“No, no. I’m sorry. I’m really excited for you. Are you going to make a list of things to do with Cora? You have to go to the Eiffel Tower at night.” Her tone changed instantly when I’d pointed out her indifference.
“Have you ever been?”
“Uh-uh, but it’s on my bucket list, and the pictures at night are stunning. So just in case I never get to go, you have to visit and tell me all about it.”
“I’m sure you’ll get to go. You’re young. Maybe you’ll honeymoon in Paris.” The moment the words slipped out, I regretted them. She didn’t even have any friends, much less dates that might evolve into a marriage. And I couldn’t imagine it was even something she was considering. “I’m sorry, Chelsea. That was insensitive.”
“It’s fine. I promise. I won’t always be waiting for my mom to die.” Something else hovered in her voice, but whatever it was, she didn’t say it.
The conversation stalled, and I felt awkward sitting with the phone to my ear when I remembered she’d had something to say.
“What was it you wanted to talk about?”
The moment she responded, I knew she was blowing me off. “Oh, nothing. It’s not important. Your news is way more interesting.”
I hadn’t mapped out the trip because Cora had places she picked to go, but I was excited to have someone to share my only plan with. I hadn’t even told Neil. However, Chelsea had been such an advocate of my relationship with Cora that I wanted her to be the first person to know that I intended to propose. And figured she might even be able to help me figure out what to do about the setting I’d never purchased and the best place to pop the question.
If she’d been shocked, she didn’t say it, or even hint at it. Her enthusiasm spurred my decision on. Chelsea was as much of a hopeless romantic as I was, and part of me thought her ideas were what she’d fanaticized her own proposal being. I couldn’t make that happen for her, although I could certainly work it into what I did for Cora. I hadn’t heard Chelsea this happy in all the times we’d talked.
She was genuinely excited for me and promised to keep her fingers crossed that Cora would say yes and finally come home. God, I hoped for the same thing.
***
“Are you sure you’re making the right decision?” Neil questioned everything I did in regard to Cora, likely because Hannah questioned everything I did in regard to Cora. However, he’d been sworn to secrecy about this, and if Cora found out, there was only one place it would have come from.
“Maybe not, but at least I won’t have any regrets. And Chelsea thinks it’s romantic, so I’m sure Cora will, too.”
“I’m not sure taking another woman’s advice on proposing is the best thing to do. Not to mention, spending thousands of dollars you can’t get back to ensure you don’t regret anything is asinine. You can propose after she comes home.”
“I had planned to propose before she ever left.”
“Yeah, but you haven’t been together in a year and a half. You aren’t dating. What if she turns you down?”
“I’m not thinking that way.” I couldn’t. Chelsea was convinced she’d say yes, and I was too. I had to believe Cora loved me and had only needed time to grow into who she was destined to become before she came back. She’d turned down Drake Halifax even after we’d broken up; that had to mean something—other than she wasn’t into rich old men.
“Dude, I get that Paris is like the City of Love or whatever, but this is reality, not some fairy-tale fantasy. Chelsea isn’t thinking about real life; she’s thinking about some twisted version of a romance novel. Cora doesn’t have a script she’s reading from; she’ll be reacting to your whim based on a life she’s lived for eighteen months without you.”
“Why can’t it be both?”
“Maybe it can, although I don’t think that’s realistic. I just don’t want to see you go through the breakup phase again. I wasn’t sure your liver or your dick were going to survive that the first time.”
“First of all, my dick was always securely wrapped, and secondly, just because I hung out at a bar didn’t mean I was mainlining tequila.”
He held his hands up in surrender. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
I had refused to consider rejection, unwilling to believe Cora was meant to be with anyone other than me. And Chelsea’s confidence meant more than Neil’s disbelief.
“Are you going to tell her what you’ve been up to while she’s been away?” The way his eyebrows rose irritated me—like I’d somehow maligned her because I’d gone out with other women.
“If she asks, I won’t lie. But am I going to volunteer information? No. That would be relationship suicide.”
“Hate to break it to you, man, but you’re not in a relationship with her. Just because you quit dicking around with other people doesn’t mean you’re committed.”
“I’m sure she’s been with other people while she’s been gone.” At least that’s what I told myself to keep my own guilt at bay.
“Yeah? Has she told you that?”
“Not in so many words. Why? Has she told Hannah something I should be aware of?”
“I’m not getting in the middle of this.”
“You’re absolutely smack dab in the center of it all because you tell your girlfriend everything I do.”
My assistant came and shut my office door when my voice rose enough for the rest of the staff to hear me.
“You never kept secrets from Cora. Why would you think things would be any different with Hannah?”
“I never told Cora your secrets.” And I hadn’t. Not that Neil had many, but I didn’t tell her about the financial problems he’d had when we first bought the business. I’d helped him cover them so he wouldn’t have to admit any of that to anyone.
“And I haven’t told Hannah yours. I may have talked to Hannah about my concerns with where your social life was headed when you were making stupid decisions because I was concerned for my best friend—not because I was a gossip train pulling into the station.”
Both of us had gotten far too worked up over something that should have been a happy occasion, one I needed his support in. Hell, even my dad had been ecstatic when I’d told him my plans—cautious, yet happy. Oddly, he had truly acted like a father since I left Geneva Key, one I wished I could spend more time with.
I lowered my voice to continue talking to him. “Neil, I’ve never loved anyone other than Cora Chase, regardless of what I did after she left. I haven’t been in another relationship or even considered one. I had a friend with benefits—who wasn’t really a friend, considering the day I stopped coming around, she disappeared—and Chelsea. Cora knows about Chelsea, even if she doesn’t know I had sex with her…once.” I emphasized the word to make sure Neil remembered it hadn’t been anything more than a bad decision. “But if Cora’s in a relationship, or you think there’s a reason besides separation that I need to be concerned about, then as my friend, I need you to tell me—even if you don’t give me the details.”
As he let out an exaggerated sigh, he ran his palm over his forehead, down his nose, and then dragged it through his hair. The pained expression on his face indicated a desire to unload, as well as confusion over whether or not he should.
“I don’t know a lot, Carp. I do know that she’s dated and none of them have worked out beyond one or two dinners.”
“But there’s something else you’re not telling me.” I let that hang in the air and waited. I wouldn’t push it. I never would have violated a trust Cora had put in me, and I didn’t expect him to do that to Hannah.
“She misses you. And she doesn’t believe she’ll ever be happy in France until she’s sure things with you are over.”
Over. While that one word replayed in my mind, Neil gave me the time to process it without speaking. I refused to believe things with Cora and me would ever be over.
“Are you saying I’m making this trip for Cora to determine she doesn’t love me anymore so she can move on?”
Wi
th his elbows on his knees, he cradled his head in his hands. I watched silently as he once again ran both sets of fingers through his hair to the back of his neck where he massaged the tension that had suddenly made him uncomfortable. When he finally made eye contact with me, he sat up. “Hannah thinks she’s trying to convince herself it’s over because you haven’t made any attempt to come after her. She also believes Cora will never love anyone else, the same way you won’t, and that once the two of you see each other again, the doubt will wash away. And that’s when Cora will come home.”
“This is all Hannah’s assumption, right? I mean, Cora hasn’t actually told her she doesn’t still love me?”
He shook his head. “No, she hasn’t. And I can tell you, if Hannah knew what your plans were, she’d be on board. She thinks like a chick—emotionally. She’d be on the crazy train with Chelsea. You need to be thinking rationally. And there is a fifty percent chance she will say no.”
The side of my mouth turned up in a cocky grin. “There’s a fifty percent chance she’ll say yes. And unless the odds tip out of my favor, I’m going forward with my plan. Why else would she have asked me to come to Paris? She could have asked Hannah if all she needed was a friend.”
“If you’re going to propose, I think you need to be upfront about what happened while she was gone. And she needs to offer you the same thing. The two of you have never had secrets, and it will eat at you until you give her the truth. Having it come to light after a wedding could be catastrophic.”
I couldn’t deny his point and hated that Neil had become a voice of reason. Yet I couldn’t imagine telling Cora I’d slept with anyone else, much less two other people. She wouldn’t care that it had been meaningless sex. Unless she’d had sex since moving to Paris, she would see it as betrayal—regardless of the fact she’d been the one who had left.
“And exactly how honest would you be?” As long as I had Neil looking out for my best interest, I might as well get the whole picture.
“Don’t give details. Cora won’t be able to forget them, even if she doesn’t hold it over your head. I would tell her you made some poor decisions after she left, and open the door to let her ask what she needs to know. Then protect her from shit that won’t benefit her in the long run. Transferring guilt from your shoulders to hers just to make yourself feel better won’t help her down the road.”
Luckily—or unluckily, I wasn’t sure which yet—there were lots of details I couldn’t give, even if she asked, because I’d been too intoxicated to remember them. The thought of divulging any of it to Cora made me sick to my stomach, but Neil was right. I’d never be able to live with the weight of remorse in the long run. I couldn’t risk that happening after marriage, which meant I’d have to risk it happening before.
He stood while I was still in thought, drawing me back to the present and out of my head.
“Just my advice—that shit needs to be done face-to-face, not over the phone. You’ll have more control over the situation if she can’t hang up. And don’t be surprised when it stings the hell out of her.”
I bobbed my head to acknowledge him while considering what he’d said. I’d have to tell her before New Year’s Eve. Neil opened the door yet stopped with his hand on the edge.
“Whatever happens, Carp, at least you’ll know when you come home whether it’s time to move on and let her go completely.”
“I just hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“Me too, bro. Me too.” He grimaced and then hesitantly turned around. After finally walking out, he pulled the handle with him and closed me off to the rest of the office.
12
Chelsea
“When are you going to tell him, Chelsea?” Dottie’s voice was elevated, although it wasn’t in anger. She simply didn’t want me to face raising a child on my own.
“I already told you.” I struggled to remain calm. I’d repeated this same thing so many times I was tired of hearing myself talk, all because Dottie refused to listen to reason. “I’m not going to put that on him before he goes to Paris.”
“Why is his relationship with another woman more important than his responsibility to his child?” She wouldn’t let this go. I couldn’t tell if it had more to do with my own mother having walked away from my father, or her desire to resurrect her relationship with her child, or a million other things. All I knew was that her constant pushing me to do what she thought was right suffocated me.
“It’s not, but they’ll never get together if she’s aware he has a baby on the way. He’s leaving in a couple weeks to go see her. It’s not like I’m waiting until after the baby’s born.” My voice cracked under the strain of remaining respectful.
“So you’re going to wait until they’re engaged? I don’t follow your logic.”
“If they get engaged, I’m not telling him. End of story.” I’d intentionally left Carp’s name out of all discussions with Dottie, thankfully. I wouldn’t be surprised in the least to find out she was friends with his family, and that would only spell disaster if she felt like going around me to them. At this point, she believed it was a guy I worked with. Clearly, she hadn’t noticed there wasn’t anyone under the age of forty in that crowd.
“Chelsea, you have a lot going on. You need his help, even if it’s only financial.”
“I’m about to lose the only thing I have going on, Dottie. So unless you’re going to kick me out if I don’t tell him, I don’t need his help. I’ll be okay.”
She stood from her seat at my side and turned to face me. With her hands on her hips, she huffed. “You and I both know that’s not true. At some point, you’re going to have to face your future…I just don’t want it to be too late.” Her words were like a hard slap across the face, one that knocked the taste right out of my mouth.
Dottie had never talked to me that way. She’d never been so cruel. It didn’t matter if there were any validity to anything she’d said, it stung.
I’d struggled with this decision since I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t arrive at this conclusion on a whim—I’d agonized over it. The weight of either choice held dire consequences, but if Cora said yes, then she and Carp had a fighting chance at the love of a lifetime. I’d never have that and refused to rob him of it, or her. And no matter what scenario ran through my head, I always wanted Carp to get the best life he could have. I didn’t care to saddle him with my problems or a child. And if he ever found out, it’d be too late to change anything.
Lying back on my pillows, I propped my feet up on the end of the bed. My tummy had started to pooch just a bit with the hint of a baby underneath. I hadn’t told my mom, although at this point, I wasn’t sure it would matter. She’d been virtually unresponsive for days, and the end was near. I rubbed a shaky hand over my belly and talked to the bump as if the baby inside could hear me.
Maybe I was selfish, and it had likely shaped my decision, but I was okay with this baby being mine. My mother had been the center of my universe all my life, and I hated to admit that being on the cusp of that ending made me want to complete the cycle with my own little version of me. I strived to be the mother Janie Airy had been. She’d fulfilled all her dreams—even knowing she would get sick—with me in tow. It was probably naïve to think she’d preferred it that way, but I’d always believed she did.
Either way, I still had time to change my mind. Carp wouldn’t be back from Paris until the beginning of January. And one way or another, he’d have an answer either way when he returned. I’d only be a little over five months along, so if they weren’t engaged, that was more than enough time to pull the trigger and allow him to be involved. And if he didn’t, I would be prepared for that as well. However, if they did get engaged, I hadn’t gotten my hopes up to begin with.
I had no desire to be with James Carpenter. I wasn’t in love with him, and I had zero romantic interest—taking the love of his life away just seemed like a cruel punishment. My phone rang on the nightstand next to me, breaking me out of the vicious c
ircle of thoughts I couldn’t escape on my own.
Speak of the devil. “Hey, Carp.” I had to make a concerted effort these days to keep my voice light. He knew I was dealing with something that kept me from being super cheerful, although he thought it revolved solely around my mom.
“Hey, Chelsea. I’m glad to see you haven’t fallen into the portal.”
“What?” I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.
“I haven’t heard from you in a couple days and was afraid Geneva Key had swallowed you up with the rest of the youngsters.”
“Nope, I just avoid that part of town.” I giggled. It was nice to hear his voice and have him joke around. Dottie was so serious about everything these days that, sometimes, I felt guilty for smiling. “Are you getting excited about going to Paris? You’re only a couple weeks away.”
“Nervous. I can count on one hand the number of life-defining moments I’ve had, and this is definitely at the top of those. I don’t know what—”
The phone beeped, interrupting what he was saying. “Hang on just a second, Carp. Someone’s on the other line.” Before I could answer it, the call had gone to voicemail, but it wasn’t a number I recognized. “I guess I missed it. What were you saying?”
“Um, I don’t remember. Sorry, I’m kind of scatterbrained these days.”
Dottie burst through the door, her face streaked with tears. “Chelsea?” The moment she said my name, I sat up, and she saw I was on the phone.
“Carp, let me call you back. Something’s wrong.”
“Yeah, sure.”
I didn’t say goodbye or wait for him to, either. I terminated the call and stared at the woman falling apart in my doorway.
Standing quickly, I tossed my phone onto the bed. “What is it? Is it Mom?”
Her hands cupped her face, and when she nodded, long strands of gray hair surrounded her thin, delicate fingers.
Unexpected Arrivals Page 17
