The cup moved rapidly, sliding across the board without slowing.
Seventh daughter of seventh daughter.
The pain shot through me yet again.
Broke the line.
The windows rattled in their frames.
Change.
“I get it,” I said. “It’s like the dream. I have to accept the path. If I say yes, then it’s done? It’s over?”
Yes.
“I’ll do it. I say yes.”
“Amelia, what the hell is going on?”
I ignored Perdita’s panic. The candles all blew out. The windows opened then slammed themselves shut, but I could see nothing except for that essence Kali had talked about. I expected it to be black, and dark, and evil, but it was pure white. It swirled around me, filling me with memories of my family and my ancestors. Of Kali. It consumed me, and I consumed it. I knew nothing would ever be the same again.
I flew along a river full of bones. It blackened and bubbled with thick, dark blood. This was my poisoned heritage. Wasted ancestors. Wasted promise. I could stop it from ever happening again. I could protect my family from the madness that I knew was true. I saw it in my own grandfather’s eyes, after all. Kali was right, and I thought I saw her in the distance, beckoning me.
My body drifted toward her, and the river seemed to clear. There was peace in her eyes, and the madness I saw there earlier had left. I nodded at her, hoping she was finally free.
“It’s time,” she said, and a wrenching pain lifted me off my feet.
I was back in my room, crawling on the floor, Cú growling at me. I heaved, but my mouth seemed to change, to lengthen and misalign. I felt every bone in my body break, felt my lungs constrict, and my heart give out.
Blindly, I gazed for help, trying to speak, but nothing came out save for a growl. Then I understood and panicked. I was wolf, and I wasn’t ready.
Wolf took over, scenting human. Wolf was starving because I hadn’t eaten in so long. Wolf found a target and ran out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out of the house. Cú got in our way, and wolf attacked, flinging the dog to the side. Inside I wept, but I couldn’t take over. I couldn’t find the strength to tame wolf. It was terrifying and exhilarating, and as Cú limped after the rest of the dogs, wolf only felt excitement in the chase.
But dogs weren’t the best targets, and that familiar human scent still stung my nostrils. I could scent my best friend, but even I couldn’t stop wolf from wanting to tear out her throat. I screamed in my head as wolf raced straight for Perdita. Wolf completely ignored the horrified stares of my family.
Perdita dropped to the ground, as did Nathan, and too late, I realised what was happening. I finally did it. I finally ended the curse, and now they were feeling the break. The pain of their loss was destroying them.
Wolf didn’t care.
Wolf raced on four legs, faster than I ever dreamed possible, and leapt to catch our kill. My jaws snapped empty air as our prey was snatched from our grasp at the last second. Snarling, I spun around, almost falling, as wolf decided to try again. I begged wolf to stop, but wolf was in charge.
We charged, but a figure—a werewolf—threw Perdita out of reach and kicked us. His strength was awesome, and he sent us flying backward. Cú tried to protect Perdita again, but his attempt was pathetic compared to wolf’s strength. Wolf would put him out of his misery.
Then, Byron pounced on me, pinning me under him as his strength outmatched my wolf’s. Wolf was only distracted from our prey by the scent of enemy in the distance. Strange werewolves were watching us, and I realised the danger. They knew, or at least had an idea that everything had changed.
Chapter Seventeen
“Calm down!” Jeremy’s hands pinned me down until only grass and muck filled my eye line. They had taken turns trying to control me, but wolf refused to bow for any of them. Byron snarled as he stood over me, but he ran off as soon as my grandfather took over. Heaving, I stopped struggling as my wolf eventually succumbed to the others.
They lifted me, and as they carried me away my line of sight changed. I saw Nathan on the ground next to Cú, and Byron lying next to him. Even my wolf gave a little whimper at the sight of them.
Jeremy and Opa carried me into the shed and threw clothes in after me, locking the door behind them. Wolf and I paced in agitation, and I could sense her taking some of the pain from me, shouldering more than her fair share of the headaches. But she wouldn’t let me go. She wouldn’t allow me to be back in charge. I struggled to think of a way to control wolf. Would I be like this forever?
The door opened, and my grandfather filled the doorway, meat in his hands. The raw steak made my mouth water, and wolf made a snuffling sound, knowing he would give if we obeyed. He laid the food on the ground in slow, careful movements, but he eyed us warily.
“You’ll be fine once she’s fed,” he said before closing the door behind him. We howled, and I could smell him outside still. A growling sound startled me, but I soon realised it was my stomach—our stomach—making the noise. We sniffed the air curiously, and the scent of raw meat caught our attention.
A piece of me felt repulsed when we pulled a chunk of meat into our mouth, but that piece was quashed by the sheer need wolf had to eat. To consume. To heal. We were hurting for lack of food, and as soon as the meat was gone, we felt better. The relief was astounding. For the first time in weeks, the pain in my head subsided. What the hell? Headaches from lack of food? Or lack of raw meat. Wolf didn’t share my shudders of disgust.
Satiated, she relaxed, allowing me back in full control again. I closed my eyes and wished to be human again. Nothing happened. Frustrated, I snarled, and the door opened immediately.
Opa.
I whined at him and pawed the ground, trying to make him understand. I was stuck. I had no idea what I was doing. He cocked his head to the side before approaching, still cautious. He reached out his hand, and I flinched. He made a shushing sound before grabbing a fistful of my hair. No, my fur.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Let go. She’s part of you. Work with her. Worrying will make it harder. Panicking will hold you hostage.”
He sat down, still gripping my fur. It didn’t hurt, but it felt uncomfortable. He was making sure I couldn’t run… or attack. With his other hand, he stroked my head as if to calm me. A memory hit me. After the death of my parents, Nathan and I had been sent to live with my grandparents. For months, I was afraid of the dark. Opa would pet my hair to help me sleep, telling me stories in a low, soothing voice that made it impossible to stay awake until the end of the tale.
“Don’t resist it when the change comes, or it will hurt more. Try to clear your mind. Take deep breaths, and distract yourself by picking something outside of you to focus on. It will be a natural transition soon. I’ll be outside. I’ll wait for you.”
The urge to roll over on my back almost killed me. No way. No freaking way was I acting like a puppy in front of him. He left me then, looking almost proud, and I was alone again. Even wolf had quietened. All I had to do was calm down.
I lay down, my brand new snout between my brand new paws, and closed my eyes. I listened instead, and the entire world opened up. I could hear, really hear, for the first time. My grandfather’s heartbeat outside. Someone coughing nearer the house. Rustling in the undergrowth next to the shed. Being able to hear the smallest sounds was all kinds of awesome. I wanted more.
I howled as loudly as I could, feeling a release of tension with the sound. Wolf grew excited, but I was behind the wheel. No way was I letting her drive again. Opa opened the door, and I pounced, knocking him down and leaping right over him.
I stretched my legs into the fastest sprint I had ever experienced, the wind running through my fur, and that’s when I felt it. Freedom. It was worth the pain. A wolf barked to my right, and I swerved to avoid it, giggling inside as I realised it couldn’t keep up. I bounded in circles, twisting my body to keep out of the way of Opa and now Jeremy, too. I heard Jere
my’s grunt of frustration at my speed and sensed his infuriation at being outdone by me, a newbie wolf. Oh, that felt great.
Eventually, I began to wheeze and slow down. I flopped to the ground and rolled in the grass, feeling everything as though I had grown a billion new nerve endings. The others kept their distance, still trying to figure out if I intended to murder anyone. But I was done. I trotted back to the shed, nudged the door a little to give me some privacy, and lay down, still panting heavily.
I imagined wolf to be a coat and pictured myself unzipping the wildness and shrugging her off. She was still there, but I would choose when to wear her. I closed my eyes and felt my bones twitch. I panicked and everything stopped immediately, but I knew I had to go through with it or the change would get harder and harder to deal with. I didn’t want to be taken unawares ever again.
My body shifted and twisted, the cracking sounds making me flinch more than the actual aching of change. It was over within minutes, and I, in human form, got to my feet, a little unsteady, but okay. I dressed and headed outside, a little smug at how well I had done.
And then the nausea hit. I fell to my knees and retched, my stomach completely emptying itself. Laughter rang in my ears, but I couldn’t look up. With streaming eyes and an aching belly, I felt wretched.
“Serves you right,” Jeremy said. “After all of that showing off you did earlier.”
“You’ll get used to this part,” Opa said reassuringly, but I noticed neither of them came any closer to me.
“I’m dying,” I said, spitting the last of the vile taste out of my mouth.
“You’re not dying. We all go through this.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” I straightened, and the world seemed more vivid than before. “Wow. Is this what it’s always like? Everything looks so different.”
“I remember that,” Jeremy said. “It’s a kick, right?”
My sense of smell wasn’t as good, but it was still better than before everything changed.
“The werewolves are gone.” I remembered the more important event. I had barely missed the battle.
“They ran, but not before they caught a good glimpse of the newest member of the pack,” Opa said a little proudly.
“And Nathan?” I said, leaving the question unasked.
They exchanged glances. Opa ran his hands through his hair, suddenly agitated. “He’ll get over it. Soon enough.”
“Is it… is it bad?”
“He’s hurting.”
“Is Cú okay?” I bit my lip, praying I hadn’t killed him.
“Well, we’ll have to take him to the vet and try to explain how he got mauled by a wolf, but he’ll be fine. How are you feeling?”
I shrugged, gazing at the house. “I don’t know. Different, and yet… the same. I feel as if I was always this way, but my nature was… hidden under the surface.”
Both of them looked confused, and I knew they didn’t understand, but to me, everything made sense. I was born to be wolf. Wolf had always existed; I just hadn’t let her out yet. When Kali had given me her essence, I was so distracted that wolf had taken her chance to break free.
Now we were all free. Nathan, Perdita, and the rest of us. We weren’t cursed anymore. We weren’t destined for pain and loss. But as soon as I saw Nathan’s face, I knew he wouldn’t see it that way. The word pain wasn’t enough to describe everything he was feeling. Byron sat next to him, and they looked almost like father and son.
“We need to figure out what to do next,” Jeremy said.
“Wait!” I exclaimed. Everyone looked at me, and I gulped. “I have to explain… to tell you all what’s been happening. The story about the curse… what we know… it’s all wrong.”
“That makes no sense,” Opa said. “And we don’t have time for this right now.”
“Hear me out. Those dreams I’ve been having. They’re all real. They’ve been about a real gypsy girl.”
“The one who cursed us?” Byron suddenly sounded interested.
“No. The one who mothered us.” I shook my head in frustration at their disbelief. “She was becoming the gypsy version of a witch, but she was born the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. That meant she would be the wolf mother, and that she would breed werewolves to protect her people. No interrupting!” I snapped at Jeremy. “So anyway, she had this big destiny, but her dad was all evil and stuff, and she fell in love and ran away and had a baby—the first one of us—but then her dad found her and cursed us. She cursed his people and made it so that the curse would end when a girl was born, but he killed her. And because of the black magic she used, and because she didn’t get the chance to pass on her power, she was stuck, watching us suffer.”
They stared at me in silence.
“Don’t you get it? We weren’t cursed to be werewolves. That’s in our blood. But they cursed us to be hunted down and to lose loved ones, and…” I gulped. “And to be infected with a kind of madness when we did lose people.” I shifted awkwardly.
“Why now?” Nathan croaked, his eyes on me. “Why did the curse stop now?”
Oh, crap. “Well… she asked me to allow her to pass her essence on to me. She said that would end the curse. So I said yes. And it—”
“Why would you do that to us?” he said, his voice low and cruel. “Why wouldn’t you even let me say goodbye first? Why would you risk hurting Perdita?”
“I didn’t… I didn’t know it was going to happen right then that second. I’m not psychic. And I knew you’d freak out about it. You’ve been acting crazy lately, saying you don’t want it to end. It has to end, or she’ll die. Don’t you understand that?”
“I understand!” he roared. “But you didn’t give me a chance to deal with it. To even tell her what would happen. Now what am I supposed to do?”
“Talk to her,” I said slowly. “The only thing that’s changed is her dying too soon. The curse is over.” Was he being stupid on purpose?
“Why would she want to talk to me? Her dad was attacked. She probably feels as though she’s been stabbed, and my own sister tried to eat her while the rest of us stood around like idiots!” He was shouting, and the veins on his neck popped out disturbingly. Byron held him close and whispered to him while Opa pulled me outside.
“Give him some space while he’s acting this way,” he said. “He’s not thinking straight.”
“You understand, though, right? I had no choice.”
“You had a choice. But you made the right decision,” he said.
“He hates me.” I thought I was fixing everything. I thought my family would love me for it. But instead we were all miserable.
“He hates the curse. He always has. He’s never come to terms with himself. Now he has to face up to the fact that his other side isn’t a curse; it’s a natural part of him.”
“What about Perdita?”
He hesitated, conflicting emotions crossing his face. “It would be safer to keep her away from us. She has no way to defend herself, and more werewolves will come. Of that, I’m certain. This could be her way out of danger.”
“I have to talk to her.”
“Maybe. But today we must figure out our next move. You remember what you did, don’t you? You tried to attack your best friend. We have to help you control your wolf so that kind of thing never happens again. First, you must eat. When the wolf is hungry, we become agitated and angry.”
He made me some food and sat with me while I ate. Jeremy joined us, closely followed by Ryan. The red werewolf seemed smaller somehow, less fierce than the time he had been part of the pack that attacked us. He nodded at me, but his eyes were curious.
“I followed the girl home,” Ryan said. “No signs that any of the other wolves followed. She’s in pain, but you’ll be doing her and Nathan both a favour if you keep her out of the way. You realise that was merely a battle. There is still the war to be won.”
Opa smiled, and again, I saw in his eyes that madness Kali had told me about. The cu
rse hadn’t ended everything.
“I’m counting on the war. We’ve challenged Vin. He has no choice but to respond. And we have yet another werewolf on our side,” he said proudly, gesturing to me.
“You expect me to fight?” I blurted in shock.
“You want us to win?” he replied sharply.
“I don’t… I don’t know how to make her listen to me.” Panic swelled at the idea of letting wolf run loose.
“I could help,” Ryan said, “with controlling the urges.” His face paled, and I wondered what he had gone through when he first turned. “But I think it would be worth exploring teaming up with lone wolves in case the war is bigger than you expect.”
“I’ll go,” Jeremy said immediately. “I could take Willow. She might be useful.”
Ryan glowered at the idea of being separated from his pack mate. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I would join them if it made you more comfortable with the idea. That’s the most pressing issue right now.”
I gaped at my grandfather. “I think me trying to kill people is a pretty pressing issue, Opa.”
“Ryan already offered to assist you with that. The sooner we deal with Vin, the safer we’ll all be.”
I couldn’t argue with him. It was becoming urgent that we get Vin off our backs, once and for all. Maybe with the curse ending, his pack would be less inclined to hate us.
“I’ll go, too,” Nathan said from the doorway.
“Are you… fit enough?” Jeremy asked.
“I’ll deal with it.” The coldness in Nathan’s voice scared me. Did he succumb to the curse after all? Had I brought the madness to my own brother?
“What are you going to tell Perdita?” I asked, regretting it immediately.
“You’ve all already decided you don’t want me near her, so I won’t go there. But don’t expect me to be part of this family when all of this is over.”
He hated me. I knew it. He stormed out of the room, leaving only tension behind him.
“He’s never going to forgive me.” I looked to my grandfather for guidance, but his mind had obviously already moved on to other more “pressing issues.”
Adversity (Cursed #2.5) Page 15
