by Gary Starta
“How did it make you feel?”
“That we are not alone.” Lori bowed her head.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”
“No.” Lori raised a hand still staring at her lap. “I needed to talk about this. I don’t have anyone who would have listened.” She smiled but it was awkward. “I don’t know what it was but it changed my thinking. It’s unusual because I don’t spend a lot of time watching the sky. I tend to keep my nose in books.”
“Oh. What do you read?”
“I don’t read. I devour stories and poems mostly from the nineteenth century literature; but nothing otherworldly.”
“Anything transcendental?”
“No. Not Waldo Emerson. I like stories that show the dark for what it is.”
“Can you tell me about your sighting? Why did it change your thinking?”
“Because there’s a ton of unexplained phenomena out there, that’s why. I can understand why Timothy feels the way he does, sort of.”
“But you don’t feel the same way about the sun as he does?”
“I wasn’t seeing Jesus if that’s what you mean. I felt its warmth and its power. Maybe in time, I would feel what Timothy does too.”
“Would?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I have a lot of time to do it.”
“Why is that?”
“We’re all under time restraints, aren’t we?”
Chao-Zing recorded the answers. They weren’t what she was expecting but would make for a representative sample of the group. The professor wasn’t quite certain about Lori’s story about a sighting. It wasn’t anything natural. It could be bullshit for all she knew. But she would keep an open mind and give Lori the benefit of the doubt. At least Lori wasn’t gushing with false appreciation of the sun like her next subject Lou Ann would do.
*
“I felt it the first second I was in its sights. I mean the sunrise’s sights,” Lou Ann drawled.
Chao-Zing recorded the answer while Lou Ann/Kate observed. Good, the woman is practically shaking her head in disbelief.
“Had you ever felt this way about anything other than a human being?”
“No. That’s the funny part.” Lou Ann laid a hand on Chao-Zing’s shoulder. “I didn’t see the light until Timothy took me to it.”
The women were seated on the same park bench Chao-Zing and Lori had previously occupied. Lou Ann had smiled and nodded to the departing Lori but the dark-haired girl kept her head down and shuffled away without so much as a wave.
“I wish that girl you just interviewed, Lori…is that her name?” Chao-Zing nodded. “I wish she had seen the light. Apparently, she has not.”
Chao-Zing ignored the comment. “You don’t have to answer this next question. It’s personal. But it’s necessary for the study.”
Lou Ann nodded. Inside, Kate squirmed a bit.
“Do you have feelings for Timothy?”
“I do. It’s probably pretty apparent. ‘Cause us Southern gals can’t hide from the truth.” Lou Ann flashed a smile and flipped her hair off her shoulders.
Chao-Zing nodded and tapped at her keyboard. “And do you feel this could be a factor in the way you described your feelings toward the sunrise?”
“I don’t know how to answer that. I mean, Timothy did lead me to the well so to speak. But you can’t make a horse drink, right?” She giggled. “I know I don’t feel the same way about the sun as I do about Timothy in the bedroom.” Lou Ann squeezed her knees together and repositioned herself on the bench.
Chao-Zing’s frown was noticeable.
Good. I suppose that ridiculous answer might skew her crazy ‘study’. All her peers will review is a ridiculous study about a ridiculous subject.
“I appreciate your time.”
“Anything I can do to help advance science.”
Lou Ann cocked her head and smiled, gaining more satisfaction from Chao-Zing’s uneasiness. The professor was all but speechless.
“See you at the next Saturday sunrise.”
Kate deemed Lou Ann’s performance as successful. It had chipped away at Chao-Zing’s zest for pseudo truth or whatever metaphysical mumbo jumbo the good professor was chasing. But it probably wasn’t going to deter Timothy either way.
Kate took a few quiet moments in her car to come up with a battle plan for Lou Ann.
It might be over the top and she would have to come up with a way to smooth things over with her roommate Sheila but it would probably only be temporary.
At least that’s what Kate told herself until she found Lou Ann’s words carried a lot more weight with her than she had imagined.
Timothy opened his door with his usual enthusiasm, hugging and kissing her until time and space seemed universes away.
After she came up for air, she delivered the torpedo.
“Honey child. I have a question. What would you say if little Lou Ann proposed moving in with you?”
Timothy pursed his lips and then his eyebrows rose as he burst into a grin.
“That’s surprisingly good news.” He reached to draw her back into his arms. “Although I have to admit I am getting used to receiving good news lately.”
“I’m glad you said that.” Lou Ann hugged Timothy back but Kate felt it was she who was bonding with Timothy. Somewhere in Kate’s mind she heard herself think, I bet this news will knock your beloved sun down a peg or two…finally. Somewhere underneath her determination, she felt elation. It was exciting to advance a relationship even if it was only a false one.
And then she heard another voice and it sounded very much like Lou Ann’s. But don’t let this Timothy become your favourite distraction either. This is an assignment, girl. You aren’t real and neither is this relationship. Remember that.
Chapter Eleven
Chao-Zing fiddled with her hair, toying with a long flowing mane but finally deciding on a more formal looking up do. Next was makeup. A pink gloss was preferable but maybe it was only because her former boyfriend always told her how hot her lips looked in that shade.
To hell with the past and maybe to hell with the future…She watched her herself in the mirror, a dour expression enveloping her. She had lost a boyfriend, or perhaps just a boy toy. Her career was teetering on the brink of disaster because she refused to toe the line and exclude other possibilities of thinking in her classes as the school board demanded. Finally, her paranoia had gotten the best of her. She actually believed a transfer student was sent to spy on her.
Oh, and I almost forgot my ground-breaking study. Chao-Zing was less than enthusiastic about her examination of the sun’s effect on human behaviour. She felt participants were lying or telling her what they wanted her to hear. At least in the case of the woman named Lou Ann.
But she was comforted by Kevin’s responses. They were genuine and so was the kind look he always reflected with his eyes. Chao-Zing had to catch her breath. It was a lot to think about. Career, relationships, peer reviewed studies. Tonight, she just wanted a respite and took Kevin up on his offer of - in his words - an ‘unconventional date’.
Kevin wore a sly grin when he picked her up. “No.” He waggled a cautionary finger. “I am not allowed to tell where we are going until we get there. I believe it is rule #1 of unconventional dating.”
“Ah. So what is rule #2?”
“Enjoy yourself.”
Chao-Zing laughed.
“See, unconventional dating is easy.”
“If one can agree it’s a date.”
“I believe both parties must concur for that to occur.”
“I will agree in an unconventional manner.”
“See, Chao-Zing, you’re getting the hang of this. It’s totally unconventional.”
The professor was still baffled as to what Kevin had in mind as they parked at the Ronald Reagan building.
Kevin looked up at the sky as they exited the parking garage. “Ah, we’ve got a glorious view of a glorious night.”
Chao-
Zing couldn’t help but get hooked into Kevin’s charm and positive outlook. Her hand was interlaced with his before she overanalysed it. They gazed in wonder at the luminescence of the Washington Monument. Finally, the cat was out of the bag. Chao-Zing gasped at a long row of telescopes set up along 15th Street and Constitution Ave.
“I know you don’t see this every day; I mean not outside on the streets of the nation’s capital.”
“It is pleasingly unconventional. How on Earth did you plan such an event?”
Kevin shoved his hands into his pockets. “It’s all just a matter of timing. It’s beautiful when the universe works that way.”
“I agree.” Chao-Zing tugged at Kevin’s arm, pulling him toward the nearest free telescope.
Kevin grinned from ear to ear as he peered into the scope. “I’m afraid I’m not going to impress you by naming constellations or identifying a passing comet.”
Chao-Zing raised her hand to her mouth in surprise when a white-haired gentleman patted Kevin on the back. “I’m afraid no comets tonight. But you can get a nifty peek at some solar flares.”
Kevin and Chao-Zing locked eyes. “Amazing” they said in unison.
“Oh, so you have an interest in solar events?” The man wore an expression as if he too shared that interest.
“I do.” Chao-Zing introduced herself and Kevin and shook hands with the man named Professor Zack Simmons.
She found herself forging ahead and discussing Organized Dissonance and Washington University’s attitude to the metaphysical as Kevin looked on with an open mouth.
Professor Simmons shook his head. “I personally do feel a connection to everything I can see up there.” He laughed. “And what I can’t see as well.”
Chao-Zing nodded. “Who do we have to thank for tonight’s festivities?”
“That would be Hofstra University. They want to engage children with the stars.”
Kevin laughed. “Even big children, I hope.”
“That’s right. You can’t help but feel like a child when you peer into the sky.”
Chao-Zing concurred. “It’s the awe reaction. No one’s immune.”
Professor Simmons wished them a good evening. “I hope you enjoy yourselves. I don’t know what to tell you about your conundrum, Professor Zheng, but perhaps Hofstra University will be more forgiving toward your theories.”
Chao-Zing nodded.
“You may meet some other like-minded groups here tonight if you want to bolster Organized Dissonance’s membership,” he added.
Chao-Zing invited Simmons to attend a session by texting him the address.
Kevin placed his hand on Chao-Zing’s shoulder. “Wow. I didn’t expect you to promote Timothy’s group tonight.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because you’re studying it, I suppose.” He clenched his jaw.
Chao-Zing didn’t want Kevin to stress. “Wouldn’t I want more people to study?”
“I see. It’s only logical.”
“Now let’s see some solar activity.”
*
Ron Hayes paced in front of the conference table she was seated at. Kate pictured her supervisor as a duck, the kind one shoots at a fair. The thought was unnerving. She was supposed to be on Hayes’s side yet she toyed with the fantasy for a moment longer, picturing herself shooting him and then winning a stuffed rabbit.
Was Hayes the real enemy? If so, why was she manoeuvring against a man she started to have feelings for? And now she was living with that man Hayes referred to as the subject. She really didn’t care if Hayes approved of her new living arrangement or not.
Hayes cleared his throat before speaking. “I admire your hands-on approach, Kate. I really do. It’s just that I’m afraid you might be exposing more to the subject than desired. Think about it. You’ll be there and so will your belongings. Can you guarantee you won’t slip up?”
Kate crossed her arms across chest. “I can’t say I have had experience as a spy before. But I can assure you the subject believes I am Lou Ann.”
“I guess that’s good enough for me. Just be meticulous because you’ve made a commitment. If you up and leave it might jeopardize the whole plan.”
“And that plan is still to bring down Organized Dissonance by any means possible, isn’t that correct, Supervisor Hayes?”
Hayes leered at her. “By any peaceful and indirect means necessary. Is that clear?”
“Very clear, I couldn’t imagine any other way.”
“I hope you can keep the subject as removed from you as possible, Kate.”
Kate felt a rise of sarcasm. This man has clearly never had feelings for anyone.
“He’ll be at an arm’s length, of course, Supervisor. Kate Sizemore won’t even be in the room.”
*
A small contingent of regulars always arrived early at Timothy’s on Saturday mornings. Lori Rogers was the first to tap on Tim’s door at 4:30 am.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Timothy answered the door groggily. Hair dishevelled, t-shirt half tucked into jeans and beard stubble dotting his face.
She wanted to say she couldn’t sleep because she was thinking about him. The moment Lou Ann stepped into the room her daydream fantasy ceased.
It was true. She had been thinking of him. Talk about fantasy. After admitting she was part of the duo responsible for his home invasion, Timothy was supposed to take her hand in his, dump Lou Ann and set course for a life of happily ever after. But even this fantasy was flawed because Lori didn’t have an ever after, at least not much. The clock was ticking. The sooner she admitted to her wrong doing the better she and the universe would be for it. And if somehow this sun worshipping could save her… It was just an errant thought of light among dark realizations. She would have to settle for Timothy accepting her apology and that would be that.
When should she divulge her sin? When would the time ever be right, especially with Lou Ann stalking the premises night and day?
Timothy scratched at his beard. Lori found herself staring at him. She willed herself to break eye contact and she took her usual seat on a flower print couch. “I’m sorry I was so early. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”
“Never apologize for the feeling. I tend to get antsy myself when 4 am rolls around.” Timothy raised a mug. “Do you take coffee with your caffeine?”
Lori giggled. “Please. No sugar or cream though.”
“Straight up it is.” While Timothy poured, Lori observed Lou Ann. The woman appeared wound up to say the least as if she would storm out of the room at any second. Lori wondered if the woman was actually jealous of her. It didn’t make sense. Lou Ann had the Hollywood looks and body. There was nothing for Lou Ann to worry about in Lori’s eyes. Unless there was something else wrong with this picture.
Lori took the hot mug with both hands from Timothy. She felt his gorgeous brown eyes boring into her. She fought with all her might to break contact. When she did, she found Lou Ann had left the room. Water was running in the bathroom. Maybe she would get a few minutes alone with Timothy. The question remained: was the timing right?
“So what are you up to these days?” Timothy asked, attempting to tuck his shirt into his jeans.
“Oh, the usual…”
“And that would be…”
“Reading. I love to read.”
“Does it make you feel as good as the sun does?” Timothy raised a hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to jump to a conclusion. I just sometimes assume everyone has feelings like I do. Maybe others will take more time to find their revelation.”
The words tugged at her heart and soul. She was keeping a couple of secrets and both of them would be revelations to Timothy. Lori imagined he would feel less than enlightened if she were to spill the beans about either.
“I do feel something. I was telling Professor Zheng the other day about it. I do feel there is hope. It’s just that I’m not at the revelation stage yet.”
They laughed in unison.
“I
s there anything else you want to tell me?” Timothy took a seat opposite her. “I am not conducting a study. This is off the record.”
Shit. What was he getting at? Does he already know I broke into his home? Is he simply waiting for me to admit it because he’s a kind and forgiving soul? Lori clasped her hands together on her thighs and began to involuntary rock.
“There is something you’re keeping secret, isn’t there?”
As Lori fumbled for her tongue to make coherent syllables, a knock interrupted.
It was the couple. Lori could never recall their names. They seemed so vanilla to her.
Timothy tried to raise conversation with the couple but it was awkward. They seemed to already possess perfect lives and Lori couldn’t fathom why they needed the power of a star millions of miles away to enhance their already storybook existence. Lori passed the time she could have had with Timothy by stroking Helena’s back. The cat purred with satisfaction.
Lori wished for such contentment. She needed something, anything of light to help her. Timothy’s concern seemed genuine but if he wasn’t already in the know about the robbery, would he behave so rationally when she copped to the break in? She already gauged Lou Ann’s reaction. The woman with the drawl would be phoning the police on speed dial. The chance for forgiveness from the majority was fleeting. It was probably why she was drawn to such an oddball like Timothy Ray in the first place. Oddballs promised hope.
Half an hour passed quickly. Timothy clapped his hands together for the group to head out. “Dawn will be breaking in ten minutes!”
As Timothy peeked out the window, probably gazing into the sky for his beloved sun, Lori saw the child within the man. A smile engulfed him.
“I might be wrong but I think we have a lot of new attendees. Either that or the block is having a party at this ungodly hour.”
A call interrupted. Timothy placed it on speakerphone. It was Chao-Zing. “Kevin and I are pulling up now. It’s kind of hard to find a spot. I apologize.”
“Apologize for what, Professor?”
“For inundating your block with new attendees, that’s what.” Chao-Zing laughed.
