Not everything needed to be shared. Especially when all eyes were on you, waiting to pass judgment. He tried to make light of his time in the sandbox. Yeah, they’d run into the enemy, but it wasn’t much more than a shouting match. Not true, but again, not something they needed to hear. Forget everything they saw on TV; reality was nothing like that. It was worse.
The boys finished off their second helping while he talked. Dylan turned to his cousins. “Want to go for a hike?”
Both grumbled sure and they were off.
“Dante, how long is your assignment in Newport?” Justin asked, as he eyed his sister.
Yeah, he got the message: Don’t screw with my sister. “Three years, at which time I’ll have done twenty years. Not sure what will come after.”
“A lot can happen in that time.” Elaine smiled and gathered up the plates.
He tried not to read anything into her comment, but it was hard, especially knowing he was the first guy to come home in a decade.
No pressure.
Yeah, right.
The tremble started in his left hand. He clenched his fist, pressing it into his leg, hoping no one noticed. Fiona’s eyes locked on to his, then her gaze dropped.
“Mom, let me. You did all the cooking. Dante and I can clean up.”
He got the message, grabbed a couple of dishes off the table and followed her inside. Fiona took a quick peek out the window to make sure the others were out of range.
“Are you okay? We can leave if you want.”
“Are you kidding? There’s pie.” Leaving now would spoil the day and ignite a flurry of questions he didn’t want asked. He wanted to make a good impression. It mattered more than he cared to admit. “I’ll be fine. Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be back outside.”
“Okay.” Her voice was quiet, but she reached up and pressed a quick kiss on his mouth before leaving him alone.
The symptoms had worsened lately, more shaking, more lost moments. He’d give the doc a call on Monday, let him know what was going on and see if anything had changed. Maybe he simply needed more sleep. Not that he hadn’t gone before with less. If only he could get his brain to cooperate and forget the nightmares.
He ran through the breathing exercises Fiona had taught him, while letting the remnants of last night’s dream fade. It took a couple of tries, but as he walked back outside he felt steadier, less like a monkey in a cage.
“Dante,” Dylan called from the yard where he stood with Justin and the twins. “Want to play football with us?”
“Come on. I need help. It’s them against me,” Justin said.
“Trust me, my brother needs all the help he can get.” Fiona laughed at Justin’s scowl. The wife, Amber, lowered her head, but not before he saw her grinning. Guess he better give the guy a break.
* * * *
Amber told the rest of them to sit while she moved around cleaning up the table and carrying the food inside, leaving Fiona with her parents. For a while they quietly watched the guys play ball with the kids. Laughing at the antics and how the three boys ran circles around Justin and Dante.
Dylan got the ball. Dante blocked him. Her son went left, Dante mirrored him. Then he feinted right, at the last second spinning around to run around Dante’s left side. She thought he was in the clear and would score a touchdown. Dante grabbed Dylan around the waist and spun him around in the air. She couldn’t hear the conversation but Dylan held on to the ball like it was his last prized possession. Dante lifted him higher and Dylan shook his head, a huge grin. The other guys had stopped and were watching, waiting to see what they’d do.
Peals of laughter erupted from her son. He squirmed and Dante laughed before he fell to the ground and the two of them rolled around wrestling for the ball.
“He’s a nice guy,” Dad said. “Great with Dylan.”
Amber stopped in her clean up for a moment to watch. “Even the twins like him. I think that’s the most either of them have said all week long.”
“He’s got a way with people.” Out of all the instructors Dante was probably the one who most often helped the other students in class, would join in on a conversation, or do something silly to break the tension.
“Good looking guy—”
“Mom.” She knew where her mother was headed… more grandkids.
“Just an observation, honey. Have you met his family? He said they lived in Providence, right?”
No way was she telling her mom how long ago she’d met Dante’s whole family. Her mom wasn’t the type to hover or constantly stick her nose in Fiona’s business or feel like she needed to be a part of every moment of her life. However, a month was a big gap and she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Waiting hadn’t been to hide the relationship, but at the same time, she hadn’t wanted her family to read more into the situation than it warranted. And she probably would have turned down meeting his family when she did if Dylan hadn’t been so excited to go.
But now? Things had changed. Dante mattered, to her, to Dylan and introducing him to her family mattered.
The chatter on the deck had gone still and Fiona looked up to find three sets of eyes on her. Clearly she’d been lost in her thoughts longer than she realized.
“Oh, yes, they live in Providence and they’re fun, a lot like us, just more of them.” She gave a quick rundown of his siblings, their spouses, kids. Her mother teared up over the wedding story and even her father smiled.
“So strange,” her mom said.
“What is?”
“Sal didn’t seem to like him much when we ran into each other. He’d made a comment that we shouldn’t allow Dante around Dylan, that he was dangerous. Something about a ticking bomb waiting to go off—”
“What? That’s… that’s bollocks!” Fiona slammed her water bottle down.
Her parents said nothing, but their raised eyebrows showed their shock.
“Wow,” Risa said as she walked up out of the house with a sleepy Adalyn in her arms. Risa kissed her parents, and deposited the baby in Grandma Elaine’s lap.
“Did I miss something?” Jax asked when he joined them.
“Fiona swore.” Risa looked at her husband, grinning.
Jax looked from Fiona to the yard where the guys had resumed their game of football and back. “Everything okay?”
Fiona nodded and took a long drink of her cold water to help calm her down. Jax and Risa had their own history with Sal, so they’d understand. Even though Jax was now retired from the navy he still worked on base as a NCIS—Naval Criminal Investigative Service—agent and ran into her ex on occasions. She really didn’t need to fan the flame that smoldered every time the two of them met with her situation.
The guys called Jax down to help even up the number in the game and after a second look at Fiona he left.
“What did the fu… excuse me, your ex do now?” Risa tried to watch her language around Fiona’s parents, and especially now that she was a mom, but she knew her friend didn’t even realize half the time what was coming out of her mouth. That she’d caught herself before she let loose with her favorite nickname of Sal—Fucknuggets—was impressive.
“Supposedly, Dante is a danger to Dylan. As if I’d ever do anything to endanger my son. I’d give my life for him.”
“Of course you would,” Risa said.
“Honey, your mom wasn’t suggesting otherwise.” Dad took Mom’s hand and kissed it.
“Fiona, I never—”
“Yes, Mom, you did. You called me as soon as you found out from Sal I was seeing Dante and insisted on meeting him. Maybe consciously you didn’t think I was dating a jerk, but deep down you believed Sal.”
“Honey, if that’s how it came across, I am so sorry. I didn’t ask to meet Dante because of what Sal said. I was excited you were dating someone. It’s been so long and if it was serious enough f
or Dylan to meet him and Sal, then I wanted to meet him, too.”
Her mom’s voice was laced with love and concern. Guilt pressed down on her for jumping to conclusions. Of course her mom would be curious and want to meet Dante. She’d never been a fan of Sal’s, but she was very protective of her family.
“No, I’m sorry, Mom. You’re right. It was time for you all to meet. Sal’s just been a bit more of a pain than usual lately. Guess he’s got me on the defense.”
“Prick,” Risa muttered under her breath, but not so low that Mom hadn’t heard and raised one brow to let her know.
“What’s his problem now?” Dad’s jaw clamped down, the vein in his neck pulsed, as he tried to play off his agitation but the way he twisted his fingers gave him away. Dad was ready to break out Mom’s shovels.
Not surprising given her history with Sal.
Risa leaned over and hugged her dad, whispering, “I’ll help you dig the grave, Pops.”
“Risa,” Mom admonished.
“Just kidding. Sort of.”
“It’s nothing, I can’t handle, Dad, but thank you.” She didn’t want to tell them Sal threatened her with an amended parenting plan until after she’d had a chance to talk to a lawyer. If she could come up with the money to hire one.
“I can tell you a few reasons he doesn’t like Dante,” Risa said. “Jax told me all about him from their time together. Dante’s one of the good guys. Seriously, like romance novel hero type. He puts other people first, excels at his job, and doesn’t brag about himself. He’s the total opposite of Sal. And now he has you.”
Dad grumbled something before joining the other men in the yard. Mom patted his knee.
“Risa’s got a point, hon. Sal may have been the one who walked away, but this is the first time you’ve ever shown him that you’re fully over him. And let’s face it, that man is like a two-year-old with a toy. He may not want to play with it anymore, but he doesn’t want anyone else to, either.”
Mom walked into the house after depositing a sleeping baby into Risa’s arms, probably to supervise Amber over dessert prep, and left Fiona and Risa with their mouths hanging open. While Mom wasn’t a fan of Sal’s, she’d never said much against him either, probably out of respect for Dylan. Fiona hadn’t put much thought into her ex-husband’s motives, other than crediting him for being a jerk. Still, why should he care that she’d moved on? He had Mia and from the bits and pieces she’d gathered from Dylan, the two of them were happy together.
Another thought hit her. “Ris, do you think Sal feels threatened by Dante? Not so much that he’s losing me, but that he might lose Dylan?”
Risa didn’t answer right away; instead she studied the action in the yard. The guys were still playing football with the teams split up of kids against adults. Her dad stood off to the side, presumably as the referee. Dylan was taunting Dante, just like the twins did with the others. Listening to them, you’d never know Dante wasn’t his father.
The realization hit her smack between the brows. Pressure built in her chest as she failed to breathe. The world around her went silent. It wasn’t so much from seeing how easy the two of them were with each other, it was from the fact that she wished Dante were Dylan’s father.
“I think you answered your own question, love.” Risa scooted her chair closer, reached out and gave her a one-arm hug as best as she could with the baby in her lap. “Breathe, Fee. There are worse things than falling in love with a guy like Dante.”
Slowly Fiona turned her head to look at her best friend. “I’m not in love with him.”
“Oh, bollocks. It’s written all over your face.”
“Is not,” she protested.
“Fiona, love. I’ve known you were stuck on him since that first day.”
No. She refused to admit to such a foolish folly. It was way too soon for her to fall in love. She refused to be in love. Lust? Oh, yeah. She’d totally fess up to lusting after Dante. And there was no denying she liked him, like really liked him a lot. But love?
No.
Love brought heartache and disappointment.
Love made you vulnerable and at someone else’s mercy.
But that wasn’t true either, not completely, because Dante wasn’t Sal. Dante was honorable, dedicated, kind, compassionate, and as Risa said, the kind of hero who belonged in a romance novel. The kind of man who did the right thing, looked out for the underdog, and took care of people.
With Dante love would be so very different than it had been before. Still. It was early in their relationship. They were still getting to know each other, to learn each other’s quirks and likes and dislikes. They were learning what made the other laugh, and well, for him, what made her cry. She was learning he was a strong shelter in a fierce storm and someone who could be counted on, that he made her laugh, and remember her own inner strength.
Yes, it was still early, but she knew she hated the hours without him around. She looked forward to her morning class where she’d see his smile first thing in the day, and their afternoon sessions where he’d tease her and make her body hum with just one look. She missed him when he walked out the door and he was never far from her thoughts.
But did that mean she loved him?
Maybe… a little.
And that wasn’t so scary to admit—to herself—after all.
Maybe someday she’d admit it out loud.
But for today, she just smiled at her best friend and said, “Maybe.”
Chapter 15
Dante kicked back on the exam table waiting for the doc to arrive. He closed his eyes in the hopes sleep would sweep over him, but as usual the asshat evaded him. When was the last time he’d clocked in a solid eight hours of shuteye? A week? Two weeks? He’d lost track, all he knew at this point was he was damn tired.
The door opened and closed. Dante didn’t bother to open his eyes.
“How are you doing today, Lieutenant Torres?” Dr. Salazar asked.
“Great. Just thought I’d stop in, say hi, see how the wife and kids are. Are you even married?” Not that Dante cared, nor did he care that he was being a jerk right then.
“Yep, I am and they’re doing good. Better than you I’d say by your tone. More nightmares keeping you up?”
He sat partway up. “When I do actually get to sleep, they’re there. More often I toss and turn or lay there lost in a fog.”
While he talked the doctor brought up his chart on the computer, scrolled through page after page of information before he stopped and started typing. “Are your hands still shaking?”
He breathed out and lay back down. “Still happening. The breathing techniques I learned help the shakes.”
“What else is going on? Are you disinterested in what’s going on around you?”
“Only when Skip Thomlison is talking.” Dante smirked.
“What about feeling on guard or edgy? Any problem with being in a crowd?”
“Not so much. I don’t go around triple checking the locks, but I pay attention to my surroundings. Crowds have never been my thing, but I’m not freaked by being in one if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I am and that’s good. What would you say is your biggest problem?”
“Right this minute?” Dante rubbed his thumb and forefinger across his eyes. “Tired as fuck. Having more moments stolen from me than I’ve been present for, and I could pass as the paint shaker at a home improvement store.”
“At least you haven’t lost your sense of humor.” The doc stopped typing and looked up at him.
“At this point, Doc, it and my good looks are all I’ve got going for me.”
Dr. Salazar made a few more notes on the computer and then ran him through a few more questions and the normal physical. At this point, after seeing so many doctors in the past year, Dante could have given himself the exam.
Dr. Salaz
ar stepped back and draped his stethoscope around his neck. “All your vitals look good. Blood pressure is a little high, but that could be because you’re agitated or from the medicine we’ve got you on. It’s nothing to worry about yet.”
Great. One. More. Fucking. Thing.
“I’m going to adjust your current prescriptions, and give you another that should help you sleep.” He held up his hand to stop Dante’s protest. Sad when the doc knows you that well. “It’s a mild dose, so it shouldn’t knock you out. I want you back in next week. In the meantime, I’m ordering an MRI. It’s been a while since the last one so, we’re due.”
A while? It’d been a month. Granted with the way his symptoms had increased lately, he wouldn’t be surprised to hear… No, he refused to go there. What was that saying his mom loved? No sense borrowing trouble before it arrived on your doorstep. Dante kept his mouth shut. Besides, without the test results he knew Dr. Salazar would give him nothing, not to mention it wouldn’t stop him from stressing.
* * * *
Dylan shot up out of the water, shaking his head to send droplets flying out to beam both Dante and Fiona in the face. “What was my time?”
“Oh, that was at least an hour.” Dante smiled up at Fiona who was sitting on one of the lounge chairs watching. “Wouldn’t you say so, Mom?”
“Nah, it was only forty-five minutes. Good job, baby.”
“Mom, that’s horrible. My best time was forty-five seconds.” Dylan rolled his eyes and scowled at the two of them.
“Relax, Ace.” Dante clamped his hand down on Dylan’s shoulder and turned him around to face the far end of the pool. “You shaved a few seconds off that time and finished in forty-two seconds.”
Dylan’s shoulders dropped. “That’s still not fast enough. Chris said his best time was twenty-five seconds. He’s going to cream me.” He headed toward the steps. “I’m going to take my name off the list.”
Disarmed by Love Page 19
