The Uncommercial Traveller

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by Dickens, Charles


  him up, and testify to the multitude that each of those points was

  a clincher.

  But, in respect of the large Christianity of his general tone; of

  his renunciation of all priestly authority; of his earnest and

  reiterated assurance to the people that the commonest among them

  could work out their own salvation if they would, by simply,

  lovingly, and dutifully following Our Saviour, and that they needed

  the mediation of no erring man; in these particulars, this

  gentleman deserved all praise. Nothing could be better than the

  spirit, or the plain emphatic words of his discourse in these

  respects. And it was a most significant and encouraging

  circumstance that whenever he struck that chord, or whenever he

  described anything which Christ himself had done, the array of

  faces before him was very much more earnest, and very much more

  expressive of emotion, than at any other time.

  And now, I am brought to the fact, that the lowest part of the

  audience of the previous night, WAS NOT THERE. There is no doubt

  about it. There was no such thing in that building, that Sunday

  evening. I have been told since, that the lowest part of the

  audience of the Victoria Theatre has been attracted to its Sunday

  services. I have been very glad to hear it, but on this occasion

  of which I write, the lowest part of the usual audience of the

  Britannia Theatre, decidedly and unquestionably stayed away. When

  I first took my seat and looked at the house, my surprise at the

  change in its occupants was as great as my disappointment. To the

  most respectable class of the previous evening, was added a great

  number of respectable strangers attracted by curiosity, and drafts

  from the regular congregations of various chapels. It was

  impossible to fail in identifying the character of these last, and

  they were very numerous. I came out in a strong, slow tide of them

  setting from the boxes. Indeed, while the discourse was in

  progress, the respectable character of the auditory was so manifest

  in their appearance, that when the minister addressed a

  supposititious 'outcast,' one really felt a little impatient of it,

  as a figure of speech not justified by anything the eye could

  discover.

  The time appointed for the conclusion of the proceedings was eight

  o'clock. The address having lasted until full that time, and it

  being the custom to conclude with a hymn, the preacher intimated in

  a few sensible words that the clock had struck the hour, and that

  those who desired to go before the hymn was sung, could go now,

  without giving offence. No one stirred. The hymn was then sung,

  in good time and tune and unison, and its effect was very striking.

  A comprehensive benevolent prayer dismissed the throng, and in

  seven or eight minutes there was nothing left in the Theatre but a

  light cloud of dust.

  That these Sunday meetings in Theatres are good things, I do not

  doubt. Nor do I doubt that they will work lower and lower down in

  the social scale, if those who preside over them will be very

  careful on two heads: firstly, not to disparage the places in

  which they speak, or the intelligence of their hearers; secondly,

  not to set themselves in antagonism to the natural inborn desire of

  the mass of mankind to recreate themselves and to be amused.

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  There is a third head, taking precedence of all others, to which my

  remarks on the discourse I heard, have tended. In the New

  Testament there is the most beautiful and affecting history

  conceivable by man, and there are the terse models for all prayer

  and for all preaching. As to the models, imitate them, Sunday

  preachers - else why are they there, consider? As to the history,

  tell it. Some people cannot read, some people will not read, many

  people (this especially holds among the young and ignorant) find it

  hard to pursue the verse-form in which the book is presented to

  them, and imagine that those breaks imply gaps and want of

  continuity. Help them over that first stumbling-block, by setting

  forth the history in narrative, with no fear of exhausting it. You

  will never preach so well, you will never move them so profoundly,

  you will never send them away with half so much to think of. Which

  is the better interest: Christ's choice of twelve poor men to help

  in those merciful wonders among the poor and rejected; or the pious

  bullying of a whole Union-full of paupers? What is your changed

  philosopher to wretched me, peeping in at the door out of the mud

  of the streets and of my life, when you have the widow's son to

  tell me about, the ruler's daughter, the other figure at the door

  when the brother of the two sisters was dead, and one of the two

  ran to the mourner, crying, 'The Master is come and calleth for

  thee'? - Let the preacher who will thoroughly forget himself and

  remember no individuality but one, and no eloquence but one, stand

  up before four thousand men and women at the Britannia Theatre any

  Sunday night, recounting that narrative to them as fellow

  creatures, and he shall see a sight!

  CHAPTER V - POOR MERCANTILE JACK

  Is the sweet little cherub who sits smiling aloft and keeps watch

  on life of poor Jack, commissioned to take charge of Mercantile

  Jack, as well as Jack of the national navy? If not, who is? What

  is the cherub about, and what are we all about, when poor

  Mercantile Jack is having his brains slowly knocked out by pennyweights,

  aboard the brig Beelzebub, or the barque Bowie-knife -

  when he looks his last at that infernal craft, with the first

  officer's iron boot-heel in his remaining eye, or with his dying

  body towed overboard in the ship's wake, while the cruel wounds in

  it do 'the multitudinous seas incarnadine'?

  Is it unreasonable to entertain a belief that if, aboard the brig

  Beelzebub or the barque Bowie-knife, the first officer did half the

  damage to cotton that he does to men, there would presently arise

  from both sides of the Atlantic so vociferous an invocation of the

  sweet little cherub who sits calculating aloft, keeping watch on

  the markets that pay, that such vigilant cherub would, with a

  winged sword, have that gallant officer's organ of destructiveness

  out of his head in the space of a flash of lightning?

  If it be unreasonable, then am I the most unreasonable of men, for

  I believe it with all my soul.

  This was my thought as I walked the dock-quays at Liverpool,

  keeping watch on poor Mercantile Jack. Alas for me! I have long

  outgrown the state of sweet little cherub; but there I was, and

  there Mercantile Jack was, and very busy he was, and very cold he

  was: the snow yet lying in the frozen furrows of the land, and the

  north-east winds snipping off the tops of the little waves in the

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  Mersey, and rolling them into hailstones to pelt him with.

  Mercantile Jack was hard at it, in the hard weather: as he mostly

/>   is in all weathers, poor Jack. He was girded to ships' masts and

  funnels of steamers, like a forester to a great oak, scraping and

  painting; he was lying out on yards, furling sails that tried to

  beat him off; he was dimly discernible up in a world of giant

  cobwebs, reefing and splicing; he was faintly audible down in

  holds, stowing and unshipping cargo; he was winding round and round

  at capstans melodious, monotonous, and drunk; he was of a

  diabolical aspect, with coaling for the Antipodes; he was washing

  decks barefoot, with the breast of his red shirt open to the blast,

  though it was sharper than the knife in his leathern girdle; he was

  looking over bulwarks, all eyes and hair; he was standing by at the

  shoot of the Cunard steamer, off to-morrow, as the stocks in trade

  of several butchers, poulterers, and fishmongers, poured down into

  the ice-house; he was coming aboard of other vessels, with his kit

  in a tarpaulin bag, attended by plunderers to the very last moment

  of his shore-going existence. As though his senses, when released

  from the uproar of the elements, were under obligation to be

  confused by other turmoil, there was a rattling of wheels, a

  clattering of hoofs, a clashing of iron, a jolting of cotton and

  hides and casks and timber, an incessant deafening disturbance on

  the quays, that was the very madness of sound. And as, in the

  midst of it, he stood swaying about, with his hair blown all manner

  of wild ways, rather crazedly taking leave of his plunderers, all

  the rigging in the docks was shrill in the wind, and every little

  steamer coming and going across the Mersey was sharp in its blowing

  off, and every buoy in the river bobbed spitefully up and down, as

  if there were a general taunting chorus of 'Come along, Mercantile

  Jack! Ill-lodged, ill-fed, ill-used, hocussed, entrapped,

  anticipated, cleaned out. Come along, Poor Mercantile Jack, and be

  tempest-tossed till you are drowned!'

  The uncommercial transaction which had brought me and Jack

  together, was this:- I had entered the Liverpool police force, that

  I might have a look at the various unlawful traps which are every

  night set for Jack. As my term of service in that distinguished

  corps was short, and as my personal bias in the capacity of one of

  its members has ceased, no suspicion will attach to my evidence

  that it is an admirable force. Besides that it is composed,

  without favour, of the best men that can be picked, it is directed

  by an unusual intelligence. Its organisation against Fires, I take

  to be much better than the metropolitan system, and in all respects

  it tempers its remarkable vigilance with a still more remarkable

  discretion.

  Jack had knocked off work in the docks some hours, and I had taken,

  for purposes of identification, a photograph-likeness of a thief,

  in the portrait-room at our head police office (on the whole, he

  seemed rather complimented by the proceeding), and I had been on

  police parade, and the small hand of the clock was moving on to

  ten, when I took up my lantern to follow Mr. Superintendent to the

  traps that were set for Jack. In Mr. Superintendent I saw, as

  anybody might, a tall, well-looking, well-set-up man of a soldierly

  bearing, with a cavalry air, a good chest, and a resolute but not

  by any means ungentle face. He carried in his hand a plain black

  walking-stick of hard wood; and whenever and wherever, at any

  after-time of the night, he struck it on the pavement with a

  ringing sound, it instantly produced a whistle out of the darkness,

  and a policeman. To this remarkable stick, I refer an air of

  mystery and magic which pervaded the whole of my perquisition among

  the traps that were set for Jack.

  We began by diving into the obscurest streets and lanes of the

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  Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

  port. Suddenly pausing in a flow of cheerful discourse, before a

  dead wall, apparently some ten miles long, Mr. Superintendent

  struck upon the ground, and the wall opened and shot out, with

  military salute of hand to temple, two policemen - not in the least

  surprised themselves, not in the least surprising Mr.

  Superintendent.

  'All right, Sharpeye?'

  'All right, sir.'

  'All right, Trampfoot?'

  'All right, sir.'

  'Is Quickear there?'

  'Here am I, sir.'

  'Come with us.'

  'Yes, sir.'

  So, Sharpeye went before, and Mr. Superintendent and I went next,

  and Trampfoot and Quickear marched as rear-guard. Sharp-eye, I

  soon had occasion to remark, had a skilful and quite professional

  way of opening doors - touched latches delicately, as if they were

  keys of musical instruments - opened every door he touched, as if

  he were perfectly confident that there was stolen property behind

  it - instantly insinuated himself, to prevent its being shut.

  Sharpeye opened several doors of traps that were set for Jack, but

  Jack did not happen to be in any of them. They were all such

  miserable places that really, Jack, if I were you, I would give

  them a wider berth. In every trap, somebody was sitting over a

  fire, waiting for Jack. Now, it was a crouching old woman, like

  the picture of the Norwood Gipsy in the old sixpenny dream-books;

  now, it was a crimp of the male sex, in a checked shirt and without

  a coat, reading a newspaper; now, it was a man crimp and a woman

  crimp, who always introduced themselves as united in holy

  matrimony; now, it was Jack's delight, his (un)lovely Nan; but they

  were all waiting for Jack, and were all frightfully disappointed to

  see us.

  'Who have you got up-stairs here?' says Sharpeye, generally. (In

  the Move-on tone.)

  'Nobody, surr; sure not a blessed sowl!' (Irish feminine reply.)

  'What do you mean by nobody? Didn't I hear a woman's step go upstairs

  when my hand was on the latch?'

  'Ah! sure thin you're right, surr, I forgot her! 'Tis on'y Betsy

  White, surr. Ah! you know Betsy, surr. Come down, Betsy darlin',

  and say the gintlemin.'

  Generally, Betsy looks over the banisters (the steep staircase is

  in the room) with a forcible expression in her protesting face, of

  an intention to compensate herself for the present trial by

  grinding Jack finer than usual when he does come. Generally,

  Sharpeye turns to Mr. Superintendent, and says, as if the subjects

  of his remarks were wax-work:

  'One of the worst, sir, this house is. This woman has been

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  Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

  indicted three times. This man's a regular bad one likewise. His

  real name is Pegg. Gives himself out as Waterhouse.'

  'Never had sitch a name as Pegg near me back, thin, since I was in

  this house, bee the good Lard!' says the woman.

  Generally, the man says nothing at all, but becomes exceedingly

  round-shouldered, and pretends to read his paper with rapt

  attention. Generally, Sharpeye directs our observation with a

  look, to the prints and
pictures that are invariably numerous on

  the walls. Always, Trampfoot and Quickear are taking notice on the

  doorstep. In default of Sharpeye being acquainted with the exact

  individuality of any gentleman encountered, one of these two is

  sure to proclaim from the outer air, like a gruff spectre, that

  Jackson is not Jackson, but knows himself to be Fogle; or that

  Canlon is Walker's brother, against whom there was not sufficient

  evidence; or that the man who says he never was at sea since he was

  a boy, came ashore from a voyage last Thursday, or sails tomorrow

  morning. 'And that is a bad class of man, you see,' says Mr.

  Superintendent, when he got out into the dark again, 'and very

  difficult to deal with, who, when he has made this place too hot to

  hold him, enters himself for a voyage as steward or cook, and is

  out of knowledge for months, and then turns up again worse than

  ever.'

  When we had gone into many such houses, and had come out (always

  leaving everybody relapsing into waiting for Jack), we started off

  to a singing-house where Jack was expected to muster strong.

  The vocalisation was taking place in a long low room up-stairs; at

  one end, an orchestra of two performers, and a small platform;

  across the room, a series of open pews for Jack, with an aisle down

  the middle; at the other end a larger pew than the rest, entitled

  SNUG, and reserved for mates and similar good company. About the

  room, some amazing coffee-coloured pictures varnished an inch deep,

  and some stuffed creatures in cases; dotted among the audience, in

  Sung and out of Snug, the 'Professionals;' among them, the

  celebrated comic favourite Mr. Banjo Bones, looking very hideous

  with his blackened face and limp sugar-loaf hat; beside him,

  sipping rum-and-water, Mrs. Banjo Bones, in her natural colours - a

  little heightened.

  It was a Friday night, and Friday night was considered not a good

  night for Jack. At any rate, Jack did not show in very great force

  even here, though the house was one to which he much resorts, and

  where a good deal of money is taken. There was British Jack, a

  little maudlin and sleepy, lolling over his empty glass, as if he

  were trying to read his fortune at the bottom; there was Loafing

  Jack of the Stars and Stripes, rather an unpromising customer, with

  his long nose, lank cheek, high cheek-bones, and nothing soft about

  him but his cabbage-leaf hat; there was Spanish Jack, with curls of

 

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