by A. C. Meyer
“Hm . . . er . . . ok,” I answer, cursing at myself silently. Stupid! You can’t let your defenses down and look at him like a dog looks at a bone!
He smiles, looking amused, and then leaves for lunch. Taking pleasure in the empty office, I go fetch myself some lunch too. I better hurry so that I’ll be ready for the meetings later on.
Cadu
So much has happened today that I decide to have lunch by myself in a restaurant by the beach. I can’t stop thinking about seeing Mariana this morning. She really is beautiful and I’m surprised I never saw that before. I gave Miguel, the biggest man-whore in the office, a lecture so that he would leave her alone. She’s a respectful girl, not like the other girls at the magazine who are always dating someone. Mariana is serious and dedicated and sweet. It’s actually disconcerting how much I’ve been thinking about her.
Sitting by a huge window, I look at the beach. I love the sea. There are some days, like today, when it takes everything in me not to take off my clothes, grab my surfboard, go for a swim, and just forget the world around me. Suddenly, something gets my attention. It’s her.
She’s there, sitting on a bench near the beach. With her hair blowing in the wind and a smile on her face, she looks like a nymph that has just emerged from the sea. What’s wrong with me? I’m obsessing over Mariana and I have no idea why. I run my fingers through my hair and call the waiter, asking for the check. After it’s paid, acting totally out of character, I follow my impulse and cross the street, heading for the beach. She’s got her back to me, and she is looking straight at the ocean. I sit quietly next to her until, suddenly, she turns around and screams.
“Oh, my God! Are you trying to kill me?” she asks, a hand on her chest.
“I’m sorry, Mariana. I didn’t mean to scare you . . .” I don’t know what else to say.
“Um . . . what are you doing here?” she asks, looking curious. This wasn’t a good idea. I don’t even know what I’m doing here. I’m a twenty-six-year-old successful and experienced man acting like a fifteen-year-old boy.
“I was having lunch. Then I saw you,” I say, then I shut up to stop myself from saying something else I’ll have no explanation for. The wind carries her perfume to me. It’s sweet, smooth, and deeply feminine. I close my eyes, carried away by her scent.
When I open them, she’s looking at me with a funny expression, as if I am crazy or something. Maybe I really am.
“Is everything okay?” she asks, trying to smile.
I nod.
Shit! She must think I’m some sort of idiot. I look up and focus on the sea. Then I hear a laugh. When I look at her, I see she’s giggling, and she looks like she’s trying hard to suppress a full, loud laugh.
“What?” I ask, and see her cheeks color with a blush.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve never seen you speechless before. It’s kind of cute,” she says, then laughs a bit more.
Cute? No one has ever called me cute.
“Glad to see someone’s having fun,” I say seriously, and she suddenly stops and looks seriously at me. “What now?” I ask, curious.
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t nice laughing at you like that, Carlos Eduardo,” she murmurs, looking down. I have a strong urge to reach out and push a lock of her hair behind her ear.
“Cadu,” I say, unable to stop myself.
“I’m sorry?” She looks up in surprise.
“Out here, I’m just Cadu, Mariana.”
She smiles openly now.
“Mari,” she says, and I smile just as deeply as she does.
The wind shakes her dark hair and I can no longer resist the urge to touch it. I reach out and push a lock behind her ear, and she closes her eyes. It’s like I’m having an out of body experience, tripping in another dimension. I have no idea what’s happening to me, but it’s as if some sort of magnet is pulling me towards her. Suddenly, a loud noise scares us both and I pull back my hand.
“What was that?” I ask, confused. She grabs her cell phone from inside her blouse, where it is safely stowed between her breasts. Oh, Lord! She’s going to be the death of me.
“My alarm,” she says, turning it off. It makes me laugh. There are tons of programmed alarms on her phone.
“How many alarms have you got there?” I ask curiously. She laughs.
“Quite a few. My boss has lots of appointments.” She sounds amused and I smile. “Should we get back?” she asks, and I nod. “Cat got your tongue?”
I laugh. She’s unlike any woman I’ve ever met.
“No. A kitty got me speechless,” I answer, unable to control the flirting tone in my voice. Mari smiles in a lovely way.
We walk back to the building in silence and when we’re almost there, she starts getting herself back together. She takes the hair band from her wrist and ties up her hair, immediately assuming a more professional posture. We walk into the elevator alone and I am very aware of her vibrant presence by my side. We smile at each other, but keep quiet. For the first time in my life, I’m speechless, but there’s no need to talk at all.
When we reach our floor, I hold the door for her. We go to our office still in silence. I purposely let Mari walk ahead and I watch the smooth swing of her hips. I have never gotten involved with anyone I work with. It has been my rule from day one, but right now rules seem irrelevant. All I can think about is her soft smile and how badly I want to kiss her lips and find out if they’re as soft as they seem. We enter the office and she smiles at me.
“Thank you for your company.”
“Anytime, Mari.” I call her by her nickname and she smiles, excusing herself to the bathroom. I take a deep breath and go to my office. I sit on the black leather couch feeling as if I have just been run over by a truck and didn’t even have time to get the license plate.
From: Mariana Costa
To: Lais Menezes
Subject: RED ALERT
I’m hyperventilating in the bathroom. My boss was kidnapped and replaced by some weird charming man!
From: Lais Menezes
To: Mariana Costa
Subject: RE: RED ALERT
OMG! What happened? New boss?
From: Mariana Costa
To: Lais Menezes
Subject: RE: RE: RED ALERT
Nope! Old one, but recycled. Oh, God, I’m dizzy. He’s delightful.
From: Lais Menezes
To: Mariana Costa
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RED ALERT
WTF? Why are we e-mailing instead of phoning? I’m gonna call you.
The cell phone ring startles me.
“Can you please explain what’s happening?” she yells.
“I don’t know what to say. I was at the beach, looking at the sea. He just popped up out of nowhere and we had the weirdest conversation ever!”
“What did he say?”
“He . . . he said that outside his name is Cadu!” I blurt, confused, and Lais laughs out loud.
“Well, thank goodness it’s Cadu and not Eduarda, right? He could’ve said he likes what we like!” she jokes and we both laugh.
“Lais, he’s got dimples! Dimples!” I still can’t believe what a surreal situation that was.
“How hot on a scale from zero to ten?”
“Eleven! Twelve! Fifteen!” I answer excitedly, and we laugh some more. I hear a noise coming from my phone. Another alarm. “Shit. I have to go. It’s almost time for the meeting. I have to get the room ready.”
“All right. Mari, you better write down every detail so you don’t forget anything. I want to know everything tonight!”
“Will do.” I say goodbye then run out of the bathroom.
I stop by my desk to get the material I’ll need, then go to the conference room, practicing some breathing exercises I learned on YouTube. I set the table, placing the folders with th
e meeting material in their places and I slowly start to calm down, allowing Mariana Costa to take Mari’s place. That is, until the Big Boss shows up with the team. I feel his eyes on me while everyone is settling down in their chairs. When I turn around to face him, he winks. If I had a crush on him before, now I’m completely lost.
Mari
Since the weird episode on Monday, I’ve had very little contact with Cadu. We had a series of meetings and on Tuesday night he flew to São Paulo in a hurry to solve a problem at another branch. I decided that Monday was an anomaly of our professional relationship and chose to ignore it. I wasn’t able to make sense of what happened and I just wasn’t ready to deal with it, no matter what it may have meant, whether it actually meant anything or not.
Friday nights Lais and I dance. We go to different clubs every week, but our goal remains the same: shake our booties and let off some steam. Today, we’re going to a club in Lagoa, where one of Lais’s coworkers said an international rock band is going to play.
I take a quick shower and look for something to wear. On Friday nights, I leave elegant and professional Mariana behind, with her suits and dresses, and become Mari, the joyful and playful girl.
I pick a pair of washed-out skinny jeans, a black glittery T-shirt, and a pair of heels. I dry my hair, leaving it loose and wavy, so different from the way I wear it in the office. While I start my makeup, I turn on the stereo and try to sing along, even if I’m out of tune.
I’m very musical. I love all types of music and to sing and dance. That’s why Friday nights are such an event for me. Friday nights are the only time I can release all the energy I spend the whole week keeping to myself.
I apply my makeup, highlighting my eyes with eyeliner and a light shade of lipstick on my lips. I check myself in the mirror and I’m pleased with the party Mari I see. I’m putting together a small purse when my cell phone rings.
“Mariana, you do have a mother, did you know that?” my mom says, laughing.
“Hey, Mom. I know! How are you?”
“I’m good! Are you going out with Lais? She told her mother she’s going to Lagoa.”
Our mothers are always gossiping and plotting to get information from us.
“Yes, I am. Actually I was just leaving, Mom. We’re going to a concert.”
“Take care, sweetie. Take a taxi.”
“We will. See you, Mom,” I say, amused at our conversation. I leave for Lais’s building still humming.
After waiting for almost forty minutes for Lais to get ready, we finally called Luiz—the taxi driver we trusted to drive us to and from every party—to take us there. We are excited, laughing and joking all the way over, until Lais suddenly grows serious.
“What?” I ask worriedly.
“I don’t know, I have . . . a strange feeling.”
“Strange how? Oh, my God! I hate this sixth sense bullshit,” I complain. It seems like every time somebody says they have a strange feeling, something bad happens. Luiz looks at me and makes the sign of the cross three times.
“I don’t know . . . It’s like something bad is about to happen, you know? Something big.”
“Maybe you’ll get a boyfriend,” Luiz says and we both laugh.
“Oh, Luiz, I don’t think so. This place we’re going is full of rich people. They won’t even look at us. When we say where we live, they’ll run the other way. We just go there to dance and have fun,” Lais says and we share a laugh.
And she’s right. Almost every time we go out and meet guys, if they live in the south part of town, it’s a dead end. We knew there was a local bias but it was understandable. They lived far and there were plenty of beautiful women living closer. No man wants to go through that sort of trouble. Unless they were head over heels for someone.
“It’s their loss. You’re nice, pretty and employed. If my son was a little older I’d tell him to pick one of you to date,” Luiz says and we both laugh, thinking of his twelve-year-old cute son.
In a short time, we go through the tunnel and see the beautiful neighborhood of Lagoa. The weather is warm and the starry night promises a fun evening. Luiz stops the taxi in front of the bar, takes his payment, and tells us to call whenever we are ready to go back. That’s always been our arrangement.
Barzinho is an old brick house that was once home to a private club. The bar is on the ground floor, the tables are filled with people sipping their drinks. On the top floor, there’s a dance floor and a small stage.
“Do you want something to drink, Mari?” Lais asks. I shake my head no, dying to go upstairs and dance. She laughs, already seeing right through me. We climb the stairs which is packed with people.
The band is playing one of my favorite songs. We’ve barely been there a minute but Lais and I are already dancing and singing along. When the music slows, it hits me how much I long for somebody by my side to keep me company. I’ve been let down with relationships in general but it would be nice to have someone to slow dance with.
The hours pass by and we sing along to every song the awesome band plays. Lais and I dance, talk, and laugh.
I’m singing along when the strangest feeling takes over me. It’s this weird vibe, as if someone was calling to me, but I can’t tell where the feeling came from. I look around and see nothing, but I feel butterflies in my stomach and a cold tingle on the back of my neck. If I had had anything to drink, I would blame drunkenness, but we hadn’t had a sip of anything. Then I see a pair of seductive, familiar brown eyes. When I see his dimples, I feel suddenly dizzy.
What am I supposed to do . . . gout in the club, my hot boss is staring at me like I’m a big ice cream? Of course, I did the only thing I could . . . I ran away!
I don’t usually go out on Friday nights, especially not after a trip. But Rodrigo had been so insistent that I couldn’t say no. One of our friends from university has a birthday and Barzinho is near home.
“We’ll go, stay for an hour or two, and then we go home. You’re getting old, man!” Rodrigo complains. I finally agree to tag along. It’s easier than saying no and spending the rest of my life hearing about it.
After my flight, I head home and take a quick shower. I don’t even bother to shave. I dress in a pair of jeans and a white shirt.
What I’d hoped would be a quiet evening chatting with friends, quickly turned into something else. I had just walked into the club when I felt something in the air. It was disturbing, like something was about to happen. I looked around. Rodrigo was telling us a funny story and then I see her. Well, I think I see her, at least. She vanishes as quickly as she showed up. I’m positive I saw Mari dancing. I can’t possibly be so connected to her that I’m already imagining things.
I look carefully around the place and I don’t see her. Gosh, maybe I’m really going nuts. I shrug, trying to forget her smile, when Rodrigo announces he’s going lady-hunting. I laugh at his comment and watch him, trying to figure out who his “victim” will be. My heart beats fast and for a second I think I’ll have to fight my own friend, but then he turns around to talk to the blondie next to her. Yes, her. I knew I wasn’t crazy.
I stay back where she can’t see me, just watching. She looks so different from the Mariana I work with. She’s beautiful and sexy, dressed up and relaxed. The band is playing and she sings along at the top of her lungs, as if she were performing.
For a few minutes, I just stand there and admire the woman who has effortlessly stolen my attention like no one else ever has. It’s funny because Mari isn’t anything like the women I usually date. They’re usually very thin, blonde or ginger, all dressed up to get my attention. She’s something else entirely. Yes, she’s dressed up and she has some makeup on, but she looks real, like a woman with beautiful curves instead of an empty doll.
I’m not the type of guy who compromises. I’ve never met anyone worth building a relationship with. Most women I date seem
to just be interested in being seen with someone with influence, finding themselves a rich husband, or posing for Be’s next cover . . . but Mari seems different.
As the band plays their next song, I watch her sing along with the lyrics. Something about the way she says the words—the wish for endless kisses—sparks something in her. Her eyes seem to change color. That gives me an impulse as well—I need to go after her. I walk the other way, trying to surprise her. I approach her from behind, and before I chicken out, I pass an arm around her waist and sing the next lines low in her ear.
Cadu
You know that moment when you feel the world has stopped? Like someone with a remote control pressed pause, and suddenly everything around you just ceases to exist?
Yeah, I didn’t know how it felt either, until I felt Cadu’s arm around me and I heard him singing in my ear.
I immediately run to the bathroom, of course. Lais shakes me and tells me to breathe because I’m acting like I’m losing my mind. Hey, don’t look at me like that. Do you know how long I’ve been single? Two years! My last relationship ended painfully. He was really jealous and ever since him, I don’t feel sure about anyone. And I have definitely never kissed a guy like Cadu. Never. I would surely remember, even if it had just been a peck.
Lais tells me to inhale and exhale like I learned from that video. After that, she tells me off for being silly and demands that I act like the grown-up woman I am. I manage to calm down and walk with her back to the dance floor, trying to seem calm and tranquil, but all I want is to run back home. I’m afraid of what I wo uld feel if I let myself get involved, even if now it seems like innocent flirtation. Because I know he’s the kind of guy who would take my breath away in the blink of an eye. And not to mention he’s my boss!
We get out of the bathroom and I look around but he’s not there. Maybe I just imagined it? I can’t believe I’m so far gone as to start imagining things. We cross the dance floor just in case and I can finally relax when I don’t find my hot Big Boss anywhere around. I breathe a sigh of relief and let the music take me. The band is really good and they’re playing the type of music I like.
