by Karen Booth
“This gives me another perfect opportunity to push her on it, but tonight’s probably not the night, huh? Not when everyone is here.”
“Agreed. Tonight should be happy. Leave the tough conversation for another day.”
He turned to her while a soft smile crossed his face. “It means a lot to have someone to talk to about this.”
Sarah grinned, even when she was dying a little more on the inside. Their ability to discuss painful things was one of the best parts of their friendship. He’d been so sweet with her when she’d opened up about Jason. He hadn’t judged her. Not at all. “Good. I’m glad.”
He knocked the bookcase with his knuckle. “I’ll leave you to whatever you were working on. I’m going to get a workout in before the lawyers come by.”
The afternoon was a flurry of activity. Documents were signed. Calls were made to the market to have food and drinks delivered. Oliver got an early bath before his first Langford family gathering. Sarah relished the hustle and bustle. It kept her mind off the clock, a constant reminder that it would soon be time to not only say goodbye to two people she cared about deeply, but after that came do-or-die time with Kama. What if everything with Sylvia Hodge blew up? Because that’s where it seemed to be headed. The email she’d sent that afternoon had been answered with yet more questions. More doubts. More reasons they might say no. Then where would she be? Back in Boston, alone, her future a big fat question mark.
Aiden’s brother Adam and his wife, Melanie, were the first to arrive. Adam was incredibly charming—just as magnetic as Aiden, with a smile that was nearly identical. That gave Sarah pause. Maybe Evelyn Langford wasn’t keeping a secret. Sarah didn’t have much time to think about it though, quickly hitting it off with Melanie, who was both down-to-earth and talkative.
“I have to say, Aiden. Fatherhood really agrees with you,” Adam said as Oliver sat happily in Aiden’s arms.
“Thank you. I really appreciate that.” Aiden’s response was more than polite conversation. His brother’s kind words had resonated.
“I’ll have to get some pointers from you when the time comes. Mel and I are trying to get pregnant,” Adam said.
Melanie’s eyes flashed. She swatted Adam on the arm. “I thought we weren’t telling anyone.”
Adam put his arm around her and pulled her closer, kissing her on the cheek. “We’re with family. There are no secrets.”
If only that were true with the Langfords.
Jacob and Anna arrived, both ecstatic to see Oliver. The baby had apparently fallen in love with his uncle Jacob during the Miami trip, since he readily went to him. Everyone chatted in the kitchen, wine and cocktails flowing, music in the background. No problems. No controversy. But despite Aiden’s pledge to keep things light, Sarah had a sinking feeling that might change with the arrival of the final guest.
Aiden grabbed a carrot stick from a platter of veggies and dip. “Leave it to my mother to be late for her grandson’s first party.”
“Maybe she’s stuck in traffic.” Sarah arranged crackers on a plate.
“You know she likes making an entrance,” Adam said. “It’s annoying, but true.”
The apartment buzzer rang. Aiden took in a deep breath and adopted the most forced smile Sarah had ever seen. “Mom’s here.” He soon returned with Evelyn.
She greeted everyone sweetly, saving Oliver for last. “There’s my handsome grandson.”
Oliver was content to stay with Jacob, but he humored his grandmother, laughing when she made a silly face and holding her finger with his pudgy hand.
Aiden smiled, but Sarah could see once again that he was having to try. What it must be like to live with something so big hanging over your head—Sarah could only imagine. It burdened him, greatly, and how could it not? It had made him the person he was today. Nothing was safe from the influence of the secret he was convinced his mother was keeping.
For nearly two hours, Sarah dedicated herself to being a comfort to Aiden, bringing him a fresh drink when needed, offering a reassuring smile or moment of eye contact, especially when he sat on the living room sofa with his mom. Every time he acknowledged Sarah with a smile or a nod, it shored up their solidarity. The friendship they’d forged would be one of her greatest takeaways from their ten days together. It could comfort her when she found herself wondering what would have happened if she hadn’t put up a stone wall after Miami.
“How are you holding up?” She crouched next to him at the end of the couch when his mother had gone to use the bathroom. Things were winding down, which was good since Aiden seemed to have reached his limit. His eyes were tired, his jaw tense, brows drawn tightly together.
“She’s making me crazy. She’s spent the whole night planning things for Oliver’s birthday next month and talking about how she wants to spend Christmas morning with him. It rubs me the wrong way. I can’t help it.”
Probably because she never did those things for you. Sarah bit down on her lip to keep from saying what Aiden already knew. “Maybe she’s trying to make up for the past.”
A slight smile crossed his face and he clasped his hand over hers. “You’re so sweet. I love your optimism. But I’m pretty sure this is just her way of sweeping the past under the rug.”
He was probably right. She didn’t know why she had the need to put a positive spin on his mother’s insensitivity, she only knew that she did. “So let’s just get everyone to clear out.”
“Yes. Oliver needs to get to bed anyway.”
* * *
By the time Aiden’s mom returned from the bathroom, he’d had enough for one day. Sarah was right. Everyone needed to go home. He got up from the couch. “I don’t want to spoil the party, but I need to get Oliver to bed.”
His mother smiled and nodded. “Such a good dad.” She popped up onto her tiptoes and kissed Aiden on the cheek. “It’s been a wonderful night. I only wish your father could’ve lived to meet his grandson.”
That image left Aiden frozen with the words he wanted to say. It would be easier on everyone if he let it go, but after years on the periphery of his family, doubt festering in his head and heart, he not only wanted the truth, it was the only thing he could speak. “I’m not sure he would’ve accepted Oliver.” He sure as hell didn’t accept me.
“Of course he would have.”
Again, the need—the thirst—for the truth was desperate. The fire inside him, the pain he lived with every day, blazed. “But he didn’t accept me.”
His mother’s eyes were horror stricken. “Your father loved you.”
Aiden calmly confronted her by looking her square in the eye. “Just tell me. I’m tired of wondering. I don’t want to have to think about it anymore.”
“But...”
He clasped his hand firmly over hers. “Mom. I love you, but there is no but. If you want to be a part of Oliver’s life, you’ll tell me the truth about who my father is.”
Adam approached. “Everything okay?”
Aiden refused to let his mother off the hook. “Mom was going to finally tell me the truth about who my dad is. Weren’t you?”
“You’d keep my grandson from me?”
Aiden nodded. “If you love me, you’ll tell me.”
His mother’s eyes misted. Her lower lip trembled. “I don’t want to hurt you. I never did.”
“Mom, it’s too late. This is your chance to start making it better.” Aiden braced for what was to come.
His mother perched on the edge of a chair. “We tried to make it work, but your father...” She cast her eyes up at Adam, then Aiden. Anna joined them and took Aiden’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Your father couldn’t deal with it. He looked at Aiden and all he saw was what he perceived as betrayal. That’s why you were sent off to school. And I agreed, because I couldn’t watch him be cruel to you and loving with A
dam and Anna. Your father had such a temper. I was worried about what might happen if he got truly angry at you. That’s why you were sent away.”
Aiden swallowed, dogged by lonely memories from his childhood—birthdays in boarding school, phone calls from his mother where she acted as if this was all normal and summers at home as the odd man out. He was an expert at filing those things away, but he had to face them now. This is it. The moment I’ve waited for. “Then who’s my father?”
Jacob, holding Oliver, had joined Anna. Melanie had crept closer, too, standing with Adam. They all had each other. Who did Aiden have? He turned and his vision landed on her—Sarah, standing there with concern painted on her face. She was his one true ally in this room.
“Your uncle Charlie is your biological father. I dated him before Roger. It was short, but that’s when you were conceived. I lied to Roger when we first started going out. I didn’t want him to know that I’d been with his brother. Roger and I fell in love and when we learned I was pregnant, we got married.” She peered up at Aiden. The corners of her mouth were drawn down, deep creases between her eyes. She might be hurt, but she’d left him with the same scars. “It didn’t take long after you were born for Roger to put two and two together. You have the same birthmark on your leg that Charlie had.”
“The same one Oliver has.” Aiden was amazed he’d said anything calmly considering the speed at which his mind and heart were racing.
“Yes.” She gathered her composure. “Things were okay for a while, but everything changed when Adam was born. He always compared you two. He and Charlie had such a contentious relationship, it was no big surprise. And then Charlie died in the motorcycle accident and Roger couldn’t handle it. It was such a tangle of emotion and you were the one it all got directed at, Aiden. I had to get you somewhere safe, where I knew you’d be okay. That’s why I agreed to send you off to school.”
Aiden stood there, thinking. With everything that had been launched at him, his mind was remarkably clear. The truth had washed away the dirt on the windows. He could see. The anger hadn’t left, but it made sense now. He turned again to Sarah, who was standing back from the group. Of all the people in that room, she was the one he wanted to talk to. She was the one he wanted to confide in. He wanted to be alone with her. He wanted to feel good again. As to whether she wanted the same from him, he had no idea. Her face showed only sweet empathy as he walked Oliver over to her.
“I’m going to send everybody packing,” he said softly.
“Good,” Sarah said.
Aiden turned to his family. “Thanks everybody for coming today. It’s been good for Oliver. And for me.”
“Say something,” his mother pleaded. “Please tell me you forgive me.”
He could’ve been so cruel, but it wasn’t in his heart. However misguided she might’ve been, she’d thought she was doing the right thing. “I forgive you, Mom. That doesn’t mean I’m over it. We’re talking about a lifetime of lies. It will take time. Someday I want you to tell me more about my real dad. For tonight, I think it’s best if everyone goes.”
Adam reached out to shake Aiden’s hand. It might’ve been the first time that Aiden felt zero ill will toward his brother. They’d both been caught in the same dysfunctional dynamic. Adam might’ve reaped some of the good things, but he’d had his own burdens.
“You’re my brother, Aiden,” Adam said. “And I love you. I’m around if you need to talk about this.”
“I’d like that,” Aiden replied.
“I’m not sure what to say,” his mother said. “Other than goodbye.”
“Why don’t we plan on you coming over next week for some time with your grandson?” Aiden answered. It was time for the healing to begin.
“I would love it.” With that, Adam walked his mom and Melanie to the door.
Anna grasped Aiden’s arm, tears in her eyes. “You were right,” she muttered. “I didn’t want to believe it. I’m so sorry.”
He hugged his sister. “Don’t apologize. You’ve never been anything but loving and supportive. You know, you’re going to make such an amazing mom. I can’t wait for Oliver to have a cousin.”
Anna smiled through her tears and pecked him on the cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He walked Anna and Jacob to the entryway and watched as they stepped onto the elevator with Adam, Melanie and Evelyn, the door sliding closed. There were footsteps behind him. He knew it was Sarah, and not because she was the only other adult in the house. In only a week, he’d learned the tempo of her gait.
“If you want, I can do bedtime tonight,” she said. “I’m sure you’re exhausted.”
Her voice was salve to his soul. He turned and it felt as if the universe was presenting him with the cure to all that ailed him. Whatever the problem, she made things better.
“Let’s both put him to bed. Together.”
“Oh. Sure. I’d like that.”
The party had taken it out of Oliver. Aiden put him in his pajamas and Sarah read him a story, sitting with him in the rocking chair. Aiden leaned against the door frame, studying them together. If only he could capture that moment in a bottle, save it for later, after she was gone. Sarah’s absence would leave a void in his and Oliver’s life that would be impossible to fill. But it was what she wanted. She’d made that clear.
After only a few minutes, Oliver sacked out in Sarah’s arms. She gently set him in the crib, and she and Aiden tiptoed into the hall.
“I’m sorry about tonight.” Aiden reached for her arm. “I know we said that I should wait for another time, but I had to say something. It was killing me.”
“I’m proud of you for doing it. Even though it hurts right now, be patient with yourself. Give yourself some time to process it. And in the end, Oliver’s love will heal you. I truly believe that.”
He would have smiled if it weren’t so hard to breathe. She was so determined to make everything better, and that made her even more beautiful, that much more impossible to resist.
“I think I’ll head to bed,” she said. “I’m sure you want time to think about everything.”
Could he risk his pride for a second time tonight? He had to. Even if she might say she didn’t want him the way he wanted her. He might not get another chance. “Don’t go, Sarah. Stay with me.”
Fifteen
Stay with me. Sarah wasn’t sure she’d heard his words correctly. They were surprising. They were scary—driving her to a place where she surrendered to her deep longing for him. Did he want her? She wasn’t about to make presumptions about what Aiden had said. Not now. Not when she’d be opening herself up to more hurt. “Did you want to talk?”
He granted the smallest fragment of a smile, looking at her with his heartbreaking blue eyes, his gaze saying he didn’t need to talk. He tenderly tucked her hair behind her ear, drawing his finger along her jaw to her chin. “I don’t know what force in the universe brought you to me, Sarah. I only know that right now, I need you. I want you. And I’d like to think that you want me, too.”
The air stood still, but Sarah swayed, lightheaded from Aiden’s words. Their one night together had been electric, filling her head with memories she’d never surrender, but judging by the deep timbre of Aiden’s voice, they might shatter what happened in Miami. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” And no-strings-attached only breaks my heart.
“Is that why you shut things down after Miami?”
“Yes.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was enough. As much as sleeping with Aiden might be a mistake, she didn’t want to deprive herself of him. Would one more time really hurt? “And I’ve spent every minute since then regretting it.”
“Then I say we have no more regrets.”
Before she knew what was happening, he scooped her up into his arms. She’d never had
a man carry her anywhere. Her small stature had always made her wonder why—apparently she’d had to wait for Aiden. She wrapped her hands around his neck and leaned into him. He took the few steps necessary to cross the threshold into his room. He set her gently on the bed and stretched out next to her.
She cupped the side of his face, the stubble of his beard scratching her palm. Her heart beat a frantic rhythm as she waited. Then his lips were on hers, soft and sensuous, and that made her pulse race faster. She closed her eyes to immerse herself in the world of Aiden—the silky soft sheets and his masculine smell, his solid, muscular body. He palmed her thigh, his hand inching along under her skirt, sending ribbons of electricity through her.
He rolled to his back, taking her with him until she was straddling his hips. Her dress was now hitched up around her and Aiden explored beneath her skirt again, slipping his fingers into the back of her lace panties and cupping her bottom. She rested her arms on the bed above his shoulders and dug her fingers into his thick hair, rocking her pelvis against his, his rock-hard erection rubbing against her apex. The need for Aiden had been building for two days, and everything he did made it more pronounced—his tongue exploring her mouth, his white-hot touch.
She sat back and scrambled her way through the buttons of his shirt. He untucked it, then shifted and rolled his magnificent shoulders out of his sleeves. She sat there in awe, reaching out and skimming her fingers along the contours of his shoulders. He was so incredible, inside and out. He clutched her neck, and brought her mouth back down onto his as she again rolled her hips, grinding against his crotch, making everything between her legs blaze with licks of fire—each pass was a tiny measure of gratification, and a bigger dose of torment. She needed him now.
“Touch me, Aiden.”
She reached behind her and unzipped her dress, then Aiden threaded his hands beneath the skirt again and pushed the garment up over her head. She planted her hands on the bed next to his shoulders, and he traced the edge of her bra cups with his finger, dipping below the fabric edge and rubbing her nipple. The skin contracted hard beneath his touch, and goose bumps followed. A deep moan left her lips, just to let off a bit of the pressure. He was torturing her, his gaze never leaving her, the need in his eyes fierce and undeniable. He slid his finger under the strap and nudged it off her shoulder, then did the same on the other side. She was about to beg him to take off her bra when he snapped the clasp and the garment fell away. He cupped her breasts in his strong hands—such blissful relief that you’d think she’d waited a lifetime for his touch. She arched her back and her eyes drifted shut as he raised his head and flicked his tongue against one nipple, need shuddering through her. His lips closed on the tight bud, while his hand trailed down her stomach and slipped down the front of her panties, finding her apex.
