by Mary May
Sabrina sat there looking like she had lost her best friend until she heard that very recognizable rumble in the distance. She jumped up and flashed Cleo a brilliant smile over her shoulder as she raced to the front door.
Devon drove up and saw several cars parked in the drive. He recognized them and knew that Sabrina’s family had arrived. He liked her family very much, even though Carl did study him like a bug under a microscope at times. He reached down and hit the kill switch on the bike then kicked down the kickstand, breathing a big sigh of relief to finally be back to where his heart had been since he left. He heard the front door open and looked up at the same time Sabrina stepped out of the house. She was wearing a dark red sweater with a loose neckline that showed off her pretty collarbone and slim neck, with a black skirt that hit just above her knees. Her brown curls were piled on her head in a messy knot that made his fingers itch to release the clip. He sat there for a few long seconds just drinking in the sight of her.
Sabrina opened the door and told her heart to stop jumping around so much at the sight of Devon. He was sitting on the bike looking at the house like it was a sight he was longing for. Then his gaze landed on her. She could feel the heat from his stare, and she could feel the blush warming up her cheeks. Devon’s eyes roamed over her several times like a starving man might look at a steak. She started down the steps as he started up them and they met in the middle. She opened her mouth to say hi, but he silenced her greeting with a searing kiss.
Devon couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and pulling Sabrina into his arms, and he had to see if her lips where as sweet as he remembered. The little kiss on the staircase had been all his mind could focus on since he left. He felt her melt into him as he angled his head and deepened the kiss, but like before she put her hand on his chest and stepped away. After she had caught her breath she looked up and smiled, “Hi.”
Devon grinned then kissed the bridge of her nose. “Hi, yourself, darlin’.” He tilted his head back toward the driveway. “I see the folks made it in; everyone good?”
They turned and started up the stairs. “Yes, everyone is just fine; Keelie is actually showing a little bit already. They are all in the den taking turns at keeping Charlie out of the presents. It’s about time you showed up to take your turn at it!”
Devon’s laughter rumbled deep in his chest. “I hate to ruin your good plan, darling,’ but I’m terrible at waiting myself. If it was up to me, Charlie would already have her gifts. I would be a bad influence on her.”
Sabrina didn’t comment but she was thinking the tall blonde man beside her was without a doubt a bad influence all right…on her.
“You do realize you’re growling like Moppet does at the neighbor’s cat?” Gideon turned away from the window.
“I guess Moppet does it better because this particular cat keeps showing back up.” Edgar sighed and went back to setting the table.
Gideon took another peek out the window. “What are you sighing about, old man?”
He heard Edgar muttering so he turned around. The butler was setting a basket of rolls on the table and he looked around to make sure no one was close by. “I said who am I to question the wisdom of a century’s old warrior? Maybe you can control what mankind has been trying to control since the Garden of Eden.”
Gideon frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Edgar stopped and turned before going into the kitchen. He patted his chest, “The human heart.”
Sabrina and Devon walked into the den and heard Charlie trying to sweet talk her poppy into letting her open one tiny present. Carl was holding firm, and he swung his granddaughter up on his shoulders to keep her out of mischief when Charlie spotted Devon standing with her mother. “Devon!” Charlie started squirming to get down and she ran over to Devon, who lifted her high in the air before hugging her close,
“Hey, there, Charlie girl! How have you been? Let me see your pretty dress!” Charlie spun and twirled in a circle, letting Devon admire her Christmas dress. It was white with a tiered ruffled skirt that hit her below the knees and a sweetheart neckline. She was wearing little black Mary Janes on her tiny feet. Sabrina had swept her hair up on top of her head in a knot of messy curls very similar to her own, the difference being the green and red ribbons that Sabrina had twisted through the curls.
“It’s a birthday party for baby Jesus!” Charlie announced in a loud whisper.
Devon squatted down. “I know that makes today pretty special, don’t it?”
Charlie nodded. “’Cept baby Jesus isn’t a baby no more and He lives in heaven with all the angels and my daddy, so we can give presents to each other.”
Devon chuckled. “That’s right, baby girl. You reckon there might be a present under that tree for you?”
Charlie’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, yes, Mommy says I’ve got lots and lots of presents under the tree!” Charlie leaned closer and cupped her mouth around Devon’s ear. “I already shook a bunch of them!”
Devon laughed then whispered back in her ear. “I won’t tell, I promise!” Then he stood giving the little angel in front of him a wink.
Carl walked forward and offered his hand. “Good to see you again, Devon. Did you get all your business taken care of?”
Devon shook the older man’s hand. “No, unfortunately I didn’t. I will be leaving the day after tomorrow to finish it up.”
Devon felt Sabrina pull on his left arm. “You’re leaving again so soon? You just got back!”
He saw the disappointment in her eyes and he felt like a thousand pound quarter horse just ran rough shod over his heart. “I’m sorry, but this will be a short visit. I really shouldn’t have come home at all, but I didn’t want to miss Christmas.” Sabrina nodded then said she was going to check on dinner preparations and left the room.
Carl clapped Devon on the shoulder. “Son, let’s you and me go take a look at that night sky.”
Devon followed Carl out to the gazebo where Catherine and Evan had exchanged their vows. Carl stepped up and leaned against the post, looking up at the sky. Devon sat on the railing and waited.
“I guess you know that Sabrina’s daddy is gone?”
Devon nodded. “Yes, sir, I do.”
Carl turned and sat across the gazebo. “I would never try to take her daddy’s place, and Evan is a good man, don’t get me wrong, but he doesn’t have the history that Sabrina and I have. Do you follow me?”
Again Devon nodded. “Yes, sir, I do.” He watched as Carl stretched his legs out in front of him.
“I’m a Christian man and try hard not to judge anyone until I know their story. Even then I take into account that people change and grow up.”
Devon narrowed his eyes but he remained silent and waited for Carl to continue.
“I had you checked out and what I found left a real bad taste in my mouth.” Carl leveled a look at Devon that only a cop with many years under his belt could pull off. “Son, like I said, I’m a Christian man, and I try to follow the example that Christ led while He walked this earth, but I need you to understand something.” Carl didn’t wait for a response. “If something from your past ever causes harm to Sabrina or Charlie, I will take care of you myself, and me and the Good Lord will sort it out later. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” Carl stood up and waited for Devon to speak.
Devon rose to his feet as well and stood looking down at Carl. He inclined his head then turned and stepped out of the gazebo and walked back to the house.
Carl stood there for a few more minutes. He knew he probably just made an enemy, but he had to make sure that Devon knew that he knew about his past. More importantly, he needed to know that Sabrina had a family that cared very much for her and that the young man had better not be toying with her heart.
Instead of going straight back inside the house, Devon walked the grounds of the estate for a few minutes. He had to reign in his temper and get control of himself before he faced that crowd again. He wasn’t surprised that Carl had him
checked out; in fact, he already knew about it. What Carl might be interested to know was that Evan had been doing some checking of his own. They would only find what Devon left for them to find. His real past was gone, erased from every known source. He knew that Carl had a good head on his shoulders and most likely all of his warning bells were sounding off. He could respect that. He didn’t like it…but he respected it.
Sabrina was in the kitchen with Cleo and her mother. They were taking the ham out of the oven. Catherine and Cleo hit it off immediately and they were chatting and swapping recipes for various dishes. They didn’t even notice how quiet Sabrina was. She couldn’t believe that Devon was leaving again so soon. Her heart was heavy with disappointment. She wondered if this is what life would be like for her if their relationship went further, if one day they were married. Would she spend her days and nights alone?
Slipping into the office just off the kitchen, she sat down at the desk and picked up a piece of paper and started listing the pros and cons of being in a relationship with Devon. On the pro side she wrote: “Handsome, kind, considerate, funny, excellent with Charlie.” On the con side she wrote: “Not a follower of Christ, secretive, evasive, bad past but how bad? Run-ins with the law, but how many and how bad? Is he still in trouble with the law? Why did he stay away from his sister for so long when she loved him so much? Where does he go when he leaves and why does he stay gone so long? Who beat him so badly and why?” Sabrina looked at the list and knew that she had far more reasons to stop this thing before her heart got any more involved than to push forward. But her heart was already involved, more so than she would like to admit.
“So, now what?” She sighed. Once more she turned to her heavenly Father for guidance and advice. “Lord, I feel like I’m constantly coming to you about this, but I just can’t find my peace. I love Devon, but there is so much that troubles me. I question whether I’m just lonely for a man to be in my life or if I truly love and need Devon. I finally feel like my heart is ready to at least start to love another again, and I don’t want to have to learn a heart lesson the hard way. Jesus, please just have Your will be done in this. Show me Your will; let me find my peace.” Sabrina heard her mother announce that dinner was ready so she shoved the paper in a drawer and hurried into the kitchen.
“Oh, Sabrina, there you are!” her mother exclaimed. Catherine was putting ice into glasses and loading them on a tray to carry into the dining room. Sabrina grabbed the large pitcher of sweet tea and followed her into the dining room. Everyone was there pulling out chairs and laughing at Charlie scooting her booster seat closer to the table. She climbed into it by herself and sat there grinning. Sabrina caught Devon’s gaze and he smiled and winked at her, but his eyes had shadows that bothered her.
Finally everything was loaded onto the long table and it looked beautiful. The ham was sitting in the middle glazed with brown sugar and pineapple; there was a large bowl of fluffy mashed potatoes with rich brown gravy sitting alongside it. Keelie had brought her wonderful sweet bread and candied yams, which was Sabrina’s favorite. Her mother had prepared her jalapeno corn casserole and a large green salad. Cleo had made something Sabrina had never heard of, a crawfish stuffing with red peppers. Sabrina’s contribution was sitting on the dessert table; she and Charlie had been baking all week.
They all took their places at the table and Sabrina looked around at her family. Her mother and Evan were to her left and then there were Keelie, Carl, Edgar, Cleo, and Charlie; Devon was seated to her right. She was so thankful for each person at her table that she felt her eyes tear up. Evan stood up and said grace. “Lord, we are truly blessed in every way; we have Your love and salvation. We have our wonderful family and friends. Lord, we have all of our needs met by You. Let us not ever forget or take that for granted. Lord, thank You for this meal and this time of love and fellowship with our family and for all Your many blessings.”
The meal progressed with a lot of laughter, eating, and catching up. “So, are you still going forward with your plan to open the bakery now with the baby on the way?” Everyone turned to Carl and Keelie to hear their response to Evan’s question.
“Yes, we have actually made an offer on a property that would be ideal for what we want. Keelie plans on working on the renovations as long as she is comfortable to do so.”
Cleo raised her hand. “I’m sorry but what kind of bakery would this be?”
Sabrina laughed. “Cleo, I’m sorry. I forget that you haven’t been with us forever. Keelie makes the best sweet breads and rolls; here try one.” Sabrina handed Cleo the basket of warm rolls then watched as she took a bite of the soft flakey crust and closed her eyes in rapture!
“Oh, Miss Keelie, that’s the best thing I have ever put in my mouth!” She chewed some more thoughtfully. “Is that honey that I taste?”
Keelie smiled, “No, that’s a spice called sweet meal that comes from the cactus flower that I grow. It is very similar in taste.”
Cleo reached for another roll. “Well, whatever this is, it is wonderful, and I have no doubt that you will do very well. Do you use this spice in any other recipes?”
Keelie nodded. “Oh, yes, I have several different breads and rolls that I use this spice in, and I am working on new ones all the time.”
Catherine buttered her roll. “I bet you could sell just the spice as well as the baked goods out of your bakery.”
Carl looked at Keelie. “Have you thought about that? Selling the sweet meal as well?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Honestly, I haven’t but it’s a very good idea!” The rest of the meal they all discussed plans for Keelie’s new bakery and everyone had suggestions or questions, everyone but Devon who was strangely quiet.
After the dinner everyone gathered in the den to exchange gifts. Of course, Charlie was the main attraction. This year she was old enough to know that not all the presents were for her and she tried to sit still and wait, but it was terribly hard for a little girl that was just three years old.
Gideon remembered last Christmas when Charlie could still see him; after everyone was in bed they had played with her toys until she had fallen asleep exhausted. He missed the interaction with her more than he had anticipated. Of course, there hadn’t been one thing about this assignment that had turned out like he had thought it would. He had expected to have some affection for Charlie, of course, but the amount that he loved that little girl was beyond anything he had ever felt before. He knew that God considered all of mankind His children. The love that He felt for them, including the ones that would never accept Him, had to truly be mind-blowing. Gideon thought that maybe he understood that kind of love now, at least a little bit.
Sabrina found Devon later that night out on the back deck. “Hey, it’s freezing out here. What are you doing?”
When Devon turned to look at her, Sabrina knew that something was very wrong. “Sabrina, I need to tell you something, and it’s not easy for me, okay?” Wrapping her arms around herself she just nodded, feeling sick inside. “Baby, I’m no good for you. Not even a little bit. I was foolish to think that somehow we could make this work, that we could overcome my past. I was wrong, and I’m sorry I let it get this far.”
Sabrina looked at him with narrowed eyes. “So just like that you get to decide what’s good for me? You get to decide that this shouldn’t happen? Do I even get a say in my life?” Devon opened his mouth but Sabrina cut him off. “I know there are things in your past; I know that there are things that you have not told me and probably won’t ever tell me. But at least I’m willing to risk myself and give it a chance! Let’s face it, Devon, I’m the one who is at risk for a broken heart. Shouldn’t it be MY choice?”
He searched her face and saw the conviction that she felt, but he wouldn’t be swayed on this. She just didn’t understand the full magnitude of the mountain of problems she would face with him, and he cared too much for her to drag her any further into it.
Sabrina could feel her heart trying to pound i
ts way out of her chest, and she knew when she saw the determined look in his eyes that nothing she could say would stop this; he was leaving. She walked over to the railing and placed her hands on the cold iron bars, clenching them tightly to keep herself from begging him to stay. She prayed a desperate prayer for courage and strength as she gazed out at the swan pond. It looked as cold and barren as her heart felt right now. Devon closed the distance between them and reached around; taking her hand into his, he opened her fist and placed something in her hand, curling her fingers closed over it. Sabrina looked up at him through wet lashes.
“Darlin’, never doubt how I feel about you; you are truly special and you deserve better than me. I can’t ever be the man that is worthy of your love. I know that now.” He lifted the hand that held the treasure and kissed her knuckles. “Everything that means anything to me I’m leaving here with you, sweet Sabrina. Please tell Charlie girl that I love her and to be good.”
With that he kissed her forehead and turned and walked off the deck. In a few seconds Sabrina heard the rumble of his Harley and listened as the sound faded out of her life.
Chapter 14
Sabrina walked back in the house and up to her room before she opened her hand. Inside was a pearl broach. It was sterling silver with swirling filigree surrounding a small cluster of beautiful off-white pearls. This had to be the broach that had belonged to his grandmother. When and where did he find it? How long had he had it? Why was he leaving it with her? She sank down onto her bed, shaking her head as her tears fell silently. As was typical with Devon Lane, he left her with far more questions than answers.
Gideon would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy that Devon was gone, hopefully for good this time, but the tears tracing down Sabrina’s face made him want to go drag the man back and make him stay and make sure that he made Sabrina happy for the rest of her life. He paced her bedroom as he watched her cry into her pillow; her shuddering sobs tore at his heart. He felt himself grow angry at God. Really, hadn’t she suffered enough? Why allow someone like Devon to come in and savage her barely-healed heart? When he saw her curl up into the fetal position with her pillow crushed in her arms, he threw an angry glance toward the heavens then walked over and curled up behind her, holding her in his arms until she had cried herself to sleep.
