by Mike Gayle
‘But you want to purchase the property without viewing it? Excuse me for asking,’ she says cautiously, ‘but is this some kind of a wind-up?’
It was a good question, especially given that some people would see it as a major step backwards to return to my home town. Even worse to cash in my pension, scrape together every last bit of money I’d made from the house sale and buy outright the home where I grew up. Not to mention doing so at the age of forty, without a partner in tow or a clue about how I was going to make a living for the next thirty-odd years. And yet I’m going to do it anyway.
‘I couldn’t be more serious,’ I tell the woman from Direct Move as I offer the full asking price and the name of my solicitor so she can confirm the details.
‘I don’t know what to say, Mr Beckford. In all my time in this business I’ve never had a buyer purchase one of our properties without at least one viewing in person. Are you sure you can’t be persuaded?’
‘No need, I’m already sold.’
‘Well, if you don’t mind me saying it certainly does seem to have made a lasting impression on you!’
‘What can I say? Some places just look like home.’
Epilogue
So after nearly five months of craziness that saw me fall in love with Ginny, move in with my parents, fall out of love with Ginny, become best mates with my all-time teen hero, fall in love with Rosa, move in with a bunch of students, get punched in the face by Gershwin, purchase my childhood home and have my wife begin divorce proceedings, what wisdom can I impart to those about to turn forty? Well, here it goes:
1. Waking up in bed alone on your fortieth birthday is far from the worst thing that can happen to you . . .
2. . . . but being punched in the face by your best mate is pretty near the top of the list.
3. Once you’re forty you no longer have to care what people think about you but it’s never a good idea to give them too much ammunition.
4. No matter what happens you should never, ever move back in with your parents. You both deserve better.
5. At forty you realise you’ve spent half your life trying to leave home and the other half trying to find somewhere to belong. Wanting to belong is good but it can bring out the crazy.
6. It turns out it’s true that forty’s not the end of the road, it really is just the beginning.
7. Self-imposed deadlines . . . who needs them?
Days left until I turn 50: 3627
