“What are you telling him?” Melissa asked. “Stories, I’m sure. My youngest has always had the most peculiar notions.”
Amanda broke in with a statement about ordering a bedspread. There were so many fabric swatches to choose from. Momentarily distracted, Melissa gave her daughter-in-law her full attention as they discussed the merits of the various offerings.
Randi gave her brother a thumbs-up signal. “He made a great choice,” she murmured to Brady, leading him to a settee as far from her mother as possible. “Amanda handles Mom like a pro. With her around, the situation might be bearable.”
Brady settled next to her on the small sofa. In the soft light her skin was luminous. She wore her hair pulled back from her face and twisted into order at the base of her neck. Protesting the entire time, she’d finally agreed to visit her mother’s house long enough to collect some clothes. He’d stopped at a local store for some supplies of his own. In their run from the bad guys, they’d been forced to leave their luggage behind.
“Why are you staring at me?” she asked. “You hate this, don’t you? You hate being here.” She sighed. “I don’t blame you. Family stuff. I’m sure your parents are a blast, but the Howells are not known for rollicking good times. I’m really sorry this is so boring. We’ll leave soon, okay?”
He touched her cheek, noting how mysterious her eyes appeared. He’d never seen her in makeup. The cosmetics emphasized her strong features, adding to her allure.
“Actually, I was thinking about how great you look.”
“Really?” She shook her head. “You’re just saying that. I know I’m not hideous, but I’m not really—”
He touched a finger to her lips. “Yes, you are really pretty. I’ve always thought so.”
Her gaze locked with his. The moment reduced itself to the two of them, and he wished they were alone together so he could show her how much he loved her.
“Hey, brat,” Noah said, coming up to join them. “I’m glad you’re back.”
“Me, too.” Randi angled toward her brother but didn’t let go of Brady’s hand. “I’m sorry about running off.”
Noah’s gaze narrowed. “Time away seems to have done you some good. You’ve grown up.”
“Finally.”
Noah turned to Brady. “I don’t think any of us have thanked you for taking care of Randi. She’s annoying as hell, but we would have missed her if we’d lost her permanently.”
“My pleasure,” Brady said.
Conversation continued. Brady found himself resisting being drawn into the family’s inner circle. Not because he didn’t enjoy their company, but because he knew he didn’t belong here. While he liked visiting the city, his life was back on the ranch. Money wasn’t the issue—his family’s fortune easily fit into the category of what Melissa Howell would consider acceptable. The problem went deeper than logistics or finance.
He watched Randi laugh at something her brother said. She fit in here, in this room, with these people. He had no right to ask her to leave.
She deserved better than he could offer. She’d been right about him, about the way he picked up strays in his life so he could emotionally hold back. He’d grown up in the bright reflection of his parents’ love and had wanted the same for himself. Instead, he’d found Alicia.
Then Randi had entered his world and shown him light and love he could claim as his own. But it was too late for him. For them. She belonged here—he had nothing to offer her but a life of isolation in a desolate corner of the country.
Doing the right thing was going to hurt like hell, but do it he would. Because that was all he knew. He would love her, and loving her, he would let her go.
Later, when they’d made their excuses and left, Randi leaned against him as he unlocked the truck. “Do you have any thoughts on where you want to stay tonight?”
“Gee, I was sort of hoping we’d stay at your mom’s.”
She slapped his arm. “Don’t even joke about it. At her place, there’s no way we could share a bed. Even if I got up the courage to sneak down the hall to join you, I wouldn’t be able to relax. It would—” She broke off and bit her lower lip. “You didn’t want us to sleep together, did you. That was the whole point. Oh, I should have seen—”
This time she stopped talking because his mouth covered hers. He kissed her deeply, tasting all of her, holding her tight, rubbing his arousal against her belly until she couldn’t doubt what he was thinking.
“A hotel would be nice,” he said, raising his head slightly and raining kisses on her face.
“Hmm, or we could just do it in your truck.”
“Not too comfortable.”
“How would you know?”
“I researched the concept thoroughly in high school.”
“Maybe you need more practice.”
He glanced at her and smiled. “I would prefer a real bed where I can make love to you slowly. I want to take your clothes off one by one, touching and tasting every part of you, bringing you close again and again until you’re powerless and panting.”
Her mouth opened, then closed. She blinked. Finally she said, “Okay, that works. A hotel it is.”
Chapter Sixteen
Randi stood at the bedroom window and stared at the beautiful grounds that, in a few short months, would soon be covered with snow. The irony of her situation would have been amusing if it hadn’t hurt so much. Just three months ago she’d been in the Squaw Creek Lodge ready to be married. Last night she’d stayed in one of the rental condos. Once again being in Squaw Creek Lodge was about to turn her life upside down. Only this time she wasn’t the one leaving. This time she was the one being left.
She sipped coffee from a mug and listened to the silence. He hadn’t said a word…yet. He didn’t have to. She knew him now, understood his moods, his thoughts. She’d seen the world through his eyes. There were disadvantages to loving a noble man.
They’d spent last night as they’d spent the night before. Making love. He’d taken her in his arms and together they’d experienced perfect joy. If he’d been anyone else, she would have assumed that was enough. But he wasn’t anyone else, he was Brady Jones. The kind of man who always did the right thing.
“Why do you leave me?” she asked, her voice soft and shaking slightly.
She heard muffled footsteps on the thick carpet, then felt the pressure of his hands on her shoulders. They both wore the luxurious robes provided by the lodge. Even through the thick, expensive terry cloth, his touch warmed her. Once he was gone she would never be warm again.
“I don’t want to,” he said.
“Then, don’t. Stay with me, or ask me to stay with you.”
There! She’d said it. Put it out on the table, so to speak.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
He tried to turn her toward him, but she resisted. Her eyes burned and she didn’t want him to watch her cry. Not when they might be seeing each other for the last time. She stared out at the view, trying not to notice when the trees blurred and blended with the sloping grounds.
“I was wrong to judge you,” he said. “You made the best of a bad situation and I admire that. You’re a hell of a woman, Randi. Tough, gutsy, beautiful.”
She sniffed. He was lying about the beautiful part, but right now she didn’t care. She set her coffee mug on the window sill. “Then, don’t go.”
Or ask me to come back with you. But she’d already offered a broad hint that she would accompany him if requested. She wasn’t going to beat that point to death. If he wanted her there, he would tell her. Obviously he didn’t.
“You have a life here,” he continued. “Family, friends. Grand Springs is a pretty nice little place.”
“Paradise,” she murmured, blinking away the rest of the tears.
He sighed, then moved closer and rested his chin on her head. “You were right about me. I’ve been holding back part of myself from my friends. I’ve been making it easier for myself becau
se I didn’t want to get burned. Selfishly, I’m glad, because now I can let you go. We both know it’s for the best. I can’t give you what you have here.”
She spun toward him. “Brady, no. Don’t do this. Don’t leave me.” She clutched his hands in hers. “I love you.”
His dark gaze met hers. He smiled faintly. “I love you, too, Randi. I have for a while. Even before I knew anything about you. I think you’re very special. We’ll always have this time we’ve spent together.”
She hadn’t thought it could hurt more, but it did. Hearing that he loved her and that he was still willing to let her go was the worst trick of all. “Just like Bogie and Bergman,” she said. “We’ll always have these few weeks. Great. Forgive me for wanting to have more—a real relationship.” She pulled away and turned back to the window.
She stared unseeingly at the scenery. “Someday you’re going to have to risk it, Brady. You’re going to have to find the courage to put yourself on the line and ask for what you want. You can’t hide behind doing the right thing forever.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” He sounded annoyed. Good. At least anger was an emotional response. Better he hated her than just tolerated her.
“You’re still afraid to risk it all,” she said. “The words are meaningless without the actions to back them up. I love you. I’m willing to leave everything behind to be with you. I’m willing to put my heart and soul out there to see if we can keep the magic alive for the rest of our lives. What are you willing to risk?”
He didn’t answer. She heard movement in the room, but didn’t dare turn around. A few minutes later, he said, “This isn’t how I wanted it to end.”
Her whole body ached. “That’s the difference between us,” she said. “I never wanted it to end at all.”
Pain tightened her throat. She wondered if she was going to die from the hurt, or if she would simply learn to live with the awful emptiness inside. Did it matter? Without him did anything matter?
“Goodbye, Randi,” he said. The front door opened, then closed, and he was gone.
She continued to stand at the window until her legs trembled from fatigue. Then she dressed and collected her few possessions. At the front desk the clerk told her the bill had already been paid. Brady had been a gentleman right up to the last. She thanked the clerk and arranged for a cab to take her to her mother’s. She needed to retreat and lick her wounds for a few days. Eventually she would have to figure out what to do with her life, but not now.
During the cab ride home, she leaned back in the bench seat and closed her eyes. Now what? She had to make something of her life. She would have to figure out how she wanted to spend her days, then get a job and make plans. Whether she liked it or not, there was the future to think of.
But instead of considering travel or moving to another city, all she could see was the ranch. Princess and her cats, Tex, the cowboys. And Brady. Always Brady. What would he say when he got home? What would he tell everyone? Would they forget her right away or would they remember? Would Brady hire another groom, and would that new person erase all traces of a woman named Rita Howard? Would Ty ever try to return to Denise? Would the cats find homes? Would—“You all right, miss?” the cab driver asked.
Randi glanced at him. “I’m fine.”
His obvious discomfort made her realize she was crying. She brushed her fingers against her cheek and was surprised to feel moisture.
Would Brady suffer as she suffered, or would he simply go on with his life?
When the cab dropped her off, Randi stood staring at her mother’s large home. She didn’t want to go inside. There was nothing for her there, nothing but a lifestyle she’d never understood. Should she start out fresh and immediately look for an apartment? Should she—“Noah will know,” she said, and started toward the front door. She would call him and he could tell her what—She paused in midstride and shook her head. No. There would be no phone calls to Noah or anyone else. This was her life and therefore her decision. She was supposed to have grown up. If she wanted advice, fine, but she was through abdicating responsibility. She would give herself a couple of days to get over the worst of the pain, then she would make a plan. Despite losing Brady, she would have to go on. Somehow, she would find—if not happiness—then at least contentment. Eventually.
* * *
Three days later Randi hadn’t come to any decisions. At least none that made sense. She’d considered becoming a nun or maybe going to teach English in a foreign country. Both options required a commitment she wasn’t ready to make.
The only fact of which she was certain was that she still loved Brady. She was going to love him for the rest of her life. Three sleepless nights had convinced her of that fact. She’d also become aware of a faint but persistent voice mumbling some rather unpleasant truths. Brady wasn’t the only one guilty of not trying hard. He’d been noble and had not asked her to leave her life behind. But she’d let him walk away without insisting they deserved more.
Given his past, how Alicia had treated him, it was understandable that he was reluctant to pressure a woman to be with him. So perhaps he’d been waiting for her to demand his attention. Unfortunately, she was also suffering from a case of the “maybe I’m not enough” syndrome and had been more than willing to act as the martyr.
After driving her small two-seater aimlessly around Grand Springs for the better part of the afternoon, she decided to head back toward her mother’s house. If she and Brady were both letting fear ruin something as magnificent as love, then they were obviously too cowardly and stupid to deserve happiness. But if they didn’t love each other, who would?
She smiled at that twisted logic, her first smile since he’d left her. Her mind cleared and she finally figured out what she wanted to do with her life.
She was going to live on Brady’s ranch. If he didn’t want her in his bed, then she would work in his stables. At least she’d been a great groom. She would stick around for as long as it took to convince him she wasn’t running off and she wasn’t pining for life in Grand Springs. Despite being as relationship-impaired as herself, Brady had moments of brilliance. He would figure it out in time. If necessary, she would enlist the cowboys’ aid in her campaign.
As she pulled in the driveway, she spotted an unfamiliar car parked by the back door. Randi stopped behind it and got out. Her mother hadn’t said anything about company.
Not wanting to get involved in yet another discussion about why she’d run off from her own wedding and where she’d been all this time, she snuck in through the kitchen.
An unfamiliar sound stopped her. She paused, one foot on the backstairs and listened. Was that laughter? Was her mother laughing? A low chuckling sound mingled with the higher pitched amusement.
Her mother was entertaining a man?
Unable to resist taking a peek, Randi walked quietly through the kitchen and peered around at the living room. Sure enough, her mother sat on the stark white sofa. Her dark hair was sleek, her dress more appropriate for a fancy night on the town than a regular afternoon. Perfectly manicured hands moved through the air, punctuating her conversation. Then Melissa Howell laughed again.
“Mom?” Randi said, involuntarily.
Her mother glanced up. Instead of scolding her for showing up in jeans and a T-shirt or offering some other criticism, her mother did something Randi had never seen before. She blushed.
“Oh, Randi. You’re back.”
If Randi hadn’t known better, she would have sworn her mother was disappointed.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll just head upstairs.”
“You’re not interrupting. I’ve been entertaining your company while you’ve been gone.”
“My company?”
Her heart began to pound in her chest. She hurried into the living room. But the man rising to his feet wasn’t Brady. It was Tex. The ex-marine, dressed in a work shirt and jeans, looked as out of place in her mother’s perfect living room as Randi had always felt.
She hoped the heavy weight of disappointment sinking in her stomach didn’t show on her face.
“Tex. What are you doing here?”
The older man shrugged. “You left a few things behind. I thought I’d drop them off.” He pointed to a small pile of clothing on the love seat opposite the sofa.
She forced herself to smile. “That’s nice. You didn’t have to come all this way. You could have boxed it up and sent it.”
“Not all of it.”
He glanced at her mother’s lap. There, curled up on a fluffy cushion of formal silk, was a small black kitten.
Randi’s eyes filled. She swore she wasn’t going to cry, but her voice cracked as she said, “P-Peter?”
The kitten stirred, yawned, then mewed sleepily. His eyelids fluttered as he sank back to sleep.
Her mother touched the kitten’s head. “Tex was telling me that Peter didn’t care for the long trip. He looked tired and hungry. I gave him some tuna and water, then he went to sleep. I hope you don’t mind.”
Randi wasn’t sure which part she was supposed to mind. “That’s great. Thanks.” She looked at Tex. “Are you heading back tonight?”
“No.”
Melissa Howell cleared her throat. “Well, I thought it was so kind of your friend to return your belongings and bring this precious kitten. Tex and I have been talking and, well, I’ve invited him to stay for a couple of days. You know, to recover from the trip. It’s the least we can do.”
“Sure,” Randi said, wondering when the aliens had first taken over her mother’s body. “No problem. Are you two doing okay entertaining yourselves or do you want me to hang around?”
“Oh, we’re fine,” her mother said brightly. “We’re going out shortly to get a litter box and supplies for Peter. I thought I might set up a bed somewhere upstairs.”
“Great.” Randi backed out of the room. “I’ll be in my room.”
As she climbed the stairs, she didn’t know whether to laugh or call for the men in white coats. Her mother had actually let a pet into her house. This from the same woman who had often complained about her children simply playing with neighbors’ animals. But the kitten was the least of it.
The Rancher And The Runaway Bride: Part 3 Page 5
