by Ally Nelson
Chapter Two
Lindsey sat in her class doodling on her notepad, drawing swirls and circles and snails as she tried to concentrate on what her lecturer was saying. Her friend Sara nudged her in the ribs and she sat bolt upright.
“What?” Lindsey hissed at her.
“He asked you a question, dumbass,” Sara hissed back.
The confused Lindsey turned and looked to the front of the lecture hall, where the professor was now stood staring directly at her. She’d completely missed the question and actually had no idea what he was talking about.
“Well?” He asked her again. “What’s her main motivation? You looked as though you were finding the whole thing incredibly fascinating so…I thought I’d ask you first.”
“Her…her main motivation is…uh…love, sir,” she mumbled nervously, grateful that she’d actually read the book and knew enough to be able to answer. “She…she wants to fall in love with someone. It doesn’t matter who it is. She’s just sort of…in love with the idea of being in love, I guess.”
“Really? Do you think so?” the lecturer queried her interpretation of the text. “Don’t you think she…just wants to be needed, to be wanted by someone? She feels unattractive, inadequate…”
“Well…yeah, there’s that too but…under the surface, the uh…the subtext…I think she’s looking for something more than just sex, y’know?”
“Mm…” He nodded, smiling slightly. “Very good. Very good. Now uh…moving on. Next lesson, I want you all to…”
Lindsey zoned out again as he started to explain their assignment, breathing a massive sigh of relief that she’d managed to get away with it. Her head just wasn’t with it today. She was glad when it was the end of the lesson and she could pack her books in her bag and get out.
“Coming for coffee?” Sara asked, heading towards the canteen.
“Yeah, why not,” Lindsey agreed with a nod, humming a tune that had been on the radio that morning under her breath.
“What was up with you in that lecture? You looked like you were gonna fall asleep.”
“Yeah, I’m just…I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I guess I didn’t sleep all that well last night.”
“More like you had another erotic dream, you mean,” Sara gave her a knowing smile.
The two of them had been friends since early on in their high school years and, having gone to the same college together, had stayed pretty close. Out of all the people she considered friends and spoke to or hung out with, Sara was the only one she’d told about her silly crush on Brett.
She felt her cheeks heating up. Sara burst into giggles. “I knew it!”
“Shut up,” Lindsey mumbled, hugging her arms to her chest as they arrived at the counter to order some coffee for themselves.
“Aw come on, it’s pretty funny. You just can’t resist the old guys, can you?”
“Can you stop?!” Lindsey’s face was turning bright red, realizing the woman across the counter serving them could hear everything they were saying. She didn’t want the whole world to know about her weird little kink, after all.
Sara just laughed and rolled her eyes then, once the coffees were done and they were carrying them over to sit down at one of the booths together, she picked up the conversation again and carried right on.
“So, what did he do to you this time?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lindsey replied, her mind already recalling the details from her dream, still so clear and specific even after hours of being awake.
She sat down and began to stir some sugar into her coffee.
“How far do you think it’ll go, this...obsession with older guys?” Sara asked with a teasing smile. “Eventually, you’re totally gonna end up having a crush on like ... a ninety-year-old.”
“Don’t be stupid!” Lindsey scoffed. “Brett is hot.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure. How old is he anyway?”
“He’s like…forty two. Not that old.”
“Isn’t that the same age as your father? He is basically old enough to be your dad, Lindsey.”
“Yeah, well?”
“Do you want to screw your dad?”
“Ew! Will you stop being so disgusting!”
“Why don’t you go out with Marc? You know he’s fancied you for ages…” Sara glanced over in the direction of one of the other tables, where a group of three guys were sat drinking coffee and talking together.
“Because I don’t like Marc.”
“Because he’s not old enough for you?”
“He’s just not my type.”
“Yeah, because he’s not old enough for you. I think he’s cute.”
“Well, why don’t you ask him out then?”
Sara sighed and sipped at her coffee. “I just don’t see the point in you fancying this guy…it’s not as if you’re actually going to do anything about it.”
“Okay, first off,” Lindsey replied grumpily. “I can’t exactly help fancying him. It just sort of…happened. And secondly, if I could do something about it, I would.”
“Alright well, why can’t you?”
“Why d’you think? He’s my next door neighbor for one. And besides, he’s not exactly going to be interested in me, is he?”
“How do you know if you never ask?”
Lindsey shook her head. No, the whole idea was preposterous. “Older guys don’t like me,” she stated flatly, massively generalizing again, of course.
Sara tut-tutted. “Do you remember that time we went out and there was that guy you fancied with his workmates?”
Lindsey nodded. She remembered the evening pretty well. She’d made eyes at him all night, attempted to attract his attention. He’d glanced at her once, gave her a sort of nervous, frowning smile, then looked away and didn’t look at her again for the rest of the evening. The other girls she was out with had encouraged her to go over and talk to him, especially when they’d spotted him at the bar on his own.
“This is your chance!” Sara had said at the time, even giving her a nudge in his general direction.
But Lindsey had refused to move. She’d stayed with the girls and gone home alone.
She’d seen the look in his eye when their gazes met. He wasn’t interested. He probably thought she was about sixteen and was about to get thrown out of the bar for being underage any second. That was the look he was giving her. Not an ‘I want you’ kind of look.
That was the thing about Lindsey. She’d always appeared much younger than her actual age. She had a youthful, fresh faced appearance, clear, clean pale skin and striking eyes. Her mother occasionally described her as a porcelain doll, much to her annoyance. Even those older guys who might be interested in a fling with a younger woman would most likely keep away from her, assuming her to be massively underage. All of her friends were able to get served in bars, mostly without ever getting asked to see any form of ID – which they were grateful of seeing as the majority of them were under twenty one anyway, but Lindsey had never been served a drink in her life. Whenever they went out – which wasn’t very often thankfully – she always had to stay well away from the counter in case they all ended up getting thrown out, and they had to avoid any kind of places that had doormen because they would almost certainly ask to see her proof of age.
“You could have been in there with that guy,” Sara continued, reminiscing about their last night out.
Lindsey picked up her coffee and had a small sip, deeming it now cooled down enough to be able to actually drink from without burning her tongue. “No way. He wasn’t interested. He thought I was too young.”
“How do you know unless you go and ask though, Linds, mm?” Sara looked at her pointedly. “Unless you go up and actually have a conversation and get the rejection head on, you’re never going to know.”
“Well yeah, but – “
“The worst anyone can say is ‘no, I’m not interested’.”
“They could say, ‘no, you’re really ugly’. That’s
worse.”
“No one is going to say that, Lindsey, because you’re clearly not really ugly. Anyone can see that. And you’re not some shy delicate flower. I know you’re tough enough to handle it if someone said they weren’t interested.”
“I’d just say ‘fair enough’ and walk away, probably,” said Lindsey.
“Exactly!” cried Sara. “So why don’t you do it?”
“Because there’s no point.”
“Well, there is a point, because someone might say yes. Brett might say yes.”
“You really think my neighbor is going to want to sleep with me?”
“Why don’t you just go around and start massively flirting with him? You do know how to flirt, right?”
“Course I do.”
“Make him aware that you’re interested…”
“Yeah, I know what flirting is, thanks.”
“If you really want him, go and get him. Make it happen.”
“Well maybe I’m not as confident as you think I am…” Lindsey laughed lightly at Sara’s insistence and gently changed the subject, wanting to get away from thinking about Brett. The truth was, a part of her did fear rejection. She didn’t want to go around like Sara had said and make a fool of herself. She could already imagine how embarrassed she would be if Brett just stared at her like she was mad and was very clearly not interested. She’d never be able to face leaving the house again in case she accidentally ran into him. She’d be mortified. And besides that, if her mother ever found out about this little…interest…of hers, all hell would break loose. She just knew her parents wouldn’t understand. They’d think it was inappropriate and they’d probably blame Brett if anything ever did happen between them, and the last thing she wanted was to get him into trouble or cause any embarrassment or shame for him.
No, the best thing was for her to just get on with her life and try to stop thinking about him. It was just a silly, childish crush and would go away in time, once she got used to seeing him around. That was what she told herself, and she had almost made herself believe it too.
Chapter Three
The dreams continued.
They didn’t occur every night, but most nights, and it didn’t help that on average, Lindsey indulged them when and where she could. Even when she wasn’t asleep, her thoughts would wander to Brett, and he became the sole focus of all her masturbation sessions. This time, it wasn’t just a faceless older male figure that was dominating her, making love to her, but Brett, specifically Brett. She had only actually seen him in person twice, but she could visualize him very clearly using her imagination. She could feel his rough yet delicate hands running up and down her naked body, caressing and worshipping every part of her. In her fantasies, he was dominant but gentle at the same time. He took control, but also made her feel loved and wanted. She had no idea if he’d actually be like that in real life, but that was how she imagined him, how she wanted him.
“You just lie down and relax, Lindsey,” he whispered near her ear, slipping up out of bed after finishing making love to her. “I’ll bring you something to eat.”
“Mm, you don’t have to,” she rolled onto her back and whimpered in protest.
“I know. But I want to,” he insisted. “You deserve it. You’ve been such a good girl…”
“LINDSEY!” Her mother’s shout broke into her fantasies and yanked her out of them suddenly and unexpectedly. She was sat at her desk in her room with her hand down her pants and her college work out on the surface in front of her. She’d written two sentences. It wasn’t exactly going very well.
She blushed and removed her damp fingers from inside her knickers and swung her swivel chair around to face the door as her mom came barging in, clutching a package in her hand.
“Lindsey, love, be a dear and pop this over to Brett next door. The delivery man brought it to the wrong address.”
Lindsey stared at the package with an open mouth, her cheeks flushed.
“You want me to…” She could just imagine herself stood on Brett’s doorstep awkwardly, clutching at the package and trying to work up the courage to actually speak to him. No, no, she couldn’t do it. “Wait, why can’t you do it?” she protested. Her mother had never asked her to do stuff like this before. Well, not for a long while anyway.
“Because I’m really under pressure right now, sweetie. Your dad’s boss is coming over for dinner tonight and I still haven’t made the dessert. He wants to make the right impression, it’s important.”
Lindsey sighed. She hadn’t known about dinner arrangements but then, why would she? She’d already planned to go over to Sara’s that evening for pizza and movies.
Her dad had just got a promotion at the company he worked for and was hoping to move even further up the ladder. If the boss was coming around for dinner he was obviously heading in the right direction and she understood the need for everything to be perfect that her mother was fretting over. She didn’t want to mess things up for them by being awkward.
“Well…can’t Dad take it?” She asked weakly, a last desperate attempt to get out of doing it.
Her mother rolled her eyes, obviously thinking she was just being lazy, not knowing the real cause of her reluctance. “Your Dad’s at work. He doesn’t get back for another hour and when he does, it’s going to be all go. I should have taken it over earlier but I forgot. Now, please…it’ll only take you thirty seconds.”
And that was it. She’d ran out of ways to say no, ran out of excuses to give. She had to do it.
Standing up and feeling slightly shaky on her knees – not to mention wet between the legs from what she’d been thinking about before her mother walked in – she reached out a hand to take the package.
“Thank you,” her mom sighed, rolling her eyes and walking out with a bit of a huff, obviously on the edge of losing her patience with her seemingly lazy daughter.
Lindsey clutched the package tightly in her hands, staring down at it as if it contained a bomb about to explode, which is what she thought she might do any second. She placed it down on the desk so that she could put her coat on, looking at the name on the front.
Brett Anderson.
How could the mailman have got it wrong? Perhaps he just hadn’t been in this morning and so he’d delivered it over to them instead. That happened sometimes. Either way, it was here now and there was nothing she could do about it. It was her responsibility to return the package to its rightful owner.
As she picked it up again, she nosily wondered what was inside, squeezing the soft packaging slightly like one might with a Christmas present under the tree, to try and determine what the gift was. She’d never been very good at that sort of thing though, so the contents remained a mystery to her. It was definitely something inside hard plastic packaging but that was all she could ascertain. Not that it was any of her business anyway.
She padded softly down the stairs, feeling as though she was floating on a cloud, her head buzzing and light, slightly dizzy, her heart rapidly pounding in her chest. She was going to have to talk to him, say something to him. The words of her best friend Sara came floating back to her as she opened up the front door and began what seemed like the long walk over to Brett’s house only a few feet away.
Chapter Four
Flirt with him.
Let him know you’re interested.
She couldn’t do that. She couldn’t, could she?
Before she knew it, she was reaching up her hand to press the buzzer next to his door and waiting nervously on the porch for him to come answer. The car was outside parked on the drive so he was definitely home.
A few moments later she heard footsteps from inside, getting gradually louder, closer. Her stomach turned over, making her feel sick.
Then there was rush of air as the front door was opened and suddenly, there he was, and she was staring up at him.
Taller than her by a good few inches, Brett must have been just slightly over 6 foot with a shock of short but wild golden blonde hair
on the top of his head that apparently couldn’t decide which direction it wanted to go in. She couldn’t decide whether he just forgot to brush his hair every morning or whether it was supposed to be like that. Either way it was beautiful, and it looked so soft and silky it was all she could do to stop herself reaching up and running her fingers through it right then and there.
Then there were his eyes; deep, dreamy blue pools she was already getting lost in as she stared up at him in infatuated awe.
“Oh, hi.” He spoke first, which was a relief, because right now she seemed to be lost for words and just looking at him gormlessly.
The sound of his voice snapped her out of her daydream though. She quickly stood upright, closed her mouth, then opened it again realizing she needed to say something back. “Er…hello.”
Well, that was a good start.
He flashed her an easy, relaxed smile, showing her a set of perfect white teeth, then nodded down at the package in her hands. “Is that for me? I was expecting something.”
Right yes, the package. That was the reason she was here.
“Uh sorry, yeah,” she mumbled, offering it out to him and avoiding making eye contact, staring more at her feet than anywhere else at this point. “It got delivered to ours by mistake or something,” she added, and was actually pleased with herself for managing to say more than just a few words.
“Mm, probably cause I wasn’t in this morning,” he shrugged. “Thanks for holding onto it for me.”
“Oh, it’s uh…it’s no problem,” she answered, forcing her eyes up to meet his gaze and feeling as though she might collapse as a result. Goodness, he was gorgeous, she thought to herself. His eyes seemed to sparkle in the early evening sunlight as he smiled, the beams breaking through the clouds casting shadows on his face and making his perfect cheekbones stand out even more.
“Well, thanks.” He took the package from her and now looked as though he felt slightly awkward about the whole thing for the first time.
