by Sian Ceinwen
She clicked on one of the articles to read it and found that, of course, it was speculating on their possible breakup. The pictures of her and Sebastian leaving the apartment together were here, and it was noted that, of course, she wasn’t out with Harrison tonight. They were putting two and two together and coming up with five. Yes, they were right that she and Harrison had broken up, but she was as likely to sleep with Sebastian tonight as Harrison was to sleep with anyone else.
Sebastian looked over at her as she finished her food and saw what was on her screen, “Don’t read that shit, Heather.”
“What? You don’t want to go upstairs and fuck, then? I was just about to offer…” She raised her eyebrows at him, and he laughed.
“Well, I mean, of course, I want to go upstairs and fuck,” he looked at the phone again, “I’m glad he’s out of there and on his way home.”
“Looks like he had a few too many drinks,” she cringed.
“As if you can talk, lover!” Sebastian laughed. “Are you ready for bed?”
Heather nodded, and he took their plates and cups, then put them in the sink before coming back to hug her. They went upstairs, and as Heather was lying alone in her bed, the reality of her situation hit her once again. She’d gone to bed alone every night for over two months, but this time, there was no Harrison in a nearby room. Heather hadn’t realized how much comfort she had drawn from that fact.
When she woke later that night from yet another nightmare, she couldn’t stop herself from crying hysterically. In her dream, Harrison had gotten into the black SUV after leaving the club, and Maddy had met him at their apartment, where they’d had sex. Heather knew it wasn’t what would’ve happened tonight, but the dream had been so very real that she actually felt sick.
There was a knock on the door of her bedroom, and she tried to call out to Sebastian to come in, but couldn’t manage any words. He opened the door anyway and came into the room, holding a glass of cold water, which he set down on her bedside table before sitting on the bed next to her.
He didn’t try to force her to talk or explain what was going on, just sat there to be with her. Eventually, she calmed down and was able to sit up and drink some of the water he’d brought for her.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome,” he replied with a warm smile, “go back to sleep, Heather. You look like you need it.”
She moved over to him and gave him a hug, then lay back down and went back to a thankfully dreamless sleep.
Chapter 19
TRUTH HURTS
HEATHER WAS ALONE IN the bed when she woke up the next morning. Her head was pounding, and she had no idea what time it was or even where she was for a second, but it must have been late because the sun was well and truly streaming in through the windows.
She got up, looked around the room vaguely, and realized that she was out at Galena. Then it all came rushing back to her, and she suddenly felt sick. She had broken up with Harrison yesterday. Heather dashed to the adjoining bathroom and promptly vomited in the toilet there. Last night’s pizza and alcohol made their way out of her body, and when she was finished, she flushed the toilet and went back into the room to grab her toiletries bag.
Heather brushed her teeth and had a shower, feeling a lot more human after she did. She got dressed and went and knocked on Sebastian’s door, but there was no answer. She made her way downstairs, and when she reached the bottom of the staircase, she heard familiar voices coming from the sitting room nearby.
When she reached it, she grinned massively as she saw Gabriel and Ariana sitting on the sofa, talking to Sebastian.
“Oh my god, what are you guys doing here?” Heather rushed over to give each of them a hug, then sat down in between Ariana and Sebastian.
“Seb called us last night and asked if we would come up today,” Gabriel told her.
“Did you?” Heather asked Sebastian, and he nodded.
“We’ve just been catching up,” Ariana said with a smile.
“See?” Heather laughed, “I told you that it was getting frosty down in Hell.”
“Yeah, positively freezing, I heard,” Ariana smirked.
“Oh, please, as if I could stay angry at you when this one”—he indicated to Heather—“was all ‘Seb, I’m saaaaaad, and the only thing that could possibly make me feel better is if you forgave Ariana!’” he rolled his eyes and laughed.
“Did you really say that, Heather?” Ariana laughed as well.
“Of course, what’s the point in calling off your wedding if you can’t use it to your advantage. In fact, you guys can expect to hear that a lot, now”—Heather flipped her hair—“‘I’m sad, can you get me a drink?’, ‘I’m sad, can we watch something I like, instead?’, ‘I’m sad, can you let me beat you at pool, Sebastian?’”
Everyone laughed as Sebastian said, “Not fucking likely. I love you, Heather, but not that much.”
Heather was so grateful to Sebastian for inviting Gabriel and Ariana to come to Galena. Their presence was soothing after having such a rough time the night before. She was lucky to have people in her life who loved and supported her as much as they did. She sent a text to Hayden.
Hi, Hayden. Did everything go okay last night?
“Who are you texting?” Ariana asked her.
“Hayden. I just wanted to make sure Harrison got home safely,” Heather frowned as she said it, not knowing exactly where he was staying right now.
Maybe, if he knew she was out at Galena, he might’ve gone home to their apartment. Heather knew, though, that Harrison was a man of his word. If he’d told her that he wasn’t going to stay there, he wouldn’t have stayed there even if he knew she wasn’t there.
“So, you blew up your life, even after I told you not to, huh?” Ariana gave her a sad smile.
“Yeah, look, I considered not doing it, but then I just backed up a truckload of TNT and went to town, instead.”
“I’m really sorry, Heather,” Gabriel’s voice was quiet, “I can tell that you’ve been trying to get past it, the last couple of months. I know you haven’t done this on a whim.”
“Not like some people, who just walk away without thinking,” Sebastian said, directing this at Ariana.
She grimaced, “You’ve got me. I’m the first to admit that I fucked up, Sebastian.” Ariana looked at Heather, “Are you okay if I ask Sebastian that thing we talked about, or would you rather not be here when I do?”
“No, go ahead,” she looked at Sebastian now, “I’m fine to hear it, so feel free, to be honest.”
Gabriel looked tense, and Heather felt like Ariana had probably warned him about the conversation that she was wanted to have with Sebastian, who looked curious.
“What was it like when I left?”
Sebastian cringed, Heather knew that there was certainly a time that he would’ve relished in giving Ariana a blow-by-blow rundown of that terrible time, knowing that it would be painful for her. The current circumstances, with Heather’s breakup with Harrison being so fresh, definitely made this harder for everyone, though.
“Are you sure you want to know?” His reply reminded Heather of the way Ariana had responded to her own question regarding the night of the charity event. Ariana nodded, and Sebastian looked at Gabriel, “And you want me to answer this?”
“Go ahead, Seb. Ariana is back now, what happened is in the past and can’t hurt us, anymore,” he put his arms around Ariana and hugged her to him, tightly.
“Well, you walked out on me, and I was left in your shitty hotel room. I was so fucking angry at you, I considered running after you and forcing you to come back upstairs and face Gabriel, but I didn’t. I felt so guilty for letting you go.
“I went back upstairs and had to tell everyone what you’d done. We were all just sitting around Gabriel’s suite in total shock. When I told them all that you’d walked out, taking all your things with you and had told me you had a plane to catch, I watche
d Gabriel break into pieces in front of my eyes.”
He looked at Gabriel, who had his eyes downcast, and Heather felt her heart throb painfully; it reminded her of what she’d done to Harrison yesterday. Ariana looked terrible as well, and Sebastian was clearly not enjoying this.
“Are you sure you want me to continue?” he asked Ariana, and she nodded, “Okay, well we’d just won the Grammys, and that stupid fucking Ariel story was blowing up thanks to the skank I’d brought with me, sorry she was such a bitch, by the way. Anyway, we had to do about a thousand interviews.
“Gabriel was pretty much catatonic, so Hayden and I would answer questions on his behalf. Harrison was constantly stressed because Heather was almost as bad as Gabriel.”
Heather whimpered at the sound of Harrison’s name and what she’d inadvertently put him through, even though it was nothing like what she knew she was putting him through now.
“Cooper was lording it the fuck over everyone, saying that he knew all along that you were going to do something like this. I got into a massive fight with him and almost punched him.”
Gabriel looked as shocked as Heather felt at hearing this and said, “I don’t remember that.”
“You weren’t there,” Sebastian smiled, “anyway, basically, it was all fucking shit.”
“The last message you left me,” Ariana asked, “what made you leave it?”
Sebastian looked away from her and didn’t answer the question.
“Sebastian?”
He gave a heavy sigh, then looked Ariana in the eyes and continued, “It got pretty dark. For a long time, I was scared to leave Gabriel alone. He said some things to me that hinted that he was pretty depressed, but that day, he outright told me that he was going to get a bottle of pills and take them all.
“I refused to leave his side after that. I think that my reaction shook him out of it a bit, because that night when we were out to dinner, he admitted that he needed to let go of you. He called you and told you he was letting you go. I followed him when he left the table, of course. Leaving that message was the second-worst day for him, I think,” Sebastian looked at Gabriel, then, who gave a small nod.
“I babysat him for at least two weeks, sat in a chair next to the bed while he slept, would barely even let him shit in peace,” Sebastian gave a half-laugh, “he got really fucking annoyed about it, and I told him that I’d let him have some freedom if he agreed to do some sort of counseling.
“We were on tour, so we found a therapist who would do Skype sessions, and finally, he started to come around.”
This was all new information to Heather; she hadn’t realized how bad Gabriel had actually gotten. She looked over at Ariana and saw her openly crying at this news. Gabriel had her pulled toward him so that her back was against his chest and was hugging her tightly.
“I’m sorry I put you through that,” she whispered, “all of you. I didn’t know. I was so stupid; I thought I was doing the right thing, but it almost caused Gabe to…” she trailed off.
Sebastian got up from where he was sitting, walked over to the couple, and put his arms around both of them. After a few seconds, he returned to his seat.
“I accept your apology, Ariana. I’m also sorry for being such an asshole to you when you two got back together. I was just scared that you’d do the same thing again. It was pretty obvious from the outset that you’d changed a lot, though. Walking The Gauntlet, being subjected to bullshit from paparazzi, being subject to bullshit from us…” he indicated to himself and Heather, causing everyone to laugh, and it lightened the mood slightly.
There was silence in the room for a few minutes as everyone reflected on what had just been revealed. Finally, Heather gave a big sigh and said, “Too bad we didn’t have this conversation six months ago when we could all be happy. Why are you such a stubborn fucker, Seb?”
“Just me, lover?” He laughed. “If I recall correctly, there was someone else who only just got over their shit enough to forgive, Ariana.”
“Who? Me? You must be remembering incorrectly, I was completely magnanimous and absolutely lovely to Ariana always and forever,” Heather raised her eyebrows at Sebastian.
“Oh, my bad. Yes, I completely remember it that way, now that I think about it. Right, Gabriel?”
Gabriel was still holding Ariana facing away from him, so he couldn’t see her face as he laughed, “Yes, of course. Heather was the nicest and sweetest person to Ariana ever since we got back together. It was just you being a dick, Seb.”
“I’m surprised that any of you have forgiven me,” Ariana said quietly, and the look on her face betrayed the inner torment that she was suffering right now.
Gabriel let go of her and moved around so that he was in front of her, “Oh, Ari. Nothing from the past can hurt us now. Look at me?” she raised her eyes to meet his, “Heather and I are fine, and we’re here with you. We can’t change the past, you’ve worked hard to become a different person, don’t fall back there, sweetheart.”
He kissed her, and Heather looked away from them. Seeing Gabriel and Ariana so in love was painful. They had been through so much and come out the other side, why couldn’t she have done the same with Harrison? Gabriel had forgiven Ariana for leaving, even when he’d become suicidal after she left. All Harrison had done was sleep with someone else.
Maybe there was a chance that they might come out the other side of this together, too. Heather knew that it was what she wanted more than anything else in the world, but she also knew that she just couldn’t do it until these nightmares stopped. Her next session with Zoe was on Wednesday; she’d have to talk to her about some kind of technique or something to force her subconscious into submission. It was clear that she couldn’t continue living like this.
A small part of her had hoped that calling off the wedding and leaving Chicago would flip the ‘off switch’ in her brain for the nightmares. It had been so disappointing to have another one last night as if she hadn’t gone to the effort of blowing up her life to try and stop it. The reality of her situation came rushing back to her, and she sighed deeply.
“What am I going to do when I go back to Chicago tomorrow, guys?”
She rubbed the bare skin on her ring finger where her engagement ring should be sitting as she said it, staring across the room and out the window showing the view of the green fields of Sebastian’s property.
Ariana moved closer to her and gave her a hug, “You’ll survive. One day at a time. Do you have to go back tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I do,” Heather gave her a tight smile, “in my infinite wisdom, I blew up my life two days before my fashion line launches in department stores. I have press events booked solid. In fact, I’ll probably need to leave stupidly early. Sorry, Seb.”
“Hey, I don’t care. We do whatever you need to do when we’re on ‘Heather Duty,’ lover.” He smiled at her.
“We have to go back tomorrow, as well,” Gabriel said, “Ross drove us here, so you can come back with us if you want to.”
“Oh, that would be great.” Heather appreciated the offer. “In all honesty, I actually don’t give a shit about Serenity right now. If it weren’t for the women that I have working for me, I’d close up shop tomorrow, hole myself up in a room and drink alcohol while eating ice cream for the rest of my life.”
“Thank fuck for those women, then,” Ariana said with a grimace.
“Okay, enough doom and gloom,” Sebastian announced, “we have a whole day ahead of us. What does anyone say to going for a swim?”
“Swimming in January?” Ariana asked him, “Hard pass, thanks!”
“My dear, Ariana, what kind of rock star would I be if I didn’t have an indoor heated swimming pool for just such an occasion?” He raised an eyebrow at her.
“Umm, you’d be the kind of rock star that any of the other three I know are like?” She laughed, and he smiled as well.
“You know what, I’ve missed you, Ariana Chamberlain!” he
announced to them all.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Gabriel told him.
“Sorry to say, Seb, I didn’t think we’d be swimming today, so I didn’t bring anything to swim in.” Ariana shrugged.
“Hey, I don’t think that’s ever stopped you before!” Gabriel laughed, then dropped his head to hers and kissed her again.
When they finished their kiss, Heather told Ariana, “I brought more than one swimsuit, you can borrow one of mine.”
“You brought more than one swimsuit for a two-day trip to Galena?” Ariana laughed.
“Correct. Do you even know me?”
Ariana followed her upstairs to the room that she was staying in, and they came back down in their swimsuits. Heather saw the pure, unadulterated lust in Gabriel’s eyes when he saw Ariana and felt the pain of Harrison’s absence. She knew that he would look at her like that if he were here, too.
Once the guys had gone upstairs and changed, with Gabriel borrowing some swimming trunks from Sebastian, they came down all tanned skin and bulging muscles.
“Woo! Sexy!” Heather couldn’t resist yelling at them with a laugh.
“Thanks, lover, you don’t look too bad, yourself!” Sebastian gave her an obvious wink, and both Gabriel and Ariana laughed at them.
They made their way through the house to a room at the back of it. When Sebastian pushed open the door, Heather was amazed to find an absolutely stunning pool tucked away behind it. It was lit around the edges with underwater lights, and when Sebastian flicked a switch, and the overhead lights came on to light up the room, she actually gasped.
The whole area was tiled, and behind a glass wall on the other side of the room, she could see there was a gym with state-of-the-art equipment that overlooked the pool. It was a concrete pool, taking up almost all of the vast room; he’d even gone to the effort of having someone tile the Cruise Control symbol into the middle of it. Over near one side of the room was a raised spa that could be accessed from some steps within the pool.
