The Uncommercial Traveller

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The Uncommercial Traveller Page 10

by Dickens, Charles


  got back to my cool darkened room in the hotel, and was lying on a

  sofa there, before I began to reason with myself.

  Of course, I knew perfectly well that the large dark creature was

  stone dead, and that I should no more come upon him out of the

  place where I had seen him dead, than I should come upon the

  cathedral of Notre-Dame in an entirely new situation. What

  troubled me was the picture of the creature; and that had so

  curiously and strongly painted itself upon my brain, that I could

  not get rid of it until it was worn out.

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  I noticed the peculiarities of this possession, while it was a real

  discomfort to me. That very day, at dinner, some morsel on my

  plate looked like a piece of him, and I was glad to get up and go

  out. Later in the evening, I was walking along the Rue St. Honore,

  when I saw a bill at a public room there, announcing small-sword

  exercise, broad-sword exercise, wrestling, and other such feats. I

  went in, and some of the sword-play being very skilful, remained.

  A specimen of our own national sport, The British Boaxe, was

  announced to be given at the close of the evening. In an evil

  hour, I determined to wait for this Boaxe, as became a Briton. It

  was a clumsy specimen (executed by two English grooms out of

  place), but one of the combatants, receiving a straight righthander

  with the glove between his eyes, did exactly what the large

  dark creature in the Morgue had seemed going to do - and finished

  me for that night.

  There was rather a sickly smell (not at all an unusual fragrance in

  Paris) in the little ante-room of my apartment at the hotel. The

  large dark creature in the Morgue was by no direct experience

  associated with my sense of smell, because, when I came to the

  knowledge of him, he lay behind a wall of thick plate-glass as good

  as a wall of steel or marble for that matter. Yet the whiff of the

  room never failed to reproduce him. What was more curious, was the

  capriciousness with which his portrait seemed to light itself up in

  my mind, elsewhere. I might be walking in the Palais Royal, lazily

  enjoying the shop windows, and might be regaling myself with one of

  the ready-made clothes shops that are set out there. My eyes,

  wandering over impossible-waisted dressing-gowns and luminous

  waistcoats, would fall upon the master, or the shopman, or even the

  very dummy at the door, and would suggest to me, 'Something like

  him!' - and instantly I was sickened again.

  This would happen at the theatre, in the same manner. Often it

  would happen in the street, when I certainly was not looking for

  the likeness, and when probably there was no likeness there. It

  was not because the creature was dead that I was so haunted,

  because I know that I might have been (and I know it because I have

  been) equally attended by the image of a living aversion. This

  lasted about a week. The picture did not fade by degrees, in the

  sense that it became a whit less forcible and distinct, but in the

  sense that it obtruded itself less and less frequently. The

  experience may be worth considering by some who have the care of

  children. It would be difficult to overstate the intensity and

  accuracy of an intelligent child's observation. At that

  impressible time of life, it must sometimes produce a fixed

  impression. If the fixed impression be of an object terrible to

  the child, it will be (for want of reasoning upon) inseparable from

  great fear. Force the child at such a time, be Spartan with it,

  send it into the dark against its will, leave it in a lonely

  bedroom against its will, and you had better murder it.

  On a bright morning I rattled away from Paris, in the German

  chariot, and left the large dark creature behind me for good. I

  ought to confess, though, that I had been drawn back to the Morgue,

  after he was put underground, to look at his clothes, and that I

  found them frightfully like him - particularly his boots. However,

  I rattled away for Switzerland, looking forward and not backward,

  and so we parted company.

  Welcome again, the long, long spell of France, with the queer

  country inns, full of vases of flowers and clocks, in the dull

  little town, and with the little population not at all dull on the

  little Boulevard in the evening, under the little trees! Welcome

  Monsieur the Cure, walking alone in the early morning a short way

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  out of the town, reading that eternal Breviary of yours, which

  surely might be almost read, without book, by this time! Welcome

  Monsieur the Cure, later in the day, jolting through the highway

  dust (as if you had already ascended to the cloudy region), in a

  very big-headed cabriolet, with the dried mud of a dozen winters on

  it. Welcome again Monsieur the Cure, as we exchange salutations;

  you, straightening your back to look at the German chariot, while

  picking in your little village garden a vegetable or two for the

  day's soup: I, looking out of the German chariot window in that

  delicious traveller's trance which knows no cares, no yesterdays,

  no to-morrows, nothing but the passing objects and the passing

  scents and sounds! And so I came, in due course of delight, to

  Strasbourg, where I passed a wet Sunday evening at a window, while

  an idle trifle of a vaudeville was played for me at the opposite

  house.

  How such a large house came to have only three people living in it,

  was its own affair. There were at least a score of windows in its

  high roof alone; how many in its grotesque front, I soon gave up

  counting. The owner was a shopkeeper, by name Straudenheim; by

  trade - I couldn't make out what by trade, for he had forborne to

  write that up, and his shop was shut.

  At first, as I looked at Straudenheim's, through the steadily

  falling rain, I set him up in business in the goose-liver line.

  But, inspection of Straudenheim, who became visible at a window on

  the second floor, convinced me that there was something more

  precious than liver in the case. He wore a black velvet skull-cap,

  and looked usurious and rich. A large-lipped, pear-nosed old man,

  with white hair, and keen eyes, though near-sighted. He was

  writing at a desk, was Straudenheim, and ever and again left off

  writing, put his pen in his mouth, and went through actions with

  his right hand, like a man steadying piles of cash. Five-franc

  pieces, Straudenheim, or golden Napoleons? A jeweller,

  Straudenheim, a dealer in money, a diamond merchant, or what?

  Below Straudenheim, at a window on the first floor, sat his

  housekeeper - far from young, but of a comely presence, suggestive

  of a well-matured foot and ankle. She was cheerily dressed, had a

  fan in her hand, and wore large gold earrings and a large gold

  cross. She would have been out holiday-making (as I settled it)

  but for the pestilent rain. Strasbourg had given up holiday-making

  for that once, as a ba
d job, because the rain was jerking in gushes

  out of the old roof-spouts, and running in a brook down the middle

  of the street. The housekeeper, her arms folded on her bosom and

  her fan tapping her chin, was bright and smiling at her open

  window, but otherwise Straudenheim's house front was very dreary.

  The housekeeper's was the only open window in it; Straudenheim kept

  himself close, though it was a sultry evening when air is pleasant,

  and though the rain had brought into the town that vague refreshing

  smell of grass which rain does bring in the summer-time.

  The dim appearance of a man at Straudenheim's shoulder, inspired me

  with a misgiving that somebody had come to murder that flourishing

  merchant for the wealth with which I had handsomely endowed him:

  the rather, as it was an excited man, lean and long of figure, and

  evidently stealthy of foot. But, he conferred with Straudenheim

  instead of doing him a mortal injury, and then they both softly

  opened the other window of that room - which was immediately over

  the housekeeper's - and tried to see her by looking down. And my

  opinion of Straudenheim was much lowered when I saw that eminent

  citizen spit out of window, clearly with the hope of spitting on

  the housekeeper.

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  The unconscious housekeeper fanned herself, tossed her head, and

  laughed. Though unconscious of Straudenheim, she was conscious of

  somebody else - of me? - there was nobody else.

  After leaning so far out of the window, that I confidently expected

  to see their heels tilt up, Straudenheim and the lean man drew

  their heads in and shut the window. Presently, the house door

  secretly opened, and they slowly and spitefully crept forth into

  the pouring rain. They were coming over to me (I thought) to

  demand satisfaction for my looking at the housekeeper, when they

  plunged into a recess in the architecture under my window and

  dragged out the puniest of little soldiers, begirt with the most

  innocent of little swords. The tall glazed head-dress of this

  warrior, Straudenheim instantly knocked off, and out of it fell two

  sugar-sticks, and three or four large lumps of sugar.

  The warrior made no effort to recover his property or to pick up

  his shako, but looked with an expression of attention at

  Straudenheim when he kicked him five times, and also at the lean

  man when HE kicked him five times, and again at Straudenheim when

  he tore the breast of his (the warrior's) little coat open, and

  shook all his ten fingers in his face, as if they were ten

  thousand. When these outrages had been committed, Straudenheim and

  his man went into the house again and barred the door. A wonderful

  circumstance was, that the housekeeper who saw it all (and who

  could have taken six such warriors to her buxom bosom at once),

  only fanned herself and laughed as she had laughed before, and

  seemed to have no opinion about it, one way or other.

  But, the chief effect of the drama was the remarkable vengeance

  taken by the little warrior. Left alone in the rain, he picked up

  his shako; put it on, all wet and dirty as it was; retired into a

  court, of which Straudenheim's house formed the corner; wheeled

  about; and bringing his two forefingers close to the top of his

  nose, rubbed them over one another, cross-wise, in derision,

  defiance, and contempt of Straudenheim. Although Straudenheim

  could not possibly be supposed to be conscious of this strange

  proceeding, it so inflated and comforted the little warrior's soul,

  that twice he went away, and twice came back into the court to

  repeat it, as though it must goad his enemy to madness. Not only

  that, but he afterwards came back with two other small warriors,

  and they all three did it together. Not only that - as I live to

  tell the tale! - but just as it was falling quite dark, the three

  came back, bringing with them a huge bearded Sapper, whom they

  moved, by recital of the original wrong, to go through the same

  performance, with the same complete absence of all possible

  knowledge of it on the part of Straudenheim. And then they all

  went away, arm in arm, singing.

  I went away too, in the German chariot at sunrise, and rattled on,

  day after day, like one in a sweet dream; with so many clear little

  bells on the harness of the horses, that the nursery rhyme about

  Banbury Cross and the venerable lady who rode in state there, was

  always in my ears. And now I came to the land of wooden houses,

  innocent cakes, thin butter soup, and spotless little inn bedrooms

  with a family likeness to Dairies. And now the Swiss marksmen were

  for ever rifle-shooting at marks across gorges, so exceedingly near

  my ear, that I felt like a new Gesler in a Canton of Tells, and

  went in highly-deserved danger of my tyrannical life. The prizes

  at these shootings, were watches, smart handkerchiefs, hats,

  spoons, and (above all) tea-trays; and at these contests I came

  upon a more than usually accomplished and amiable countryman of my

  own, who had shot himself deaf in whole years of competition, and

  had won so many tea-trays that he went about the country with his

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  carriage full of them, like a glorified Cheap-Jack.

  In the mountain-country into which I had now travelled, a yoke of

  oxen were sometimes hooked on before the post-horses, and I went

  lumbering up, up, up, through mist and rain, with the roar of

  falling water for change of music. Of a sudden, mist and rain

  would clear away, and I would come down into picturesque little

  towns with gleaming spires and odd towers; and would stroll afoot

  into market-places in steep winding streets, where a hundred women

  in bodices, sold eggs and honey, butter and fruit, and suckled

  their children as they sat by their clean baskets, and had such

  enormous goitres (or glandular swellings in the throat) that it

  became a science to know where the nurse ended and the child began.

  About this time, I deserted my German chariot for the back of a

  mule (in colour and consistency so very like a dusty old hair trunk

  I once had at school, that I half expected to see my initials in

  brass-headed nails on his backbone), and went up a thousand rugged

  ways, and looked down at a thousand woods of fir and pine, and

  would on the whole have preferred my mule's keeping a little nearer

  to the inside, and not usually travelling with a hoof or two over

  the precipice - though much consoled by explanation that this was

  to be attributed to his great sagacity, by reason of his carrying

  broad loads of wood at other times, and not being clear but that I

  myself belonged to that station of life, and required as much room

  as they. He brought me safely, in his own wise way, among the

  passes of the Alps, and here I enjoyed a dozen climates a day;

  being now (like Don Quixote on the back of the wooden horse) in the

  region of wind, now in the region of fire, now in the region of

 
unmelting ice and snow. Here, I passed over trembling domes of

  ice, beneath which the cataract was roaring; and here was received

  under arches of icicles, of unspeakable beauty; and here the sweet

  air was so bracing and so light, that at halting-times I rolled in

  the snow when I saw my mule do it, thinking that he must know best.

  At this part of the journey we would come, at mid-day, into half an

  hour's thaw: when the rough mountain inn would be found on an

  island of deep mud in a sea of snow, while the baiting strings of

  mules, and the carts full of casks and bales, which had been in an

  Arctic condition a mile off, would steam again. By such ways and

  means, I would come to the cluster of chalets where I had to turn

  out of the track to see the waterfall; and then, uttering a howl

  like a young giant, on espying a traveller - in other words,

  something to eat - coming up the steep, the idiot lying on the

  wood-pile who sunned himself and nursed his goitre, would rouse the

  woman-guide within the hut, who would stream out hastily, throwing

  her child over one of her shoulders and her goitre over the other,

  as she came along. I slept at religious houses, and bleak refuges

  of many kinds, on this journey, and by the stove at night heard

  stories of travellers who had perished within call, in wreaths and

  drifts of snow. One night the stove within, and the cold outside,

  awakened childish associations long forgotten, and I dreamed I was

  in Russia - the identical serf out of a picture-book I had, before

  I could read it for myself - and that I was going to be knouted by

  a noble personage in a fur cap, boots, and earrings, who, I think,

  must have come out of some melodrama.

  Commend me to the beautiful waters among these mountains! Though I

  was not of their mind: they, being inveterately bent on getting

  down into the level country, and I ardently desiring to linger

  where I was. What desperate leaps they took, what dark abysses

  they plunged into, what rocks they wore away, what echoes they

  invoked! In one part where I went, they were pressed into the

  service of carrying wood down, to be burnt next winter, as costly

  fuel, in Italy. But, their fierce savage nature was not to be

  easily constrained, and they fought with every limb of the wood;

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