Celeste, I miss you so much and it hurts that you aren’t here anymore. Since your death, I have become a closed off person, afraid of going out and loving someone. Recently, I met someone, his name is Cooper. You would like him. Cooper is smart, charming, romantic, extremely gorgeous and most importantly, he loved me. Loved, past tense, because I broke his heart. Fear and anger got the best of me and I pushed him away. It is time to get my man back. I hate living without him. Do you think he will forgive me? A gust of wind blows, Celeste is letting me know she is here. Thanks, Celeste. I will be back soon and hopefully with Cooper.
I grab my phone and call Beverly.
“Beverly, this is Carmen.”
“I know, please tell me you are calling with good news.”
“After much thought, I am going to take your advice. I will stop by Cooper’s on Christmas”
“Carmen, this is great news. He is going to be so happy.” She seems happy too.
“Please do not tell him,” I say.
“It will be our secret.”
“See you then. Bye, Beverly.”
On my drive back to Arlington, I think of what I can do to rectify the damage I’ve done. Talking to Celeste has made me see how much of a fool I’ve been. I always have my guard up, this time it backfired. Cooper is the first man to ever love me and I love him too, why did I let him get away? I tell myself to focus, not concentrate too much on the past. Time to move forward. Time to prove my love, and I refuse to leave until he hears me out. Its only fifteen days before Christmas, so there’s not a lot of time to prepare. First, I need a gift. Not just any gift, an amazing gift. I will look online when I get home, and maybe ask Marcia and Giselle for their opinion.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The holidays are always a hectic but fun time of the year for me. I personally welcome the never ending to-do list these days. It’s a way to keep my mind off Cooper. Today marks nine days before Christmas, and my center is full of holiday activities. The smell of fresh pine from the real tree located in the lobby makes me think of Christmas. Our theme this year is Candy Land. The tree is decorated with ginger bread houses and lollipops. Large swirled lollipops of two different colors are stuffed in sections throughout the tree. Clear icicles hang around the outer limbs, and the multi-color lights make them glow a different color. A huge lollipop with pink and white swirls is used as the tree topper.
A blanket of white snow surrounds the bottom area. Colorful houses with lollipops are found resting above. Seeing this for the last three weeks has warmed my heart. The kids were so excited to be involved. The desk in the front has lighted garland draped from one side to the next and unique balls are hung on it. In between are stockings with my staff’s name. All the windows are covered with snowflakes and different sayings: “Let it snow,” “Merry Christmas,” and “Happy Holidays from our home to yours.”
Enrollment is up and business is good. Without my staff, the center would not run. They are phenomenal and deserve to be recognized and appreciated. After giving my employees three dates to choose from, they selected this Saturday for their Christmas outing. I will be treating the entire staff and their spouses to dinner at The Steakhouse. I have also purchased gift cards from each of their favorite stores. A small token of my gratitude for all they do year round. As the day winds down, I speak to the center’s director, my friend, Giselle. I’m ensuring everything is lined up for the classroom parties next week. The doorbell rings, and there is a UPS worker outside with a couple of boxes.
Opening the door, he says. “Good evening ma’am. I have a couple of packages for Carmen Williams.”
“That’s me. Where do I sign?”
He points me to an electronic pad where I scribble my name. He wishes me a Merry Christmas and is off to beat rush hour. Two of the boxes are for Marcia. The weight of the other one lets me know it’s Cooper’s. He was the hardest person to shop for. What do you get a man that already has everything? Fortunately with Marcia’s and Giselle’s help, I was able to pick out something he should love. Before leaving the office, I kick off my heels and slide my flats on for the drive home. I text Marcia before I leave to make sure she is there, and she is. She said the wine glasses are already out waiting for something to be poured into them. I can’t wait! I reply. I sigh as I put the gifts in my car. It reminds me to insist on Marcia being my date tomorrow night.
There is no pine scent as I walk through our door, but I do spot our tree in the corner. It stands about 4 feet tall, white in color, the lights are silver. Our ornaments should be classified as girly, not to mention kick-ass. They consist of wine glasses, shoes, and makeup. Some are in the shape of the heart with a shoe in the middle. Some shoes are red, some leopard. The lipstick hanging is in a leopard tube with red peeking out. Marcia wrapped silver garland around it, and it looks beautiful. Our tree skirt is red crushed velvet with sequins scattered around it. The only thing missing are some presents; it’s pretty bare down there at the moment.
“Oh, Marcia,” I sing while hanging my keys beside the door.
“I’m in the kitchen, the wine and I have been waiting for you,” she says.
We chat about our days over a glass of Moscato. I notice the glasses we’re drinking from must be part of the holiday decor. They are red with white writing going around the glass that read, HO-HO-HO.
“These glasses really fit you well.” I send a playful look in Marcia’s direction.
“Whatever Carmen, at least I get mine.” She laughs and downs the remainder in the glass.
“I hope you save that behavior for after my center Christmas dinner.” I’m hoping she doesn’t say she has plans.
“Sounds like you are asking me out?” Marcia blinks her eyes.
“Well consider it a date!”
I rush to hug her. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I say.
“No need for thanks, just help me pick out something hot to wear.” I follow her to the closest where she has an endless amount of clothing.
Once we’ve been through her tireless wardrobe, we search through mine. After that task is accomplished, we order some Chinese and watch some TrueBlood. As the credits begin to run when the episode is finished, we’re talking about everything that made us say hmm. Eric Northman being the main topic, but Alcide is yummy to look at too. Marcia says she’ll marry him one day, but I always inform her that it can only happen in her dreams. Marcia’s phone rings and she has to take a business call from Francisco, so I hug her goodnight. Out of fear of being forgetful, I double check that all the gift cards are in my bag for the dinner tomorrow. After a hot, relaxing bath I call it an early night.
When I open my eyes the next morning, all I want to see is Cooper. I refuse to become depressed, so I start my regular routine. I get up and brush my teeth. My attire for this evening is hanging in plain view as I exit the bathroom.
Marcia asks if I want to go with her to Starbucks. She’s actually pleading her case.
“No time for Starbucks, you caffeine addict. We must be at the salon at ten for our hair appointment.” She stands there with her puppy dog face. Since this is her horrible addiction, I give in.
“Okay, I’ll go through the drive thru so you can get your fix.”
I thought we were going to be late for our appointment. This time of the year Starbucks’ drive thru is wrapped around the building. Luckily we got her Cinnamon Dolce Latte with a double espresso and made it with five minutes to spare.
Leaving the salon, we feel untouchable. It’s so relaxing to have someone else do my hair. God I miss how Cooper washes my hair. We have no time for a nap when we get home. We use this time to tidy up our place, especially our closets. There was a lot of clothing tossed out and tried on last night in preparation for this evening.
After I shower, my hair is still perfect; I slip into my black dress. Leather is draped down both sides, giving it a sexier look. It sits about three inches from the knee, not to revealing, unlike Marcia’s. My shoes are red suede platform stilett
os. The toe is pointy, but surprisingly comfortable. Applying my famous smoky eye, I pull out the MAC crimson red lipstick and finalize my look.
“Its show time,” I say as I prance down the hall to Marcia’s room. Of course she’s still primping. “Perfection” is the remark I give her as she does turn after turn, checking herself from every angle of the full length mirror. Marcia decides to go with a form fitting purple lace dress. The back is cut out revealing her ivory skin. Sparkly gold platform stilettos make her shine. She has her hair up in a loose French twist. It draws attention to the gold hoops dangling from her earlobe.
“Thanks love, you look fab,” she replies.
I smile. I’m glad there are no single men on my staff. They would be knocked off their feet when she walks in the door. The atmosphere at The Steakhouse is peaceful. They have a Christmas tree in the front waiting area, decorated with white and gold. There are white lights draped around the hostess desk.
“Happy Holidays and welcome to The Steakhouse,” The hostess says merrily.
“Hi, reservation for Williams. We are using the banquet room in the back.”
“You’re absolutely correct, please follow James. He will show you the way.” James has been watching Marcia since she walked in. She is always dressed to kill.
Shimmering gold and silver pine cones outline the outer ridges of the room we step into. Another Christmas tree is decorated in the back corner, this one with red and green. There are wrapped presents underneath,
“They must be fake.” I say. Marcia states she will find out. “No. Don’t you dare go over there and start checking. I’m expecting my staff any minute.” Her facial expression is like a child who was just reprimanded by their parent. There are poinsettias in the room. I love all the red.
My staff starts to arrive. Many brought significant others, while some did not. I thought Giselle would be the only one dateless given that she just broke up with her boyfriend. We begin to chat while waiting for the appetizers to be served. Giselle and Marcia play catch up since they haven’t seen each other in a few months. Marcia has been so busy with work; she hasn’t been able to keep our Wednesday lunches. A while ago I allowed her to pick the designated day; she said there is no better day than hump day. She always knows how to make me laugh; especially now, when all I want to do is cry. This is why we’ve been friends for so long.
The waitress comes with the potato skins and spinach artichoke dip. People dig in. All the women at the table sip wine, while most men have opted for beer. Our dinner orders have been placed. I went with filet mignon. Seeing filet mignon on the menu makes me long for Cooper more. Marcia nudges me and asks what we are planning to do after dinner. I shrug my shoulders. The assistant director, Tonya, asks me about activities at the start of 2014. She has an abundance of creative ideas; I just wish I was completely sober to remember them all. I tell her to send me an email after the holidays so we can discuss them with more attention. She agrees.
While waiting for our entrée’s, I get everyone’s attention. “Good evening all, and thanks for coming. I would like to make a special toast to the people who I value more than words can say. My dedicated employees, you have made my center what it is today. I look at you all as my second family. It seems like yesterday we just cut the ribbon for the grand opening. Now, three years later, we are stronger than ever. Thank you all for your hard work and sticking with me. I couldn’t have done it without each and every one of you.” And with a raise of my glass, dinner is served.
As things start wrapping up and people start departing, I hug them goodbye and present them with the personalized gift cards. I have a strong bond with all nineteen of my employees; it’s necessary in order to run a successful business. You’re nothing without a happy staff. Then there was three. Marcia, Giselle, and I proceed to the bar. I order another glass of wine. Marcia and Giselle order Red Bull and vodka.
“My treat,” Giselle declares. “So ladies, should we head to Desire’s after this?”
Desire’s is a freshly revamped night club that has three floors. It’s a people pleaser, as each floor has a different type of music for whatever you desire at that particular time. Of course the hip-hop floor is always congested, but that’s the one we would love the most. Luckily Giselle knows the bartender so drinks would be on the house.
“Woot-woot!” Marcia exclaims. “I’m in, when are we leaving?”
“It’s almost 9. If we leave now, we probably still wouldn’t get in for another forty five minutes,” states Giselle.
“Well, if we’re going we need to down these drinks and get on the road. You know parking can be a nightmare around there,” I explain.
Marcia is jumping for joy in my consenting to join them. “We’ll make sure you have a fabulous time,” Giselle says while calling the bartender for the tab.
“Anytime with you two, is a great time.” I smile. “I’m going to stop at the ladies room to check my appearance and then I’ll be ready.”
They join me to admire themselves as well. We all chuckle about our conceitedness. These two are the closest to me, and I’m delighted to have them here. I was missing Cooper earlier when all the couples were here for dinner. Now I am focusing on a much needed night on the town. We follow Giselle there, as she lives in the same direction. We got lucky finding two spots beside each other. Marcia and I use this time to give Giselle her Christmas gifts.
“Shall we go and shake our asses?” Marcia amusingly asks.
We both nod, and are ready to make our grand entrance. As we pass through the security check, Giselle flirts discreetly with the bouncer.
“Well that’s a way to go after what you want,” I playfully say.
We all laugh, and head to the bar. Giselle’s friend, Lincoln works on the bottom floor. After drinks are in hand, we make our way to the top floor for plenty of dancing.
“Double fisting tonight, girls. It’s too much to try and make it back down here once we’re at the top,” Giselle says while handing us two vodkas and cranberry each.
Reaching the elevator, we make our way to the highest level. The colors red and white are everywhere. Even the female bartenders are dressed in skimpy red velvet dresses with white furry trim. They also wear black over the knee boots that have naughty written all over them. Plastic tip jars in the shape of Christmas trees and Santa can be found all the way around the bar. We chat and people watch for a moment while we finish our drinks.
Then we end up on the dance floor before it gets too crowded. “Blurred Lines” comes on and the people go wild. Its then I notice some handsome guys heading in our direction. They begin to dance with us.
Marcia and Giselle are grinding all over the men who have approached them. I slow my rhythm as the man behind me tries to lead me further back so our bodies are touching one another. The only man I can envision overtaking my body is Cooper. For a minute I close my eyes and pretend it’s him. My fantasies fade when a recent Kanye West song begins. It ruins the moment for me and I extend my thanks to the gentleman for the dance. He wants to exchange numbers but I tell him I’m involved so he doesn’t press the issue further. Marcia and Giselle look to be having a great time. I tell them I’m headed home for the evening, but insist they stay and enjoy themselves. Marcia offers to come back with me, but I decline. I will be just fine alone tonight; I have some needs that have to be attended too. They walk me to my car and then go back in to continue dancing.
Arriving back at the apartment, I begin to de-bundle the multiple layers of protection from the cold air outside. When I think about the dance earlier, I start to reminiscence of my first dance with Cooper and what soon followed shortly thereafter. I strip down to just my panties and slip under the covers seeking warmth in all areas of my body. While the images are still fresh in my mind I begin to rub myself to moistness. I could never make myself as wet as Cooper does. I am capable of making myself climax though in record times. With the skilled movement of my fingers, I aim at my clit with determined rubs, slow at first,
then gradually picking up the velocity. I haven’t masturbated since I met Cooper. Within a minute of my steady strokes my right hand is gripping the sheet as an orgasm rips through me like a thief in the night.
I fall sound asleep afterwards.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Every year Zoe Christian Ministries host a Christmas Cantata at the Verizon Center. Three of the largest choirs in our area come together and their voices create the most beautiful sounds. The program starts at 3 PM, but from past experience I always arrive at 2 PM. People from all over come out and they are dressed to impress. This year I am wearing a long elegant red gown, the waist is secured with a belt made of jewels. The sleeves flutter and the front comes down in a deep V-neck design. You can see the crystals peeping out from the bottom of my dress. I have on my favorite Christian Louboutin pumps for this special occasion. I conclude it with my long black wool Cashmere winter coat. If I hadn’t messed up my relationship with Cooper, I would have asked him to come. But I am going solo and I don’t mind because I love music.
The Verizon center looks exactly like a Christmas musical. The ushers hand out gold programs that list all the songs that will be performed: Go Tell It on the Mountain, Angels We Have Heard on High, Joy to the World, Away in the Manger, Silent Night, Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, The First Noel, Jingle Bells and We Wish You A Merry Christmas.
The program lasted an hour. It was wonderful and a few songs brought tears to my eyes. When I arrive at home, I work out longer than usual because on Christmas I am going to enjoy all of my mother’s desserts. After my shower I have a cup of cocoa with plenty of marshmallows.
Marcia walks in as I am preparing to wrap my parents and Cooper’s gifts. “What are you doing?” she asks.
Made to Love: Carmen and Cooper's Story Page 11
