The High Queen was becoming frantic, but hiding it, “Ann'wn."
"My Queen?"
"Find her."
Ann'wn looked at her queen, “I guarantee it, my Queen. Trust me."
Ann'wn had a good idea of where to find her, overhearing some of the conversation between her and The High Queen. She went into The High Queen's Gardens with one guard in tow, following the path she knew they had taken prior. She didn't think that Sle'nel’ had necessarily remembered it, but thought that she might have followed her instincts. After many moments of taking the path toward the lake, Ann'wn saw her sitting upon the bench. She turned to her guard, whispering, “Go inform The High Queen, and quickly so, that I have found her and that she is safe. I will bring her back when she is ready."
She watched her for a few moments, seeing only that Sle'nel’ gazed upon the lake. She went to the lakeside so that Sle'nel’ knew she was there. She crouched down at the water's edge, looking out to the beautiful view of the great mountains in the distance and the beautiful lake scene. She watched the birds upon the lake for some moments, just resting.
After a while, yet looking at the lake, she spoke to Sle'nel', “We were worried about you."
Sle'nel’ just looked at her, not wishing to speak to this strange woman.
"I am surprised that you were able to walk this far alone. Do your injuries not hurt? The distance is quite far. How did you know to come here?"
Again, Sle'nel’ just looked upon her, studying her.
"I thought that Elves liked to speak."
"How would I know?"
Ann'wn heard something in her voice that made her wonder. She looked at her, seeing that she had been crying, “What is wrong, Elf? Do you cry because you are in pain?"
She shook her head.
"I am considered an excellent listener, and as one who never tells a secret."
"I know you not."
Yet crouching, she turned slightly toward Sle'nel', “Ah, but you do. And well. Just a few turns prior I walked in upon you and The High Queen. I found myself in a most awkward position, and you laughed."
Sle'nel’ smiled shyly, “The High Queen gave me this image. It showed me that we are happy together, yet a memory comes to mind that tells me otherwise."
"Of you and The High Queen? You two are the happiest together I have ever seen."
She shook her head, “She betrayed me."
"WHAT? What memory is this? She has not! Tell me of this memory."
"I overhead my lover with another, in bed together."
"Tell me more of this memory."
"I left her. She now uses my loss of memory to gain me back."
"You left her? Never. You love her more than life."
"While I was with child."
It finally dawned upon Ann'wn, “Ah, now I know of what you speak of. This thing did happen to you, but it wasn't The High Queen. You were companions with another, and this indeed did occur. It occurred around the same moment in the forest, of what you spoke of with The High Queen. Would you like to hear of this story?"
"Be it the truth?"
The High Queen had received Ann'wn's message and had insisted on going to Sle'nel'. As she walked up to the forest just behind the seat in which Sle'nel’ sat, she waited, listening to the conversation that she didn't wish to interrupt.
"While I would lie, I lie only for The High Queen. But I need not in this case."
"Then it is enough. I have sensed this love in The High Queen, but my memories are becoming all intermingled. I can make little sense of them."
"Let me tell you of the story so that you may straighten out your mind."
Sle'nel’ nodded, and Ann'wn told her of what she knew of the story.
When Ann'wn finished, Sle'nel’ shook her head, “Why would this Woden Highest do this to me? Was I a bad companion?"
Ann'wn laughed, “No, not at all, at least from what I have seen of the way in which you treasure our most beloved Queen. The Highest betrayed you, most truly, but The High Queen tells me to have patience with her. She says that The Highest now grows into her role, and that she has been overly protected. I trust The High Queen's opinion, and hope she is correct on this."
"I was the companion of a highest, and now of a High Queen? Surely this is not truth. There in truth must be something wrong with me."
Ann'wn laughed loudly, “I think not, Elf. Judging from what I have seen myself, I would say that many would line up for you. In the ranks, the guards place bets on how many moments you and The High Queen have, well, uh, well ... you know."
Sle'nel’ ignored the statement, but The High Queen caught herself almost laughing, never having heard of such a thing. She turned and went back a ways, choosing to come up on them more noisily.
"Why would The High Queen love me?"
"All the Valley loves you. You are an Elfin Faerie. But The High Queen fell in love with you that moment in the forest, long prior to knowing you a Faerie Princess. I think you also fell in love with her at that moment. Meera tells me that your Highest never did say she loved you. She tells me that she thought the companionship was fine, but finally could see that it was only one way.
"The High Queen betrayed me not, then?
"Correct."
"The Highest betrayed me."
The High Queen came up at that moment, “You remember this, My Love?"
Sle'nel’ turned, looking upon The High Queen. She didn't answer. Ann'wn knelt, bowing her head, “My Queen."
"As you were, Ann'wn. I see you have found her. My Love, I am glad you are found. Do you now recall the gardens?"
"No. But somehow I knew to come here. They are most beautiful."
The High Queen looked upon her, “You look sad, My Desire. Are you feeling pain?"
"No. I think my sadness over. I was unaware I had a former lover and that she had betrayed me. I saw a memory of it, but thought it was you."
The High Queen laughed lightly, “Then you might consider speaking of these things, My Love, as you might confuse Me of wrong doing when I have not. What made you come here?"
"I knew not where else to go. Do I even have a home? I feel confused. My body tells me to love you, but my mind tells me you betrayed me. I recognize your smell and your voice, but cannot place your face. I know not what to trust in myself, and it feels so lonely. I am afraid of my thoughts."
"Did Ann'wn help?"
Sle'nel’ whispered, “She is humorous, and perhaps overly loyal to you. But she told me her version of the story between this Highest and me. Who is this Highest?"
"My sister."
Sle'nel’ groaned, “Oh, good. I was companion of a Highest, and now am the lover of her sister, a Queen. How twisted is this?"
The High Queen smiled, amused, “Described in this fashion, it does make one wonder.” She laughed, “Have you thought that your perspectives also be distorted?"
A memory returned to Sle'nel'. She mouthed the word, “Perspective."
The High Queen watched, intrigued, “What do you sense, My Love?"
"Perspective. You told me to look upon the stars, and then to think of an anthill. We were outside. Sleeping outside. We slept side by side."
"On our way to the Sorcerer Women of the Mountain."
A bird suddenly cried for its mate in the distance. Sle'nel’ turned her head to it, listening. In a moment, the mate returned the call. She searched her mind, “You and I have been here, prior."
"Yes. A little after you found out that The Highest betrayed you."
"You rescued me again."
"As you also said then."
Sle'nel’ shook her head, “I certainly hope my perspective is mixed up, as this story is a most twisted one. By the way, what did I call you, prior? I cannot recall."
The High Queen smiled, “You called Me by My titles. I asked you why and you said you hadn't yet landed upon the name you wished to call Me."
"You mean, my Queen and Highness?"
The High Queen shrugged, “It is so.
It is most disconcerting, but it is up to you, only."
"Most twisted, indeed. Are you certain that you wish to love me? It would seem the most logical of moments to back out of this union. Why would your lover, one who is seemingly intimate with you, call you Queen? Am I as stupid as this?"
The High Queen laughed, “You do place a different slant on this reality, My Love. Perhaps it sounds most different than the moment itself. Perhaps you remove the background from the event."
The High Queen sat down, feeling tired as well as the pain from her injuries. Sle'nel’ looked down upon her, wishing for her memories to be returned. She bent down in front of her with great effort, “I came here because I remembered how much I loved you, but this memory became intertwined with my memory of this Highest's betrayal of me. I knew not where to turn and I was most frustrated. I am most sorry for causing you this worry."
The High Queen raised her hand to Sle'nel's cheek, Feel My love.
Sle'nel’ rose, finding another memory, “Who are the Sorrows?"
"They are part of your role in The Realm. They called to you and you became their keeper."
"You saved me from falling into them. I remember you calling to me. But that is all I see. My memories come only in pieces."
The High Queen nodded, growing weaker and more pained. She responded softly, with pain well displayed in her voice, “Have patience, My Love. They will return as they are ready."
She was turning pale from her pain, and Sle'nel’ saw this, “We should return to our room. My pain returns."
The High Queen searched Sle'nel's mind, sensing that she said this only to help The High Queen, “Mine, as well. I could use the rest, but it is a long way back."
Upon their return, The Healer checked all of their wounds, then sent Ann'wn to her own room, helped The High Queen into her bed, and Sle'nel’ into the other one. The High Queen lay in her own bed wishing she could be with Sle'nel', but would give Sle'nel’ the space she needed. It was now late eve and The High Queen wanted to return to the pattern of a normal turn, hoping to sleep through the eve.
She slept fitfully, as was her normal. Unknown to all except her Healer, The High Queen often experienced visions of the terrible events that occurred throughout The Realm. This eve, she dreamt of the battle they had just barely won. Her mind relived the event in painful detail. She saw each move she had made, seeing what she should have done instead. She had known since the battle that her skills were good, but not as they should be. Had they been better, Sle'nel’ and the others may had gone unharmed.
Twice, someone shook her slightly awake, “Shhhh.” She hadn't heard them, but torn from her torments, her sleep improved. She awoke in the early morn, unmoving, wishing to hold the pain off for a few more moments. She lay listening to the sounds of the morn outside her door, hearing very little. She heard someone breathing near her, thinking it to be her Healer or one of her attendants. She opened her eyes, yet somewhat sleepy.
Sle'nel’ watched as The High Queen re-entered The Realm from her eve's sleep. As The High Queen opened her eyes, she saw Sle'nel’ lying next to her in their bed, looking at her. It startled her, remembering that Sle'nel’ hadn't yet regained her memories, and remembering that she had left Sle'nel’ sleeping in the other room. San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ just looked upon her, taking pleasure in having Sle'nel’ this close once again. Sle'nel’ put her hand on San'lr'in'thel'ineln's cheek, relishing in knowing the touch of this one's face. While she had few memories, she did remember some moments with her Queen.
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ watched Sle'nel's shaking hand. She didn't know if Sle'nel’ was shaking from nervousness at being this close to her, or if it were from the pain of her wounds. She entered Sle'nel's mind for a brief moment, sensing her to be nervous as well as to be in some pain.
"Why do you shake so, My Desire?"
Sle'nel’ listened to her voice, remembering it. She wished she could remember their life together, “It is frightening to be without memories. I know not who to trust."
"And yet you come to My bed."
"I recall our battle against the Dungaras. My mind sees us fight together and your last words to me. You told me to remember you. I feel safe with you. I remember your touch and the sound of your voice."
Softly, San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ said to her, “Close your eyes, My Elf."
Sle'nel’ did so. San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ touched her hand to Sle'nel's face, then awkwardly, because of her injuries, moved her hand down Sle'nel's good arm, feeling her shiver. She moved closer to her, with much pain, giving her as passionate a kiss as could be expected with her injuries. Sle'nel’ placed her hand softly upon The High Queen's breast, resting it only on top of her garments.
Sle'nel’ moaned softly, “I remember this feeling with you, but cannot recall our life."
"It will come, My Desire."
Hearing a sound in her room, The High Queen sat up, stiffly and sorely. She turned toward her healer who she had heard come in, “What is it, Healer? Must I be allowed no privacy?"
"I am sorry, High One, but I must check yours and Sle'nel's wounds again. And then you must eat. You are scheduled to meet with your counselors this late morn, so you must become prepared. Your attendants send me in to check upon you as they are overly frightened of you and your temper."
"As you also should be, Healer."
The Healer laughed, “Whatever you desire, High One. Can you rise by yourself, oh Mean One?"
The Healer examined, and then changed The High Queen's bandages.
"I need My arm free of these wrappings."
"Your arm is not yet healed, High One. You could reopen the wound if you move it overly."
"Unwrap it. I cannot face the Counselors looking as if I were yet dying. I must look recovered."
The Healer did as needed, allowing The High Queen's arm to be unbound, but took great pains to wrap it enough to support its great wound. The attendants were then called in to help prepare The High Queen for the meeting. It was a difficult task due to her wounds, but was eventually completed, yet with much pain.
The Healer then helped Sle'nel’ rise, and examined her wounds. As the bandages were removed, The High Queen inspected them, “You didn't report to Me that her wound is infected."
"Considering the deepness of the wound, it is only minor and well under control, Highness. She is most improved and can begin moving about, but she needs to eat and drink far more than she presently does, High One."
"Then bring in some food and drink and we will eat together before I must leave. How is the swelling in her head?"
"Most improved, Highness. The swelling has almost completed its process."
The High Queen was feeling better from her attendants’ tendings. She had been lightly cleaned and her hair washed and brushed. Now in her Queen's garments, she was beginning to feel almost fully returned to The Realm. Dressing into her garments had been a challenge and most painful, but now that it was complete, she felt ready to begin what she could of a normal turn.
She turned to her attendants, “Return after I leave and tend to Sle'nel'. It will make her to feel improved to be prepared for the turn. After the meeting, I will return for her. We will take our late-after-midturn meal in the small dining hall. Please have My sister, Meera and her companion in attendance, along with Mil'der'in and Ann'wn, if they can. Have a sweet prepared for our Elf."
As they ate, The High Queen watched Sle'nel’ again, wondering at how such a loss of memory would feel like, “Do you recall much of the battle, My Love?"
"There were some others with us. The Caitha woman was one, and Ann'wn was another. I know not who the others were, but I can recall four more. I recall not who we fought against."
The High Queen wondered if Sle'nel’ would recall anything of Meera or her former lover upon seeing them at midturn. She watched Sle'nel’ eat, curious if her mind yet desired the same types of foods. She noticed that she did, seeing that Sle'nel’ preferred the small vegetable and pasta type dishes to a
ny of the meat.
"You gave me an image of Ann'wn walking in upon us. It wasn't this room."
"It was at the Sacred Isle. We were visiting with our Spirit Mothers of the Valley. While there, we learned that you had been raised among them for a while. Your Birth-Mother was yet there and you met with her for a brief moment before she died. She gave you her memories, as well as your Elfin-Mother's memories and Elfin powers."
She sent an image of her Birth-Mother's funeral to her. Sle'nel’ narrowed her eyes, focusing upon the image. It looked like a sad moment to her, but was nothing she could recall.
"Are we companions?"
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ wondered about this term, then remembered, laughing lightly, “No, My Love. We have no such thing in the Valley. Woden, the town in which you used to live, had as such. Your Highest was your companion for a short while. We have no such custom as this. But we are lovers. It is somewhat the same."
Sle'nel’ nodded, not understanding, but accepting it as truth. She felt frustrated, “I feel trapped inside my own head. I know not what to do. I know not where to go, and I know not how to act. How am I supposed to act with you?"
"We are lovers. Although I am Queen, between us it means nothing. We are equals in our union.” She saw that Sle'nel’ had eaten a great deal, surprised, “Are you feeling improved, My Love?"
Sle'nel’ was yet eating, feeling starved. She looked at San'lr'in'thel'ineln', and in all seriousness said, “I remember that while in the Valley, there seems to be never enough to eat. Are the food reserves low?"
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ laughed, clutching her hand to her side at the pain, finding the remark very humorous, “Eat all you desire, My Love. We have much food. We just never seem to have the moments."
Nodding at the statement, Sle'nel’ continued to eat, “You go to a meeting. What be this meeting about?"
She sighed, “My counselors wish to reprimand Me for risking Myself."
"Are others allowed to attend this meeting?"
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ raised an eyebrow, uncertain if Sle'nel’ was strong enough. She also wondered if Sle'nel’ would be able to understand the purpose of the meeting, “Would you like to attend?"
The Realm's Mystics [Mystic Women of The Realm Series Book 3] Page 19
