menacingly at us.
“Would you guys shut the hell up?” the balding one whispered furiously. “Some of us are actually trying to watch the damn movie here!”
Finn sprung forward, nearly dumping the whole popcorn tub into the aisle, and had a hand on the seat in front of us before I could stop him. “Hey—”
My free hand shot out to his chest. Now, I was the one almost dumping all the popcorn into the aisle and I pushed him away from the chair. “Finn, don’t. Just let it go, okay?”
All my anxieties, my insecurities, and my past came raging back at me at once and my mind flashed to Noah, sitting in a jail cell with his head in his hands and his knuckles torn to pieces. While the two situations couldn’t be more different and even though I honestly didn’t believe this particular situation would escalate to that point, I wasn’t about to let Finn head down that road.
Luckily, Finn didn’t need anymore convincing and he dropped back in his seat as I w
aved to the guys in front of us.
“I’m really sorry,” I whispered to them. “We’ll shut up now. I promise.”
They grumbled something I didn’t catch and shifted forward in their seats, finally putting the matter to rest.
“Sorry, Em,” Finn mumbled to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders again to tuck me in closer.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “Maybe we should just watch the shitty movie now.”
Finn cocked a devilish eyebrow at me and tugged the popcorn tub out of my hands to set it down on the floor. His lips grazed my ear and my eyes fluttered shut at the contact.
“We’re already the noisy couple in the back row,” he murmured in my ear. “We might as well be the couple making out in the back row, too.”
“Oh, I see how it is,” I snickered and had to chew on my bottom lip to keep from jumping on him right there. “So that’s why you were all about seeing a movie tonight, huh?”
Finn just lifted a shoulder and then practically tugged me all the way across the armrest. “I saw an opportunity and I took it. Can you blame me?”
He didn’t give me a chance to answer because his lips had already sealed over my mouth, stealing the words away from me, and gingerly slipped his tongue in between my lips. Here we were, making out in the back row of a movie theatre like a couple of teenagers. It was beautiful. And fun. And by sheer willpower alone, most of our limbs stayed in our seats.
We didn’t see the rest of the movie.
. . .
“Here you go, Ed,” I told him brightly as I poured him another cup of coffee.
Despite the grunt I got in return, my grin didn’t falter once. All morning I’d been walking on air, flitting around from table to table, and smiling like an idiot. Mara was already onto me, but I didn’t really care.
I guess I just couldn’t help the easy elation that had me practically skipping around the café.
The night before kept flashing through my mind and that silly grin was almost permanently plastered onto my face. Popcorn, greasy hot dogs, two Mountain Dews, a crappy superhero movie, Finn kissing me through half the movie...all the makings of a perfect date.
