I can’t take my eyes off of his beautiful mouth. I bet that mouth is talented, too. His breath tickles my lips as he hovers, gauging my reaction. After several tense seconds his lips meet mine hesitantly. It’s like he’s expecting me to run away. The gentle touch emboldens me.
I press my mouth to his and run my tongue along his bottom lip. He shudders and I slip my tongue inside his mouth. Ethan lets me set the pace without any complaint. I reach up and run my fingers through his hair, pressing myself closer to him. I can feel his hardness against my thigh and instead of terrifying me it sends an excited shiver through me. He tastes like pure man. I deepen the kiss, feeling as though I might drown in need. He pulls back and I whimper embarrassingly.
"You’re not drunk or high right now, right?" He asks as he nuzzles my neck.
"No," I assure him.
His hands grab my ass and he hauls me against him. I lift my legs up and wrap them around his waist. He pushes me back against the wall. My aching center rests against his erection and I moan at the pleasure that shoots through me. I grind against him as I nip and suck his bottom lip.
“Fuck Abby,” He mumbles pressing into me.
Swinging me around Ethan places me on the couch, staying on top of me. Even in this position he lets me call the shots, holding himself just slightly over me so that I have to arch up to grind against him. He’s so fucking perfect. It’s like he’s reading my mind and knows exactly what I need. His hand roams slowly over my thigh and I feel a warmth spreading over me. I pull his shirt off and run my hands along his hard body. God, he is too incredible to be real. He allows me to pull my own shirt off before cupping my breast. His hand is gentle against me, gentler than I expected. Justin had always been rough. I slip my pants down and grind against him again.
“I want you to touch me,” I gasp as Ethan runs his tongue along my throat.
“Where baby?” He wants me to say it before he does anything.
He slowly moves his hand further up my thigh waiting for my answer. I blush trying to think of the words he wants to hear.
“I want you to...touch my...pussy,” I finally manage.
I’m immediately rewarded with his finger slipping inside of me. I’m breathless already awaiting his next move.
“I’m going to make you come Abby, and I want you to scream my name when you do,” He whispers into my neck.
I nod in agreement. He begins to stroke me rhythmically while using his thumb to rub my clit. I can feel my body starting to tense as I thrust against his hand shamelessly. He slips a second finger inside of me and I come apart. Glorious spasms ripple through me.
“Ethan, fuck, Ethan,” I cry out as the pleasure goes on and on.
He doesn’t stop until the last spasm is wrung from my body.
“Ethan...that was…” I don’t even have words.
If I had known that that was what I’d been missing out on I would’ve taken up kickboxing sooner just so I could beat the shit out of Justin and then gone to find a man who knew what he was doing.
He chuckles and lays down next to me. He pulls me against him so that we’re spooning on the couch. I can feel his erection still against me. Brief memories of Justin flit through my mind.
“Jesus Abby it’s not going to suck itself.”
I tense and try violently to shake the voice out of my head.
“What’s wrong baby?” Ethan notices my sudden change.
“Nothing,” I smile over my shoulder at him. “It’s your turn,” I try to sound sexy but I feel the anxiety snaking through me. I can’t get enough air into my lungs and my heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest.
“No Red, that was for you. I wasn’t trying to get anything in return,” I feel myself relax. I hadn’t even known that was a possibility.
“Does that usually work to get into a girl’s pants?” I ask with a bitter laugh.
God what is wrong with me right now? I just have to find a way to ruin this, don’t I?
“Not sure Red, I’ve never had the occasion to say anything like that before. I’m usually more worried about my needs,” He admits with an edge to his voice.
“So why be different with me?” I ask softly, not sure I want an answer. “Why kiss me? Why break your rules for me?”
“I don’t have a very good answer for you, Abby. I just know that I feel differently about you than I’ve felt about anyone before.” He places a gentle kiss against the back of my neck.
The oven beeps.
“Dinner’s ready.”
I excuse myself to the bathroom to collect myself while Ethan gets diner out of the oven. I splash water on my face and take several deep breaths. I’m still shaking from the way Ethan touched me.
Oh god, are things going to get awkward between us now? I’d spent the entire day weighing the pros and cons of changing our relationship but having to actually face the reality is a lot more daunting. What if all of the easy, fun hang-outs are over now? What if he sees this as a one-time thing and now he’ll move on? My stomach lurches.
A knock at the bathroom door startles me.
“Are you okay Red?” He asks hesitantly through the door. I take one more steadying breath and look at myself in the mirror to make sure I don’t look as freaked out as I feel inside. Then I open the door to face him. His expression is unreadable. I would kill to know what he’s thinking right now.
“I’m fine,” I put on a fake smile to try to convince him, and myself.
Back in the living room Ethan has two plates of lasagna and garlic bread sitting on the coffee table looking delicious.
“So, have you ever seen ‘The Shining’?” He asks after a few minutes of awkward silence.
I nod though a mouthful of lasagna.
“Now, don’t get me wrong I like Stephen King, but that movie has some serious flaws.”
“Like what?” I challenge.
“Well, first of all, the movie might as well have just been called ‘Overlook Hotel’ because the fact that the kid had ‘the shining’ had absolutely no effect on the plot. In fact, had it been only Jack Nicholson and the wife the movie would have been exactly the same.”
And, just like that we fall back into normalcy.
Chapter 16
Ethan
“Why are you smiling like such a psycho?” Lee asks, eyeing me suspiciously over her coffee.
“I’m happy, you should try it some time,” I joke. She gives me the finger and a smile.
“I meant what’s making you so happy? Did you change your mind about the celibate lifestyle?”
“You are hilarious dear sister. And no, I didn’t get laid if that’s the question.”
As if on cue Abby stumbles out of her bedroom. She’s definitely not a morning person. Abby pauses as our eyes meet and something passes between us. It’s all I can do not to get up from the table and kiss her. I need to get a grip. For all I know she isn’t interested in a round two.
My dick hardens at the sudden memory of my fingers inside of her last night. The way her face looked when she came, screaming my name. But, fuck, it’s so much more than that. She’d clearly freaked out as soon as the idea occurred to her to ‘repay the favor’, and it made me want to find a way to bring that fuckhead ex of hers back to life just so that I could murder him all over again. It’s not because I was pissed that I wasn’t getting a blow job, fuck that, I don’t care if Abby never does anything for me in return. I just can’t stand to see that terrified look in her eyes ever again.
I’ve never felt this way about a woman. In all honesty, I thought that it was complete bullshit made up by Hollywood and romance writers that anyone could feel this way. I am so completely fucked, and I don’t even care.
“Somehow I find that hard to believe,” Lee mutters under her breath.
I shoot her a warning look. I get up from the table to join Red in the kitchen. We stare at each other again for several seconds, both waiting for the other to say something.
“Listen, I was wonder
ing if you wanted to go see the new X-men with me tonight?” The words hang in the air between us as Abby continues to stare at me.
It’s clear in her eyes that she’s having an internal struggle.
“We’re friends right? I mean, we’ve been friends for a little while now, and I thought that doing nerdy things together was kind of our thing. This isn’t a date,” I assure her.
I can’t deny part of me wants this to be a date. She’s skittish, I remind myself. Don’t push too hard or she’ll bolt.
“Sure, you can pick me up from my last class if you want.”
I nod and leave her to make her coffee, I don’t want to press my luck.
Abby
I settle into my usual seat in my microbiology class. I glance at the clock. I’m early. I’d rushed to leave the house this morning feeling far too awkward there with Ethan and Lee. Ugh, I’m such a chicken shit. Ethan was totally normal this morning, nothing weird, but I still can’t seem to relax. He’s made it clear that things don’t need to be awkward. Although, he hasn’t made it clear where we stand. Maybe that’s my fault though, too. I have no idea where I even want to stand. Well, that’s not true, I know where I want to stand. I also know where things should stand. I’m too messed up to be in a relationship. It’s not worth it.
A blonde girl and her friend enter the classroom and sit behind me. I’ve sat in front of them all semester and haven’t turned around to bother to learn their names. They always have such shallow conversations there doesn’t seem to be much of a point in doing so.
“So after three months of his pathetic fumbling in bed I decided to call it off. I swear that boy couldn’t find my g-spot if I had a flashing sign installed pointing to it,” the blonde says.
“If I had a nickel,” Her friend quips. “Oh, you know if you’re just looking to have the itch scratched there’s a guy you should meet. He’s unbelievably hot and word around campus is that he always gets the job done.”
“What’s the catch?” Blondie asks.
“He only does hook-ups. He won’t exchange numbers and he doesn’t talk much. Well, except for dirty talk,” The friend explains.
My stomach drops. Somehow I just know they’re talking about Ethan.
“So one mind blowing orgasm and he sends you out the door?”
“Oh no, he’ll go all night. I hooked up with him my freshman year and I swear I didn’t walk right for a week. He says he only does ‘one time things’ but I hooked up with him a few times. Never once was I disappointed. Then after a few times he started blowing me off. I took a hint. He ruined me for other men though, I swear,” She giggles.
I want to turn around and punch her in the face. Suddenly I feel self-conscious about our sort of hook up last night. Not like anyone knows about it, thankfully. Not that I’m ashamed of hooking up with Ethan. Gah this is exhausting. I just don’t want to be one of these stupid girls. In fact, I think I actually kind of feel bad for him.
All these girls want from him is to get off. They don’t care that he’s interested in philosophy, or he’s a huge nerd, or he loves mac and cheese. All they want is his dick.
My stomach rolls and I think I might actually vomit. I’m just as bad as they are. All I wanted from him was to get off. Or, maybe I’m just an idiot. Maybe Ethan’s happy with all these girls just spreading their legs for him with no questions asked. Before I can contemplate this any longer the professor enters the room and begins his lecture on the gluconeogenesis cycle.
Ethan’s waiting in his beat up Honda outside my human sexuality class at the end of the day. I try to hide my smile. It’s actually really nice to have someone waiting for me.
“Hey Red, how was your day?” He asks as I slide into the warm car.
“It was a day,” I say with a shrug.
“Alright there Socrates,” He laughs and I can’t help but smile.
I look over at his unshaven face and messy hair. My mind travels to the sensual, firm feel of his lips against mine last night.
“Can I ask you about something?” I finally ask.
“Of course Red, what’s on your mind?” He asks as he pulls out of the parking lot and heads towards the movie theater.
A million questions ping pong in my head. ‘What are you feeling about last night?’, ‘When can we do that again?’, ‘Now that you’ve given me my first orgasm are you happy to move on to other women again?’
“Come on Red, you’re killing me with your silence.” He teases but the tension is clear in his eyes.
“Do you think anyone would even think Benedict Cumberbatch is so hot if he wasn’t such a good Sherlock?”
Ethan blinks several times clearly trying to decide if he’s going to call me out and force me to ask one of the real questions on my mind.
“Probably not, he’s kind of a strange looking dude.”
I nod and shift awkwardly in my seat. Maybe this is why people don’t mess around with friends because then the sexual tension never goes away. I sigh and steal a glance at him. He looks like he wants to say something but is having an internal debate. Welcome to the club my friend.
“So...does the one night stand thing only count once we’ve had sex or was last night it?” I finally blurt.
Ethan smiles and relief is evident in his blue eyes.
“First of all, last night definitely did not count. And second, the one night only thing isn’t really a hard and fast rule. And third, even if it was a strict rule, I find myself breaking my rules for you Red. I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”
“I know that the ‘one night rule’ isn’t set in stone, I overheard some girls talking today.” I try to ignore the jealousy snaking through me. Maybe the kissing thing wasn’t a hard and fast rule either.
“Red, listen,” Ethan pulls into a parking spot at the movie theater and turns to face me. “The no kissing rule was the only strict rule I had and I bulldozed right through that one for you.”
It’s like he can read my mind, that’s just not fair.
“But why?” I finally ask the question that’s been bothering me since the first kiss. “Why me?”
“I like you Red, you aren’t like any other woman I’ve ever met. I feel like I can be myself around you. And, I hope to hell that last night wasn’t a one-time thing for us. I’m yours for as long as you want me sweetheart,” His face is full of vulnerability.
My heart stutters as I try to come up with a response. ‘You’re a worthless piece of shit, don’t ever forget that’ my dad’s voice echoes in my mind.
“You’ll change your mind,” I argue quietly. Ethan opens his mouth to protest but I put a hand over it. “Let's just keep things casual. We’re friends, and when the urge strikes us we have hook up. That’s not complicated, it doesn’t need to be. No labels, no commitments.”
Ethan’s eyes flash with dissent, clearly contemplating whether or not he should speak his mind. Finally, he nods his head once and I remove my hand from covering his mouth.
Ethan
I’m not sure if I’m happy or offended by the arrangement she’s suggested. I’m happy that Abby is willing to give something a chance, I guess. Maybe this will be a stepping stone. We hadn’t exactly discussed any details so I’m particularly glad Abby isn’t the kind of girl who gets around. I don’t want her with anyone else. She was very explicit about ‘no labels’ and ‘keep it casual’ so I doubt a ‘please don’t fuck anyone else’ conversation would have gone well.
I pass Red the popcorn and push the armrest between us up so I can put my arm around her. She’s tense for several seconds, probably trying to decide if my arm around her implies that this is a date. We snuggle on the couch at home, what’s the fucking difference? I take a deep breath. I don’t want to get annoyed, I need to give her time. She’ll come around eventually.
Chapter 17
Abby
“That movie was good, thanks for inviting me,” I yawn and lay down on the couch as soon as we get back to my apartment. Ethan lifts my feet and si
ts down so that my feet are in his lap.
“I’m glad to finally have someone to go to all the nerdy shit with me,” He says.
Ethan starts to rub my feet and I moan with contentment.
“Are you trying to seduce me?” I ask jokingly.
“Why? Is it working?”
“Oh yeah.”
He chuckles and continues to massage my feet. I close my eyes and enjoy his strong hands on me. After he’s done with my feet his hands move up and begin massaging my calves. I could die of relaxation.
“You look tired Red, you want to go to bed?” Ethan asks and I laugh again.
“Wow that was smooth.”
“I thought so,” Ethan agrees with a chuckle before grabbing me around the middle and hoisting me over his shoulder.
“Where are we going?” I giggle and squirm against him.
“To. Bed.” Ethan says each word individually like I should be on the special bus.
I don’t protest, I just enjoy the view of his sculpted ass as he carries me over his shoulder to my bedroom.
He lays me gently on the bed and stares down at me hesitantly. Like he’s waiting for me to say something or make the first move. I reach up and run my fingers through his dark hair and place a soft kiss against his lips. Uncertainty wraps itself around my brain. I’ve never had sex because I’ve wanted to before. But boy do I want to right now with Ethan.
Ethan
Abby pulls away to yank her shirt over her head. My gaze travels over her body as she splays herself on the bed before me. Fuck, she is amazing. My eyes fall on a small tattoo on the left side of her rib cage just below her breasts. I lean closer to read the delicate writing.‘I create myself’I run a thumb along the words. What would it take for her to tell me what it means? She looks at me with concern, like she’s waiting for me to pass judgment on the tattoo.
“It’s sexy,” I say finally.
She relaxes at my words.
“My ex, said that girls shouldn’t have tattoos,” She confesses anxiously.
Worth the Wait (Sexy Nerd Boys #1) Page 9
