There was no reaction. He reached for the plastic truck on the desk, grabbed onto it, and started rolling it back and forth.
“Lucas,” she repeated, this time a bit louder.
Michelle watched Lucas, and when there was no reaction, she turned back to the screen and clicked through a few adjustments.
“Try now,” she said, keeping her eye on the screen.
Tracy leaned around him so she could watch his face. “Lucas, do you hear me? This is Mama.”
He looked at the truck in his hand, then threw it on the floor.
Tracy’s eyes filled with tears. “Does he not hear me?”
“It could be that the volume is still too low.” She made another adjustment. “Try again.”
A tear rolled down Tracy’s cheek as she called Lucas’s name in a quivering voice. Still there was no response. He wriggled forward and reached for another toy.
“Hmm.” Michelle left the computer, came around, checked the wires, then went back to her seat. She looked at the screen and scrunched her nose. “He should be hearing now. Try speaking a bit louder.”
Gabriel noticed the panic taking hold of Tracy’s face. With no warning to anyone, he clapped his hands. Not a polite clap of applause but one hand smacking hard against the other: SLAP-SLAP.
Lucas snapped his head up and turned with a startled look.
Gabriel laughed. “He can hear.”
“He can?” Tracy broke into a smile, and her eyes glistened with tears of happiness.
“He just doesn’t know what to make of the sound. It’s not unusual. Turn him around so that he’s facing you, and try talking to him again.”
Tracy reached over to the desk, pushed the toys back from his reach, then turned him to face her. She took his hand in hers and placed it at the base of her neck, just as Meghan had instructed. In a deep-throated voice, the kind she’d used to try and teach him the word, she said his name. This time she stretched it into two long syllables.
“Lu-cas.”
He looked up, wide-eyed.
Now certain he had heard her, she pulled her voice back to a more normal register and said, “Mama loves you, Lucas.”
As she spoke, he lifted both hands to her face and began searching for where the words were coming from. He held his fingers to her mouth and throat and the spot just below her jaw where sound bounces off bone.
Never before had Tracy known such happiness. Even the sweetest moments of loving Dominic paled in comparison to what her heart now felt. As Lucas’s tiny hands continued to explore her face, she spoke, saying the things she had waited so long to say, hoping that even though he had no understanding of the words, he would recognize the tenderness in her voice and feel the love she had for him. Lucas, still looking bewildered, moved his tiny hands across her face, feeling for the source of this new thing that had suddenly come into his head.
Michelle gave a grin of satisfaction.
“Okay,” she said. “Now I’m going to turn the sound off for a moment, make a few adjustments, then turn it back on.”
When the sound stopped, Lucas looked as confused as he had when it started. He put his fingers to Tracy’s mouth and pulled it open.
“Well, I’ll be,” Gabriel said, laughing. “He knows that’s where your voice came from, and he’s looking for it.”
“Is this good or bad?” Tracy asked.
“Good. Very good. He’s going to be a fast learner.”
Michelle looked up from the computer. “Okay, I’m ready to turn the sound on again. Three. Two. One.” She clicked the mouse. “It’s on.”
Looking square into his face, Tracy said, “Lucas, baby, Mama loves you.”
This time he waved his arms in the air and gave a happy squeal.
For almost three hours, this was how it went: on again, off again. One by one, Michelle tested each of the electrodes in his processors and made minute adjustments. At times Lucas responded with grunts, squeals, and babbling as if he were talking back, but he said no words. Not even the few he’d learned. It would take time—months, possibly years—before he would speak with understanding of the words’ meaning. In hearing age, he was a newborn.
For a long while, Lucas seemed excited and happy with the new sound in his head. When Michelle turned it off for an adjustment, he looked around as if it were something he’d misplaced, and when it came on again he looked at the person talking and babbled happily.
In time, Lucas tired of this new game. He reached up, grabbed one of the processors, and pulled it off.
“No,” Tracy said firmly. “Leave it.” She eased the processor back into position.
By then he’d grown fussy. When Gabriel spoke to him, he whined and buried his head in Tracy’s lap.
“He’s had enough for today,” Michelle said. “Let him get used to this, and tomorrow we can fine-tune a few more things.”
Tracy nodded. “He’s tired. It’s way past his naptime. That’s why he’s cranky.” She lifted him into her arms, and he laid a sleepy head on her shoulder.
Michelle suggested Tracy leave the processors off for a while, put them on for an hour or so after dinner, and then take them off when he went to bed.
“It takes a little bit of time for a child to get used to this, so bear that in mind, and let him work through these changes at his own speed. For the next week or so, you may occasionally need to take the processors off and give him a rest. Don’t be afraid to do it.”
“How will I know when it’s time?”
Michelle laughed. “You’re his mama. You’ll know.”
Afterward, Gabriel walked with them to the car, and before Tracy had finished buckling Lucas into his seat, he was fast asleep.
As she climbed behind the wheel, Gabriel said, “It was a good day. I think Lucas will do very well.”
Tracy looked up. “Is that a guarantee?”
“A ninety-nine percent guarantee,” Gabriel replied, his eyes twinkling.
Tracy
It’s funny. Your head can understand the logic of something, but that doesn’t keep your heart from wishing for more. Gabriel and I have talked a lot about what to expect, and I knew after the sound was turned on, Lucas wasn’t just going to suddenly start talking, but I was wishing he’d maybe repeat one word: mama. That’s all I was hoping to hear.
No one expects an infant to pop out of his mama’s belly and say, Hi, Mom, so right now I’ve got to remember Lucas’s hearing and speaking abilities are at the same stage as an infant’s. Have patience, Gabriel said to me. I’m trying.
Lucas will start speech therapy soon. Nothing hard, just easy stuff. Mostly differentiating sounds. Gabriel claims that once he understands the process of associating a word sound with a given object, he’ll start talking in his own sweet time. I know this is good advice, but it’s hard to be patient when your heart feels like it’s so full it could explode. There are a thousand things I want to tell Lucas, but until he understands the meaning of words, it’ll be nothing but babble to him.
Maybe Meghan has the right idea. I should write what I’m feeling in one of those composition books and then read it to him once he’s old enough to understand.
I haven’t always appreciated Meghan, but the truth is she’s good for me. She pushes me to be more than I am. I remember when she first started talking about Gabriel. She spoke about him like he was some kind of superhuman god, and it annoyed me to no end. But once she decided Lucas needed her help, she was like a dog with a bone—determined not to let go.
Now I’m glad she didn’t.
It’s a shame that Dominic, Lucas’s own daddy, doesn’t show one bit of interest in him, but Gabriel, who’s practically a stranger, cares.
I think that says a lot about both men.
Sharing the News
Lucas was still asleep when Tracy arrived home. She unbuckled him, hefted him onto her shoulder, and carried him up to his crib.
Lila spotted her coming down the stairs and asked, “Is Lucas napping?”
Grinning ear to ear, Tracy gave a nod, then walked over and linked her arm through Lila’s.
“Come on, Mama, let’s go have a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Is there any of that fudge cake left?”
Lila gave a suspicious-looking sideways glance. “Fudge cake? An hour before dinner?”
“Yeah, we’re celebrating.”
“Celebrating what?” Barely taking time for a breath, she added, “If this has anything to do with Dominic—”
“Relax, Mama, this isn’t about him.” On the way back to the kitchen, Tracy poked her head into the Snip ’N’ Save office and asked Meghan to join them.
When they were finally settled at the table, Tracy gave them her news. “I couldn’t say anything earlier, but I have something great to tell you.”
Lila and Meghan looked across with wide-eyed anticipation.
“Today Lucas’s sound was turned on.” Tracy had a look of happiness they hadn’t seen in a very long time. “I would have told you sooner, but the audiologist thought that for this first time, less distraction would be better.”
“Oh, how I wish I could have been there.” Lila sighed.
Tracy gave a happy grin. “It just so happens we’ve got another appointment tomorrow, and Gabriel told me it’s okay if the family comes.”
Equally bright grins lit Meghan’s and Lila’s faces.
“I’ll get Sheldon to handle the Snip ’N’ Save,” Meghan suggested, “and we can go to that lovely little café for lunch afterward.”
“Sounds good,” Tracy said. “Mind if I invite Gabriel to join us for lunch?”
The corners of Meghan’s mouth curled. “Of course not.”
“So what happened?” Lila asked.
As Tracy told of how Lucas fingered her face in search of the sound, Meghan laughed. “He’s a smart little rascal. He remembered us teaching him to feel the words in our throat.”
Lila brushed back the tear that crested the rim of her eye. “He’ll be talking in no time. I just know he will.” She looked down at her hands for a brief moment, then lifted her eyes and met Tracy’s. “I know this hasn’t been easy, but you’ve handled it beautifully. I’m so proud of you, Tracy, proud of the woman you’ve become and the kind of mother you are to Lucas.” She hesitated a moment and shifted her eyes to Meghan. “I’m proud of both my girls. When your daddy died, I didn’t know how it would be possible for me to carry on and hold this family together, but the two of you have shown me what real courage is like. I couldn’t have done it without—”
Before Lila could finish her statement, Tracy and Meghan were out of their seats, around the table, and wrapping her in a family hug.
There were several minutes of heartfelt embraces and tears of happiness, and for the first time in almost four years, Lila could imagine George smiling down on them.
Later that evening, Tracy reconnected Lucas’s processors, and he toddled around as if nothing had changed. She’d hoped for more of a reaction, something to indicate he was hearing her voice and becoming familiar with it. Granted, it was too soon for him to understand her words, but was it too much to hope he’d recognize her voice?
Although he no longer tried to pull the processors off, he also paid almost no attention to the voices calling him.
“Lucas, come to Mama,” Tracy called, but he ignored her.
The only way she knew for certain he heard the sounds was because of Sox. Whenever the dog barked, Lucas squealed with delight, jiggling up and down on his chubby little legs and excitedly waving his arms in the air.
“Sah, Sah!” he called, and lumbered toward the dog.
The following day, Gabriel greeted them at the door but did not join them in the audiology studio.
“Today should be about family,” he said.
Bristling with anticipation, the Briggs family crowded into the small room, Meghan standing behind the chairs and Lila beside Tracy. Lucas was again in her lap. Although they expected something miraculous to happen, it turned out to be much the same as the previous day. Michelle adjusted the sound on each electrode, then waited for Lucas’s reaction, which was slow in coming.
On the one occasion when Lucas did react to the sound, Meghan elbowed Lila and turned to see her mama’s face wearing a smile as broad as her own. “Can you believe . . . ,” she whispered gleefully.
After an hour of checks and balances, Michelle said, “That’s it for now. Let’s see how he does, and I’ll reevaluate his mapping in thirty days.”
As Tracy stood and gathered her things, Michelle added, “Oh, and before you go, Gabriel wants Lucas to meet his therapist.” She buzzed his office and told him they would be down shortly.
Remembering the day she’d stood at the window and watched the therapist working with a child who spoke words and identified objects by name, Tracy nervously asked, “Is Lucas ready for that?”
“Absolutely,” Michelle said.
Lila pinched her brows together. “You do realize Lucas is only sixteen months old, don’t you? It would seem that’s rather young.”
“We have children as young as ten and eleven months in therapy classes,” Michelle said. “Not only will Lucas learn faster with a structured program, but more important, we’ll teach the family how to work with him and accelerate his learning.”
As they left the room, Tracy looked back and gave a nod of appreciation.
When they arrived in the lobby, she spotted Gabriel at the end of the hall. It was too far to see his face, but Tracy had come to know his stance and walk, the way he stood with his back straight and his shoulders squared. She knew the cut of his chin and the casual way a lock of hair dropped down onto his forehead. As he drew closer, she saw the familiar smile, warm and welcoming, and when he stood next to her, she caught the scent of his aftershave, a woodsy fragrance reminiscent of the trees after a spring rain.
Tracy smiled. “I didn’t realize we were going to start Lucas’s therapy so soon.”
“The sooner we start, the faster he’ll learn,” Gabriel replied. “Besides, I found an opening with a therapist I think you’ll like.”
They moved along the hall and stopped in front of a door with a nameplate reading DR. H. BRANDON. When Gabriel pushed it open, Tracy saw the therapist sitting behind the desk. She was a woman with silver hair, violet eyes, and a face that made you feel good to be looking at it.
“Good morning, Helene,” he said, then turned to Tracy. “I want you to meet Dr. Helene Brandon. Helene will be working with Lucas.”
As he continued the introductions, the woman rose from her chair and started toward them.
“It’s a pleasure,” she said, and offered her hand.
“Holy cow!” Tracy exclaimed. “You’re the therapist who was teaching Ella!”
Dr. Brandon raised an eyebrow. “Have we met before?”
“No,” Tracy replied, “but when Gabriel took us on a tour of the school, I saw you working with Ella, and I was so impressed. I thought, ‘If only Lucas could work with her.’”
Giving a soft chuckle, Helene said, “Thank you, but I’m just doing my job. The ones who are truly impressive are the children.” She bent and squatted face-to-face with Lucas.
“Hello, Lucas.”
In clear distinctive tones, she went on to say she’d be working with him and they were going to have a lot of fun together. She spoke as if he could understand every word, and as she was talking, he reached out and touched her mouth.
Helene laughed. “I can see Lucas will learn quickly. He’s already figured out where my words are coming from.”
They spent several minutes talking, then scheduled Lucas’s first therapy session for the following week.
“I’d like you or a member of your family here,” Helene said. “The most important part of Lucas’s therapy will be understanding how we feed words into his brain.”
“I’ll be here,” Tracy said.
“I’m available also,” Lila volunteered.
When they left Dr. Brandon’s office, Tracy tur
ned to Gabriel. “We’re going to celebrate today with lunch at that little café. Would you like to join us?”
“Not today, unfortunately,” he said. “I’ve got a busy schedule.”
“Oh. Okay.” Tracy felt an unexpected sense of disappointment wash over her.
A Temp Job
By early October, the Briggs household had settled into a completely different routine. Tracy worked full-time at the Snip ’N’ Save, except on Thursdays when she took Lucas for his therapy. More often than not, they went to lunch with Gabriel afterward. Although not a word was mentioned, you could almost see something special in the way they looked at one another. Dr. Brandon just happened to schedule Lucas’s therapy sessions for 10:15, which meant they’d finish up in time for lunch, and coincidentally Thelma, the waitress at the café, began asking Gabriel if they’d like a dessert to share.
Dominic called a number of times. In September it was to ask how Lucas’s surgery had gone and if Tracy was ready to come back to Philadelphia.
“I told you I’m not coming back,” she said. “Not ever, so you can stop asking.”
Another call came later in the month. He said if she wasn’t coming back, he was giving up the apartment and would be staying in a room above the bar.
“If you come to your senses and decide to return home where you belong, we can get another place,” he said, “but I’m tired of paying for something I don’t use.”
Tracy assured him she’d already come to her senses and was precisely where she belonged. When he said, “Suit yourself,” and hung up, she thought that would be the last of him, but it wasn’t. Despite her rejection, he continued to call, and each time he warned that this would be his last offer to take her back.
“Good,” she inevitably replied, and hung up.
That fall everyone in the Briggs household seemed happier. For the first time in well over twenty years Lila had a toddler to fuss over, and she was cooking up a storm. Following Dr. Brandon’s instructions, she talked to Lucas all day long, giving a specific word to each task as she performed it.
The Summer of New Beginnings: A Magnolia Grove Novel Page 20
