ONLY A KISS
by
Ines Bautista Yao
To Addie and Tammy
CONTENTS
Only A Kiss
Nobody Needs To Know
Just Always Remember
Making My Way
Like Nobody Else
Filipino Words
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If you want to check out my other books, here they are:
All That Glitters
Just A Little Bit of Love
When Sparks Fly
What’s In Your Heart
Plain Vanilla
Someday With You
Anthologies:
Sola Musica
All This Wanting
Coming of Age
Friendzones
ONLY A KISS
KATIE WAS NINE years old when she got her first kiss. She knew it was going to happen. She had not only thought about it right before it happened, she had demanded it. She had singled out Chris, who had been her classmate since preschool, to give it to her. He was her best buddy. She knew that if there was anyone who was going to give her that first kiss, it was going to be him. She wasn’t in love with him. No way. She was in love with someone else: Chris’s older brother Ethan, who was fourteen and worldly, and never gave her the time of day. Ethan played baseball, basketball, soccer, and video games. He was totally cute. Katie thought he looked like a Disney prince with his thick dark hair and well-defined features, except that he was always in shorts, a shirt, and rubber shoes. He always gave her a half smile every time he saw her in their living room building forts or playing Speed with Chris, but he never stayed and played with them. He always had somewhere else to be, much to Katie’s dismay.
Though he loved to play, Chris sucked at Speed. He always demanded a rematch after every game, and Katie always obliged. She kept winning, not because she was fast, which she was, but because she was an expert on Chris. She could tell when he was already starting to panic because she was winning and all she had to do was stay extra calm for him to panic even more. She was normally highly excitable, but if it meant beating Chris at Speed, she could control her energy levels like a pro. And that freaked him out even more. She never told him her secret. She just said matter-of-factly that he had to accept she was much faster, and thus, much smarter than him. Chris yielded with no question but was always determined to try again. This was why Katie thought he made the perfect sidekick—and not the perfect future husband.
Meanwhile, Katie’s older cousin Regina was getting married. When her mom told her that Ate Regina was engaged, Katie demanded to see the ring. She knew from watching movies that there were usually rings involved when a couple got married. She was surprised when her mom said it wasn’t proper to examine the ring in front of Kuya Ben, her cousin’s new fiancé. Katie thought Kuya Ben was awesome. Not as awesome as Ethan, but awesome nevertheless. He never talked down to her or told her to shut up when she had endless questions or stories about school and Chris. The night of Ate Regina and Kuya Ben’s engagement party, Katie even confided in him that she was going to marry Ethan one day. With his brow furrowed and his dark eyes widening in concern, he asked, “What about Chris? Who is going to marry Chris?” It was then that Katie was confounded. She had never thought of that before. Who indeed was going to marry Chris? She couldn’t let him be alone for the rest of his life. So she began to search for his future bride.
She started the very next day. She studied all her girl friends in school, but found something wrong with each one. Tasha, whose long hair was always in what Katie felt were babyish pigtails, was too whiny—Chris wanted someone who took charge of a situation and didn’t just sit back and complain. Inca with her no-nonsense plastic-rimmed glasses was too laidback, she didn’t care what anyone did—Chris was like that too. If they got married, nothing would get done. At nine, Katie knew this was going to be a big problem. The only one who had a remote chance of spending forever with Chris and living happily ever after with him was Megan. Megan was cute (she would never wear her hair in pigtails), smart, spoke up when she felt things weren’t fair (her hand was always up in the air waving wildly when the teacher didn’t do what she said she would), and she was class president. So when Katie decided to pair them up, she went straight to Megan to let her know.
“Megan, have you thought about who you’re going to marry when you grow up?” Katie asked, offering some of her cheese sticks. It was recess after all and their teachers were always on their case about sharing.
Megan took one and in turn, offered Katie some of her pineapple slices. She always had fruit in her snack box. A plus for Chris’s future, Katie thought. “Yes, of course. I’m going to marry Miguel.”
“What?!” Katie was aghast. She didn’t think any of her friends had even considered marriage. But apparently, Megan had already made up her mind a long time ago. Desperately wanting her to think differently, Katie started extolling the virtues of her best friend. “But, Megan, isn’t Chris so much cuter? He’s sweet too. And he’s—”
“He sucks at Speed,” Megan said flatly. Yes, that was true. And everyone knew about it because Katie had gloated once after class when Inca brought out her deck. And at nine, being good at everyone’s game of choice was a very important trait in a husband-to-be.
“That’s not true. I’m just better than him!” Katie instantly regretted crowing about her winning streak.
“You’re not that good, Katie.” Megan smirked, closing her snack box and getting up from the bench they had shared. “See you in class. I have to get something in the library.”
Katie sat on the bench, frustrated. She absent-mindedly rubbed her lightly freckled cheek and looked up at the sky. She noticed that there were birds flying overhead. She studied their flight pattern and saw they formed a triangle of sorts. Who decided which bird was going to be the leader? Was it the noisiest, the strongest, the one with the most feathers? In their group, she and Megan were always struggling to call the shots. Most of them listened to Katie, but she knew they also sometimes followed what Megan said. Whenever she and Megan were together, she felt like she had something to prove. So again, why did she think Megan would be perfect for Chris? Was it because she was the most like Katie? That freaked her out a little bit.
“Hey, Kate, it’s time for class! We’re gonna be late!” Chris ran past her as the bell rang, signaling the end of recess. Then he stopped to turn around and give her an incredulous look. “Come on!” he yelled.
Katie rolled her eyes. Chris hated being late for class. Well that was one thing he and Megan had in common. Too bad Megan had already chosen Miguel.
KATIE AND CHRIS were playing Speed for the sixth straight time that afternoon when Ethan entered the living room. He surprised them both by plopping down on the couch and watching them play.
Katie found that she couldn’t breathe properly. Why was Ethan just sitting there? He wasn’t even going to say anything? Her little fingers trembled as she studied the cards in front of her. She tried to calm herself, but she couldn’t seem to do it. She was putting down the wrong cards and fumbling. When Chris noticed she was slowing down and actually making mistakes, he quickly took advantage of the rare opportunity and began distributing his cards with a speed he had never shown before. When Katie realized what was happening, it was too late. Chris had no more cards.
“I won! I won! Kuya, this is the first time I’ve beaten Katie!” Chris got up and started doing a weird victory dance, pumping fists and kicking legs.
“Chris! Stop gloating. You can see how upset Katie is,” Ethan chided with a frown.
Katie allowed herself a quick peek at him and her face turned beet red when she saw that he was grinning at her, looking more like a Disney prince than ever. She quickly looked away and started putting the cards back into their box. Chris saw what she was doing and rushed to stop her. “Wait! I might finally be out of my slump.”
Only if your brother sticks around! Katie wanted to say. But Ethan seemed to be watching them with interest. Instead, Katie pouted and crossed her arms. “I want to go home, Chris.” She knew she was being unreasonable and bratty, but she felt she had no choice. If Ethan was just going to stay there and watch them, she wouldn’t be able to concentrate. At the same time, Chris was going to keep winning! How was she ever going to show her face in school again? Everyone was going to hear about this the next day for sure. She could almost see Megan’s shocked face asking if she had misplaced some of her brain cells.
That night, Chris called her on the phone. “My brother thinks you’re a brat.”
Yeah, she could see why he’d think that. But she had been desperate. She had had no choice. Even if she understood why he would think that, it still hurt. Ethan was the boy she was going to marry, after all. “What did you tell him?” she asked, hoping Chris wouldn’t hear the pain in her voice.
“I told him that you’re not used to losing and that you’re my best friend and that he should shut up.” She could hear him grin, but she knew that was exactly what he had said. Chris always stood up to his brother and older cousins, and he always, always defended Katie.
When they were five and Ethan was ten, Katie had a minor meltdown because she wanted to play Barbies but Chris said they were too girly for him. Ethan had pulled Chris aside and congratulated him for standing up to his bossy friend, but Chris got upset with his older brother and said Katie was just feeling bad and that he was actually going to play Barbies because she had brought a Ken doll just for him. Katie hadn’t brought Ken. She didn’t own one. She thought he was a waste of time because his hair was too short and too hard to style and his clothes were incredibly boring. But after that day, Chris had asked his mom to buy him a Ken doll so he could play Barbies with Katie and not have to pretend to be the Barbie that looked the most like a boy (the one with the shortest hair). Katie, in turn, asked her parents to get Chris another Ken for her birthday. They agreed and got Chris the doll but they also gave Katie a Barbie Dream House because they said she was being selfless by not wanting anything for herself. Little did they know how much she benefitted from Chris having Ken dolls.
“Thanks, Chris. You can beat me again tomorrow in school. I’ll bring my deck,” Katie replied, her heart feeling very, very full.
IT WAS INCA’S birthday and the girls were at an all pink salon they loved to visit. But this time, it was all decked out in pink and orange balloons with a tower of decorated cupcakes sitting prettily on a table. Their moms were all there as well getting foot spas while the nine-year-olds sat near each other and munched on popcorn as they got their nails painted.
“What color do you want on your nails, Katie?” Inca asked, looking excitedly at the different bottles of polish in the plastic pink tub.
Katie wrinkled her nose at the pale colors and reached for neon green. “That’s like the color of a highlighter! Do you really want highlighter nails?” Megan snickered, holding her hands out as the manicurist painted them a bright red.
“Well at least I won’t look like Cruella Deville.” Katie rolled her eyes. Megan was always saying things like that. Katie knew that if she wasn’t careful, Megan could make her look like a fool in front of Inca and Tasha. Then she’d lose her friends and where would that leave her?
“Doesn’t Cruella have red gloves?” Inca said tentatively. “I don’t think you see her nails.”
“It’s the same thing! Red!” Katie snapped, handing the neon green to the manicurist. Then she smiled at them and said, “You know what? I overheard Ate Regina saying that neon is the in color nowadays.”
“What does that mean? The in color?” Inca asked, stuffing more popcorn into her mouth.
Megan frowned, looking at her nails. “Yeah, in what?”
Katie shrugged. “I don’t know. But it sounded like a good thing!”
Tasha giggled, her pigtails bouncing. “Well, I like it. I’ll get neon orange.” And she pulled it out of the pink tub.
Katie’s heart lifted and she gave Tasha a grateful smile. Thank goodness she wasn’t alone in liking neon! It was so hard when you were the only one who liked something and no one else did.
Take Megan for instance. She never seemed to like anything Katie liked. Right then, Katie realized how she could make Megan forget about Miguel and agree to marry Chris. She could pretend to like Miguel! That way, Megan wouldn’t like him anymore. That was how things always worked out, didn’t they? A few months ago, Megan had brought a set of Hello Kitty pencils to class and Katie excitedly told her that she also had the same set. Later on at recess, she saw Megan giving all the pencils to Inca. She even overheard her saying, “I don’t like them anymore. But they’re really cute. Katie loves them. You’ll be the same!” Then earlier in the school year, when they were choosing projects for science class, Katie and Megan had both wanted to grow monggo plants and draw how a seed transformed into a plant. Katie was going to suggest they just team up since they were allowed to work in pairs, but Megan marched up to their teacher and told her she wanted to change her project to something “more fulfilling.” Katie was hurt but shrugged it off as Megan being her usual weird self. But now it all made sense. If Megan decided she didn’t like Miguel anymore, Katie’s theory would be right. And, of course, Chris wouldn’t be alone anymore. She couldn’t wait to put her plan into action.
The Monday right after Inca’s birthday nail spa party, Katie brought a pack of Hershey’s Kisses to school. She had begged her mom for it and told her it was for Inca, because she wanted to give her something more since she felt her gift wasn’t good enough. Her mom was really upset, saying that the fluffy blue dress they had bought in Katie’s favorite dress shop was a good enough present, but Katie knew how to get her way. She didn’t cry or wail. She looked down at the ground and mumbled, “But I want Inca to feel even more special today because her birthday is finished. I sometimes feel sad after my birthday because I have no more presents to open.” She got the Kisses and her mom even tied a big purple ribbon around them.
Before class started, Katie made her way to Miguel’s desk and handed him the Kisses. She didn’t say anything. She shoved them at him and scurried back to her desk. She felt like an idiot. Why didn’t she wait till recess or after class when no one was looking? But she knew the answer to that. She wanted everyone to see. She wanted Megan to see. And when she snuck a look at her friend, she noticed her staring at Miguel with her mouth wide open. The next thing she knew, Megan was yanking her up from her chair and pulling her hair. “I told you Miguel was going to be my husband!” she shrieked.
Katie hadn’t expected this! She thought Megan was just going to shout at her or even ignore her completely. She tried to pull her hair back from Megan, but it was too painful. With tears rolling down her cheeks, Katie screamed, “Stop it!” Then, as quickly as it had begun, it was over. Chris had shoved Megan out of the way. Katie’s first thought was, “Uh oh, she’ll never choose him after that.” Then she saw Chris’s concerned face, looking like a softer version of his brother’s, and tearfully whispered, “Thanks, Chris. You’re the best.”
A few seconds later, she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder and her teacher’s grim voice say, “Both of you, come with me.”
Katie started to wonder if she had made a big mistake.
KA
TIE WAS GROUNDED. Her mom didn’t say until when so she knew she was in big, big trouble. She wasn’t allowed to watch TV, use the computer or the phone, and she wasn’t allowed to see her friends outside of school. Even if her teacher repeatedly insisted that Katie didn’t do anything wrong, her mom’s eyes widened as she listened to the story and realized that her daughter had shamelessly lied to her. In the car ride home, her mom refused to speak to her.
Katie was so embarrassed. She didn’t know what she had expected to happen. When she replayed the incident in her head, she waited for the feeling of triumph that usually accompanied being right. But all she felt was shame. Shame for lying to her mom, shame for having her hair pulled in front of all her classmates, and shame for her plan failing. Now she was being grounded for nothing. The last time she was grounded, she and Chris were able to sneak out some of her dad’s special ice cream stash—the flavor he only bought for when his friends came over to watch college basketball on TV—and eat half of it before they were busted and both sent to their rooms. But now, it looked like her plan had backfired. Now Megan was going to hate Chris for sure. And it looked like he was doomed to loneliness forever.
Katie flopped down on her bed and cried her eyes out. Big, gasping sobs that she wanted the world to hear. She was angry, she was frustrated, and she was sad. At the bottom of it all, she just wanted her best friend to be happy. And she truly believed that he wouldn’t be if he were alone.
That night, she crept out of bed to get a drink of water. She was surprised to see the entire house bathed in the warm glow of lamplight while a tired looking Ate Regina sat at the dining table with her mom and Kuya Ben. They had lists, laptops, and envelopes scattered all over and they looked pretty serious.
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