“It’s about time you all faced up to the fact she’s gone,” Opa said bitterly before speeding up to speak to Jeremy alone.
Nathan and Byron exchanged glances that seemed to say they knew what the other was thinking. Walking between them, I was left out, yet again.
The tension only increased at home. The people, our neighbours, all wanted to nose about and see how we lived. And we put ourselves on show. For what? I had no idea. I didn’t have much time to consider it because Opa demanded an audience with all of us, including Perdita. It was clear to me how much he had changed. Byron looked as though he could barely contain himself, but he said and did nothing. A part of me shriveled up inside, because I didn’t recognise my grandfather anymore. I had hoped Byron would fix things and make everything go back to normal, but perhaps that wasn’t possible.
Byron kept quiet, even as Opa acted like a stranger and insulted people. Only Nathan spoke up, which got us kicked out of the not so happy reunion. We didn’t learn anything except the fact that Jeremy had been in Turkey. Oh, and Opa had somehow had his body possessed. At least I hoped that was the reason he was acting so coldly toward us.
The cause of Nathan’s bad mood soon revealed itself. He’d gotten into his head that Jeremy was some kind of cradle-snatching pervert who had set his heart on Perdita. Jeremy laughed it off, but he had been staring at Perdita. I knew why, and the reason was not because he wanted her for himself. No, everyone wanted to see the one who had stepped up and taken action in the face of danger. She was the heroine of the piece, the one who hadn’t fallen apart at the seams.
So when he made fun of her, I laughed. And I wasn’t ashamed. I wanted someone else to know how it felt to be seen as the helpless little girl for a change.
The conversation bored me, or so I pretended. I couldn’t bear listening to Nathan and Jeremy go on and on about how freaking awesome it was to be a werewolf. Up until recently, becoming a werewolf was that one thing out of my grasp that I’d desperately wanted, but not anymore, not since I saw firsthand what werewolves were capable of doing. I wasn’t part of the gang, so I dragged Perdita away, though the others seemed to barely notice.
I tried to make conversation with her, but she was so on edge that her nerves played on mine, until I had to hang out with her family to calm down.
“Hey, Mrs. Rivers. Oh, wait, that’s wrong. Isn’t it?”
Perdita’s grandmother grinned at me. “It’s Mrs. Devlin, actually. But you can call me Ruth.”
“Can I get you a drink or food or anything?”
“No, but thank you. This has been a really lovely day, Amelia. I’m sure your grandmother would be very proud of the way you’ve handled yourself today. She certainly made sure you were brought up well.”
Her words were meaningless platitudes, but I had to look away to wipe the tear from my eye. I felt relaxed being around people who had no idea werewolves existed. Perdita was paranoid all of the time, and then there was the guilt. How I wished she would get over the whole murder issue. I was frustrated watching her suffer at her own hands. After all, she took down the bad guy. Wasn’t that how the story was supposed to end? Weren’t we supposed to get some kind of happy ever after?
Um, no.
Maybe the lies hadn’t ended. I glared at my grandfather who spoke to Perdita. How did I know they were keeping me up to date on what was going on? I was Amelia, the afterthought or the kid who had to be wrapped up in cotton wool. Take your pick. I wanted to feel something other than regret or loneliness. I wanted to know if I should be afraid or not. Byron kept reassuring me, but I was aware that he never left me alone. My entire world had changed, and I didn’t know how to move on from that. Apparently, neither did Perdita.
I watched her from afar as she fidgeted at her bracelet and twisted her hair, her eyes darting from side to side as if an attack would come at any second. The girl was a nervous wreck, which made her almost impossible to be around.
Not that I could talk. I was as angry as Nathan. A growing aggression snaked around my body, suffocated me with its intensity, and squeezed the happiness from me. I wanted to scream, and make someone listen so I could demand answers. I was the kid nobody was paying attention to, and I could only hear answers they felt I should hear. That sucked.
Ruth tensed next to me. “What on earth is your grandfather doing?”
Coming back to earth, I watched him grip Perdita’s arm while she twisted to get away.
I had no idea what was going on—as usual—but I had a feeling I needed to distract Ruth. Words, though, wouldn’t rise to my lips. Once again, I was ineffective when needed, the story of my life.
Perdita ran off, shouting something, and my grandfather followed her with a creepy smile on his face. Ruth frowned at me, but before she could speak, the screaming started. For a second, I froze.
“Perdy,” Ruth choked out.
“I… I’ll check on her,” I stuttered, then saw the shock and confusion on the faces of the people around me. Some of them ran outside in the directions of the screams, and I followed. Blood spread in a pool on the ground, and Perdita screamed at my grandfather.
My mouth watered.
Horrified, I held my breath, but I was still affected. I could almost taste the tang of blood on my tongue. I knew Perdita would never forgive me because her father lay on the ground, so badly injured from a werewolf attack that he couldn’t get back up. She caught my eye. She was so angry, and I did nothing because I could have sworn she saw the guilt in my eyes.
Everything happened in a mad rush after that. People ran around, their voices confused and frightened as they discussed wild dogs. The ambulance and police showed up. Nathan’s pupils dilated rapidly as his wolf fought for control. Byron finally sent him indoors. I couldn’t handle much more of the chaos and tension.
Everything that was happening was my fault. The werewolves had come for me in the first place. Also, I had wished ill will on Perdita. My wish had come through in ways I had never wanted.
“Opa! What’s happening?” I asked, relief flooding through me at the sight of him striding toward me. He would fix everything.
“Not now.” He literally pushed me aside.
I searched the house for Nathan, but I found him in a rage, and his anger terrified me enough to send me running away from him. I sobbed as I curled up on the sofa, but Jeremy ignored me, his stance tense as he waited for everyone to leave. Even Nathan didn’t say a word when he finally came downstairs. And then we all gathered together, the entire family. I watched their faces and saw the hate, distrust and betrayal. I was so confused. Opa made it sound as if he’d wanted the female wolf, who had stalked Perdita for months, to attack her dad, but that couldn’t be true. No matter what had happened, I couldn’t believe my Opa would ever want another person to be hurt for any reason. So why did he order Nathan to stay away from Perdita?
I knew I couldn’t face her. She would see the guilt in my eyes and sense the things I had done to wrong her. I had wished her pain. I had wanted to taste the blood. Some instinct deep inside me had longed for it. What was I turning into?
I hated myself.
Nathan ran off, and I was sent out of the room as if I were a child. I hung around outside the room and listened in on Opa’s conversation, but I wished I hadn’t. His explanations only made everything worse.
“None of this makes sense,” Byron said. “Why would you allow them to attack us if you knew they would come? Why wouldn’t you warn us? Ensure that we kept people away from the house?”
“They need to think we’re distracted by today. That we’re easy to get to,” Opa replied earnestly.
“And at least we know they’re around now,” Jeremy added.
“If you thought she’d come for him, then why allow him to be here at all? Why did anyone have to get hurt? Have you any idea how much more complicated this makes life here for us? All eyes are on us. We can’t make a move.” Byron sounded furious.
“We won’t be sticking around after th
is,” Opa said. I gasped. I didn’t want to move. Not again. Opa must have heard me because he rushed from the room to confront me.
“What are you doing?” he shouted.
“I… nothing. I’m waiting for Nathan,” I stuttered, for the first time in my life truly afraid of my grandfather. He made the most of his height, inching toward me menacingly as if I were the enemy.
“Get upstairs.” The growl rumbled in his throat, and a shiver of something new ran through me. As if compelled, I turned around and ran straight upstairs. I couldn’t stop myself. I hid in my bedroom until Nathan returned to his own room. I listened to him pace, and I flinched as something was flung at the wall and landed with a loud thud.
I worked up the courage to knock on Nathan’s bedroom door so I could get all my concerns off my chest, but when he let me in, I couldn’t find the right words. I made it worse for both of us.
He asked me to go see Perdita because Opa had used an alpha order to keep him away from her, but I couldn’t say yes. I hadn’t even really believed Nathan would obey that particular rule until I found myself moving unwillingly at Opa’s command. I knew I made Nathan hate me by refusing to go and visit Perdita on his behalf, but how could I possibly face her again? He was so angry… angrier than I had ever seen him before. I didn’t want to discuss it, so I took the only way out. I cried and ran away.
Opa called us all together for dinner later on, which was more awkward than ever. Nathan and Jeremy left soon afterwards, while Byron and Opa holed themselves up in Byron’s office, leaving me alone.
I used the spirit board again. I couldn’t help myself. There was nothing else for me to do, and I felt as though my skin couldn’t contain me. I might explode for want of doing something. The presence stayed for a couple of minutes, but only repeated the same couple of sentences.
He will use you. He will sacrifice you.
***
Kali
“Take Dog with you,” her father called out after her. “The locals are getting twitchy. They’ll think twice with the mutt.” Drina’s husband had forbidden her from going into town for a while, which left Kali alone every day, apart from Dog. In a way, she was glad because Drina’s presence might scare off her protector. Besides, Dog was good company.
Dog was a large wolfhound, given to her father as payment when he provided a fertility potion that led to a healthy set of twins. The dog was good for hunting, which gave him value, but he had a large stomach which negated his value. Her father had decided Dog might be of use as a guard dog, if the need arose.
Kali knew Dog was harmless—loyal and protective—but ultimately harmless. Drina had relayed how her husband warned their father that Kali needed protection, and Dog was his solution. She wondered exactly how many days would pass before her father needed Dog more than he needed her to be safe.
The locals were abrupt with her that day, maybe because of the dog or because of the rumours that suddenly abounded. The negative effect on her business didn’t matter to her, but it mattered to her father, which was why she had some additional tricks up her sleeves. She enticed some young girls with promises of spells and potions, and by the end of the day, her basket was overflowing with trades.
On the way home, she saw Marusya’s husband again, this time waiting on the grassy edge of the track. He stared up at her as she approached, and again, she ignored the shivers that ran through her. She passed him, and he followed her, again. She realised how disappointed she would have been if he didn’t.
She ventured a glance behind her. Their eyes met, but since he said not a word, she kept walking.
Men were trouble, this one especially. The men back at camp wanted to use her to raise their station and to father the guardian wolves. They had no love for her, only a need for glory and riches. Her father especially used her more than anyone. If a father could do that, then who knew what a husband would do? Drina’s new clan didn’t really care what happened to Kali. She sometimes wished they would forget all about her, so she could slip away in the night, except her face was too well known, and her hands bore too much value.
If only she had been daughter number six. No more responsibilities aside from the ordinary ones. She could have left, and maybe even settled down with one of the gaje, if the right one had come along, the right unmarried one.
She couldn’t help glancing back at him one last time before she made it to camp. His blue eyes shone from his sunburned face, and his bulky arms were tanned almost as dark as herself. Her stomach seemed to whirl around inside her whenever he was close by. His expression was not unlike hers.
There lay the danger.
She couldn’t look at him through the same cynical eyes she observed everyone else. She couldn’t see him as one who would use her. He wasn’t anything like the men around her. She knew, somehow with certainty, that this was a man who didn’t need her for what she could earn. He needed something, though. That was painfully clear.
Her pouch was ripped from her waist by her father as soon as she stepped into camp. He ordered away the dog.
“More tomorrow,” was all her father growled.
Drina greeted her with a lot more love, gazing with interest in the basket, but her face looked pinched. The black bags under her eyes were more noticeable than before.
Kali rested a hand on Drina’s swollen belly. “Heavy?”
Drina nodded with a weary smile. “Today’s not been easy.”
“I can make something for you.”
“Thank you. My big, skulking man over there wants to know if you had any trouble today.”
“And yet our father doesn’t care either way.” Kali couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice.
“Now, now. You know better than that,” Drina chided, but she cupped Kali’s cheek with her hand. “Try to be happy with your lot, my sister. I keep telling you it’s easier if you accept it.”
Kali’s smile was weak. If only it were that easy.
Something inside her was more than willing to fight tooth and nail against her destiny.
Chapter Seven
Amelia
I didn’t get up for school the following day. Nobody asked why. They were all too busy making plans to hunt and track enemy werewolves. For the first time in ages I was free. Nobody was forced to babysit me, and I wasn’t told to stay indoors. I should have felt relieved, but mostly, I felt forgotten.
The day before, Nathan had asked me to find out what was happening with Perdita’s dad, but nobody I texted knew anything. No news was scary. When I thought about Perdita, and how awful she must have been feeling, my guilt multiplied.
I kept remembering the way my mouth had watered at her father’s blood, which pretty much devastated me. I couldn’t tell a soul about it because I was afraid they wouldn’t understand. Nobody in my family had ever mentioned anything like that happening to them before they turned, so I couldn’t even blame my desire for blood on the whole werewolf thing. After all, there wasn’t any real reason it would happen to me. Only the men in my family were meant to turn into werewolves.
I moved downstairs to get better reception on my phone when I overheard my grandfather whispering to Jeremy while Byron and Nathan waited outside.
“Don’t let him near her,” he said.
“Don’t you think—”
“I mean it, Jeremy. This isn’t the time. I want her lured in again, but next time with her companions by her side. That won’t be possible if he chases her away.”
Remembering how Opa had acted the last time he caught me listening, I slipped upstairs quietly, needing some space to think.
After a couple of minutes, I heard the front door slam, and I watched out the window as the trio ran off.
Nathan was right about Opa. He couldn’t be trusted any more. My dreams were pretty much a lesson about not trusting the men in charge, and now why I shouldn’t trust them was all coming to life for me. My head pounded again, but I knew I had to confront Opa. If he was willing to use Perdita and her dad a
s bait, then what would he do with me?
Plucking up the courage, I went back downstairs and walked straight into Opa’s office without knocking. Opa looked confused, but he didn’t kick me out.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed. “I’m doing what has to be done.”
“And does that include using me as bait?”
“What are you talking about?”
“If you think the werewolves are after me, are you going to use me to lure them in?”
A flicker of regret crossed his face, and that broke me completely. All of my suspicions were coming true. He didn’t even deny he wanted to use me as bait.
“At least I know,” I squeaked before running back upstairs again. I pulled out the spirit board, desperate to connect with someone, anyone, but no spirit answered. Frustrated, I kicked it away from me and leaned against the foot of my bed. I had nowhere to turn and no one I could trust. The walls might as well have closed in on me; I felt so confined in my room, wishing I could be outside looking up at Kali’s stars. I wandered around the house, trying to find a spot I could breathe, but even the garden felt as though it were a cage.
When Nathan returned, he appeared more stressed than when he left.
“Anything?” I asked when he joined me in the living room.
“No news. You hear anything?”
“Nobody knows anything yet.”
He looked so broken, so desperate, that my heart panged for him, and I knew I couldn’t tell him what I had overheard. The knowledge would shatter everything he believed in, if even I confirmed the worst about Opa. I had to let him have some hope.
“You could go to the hospital,” he said, but it sounded as though he were on autopilot.
“She won’t want me there.” I wished he understood, but I could never tell him how I had reacted when her dad was hurt. He would never forgive me. He would never understand.
Adversity (Cursed #2.5) Page 6
