by Shaun Usher
Dear Reader,
The book you are holding came about in a rather different way to most others. It was funded directly by readers through a new website: Unbound.
Unbound is the creation of three writers. We started the company because we believed there had to be a better deal for both writers and readers. On the Unbound website, authors share the ideas for the books they want to write directly with readers. If enough of you support the book by pledging for it in advance, we produce a beautifully bound special subscribers’ edition and distribute a regular edition and e-book wherever books are sold, in shops and online.
This new way of publishing is actually a very old idea (Samuel Johnson funded his dictionary this way). We’re just using the internet to build each writer a network of patrons. Here, at the back of this book, you’ll find the names of all the people who made it happen.
Publishing in this way means readers are no longer just passive consumers of the books they buy, and authors are free to write the books they really want. They get a much fairer return too – half the profits their books generate, rather than a tiny percentage of the cover price.
If you’re not yet a subscriber, we hope that you’ll want to join our publishing revolution and have your name listed in one of our books in the future. To get you started, here is a £5 discount on your first pledge. Just visit unbound.com, make your pledge and type LETTERS2 in the promo code box when you check out.
Thank you for your support,
Dan, Justin and John
Founders, Unbound
For Karina
Contents
Introduction
001 – TORTURING THE SAXOPHONE
ROBERT CRUMB TO MATS GUSTAFSSON
002 – FOR LOVE AND HONOR
HOLLIS FRAMPTON TO MOMA
003 – DEAR ONE
RACHEL CARSON TO DOROTHY FREEMAN
004 – I’LL RAP YOUR HEAD WITH A RATCHET
STEVE ALBINI TO NIRVANA
005 – SORROW COMES TO ALL
ABRAHAM LINCOLN TO FANNY MCCULLOUGH
006 – I SEE NO BEAUTY IN LOPSIDED TRUE LOVE
ELIZABETH SMART TO GEORGE BARKER
007 – MY EARTHLY MISSION IS ALREADY FULFILLED
VIVIAN ROSEWARNE TO HIS MOTHER
008 – KING SEQUOIA
JOHN MUIR TO JEANNE CARR
009 – HUSBAND UNTIL DEATH
ABREAM SCRIVEN TO HIS WIFE
010 – BREAK BREAK BREAK
SYLVIA PLATH TO HER FAMILY
011 – 1984 VS. A BRAVE NEW WORLD
ALDOUS HUXLEY TO GEORGE ORWELL
012 – MY HEART ALMOST STOOD STILL
HELEN KELLER TO THE NEW YORK SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA
013 – GO TO HELL WITH YOUR MONEY BASTARD
ASGER JORN TO THE GUGGENHEIM
014 – THE PARAKEET HAS A GOITER
BRIAN DOYLE TO VARIOUS
015 – ALONG WITH THIS LETTER COMES A PLAY
SHELAGH DELANEY TO JOAN LITTLEWOOD
016 – EVERYONE IS EXPECTING ME TO DO BIG THINGS
JACK TRICE TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
017 – WITH GREAT RESPECT, MARGE SIMPSON
MARGE SIMPSON TO BARBARA BUSH
018 – SLOWLY, QUIETLY, NEVER GIVING UP
CARL SANDBURG TO MARGARET SANDBURG
019 – SHE WAS THE MUSIC HEARD FAINTLY AT THE EDGE OF SOUND
RAYMOND CHANDLER TO LEONARD RUSSELL
020 – I EMBRACE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART
ALBERT CAMUS TO LOUIS GERMAIN
021 – I HAVE RESOLVED TO ESCAPE
WINSTON CHURCHILL TO LOUIS DE SOUZA
022 – WITH MANY GOOD WISHES FOR OUR HOUSE
LION FEUCHTWANGER TO THE OCCUPANT OF HIS HOUSE
023 – LETTER TO THE DEAD
SHEPSI TO INKHENMET
024 – YOU’RE OFF, BY GOD!
RICHARD BURTON TO ELIZABETH TAYLOR
025 – THE TALE OF PETER RABBIT
BEATRIX POTTER TO NOEL MOORE
026 – YOUR EAGER MOTHER
JESSIE BERNARD TO HER UNBORN CHILD
027 – THE MATCHBOX
SYLVIA TOWNSEND WARNER TO ALYSE GREGORY
028 – ALL THIS I DID WITHOUT YOU
GERALD DURRELL TO LEE MCGEORGE
029 – NOTHING TO EAT BUT THE DEAD
VIRGINIA REED TO MARY KEYES
030 – TIGER OIL MEMOS
EDWARD “TIGER MIKE” DAVIS TO HIS STAFF
031 – I LONG FOR FREEDOM
HANNAH GROVER TO CATO
032 – JANIS JOPLIN LIVES!
JANIS JOPLIN TO HER PARENTS
033 – BECOMING TOM CLANCY
TOM CLANCY TO HIS FRIENDS
034 – THE JL123 ISHO
FLIGHT 123 PASSENGERS TO VARIOUS
035 – DARE TO STAND ALONE
BUD WILKINSON TO JAY WILKINSON
036 – ARKELL V. PRESSDRAM
PRIVATE EYE TO GOODMAN DERRICK & CO.
037 – THE OUTSIDERS
JO ELLEN MISAKIAN TO FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA
038 – I CAN’T LOOK YOU IN THE VOICE
DOROTHY PARKER TO PASCAL COVICI
039 – DO NOT BE SO BLOODY VULNERABLE
NOËL COWARD TO MARLENE DIETRICH
040 – FROM HEAVEN
PAUL REVERE OSLER TO GRACE OSLER
041 – CAT FANCY
AYN RAND TO CAT FANCY MAGAZINE
042 – NEW FANGLED WRITING MACHINE
SAMUEL CLEMENS TO ORION CLEMENS
043 – AMERICA’S YOUNGEST AMBASSADOR
SAMANTHA SMITH TO YURI ANDROPOV
044 – SLEEP WELL MY LOVE
BRIAN KEITH TO DAVE
045 – THIS IS MY LAST VISIT
WILLIAM BURROUGHS TO TRUMAN CAPOTE
046 – BROWN IS AS PRETTY AS WHITE
W. E. B. DU BOIS TO YOLANDE DU BOIS
047 – EVERY OUNCE OF MY ENERGY
BERTRAND RUSSELL TO SIR OSWALD MOSLEY
048 – THIS WRETCHED COMEDY AS A MAN!
LILI ELVENES TO “CHRISTIAN”
049 – THERE ARE TWO WAYS IN WHICH THIS CAN BE DONE
BERTHA BREWSTER TO DAILY TELEGRAPH
050 – YOURS SINCERELY, ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
J. K. ROWLING TO STEVEN ARMES
051 – I’VE GOT A HUNCH
THOMAS WOLFE TO MAXWELL PERKINS
052 – WE ARE UNINTELLIGIBLE
JACK LONDON TO ANNA STRUNSKY
053 – GENTLEMEN, I JUST DON’T BELONG HERE
URSULA LE GUIN TO JOHN RADZIEWICZ
054 – I MISS LORINA BULWER
LORINA BULWER
055 – MY REAL NAME IS DAVID JONES
DAVID BOWIE TO SANDRA DODD
056 – A NEW PAGE IN MOTION PICTURE HISTORY
SAMUEL GOLDWYN TO WALT DISNEY
057 – I LOVED THE BOY
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH TO ROBERT SOUTHEY
058 – A PILE OF 5000 CATS AND KITTENS
FREDERICK LAW OLMSTED to HIS SON
059 – IT MUST BE NICE TO BE A BABY
DAISY WHITE TO JOEL WHITE
060 – I HAVE LOST A TREASURE
CASSANDRA AUSTEN TO FANNY KNIGHT
061 – A RIPPLE OF FLAME
EDITH WHARTON TO W. M. FULLERTON
062 – FINAL, COMPLETE AND IRREMEDIABLE DEFEAT
HUGH DOWDING TO WINSTON CHURCHILL
063 – A FORCE FOR EVIL
RICHARD HELMS TO DENNIS HELMS
064 – YOU ARE A BEAST
MICHELANGELO DI LODOVICO BUONARROTI SIMONI TO GIOVAN SIMONE BUONARROTI SIMONI
065 – IT’S BURNING HELL WITHOUT YOU
DYLAN THOMAS TO CAITLIN THOMAS
066 – I DRANK TOO MUCH WINE LAST NIGHT
JANE AUSTEN TO CASSANDRA AUSTEN
067 – LET US BLAZE NEW TRAILS
BILL BERNBACH TO HIS COLLEAGUES
068 – YOUR TYPE IS A DIME A DOZEN
HUNTER S. THOMPSON TO ANTHONY BURGESS
069 – WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD
JOHN LENNON TO ERIC CLAPTON
070 – YOU ARE A TRUE MAN
BRAM STOKER TO WALT WHITMAN
071 – WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?
NANNI TO EA-NASIR
072 – REMEMBER?
BREECE D’J PANCAKE TO JOHN CASEY
073 – I HOPE YOU DON’T FEEL TOO DISAPPOINTED
ERIC IDLE TO JOHN MAJOR
074 – AN INSTRUMENT OF JOY
MARGARET MEAD TO ELIZABETH MEAD
075 – WE PRESS YOU CLOSE AND KISS YOU WITH ALL OUR STRENGTH
ETHEL AND JULIUS ROSENBERG TO THEIR SONS
076 – HOW DID YOU GET INVENTED?
ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY TO LULU
077 – WHY I AM AN ATHEIST
MINNIE PARRISH TO BLUE-GRASS BLADE
078 – YOURS IN DISTRESS
ALAN TURING TO NORMAN ROUTLEDGE
079 – OH MY ASS BURNS LIKE FIRE!
MOZART TO MARIANNE
080 – TERRY TOMA
DAWN POWELL TO MABEL POWELL POCOCK AND PHYLLIS POWELL COOK
081 – DO NOT REMAIN NAMELESS TO YOURSELF
RICHARD FEYNMAN TO KOICHI MANO
082 – I SEE HIM IN THE STAR
EMILY DICKINSON TO SUSAN DICKINSON
083 – I AM DESPERATE TO HAVE SOME REAL FUN
PETER SELLERS TO SPIKE MILLIGAN
084 – THE WHITE HOUSE
ABIGAIL ADAMS TO HER DAUGHTER
085 – YOUR ORGANIZATION HAS FAILED
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT TO DAR
086 – ON BUREAUCRATESE AND GOBBLEDYGOOK
ALFRED KAHN TO HIS COLLEAGUES
087 – I THINK I NO HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE OR ANIMALS ALIVE
ANTHONY HOLLANDER TO BLUE PETER
088 – YOU RANG MY MOTHER
MICHAEL J. MOLLOY TO JEFFREY BERNARD
089 – PEOPLE SIMPLY EMPTY OUT
CHARLES BUKOWSKI TO JOHN MARTIN
090 – A STRING OF VERITABLE PSYCHOLOGICAL PEACHES
CARL JUNG TO JAMES JOYCE
091 – THE APPALLING HORROR
FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE TO WILLIAM BOWMAN
092 – YOU ARE A HOMOSEXUAL AND MAY NEVER CHANGE
FELICIA BERNSTEIN TO LEONARD BERNSTEIN
093 – I NEVER STUDIED GRACE
CHARLES LAMB TO JACOB VALE ASBURY
094 – I DO NOT LIKE SCOLDING PEOPLE
KATHERINE MANSFIELD TO ELIZABETH BIBESCO
095 – MAKE YOUR SOUL GROW
KURT VONNEGUT TO XAVIER HIGH SCHOOL
096 – THERE ARE NO REAL REWARDS FOR TIME PASSING
MARTHA GELLHORN TO ERNEST HEMINGWAY
097 – I AM THE DEAD ONE
SPIKE MILLIGAN TO GEORGE HARRISON
098 – LIKE A TREE IN FULL BEARING
CHARLOTTE BRONTË TO W. S. WILLIAMS
099 – YOU GAVE ME A VALUABLE GIFT: YOU TOOK ME SERIOUSLY
HOWARD CRUSE TO DR. SEUSS (AND VICE VERSA)
100 – THE MISERABLE’S NAME IS MAN
VICTOR HUGO to M. DAELLI
101 – WE WERE NOT FOUND WANTING
CHARLES JACK PRICE TO HIS STAFF
102 – SHEER ENCHANTMENT
SOPHIE SCHOLL TO LISA REMPPIS
103 – I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT
BARNUM BROWN TO PROFESSOR OSBORN
104 – ENERGY EQUALS MASS TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT SQUARED STOP
BUCKMINSTER FULLER TO ISAMU NOGUCHI
105 – I THINK YOU’RE A DAMN FOOL
NORMAN MAILER TO HIS FATHER
106 – THE GREATEST MUSICAL PLEASURE I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED
CHARLES BAUDELAIRE TO RICHARD WAGNER
107 – I KNOW WHAT TASTE IS AND WHAT VULGARITY IS
TENNESSEE WILLIAMS TO JOSEPH BREEN
108 – I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU YOUR OWN HISTORY
JUAN GELMAN TO HIS GRANDCHILD
109 – THIS IS QUITE TRUE
EVELYN WAUGH TO LAURA WAUGH
110 – I SHALL EXPECT YOU, SISTER
CLAUDIA SEVERA TO SULPICIA LEPIDINA
111 – LET ME ALONE
KATHERINE ANNE PORTER TO HART CRANE
112 – F**K THA POLICE
THE FBI TO PRIORITY RECORDS
113 – I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TALKED ABOUT
ANSEL ADAMS TO NANCY NEWHALL
114 – GROW UP AS GOOD REVOLUTIONARIES
CHE GUEVARA TO HIS CHILDREN
115 – WE HOPE YOU SHALL TRY…
JESSICA MITFORD TO HERSELF
116 – I DON’T ENJOY THIS WAR ONE BIT
DAVID FOSTER WALLACE TO DON DELILLO
117 – I SHALL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU
MILADA HORÁKOVÁ to HER DAUGHTER
118 – P.S. THIS IS MY FAVORITE MEMO EVER
MATT STONE TO THE MPAA
119 – DEAR FRIENDS ALL
HENRY JAMES to 270 FRIENDS
120 – MY MOTHER DECLARED MY BEDROOM A DISASTER AREA
ANDY SMITH TO RONALD REAGAN
121 – THANKS, MR. EDISON
W. C. LATHROP TO THOMAS EDISON
122 – THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY SCENE
CAPTAIN REGINALD JOHN ARMES TO HIS WIFE
Acknowledgements
Subscribers
Permission credits
Friday
Dear Reader,
It’s two years since my last letter to you, two long years since I was introducing the first volume of Letters of Note to the world, unbearably excited and overwhelmingly proud to finally be waving off the physical incarnation of a mammoth four year project that began as a website. More than anything, though, I was nervous, for here was I, in the fast-moving digital age of ebook readers and emails, trying to captivate the plugged-in population with a hardcover book on the subject of old-fashioned correspondence. Letters of Note already had a dedicated following from its early days online, but what of the wider public—surely that was a reach too far? As delighted as I was to be holding such a beautiful book, I feared I was about to swim against a pixelated tide.
Thankfully, I could not have been more wrong, and to say the past two years have been a whirlwind would be a huge understatement. Indeed it is a testament to the enduring, universal appeal of letters and the stories they tell that the first book is now being enjoyed in all corners of the world, in many different languages, by people of all ages and backgrounds and persuasions, and thinking about the power of letters, to see such a positive reaction has been indescribably gratifying, and to imagine that even a small fraction of you may have been inspired to write your own letters makes every single second of those years of research worthwhile. And this is all without mentioning Letters Live, a series of events inspired by the book in which a diverse cast of talented performers read these letters of note on stage and breathe life into them in a way I had barely even considered.
Thanks to its many moving parts, producing a book like this is a logistical nightmare that nearly breaks me and my editor into tiny pieces, but one of the most enjoyable tasks is deciding on the letters to be featured. I’m clearly biased, but I can safely say that the second volume of letters, telegrams, and memos is every bit as impressive as the first, if not more so. We have an enthusiastic letter written by a young David Bowie in response to his first piece of fan mail; J.K. Rowling’s reply, in character as Albus Dumbledore, to a Professor of Colloid and Polymer Science who applied to become Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts; from 1930, a missive from Lili Elvenes in which she describes her relief at finally being able to undergo surgery in what was one of the first cases of gender reassignment; a long letter sent by Tom Clancy to his friends just as fame approached, in which he speaks of his rapidly changing life; an embroidered letter of such incredible dimensions that it spans several fold-out pages; the charming illustrated letter that intr
oduced Peter Rabbit to the world, written by Beatrix Potter to a five-year-old boy; a letter from legendary “dinosaur hunter” Barnum Brown, in which he describes having just discovered the Tyrannosaurus rex; Florence Nightingale’s harrowing account of the “appalling horror” of the Crimean War, written in 1854, and many, many more. As with the first book, you are soon to embark upon a rollercoaster ride that soars as high as it does low, travelling back in time as far as 2000 BC to read an ancient Egyptian letter to the dead and coming as close as 2014 to enjoy a wonderfully entertaining letter by Robert Crumb.
There really is no correct way to consume this book. Read it from front to back, from back to front, or simply pick letters at random; whichever one you land on will offer you a snapshot of history in a format that we cannot affort to let die. When you’re finished, pass the book on, pick up a pen, and write some letters of your own.
Yours in letters,
Shaun Usher
Letters of Note
Letter No. 001
TORTURING THE SAXOPHONE
ROBERT CRUMB TO MATS GUSTAFSSON
2014
In 2014, celebrated Swedish free jazz saxophonist Mats Gustafsson sent a copy of his forthcoming album to one of his idols, the legendary comic book artist, record collector and musician Robert Crumb. Gustafsson’s upcoming record was a compilation of his experimental interpretations of some jazz classics by people such as Duke Ellington, Lars Gullin, and the Ayler brothers, and he sought Crumb’s opinion. Crumb, baffled, pulled no punches and responded with this brutally honest letter. In honour of the critique, Gustafsson named his next album Torturing the Saxophone, and proudly reprinted the letter amongst the liner notes.
Cartoonist Robert Crumb, 1985
Gustafsson:
I finally gave a listen to those LPs and the CD you sent me, of your own saxophone playing and some Swedish modern jazz. I gotta tell you, on the cover of the CD of your sax playing, which is black and has no text on it, I wrote in large block letters, in silver ink, “Torturing the Saxophone—Mats Gustafsson.” I just totally fail to find anything enjoyable about this, or to see what this has to do with music as I understand it, or what in God’s name is going on in your head that you want to make such noises on a musical instrument. Quite frankly, I was kind of shocked at what a negative, unpleasant experience it was, listening to it. I had to take it off long before it reached the end. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand what it is about.
You actually go on TOUR with that stuff. WOW. People actually... sit… and... LISTEN… to that. I mean, they voluntarily go to the place, maybe even PAY… PAY to hear that stuff. And then they sit there, quietly, politely… and LISTEN. Unbelievable. I should go myself sometime and see this. Witness it with my own eyes.
