Tom paces around the room. I glance at the door at the far corner. That’s my way out, but he’s standing in front of it. I can try to run for it, but what if he were to catch me? No, I need to play this smart.
“No, it wasn’t,” Tom says with a disappointed look on his face. “You were calling to turn me in. But the thing is, Ellie, that I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You didn’t?”
“No, we were just having sex. And she passed out. But before she did, she was totally into it.”
“But what about Carrie?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I don’t know, Ellie. Caroline was just sitting on the porch. She had a fight with that guy who she came with. We kissed and one thing led to another. You know how it is.”
“Yes, of course,” I lie. I have to agree with what he says now. That’s my only way out. Who knows what he will do to me if I don't pretend to be his friend again. Who knows what he’s capable of. I never thought that he would be capable of raping a girl, let alone our friend. But, apparently, I don't know Tom as well as I thought I did. Maybe I never really knew him.
Chapter 9 - Ellie
When I find myself in a trap…
“Listen, Tom, you have to believe me. I’m on your side. If what you say is true, then let’s call the paramedics and get her some help. I mean, this isn’t normal. Caroline is our friend.”
I’m trying to appeal to his better self. I have no idea if it’s going to work. But I’m all out of options.
“No, we can’t,” he says. He sits down on the couch by the window on the far end of the room, burying his head in his hands. “I really messed up, Ellie. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all going to be okay, Tom. I’m here for you.”
I debate whether I should come over there and comfort him. That would make him believe me more, but I’m also terrified of being that close to him. But it may be my only way out. I keep eyeing the front door, hoping that someone, anyone, will just walk in. But it’s too early. The world is still asleep. Besides, this is a private cottage and now that he has my phone, I’m totally on my own.
“You’re just going to tell them what you saw. But you have to believe me, that’s not what happened. I wasn’t raping her, or whatever you think I was doing. She was into it. It’s not my fault she fell asleep.”
“I know that, Tom. And that’s what you’re going to explain to them. But for now, I just really think we need to have someone check in on her and see if she’s okay. She’s barely breathing, Tom. Her pulse is very shallow. She needs our help.”
He shakes his head.
I take a few steps toward the door, still debating whether I should come over closer to him to make my point stronger or just make a run for it.
“You don't want to make this any worse, do you? I mean, what if she’s not okay? And we didn’t get her any medical help?”
“No, I can’t,” he says slowly.
I take a few more steps closer to the door and my freedom.
“Why?”
“Because then Carrie will find out. And I can’t have her finding this out, Ellie.”
“No, she won’t,” I say, even though I’m fully aware of how unconvincing I sound. Of course, Carrie will find out. I don't know how she wouldn’t. I take another few steps toward the door. I decide to make a run for it when I get a little bit closer. Tom is in such distress that I can’t trust any of his reactions. I have no idea what he’s capable of and I don't want to find out.
“I’m really, really sorry, Ellie,” Tom says. He looks up at me. His eyes are bloodshot and full of tears. His face is red and splotchy. Whatever happened here, he’s definitely regretting it. I take a deep breath.
“I know you are,” I say. When he hangs his head back down, burying it in his knees, I decide to make a run for it.
Within a few steps, I grab the door handle and turn. A gust of cold air hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m outside! Yes!
But then someone grabs me by my hair and tugs really hard. My neck throbs from the pain and my whole scalp burns. A primal scream escapes my lips, sending shivers through my whole body.
“Let me go!” I scream at the top of my lungs. Now that I’m outside, making as much noise as possible is my only way out of this. I need someone to come help and for help to arrive, I need attention.
“Tom, no! Let me go! Help!” I yell.
“Shut up! Shut up!” Tom wraps his cold fingers around my throat and mouth. He closes my nose and I struggle to breathe. He’s behind me and on top of me. He’s smothering me. But I won’t go down this easily. No, I’m going to fight.
I elbow him as hard as I can in the ribs. He winces in pain and lets go of his grip on me. I inhale deeply and suddenly, I’m able to breathe in and out again. I scramble up to my feet and head toward the white picket fence. I just need to get to the other side of that, I say to myself. Then I’ll be okay.
But he grabs me by my feet before I get there. Both of my feet are suddenly locked in place and I tumble to the ground, bracing my fall with my hands. Once I hit the ground, I make a loud thump and all the wind gets knocked out of me. I struggle to inhale even a tiny bit of air. It takes all of my energy to just flip over on my back so that I can get some more air. Slowly, my airways start to open, but each breath is still the most painful thing that I’ve ever experienced.
When I’m finally able to breathe somewhat normally, someone climbs on top of me. It’s Tom, but I’ve never seen him look like that before. He’s blocking out all of the morning light with his body and he’s pinning my hands back behind my head. He’s sitting across my torso and I’m unable to move at all.
“What the fuck are you doing, Ellie?” he asks, huffing and puffing through each word.
I have no idea how to answer that question. I just look around and try to figure out what to do next. There has to be a way out of this, right? This can’t be it?
He leans over to me and presses his lips to mine. It takes me a moment to realize that he’s kissing me. Actually, forcing his tongue down my throat. But I also feel the shift in his weight on top of me. He’s no longer pinning my legs down and suddenly they are free. I lift up my leg and kick him as hard as I can in his back. He cries out in pain. But I’m not done yet. I lift up my head and grab a hold of his lower lip, biting down on it as hard as I can. Something wet and warm runs down the back of my throat. He screams out in pain, but I don't let go until I’m ready. Then I push him away from me. He falls on his back next to me, and I see a rock laying next to me. I grab it and hit him as hard as I can in the face. Then I scramble up to my feet and wobble toward the white picket fence and as far away from him as possible.
As soon as I’m outside the fence, I run for it. I don’t bother to turn around. I don’t bother to see if he’s alright. Or even if he’s after me. No, I just need to get myself as far away from here as possible and the only way to do that is to run. Run for my life.
I burst through the door of our cottage and lock the door behind me. Aiden lazily opens his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asks with a perplexed look on his face.
My heart is pounding so hard, it’s practically jumping out of my chest. I try to calm down my breathing, but it’s all to no avail. I gasp for breath instead. Aiden gets out of bed and walks over to me. He’s still in the nude. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been asleep this whole time. He probably barely moved at all.
“What’s wrong, Ellie?” he asks.
I continue to gasp for breath. But in between my quick, dissatisfying breaths, I manage to mumble, “We have to call the police. Can I have your phone?”
Without another question, he runs over to the nightstand and hands me his phone. I dial 911.
“What’s your emergency?”
“I tried to call you earlier, but he took my phone away. You need to come right away. I walked in on him raping my friend,” I say as calmly as possible.
The 911 operator asks me a dozen other questions, which I an
swer truthfully and to the best of my ability. I don’t keep anything back. I tell her how he took my phone and attacked me. I tell her how I hit him in the head with a rock to get away. I tell her that I have no idea if he’s still conscious or if he’s even still here. When she asks me where we are located, I turn to Aiden, who tells me the address.
The 911 operator refuses to let me hang up until the police arrive. But I’m too afraid to go outside to see what’s going on and when Aiden volunteers to go, I grab his hand.
“But what about Caroline?” he asks. “Don’t you want me to check on her?”
“Yes, of course. But she was passed out. What are you going to do for her if you find her that way? We need the paramedics to come here and fast.”
“Ellie, I’m just going to check on her.”
I shake my head, refusing to let him go. But he pries my hands off him and gives me a big warm kiss on the lips.
“I’m going to be okay; he’s not going to do anything to me, Ellie. I promise,” Aiden says. In a flash, he pulls on a pair of pants, a long sleeved shirt, his dress shoes, and his jacket from last night. And just like that, he’s gone.
Chapter 10 - Ellie
The aftermath…
I know it’s not right that I didn’t want Aiden to go help Caroline. I know that he should go. Of course, he should. But I can’t help how I feel. I’m afraid. I don't want anything else bad to happen and, at this point, I don't know what Tom is capable of. Still, Aiden doesn’t listen to me. He leaves me alone in the room with the 911 operator on the line. I pace around the room, trying to decide what to do. Should I follow after him, just in case he needs my help? Or should I just say here? Stay safe.
The 911 operator keeps asking me questions about what happened and I answer the best I can. I tell her about getting a number of calls from Caroline, and that I didn’t see them until later this morning. After a while, we end up covering the same ground. I don't know why I have to stay on the line, but she insists that we should until the police arrive. After what feels like forever, but is probably only ten or fifteen minutes later, I hear sirens somewhere in the distance.
“They’re here,” I say.
“Okay, just walk out there and make sure that it’s them,” she says.
I run out of the cottage and see two police cars pulling into the parking lot up front. The paramedics aren’t far behind. Aiden meets us out front as well.
“I couldn’t find him anywhere,” he says with a disappointed look on his face. “But you have to help Caroline. She’s still unresponsive.”
“Is she breathing?” one of the police officers asks.
“Yes, but very faintly,” he says.
The next hour or so is a complete blur. There are so many emergency personnel walking around all over the place that I get overwhelmed and just find a quiet place to sit and wait until someone talks to me. I watch as the paramedics rush Caroline, on a stretcher, to an ambulance. There are all sorts of tubes attached to her and my eyes well up with tears at the sight.
“At least, she’s not coming out in a black body bag,” Aiden says. This statement is supposed to make me feel better, but instead, it just makes me feel like total shit. I should’ve answered her calls and texts earlier. I shouldn’t have spent all night making love and then writing. Then maybe none of this would’ve ever happened.
“She called me. A lot,” I say, burying my head in his shoulder. “I should’ve been there for her.”
“This isn’t your fault. Not at all,” Aiden says. “You had no idea any of this would happen.”
I believe him, of course, but only partly. A big part of me doesn’t believe him at all. I know what I should’ve and shouldn’t have done, and I know that I had failed her. Even if I didn’t know, that’s still no excuse.
A police officer approaches us and asks to take my statement. His partner takes Aiden aside, probably to get his own statement.
“Can you tell me what happened?” he asks. I had already told the story to the 911 operator and to Aiden, but I repeat it again. I’ve seen enough crime shows and true crime documentaries on television to know how this works. They keep asking you to re-tell your story in order to see if you mess up. Or add anything that you haven’t added before. It’s all about being consistent. It’s supposed to point out who the liar is. But I have nothing to hide. I tell him the whole truth and nothing but the truth, exactly how it happened.
The police officer listens carefully and writes down parts in his little notebook.
“Have you found Tom?” I ask at the end.
“Actually, no.” He shakes his head. “We can’t find him anywhere.”
My heart sinks into my stomach. What is he talking about?
“But when he attacked me, I hit him on the head with a rock and he fell down right there. In the front yard,” I say.
“And your boyfriend, Aiden Black? Is that his name?” he asks, reading off his notes.
“Uh-huh.” I nod.
“He went out to check on Caroline after you ran back to your cottage?” the police officer asks.
“Yes, while I was on the phone with the 911 operator.”
“Well, that’s the odd thing; he didn’t see him either.”
I already know this. But I don’t really have an explanation as to why not.
“I don’t really know what to say.” I shrug. “I mean, I hit him hard but it’s not like he was dead or anything. Maybe he just ran away. Because he knew I was going to call the police.”
“Maybe,” the cop says unconvincingly. Suddenly, it hits me. Wait a second. What is going on here? Is he really questioning my story? What does all this skepticism on his face mean? Is he trying to say that I’m lying?
“I don’t understand,” I say. “Are you trying to imply that you don’t believe me?”
Now I feel myself getting angry. I mean, who the hell does he think he is?
“No, not at all. I’m just telling you what we know now.”
“Well, I’m not lying. He was the one who did it. He was right there when I left him. If he ran afterward, well, I don't know what I can do about that.”
My voice is rushed and on the verge of losing control. I’m angry that he’s questioning me after all that I’ve been through. What gives him the right?
“Okay, I didn’t mean to upset you, Ms. Rhodes,” the cop says after a moment. “Let me talk to my partner and I’ll be right back with you.”
He leaves me sitting on the stoop of my cottage. Even though morning is in full bloom already, the air feels colder than it ever did before. Whatever sun peeks through the cloud cover, it’s not enough to warm me up. Suddenly, I feel an overwhelming feeling of despair and loss come over me. I want to scream and cry at the same time. I want them to believe me and leave me alone. I want to go back to bed and pretend that none of this ever happened. I want to turn back time. Shivers run through my body and I don’t know if they can be attributed entirely to the cold, or the fact that I didn’t really sleep at all last night or everything that has happened. Perhaps, it’s some sort of combination of all three.
I wrap my arms around my shoulders and rock from side to side. This soothes me somewhat and my heartbeat slows down to its normal pace after a while. I inhale and exhale deeply and force all the bad thoughts swirling around in my head to go away at least for a few minutes.
Chapter 11 - Ellie
When no one knows where he went…
“Hey,” Aiden says, walking up to me. He’s holding two small plastic cups in front of him. I watch the way the steam rises from the top, guided slightly by the breeze off the ocean. Right now, it looks like the most beautiful thing in the world.
“I got us some coffee,” Aiden says, handing me one of the cups. I take it and wrap my hands around its hot base. I take a sip and savor the moment of how it runs down the back of my throat.
“This is good,” I whisper.
“Yes, it is,” Aiden says, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and squeezing me tight
ly. “Are you okay?”
I give him a little smile, but we both know that it’s a lie, that’s how utterly unconvincing it is.
“You’re going to be okay,” he says.
“What about Caroline?”
Aiden shakes his head. “I don’t know for sure. But I think she’ll be alright, too. She had a pulse and she was breathing.”
“Faintly,” I correct him. “Barely breathing.”
Aiden hangs his head and avoids eye contact with me. He knows that what I’m saying is the truth, and no matter how he sugarcoats it, he can’t change that fact.
Neither of us say anything for a while. I look out past the police vehicles and all the commotion to the water on the horizon. The waves are peaceful this morning, not crashing very hard against the sand. It’s almost as if they are sad as well.
“Do you want to go inside?” Aiden asks. “It’s freezing out here.”
I don’t respond. On one hand, I wouldn’t mind going inside. I’m so cold that I have barely any feeling left in my toes, no matter how much I move them around inside my boots. But I can’t. Going inside feels a little bit like giving up. On helping Caroline. On finding Tom. And unraveling this whole awful night.
“Not yet,” I say.
“But you’re freezing.”
“What do you think happened to Tom?” I ask, ignoring his statement.
“I think he ran away,” Aiden says. “He knows that he fucked up big time, and he’s doing his best to cover his tracks.”
I shake my head.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, Aiden. I’m just so overwhelmed by everything. I mean, if I hadn’t walked in on them…I don't think I could’ve ever believed that Tom, my friend Tom, was capable of doing anything like that. I mean, why would he? He’s with Carrie. He loves her. At least, I think he does. And even if he doesn’t, why would he do that to Caroline?”
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