Scent of the Heart

by Parker Williams

  “Sev?”

  His mate rubbed bleary eyes. Such a beautiful blue. They reminded him of the sea; clear and bright when he was happy, dark when he was angry or upset. Or now, a shade he would only associate with Casey, a magical blue, electric in its intensity. One that Sev knew would be there whenever his mate looked at him.

  “I’m sorry to bother you, Shaman. Perhaps I should come back when you have had sleep.”

  The hand that touched his arm seared Sev’s soul. A connection he never expected to feel with anyone scorched him. He peered into his mate’s eyes, seeing only concern. Then Sev scoffed. Of course Casey was concerned. He was the shaman, and it was his responsibility to be worried about the members of the enclave. But for now, at least, he’d pretend that the worry he saw was only for him.

  ***

  Casey had slept in the early evening, exhausted from his activities of the day. First the twins came, and their birth wasn’t easy. One of them, the boy, refused to come out. Normally shifter births were in and out in less than an hour. This one had kept him elbow deep for four. When the child was finally born, he had a full head of fluffy gray hair, indicative of his mother’s rabbit side. When they’d asked his advice on what to name their new son, Casey had said Thumper. His parents had fallen in love with the name, and Casey learned that people who had never seen a movie had no idea what humor was.

  Then there was the incident with the stupid skunk in the forest. He hoped to hell Jake never found out, because after all the crap Casey had given him, he knew for a fact there would be hell to pay.

  His intent had been to sleep a few hours, then try another dreamwalk. They always left him drained when he didn’t have a tether to this world. Casey shook his head. Six months ago he never would have talked about different worlds, men that could become animals, or ghosts outside of his weekly Dungeons and Dragons game. Now it seemed he was actually living a campaign. He was a shaman, a wizard of sorts. Jake was a paladin, righteous and good. Zak was…well, Zak probably would have been royalty. With his demeanor and attitude, he would have made a great king.

  He’d been dozing fitfully; his dreams filled with visions of future events, where a fork in the road left him with too many decisions. One was life, the other was death, but both were fraught with peril. The knocking at his door had jolted him awake, and he was actually glad for it.

  Sev looked absolutely miserable as he stood at the door. This would be only the second time the man had come to see Casey. Most everyone else in the enclave had stopped by, even for a friendly visit, numerous times. Yet Sev always hung back. This time, Casey needed to understand what was going on.

  When they came in contact, skin on skin, Casey had no idea what happened. A surge ran up the length of his arm, seemingly connecting him to Sev. He could tell the man across from him needed his help. Sev was different from all the others in the enclave who’d come and talked to him in the last six months. He didn’t need advice; what he needed was someone to understand.

  Sev sat at the table, looking for all the world as if he were lost. He sipped the calming tea that Casey had brewed, his eyes downcast as he told Casey his story—the death of his parents, the problems he now had with his brothers, and his uncertainty that he was doing the right thing. Never before had Casey wanted to pull someone into his arms and promise them that everything would be all right. He’d heard so many stories after Elizar’s defeat—beatings, rape, murder, and still he was able to maintain a detachment. Not with Sev.

  “How can I help?”

  Sev sighed. “I don’t know that you can. I just wanted to talk to someone.”

  Casey could see the shine of tears when Sev finally lifted his head, and his chest tightened as he stood and wrapped his arms around the man. He didn’t have words, and he couldn’t think of any other way to comfort him. Not one of the salves, potions, ointments, teas, or other remedies on his shelves had the power to offer the healing that a hug brought.

  “Thank you, my mate.”

  The words were so soft Casey was certain he had misheard them.

  ***

  Casey’s arms tensed around him. Damn me. I hadn’t intended to say that. When Casey began to draw away, Sev held on with all his might. He needed the contact. No one had ever made him feel this way. Not his family, not any of the friends he’d had before. He clung to Casey as if he were a raft on a rising tide.

  “Please,” he begged. “Not yet.”

  Casey’s stance relaxed and Sev melted into the tight grip of the affection his mate showed him. When a hand cupped the back of Sev’s head, he gasped. Nimble fingers stroked his hair and Sev purred at the touch. In this moment, he would deny his mate nothing. He had never touched a man before, but with Casey, he wanted to learn what made him happy. To be the one that Casey called his home.

  “You should talk to the Alpha,” Casey murmured in his ear. “I’m not sure if I’m the one to give you advice.”

  “No,” Sev pleaded. “Please don’t make me go away.”

  “Whoa, hey, hang on.” Casey leaned back and placed his hands on Sev’s shoulders. There was such tenderness in his gaze. “I’m not going to leave you high and dry, but I think Zak may have a better understanding of some of the issues.”

  “I’ve offended you,” Sev said sadly. “Forgive me.”

  He pushed away and rushed to the door, not stopping when Casey called to him. Yet another person in his life he’d disappointed. He could bear no more. He tugged at his clothes and dropped them along the path. The forest called to both Sev and his beast. The Alpha would find caretakers for his siblings, someone who could be strong with them and guide them with a firm hand. Sev couldn’t do that. He couldn’t even take care of himself.

  ***

  “This night is shot,” Casey mumbled. “Hakii, if you’re there, I’m sorry. I need to find him. I’ll try to be back as soon as I can. Oh, and if you’re not there, I hope you’re getting a damn good laugh at me talking to myself.”

  The night air had chilled considerably. Casey threw on a sweater and hurried to the Alpha’s house. Before he could pound on the door, it swung open. Jake stood there wearing nothing at all.

  “Oh god, my eyes.”

  Jake sighed. “You’ve seen me before. A lot, if I recall correctly.”

  “And every time I do, I remember that I need to create eye bleach.”

  Jake faked a laugh. “Yeah, you’re hilarious. What do you want?”

  “A guy came to my house tonight. His name is Sev, and I think he’s in trouble.”

  All humor fled from Jake’s face. “What happened?”

  Casey told him about the visit. “He…called me his mate. What the hell is that about?”

  “Later. We’ve got to find him.”

  In an instant, Jake transformed into a beautiful black jaguar. Zak came rushing to the door. “What is wrong?”

  Before Casey could answer, Zak grabbed a heavy coat and squirmed into it. “Jake will track him. You will come with us.”

  “Zak, he called me his mate. Why would he do that?”

  “You worry about this now? I do not see where this matters. If you prefer, you may stay behind.”

  Casey sobered immediately. “No, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

  They tracked Jake as he hurried to the woods. When they heard him roar, Zak and Casey ran to the edge of the forest. Jake had transformed back to his human form and, man, was he pissed.

  “Come out here, now,” he demanded.

  There was no movement, but Casey heard a clicking noise, followed by the familiar stamping of feet.

  “You spray me and I swear to the gods I will neuter you. Put your damn tail down and face us as a man, Sev.”

  When the skunk slunk out of the bushes, Casey put two and two together. “You son of a bitch. You sprayed me and then you—”

  Zak’s eyebrows arched and Casey saw the grin flash across his face.

  Sev’s transformation was nowhere near as fast as Jake’s. Casey winced at the so
und of bone grinding against bone as Sev regained his humanity. He stomped over to where Sev lay and yanked him up by his arm. Casey cursed the electric current that shot through him when he touched Sev’s skin.

  “What the hell were you doing?”

  Sev’s chin touched his chest. “Trying to make everyone’s life better. I’ve brought shame to my family, disgraced my brothers, and pain to my…to you, Shaman.”

  The low growl startled Casey, because this time it came from Zak.

  “Who leads you?”

  “You do, Alpha.”

  “If there is a problem in the enclave, then who is it you should speak to?”

  “You, Alpha.”

  “Yet you did not. I would ask why.”

  Sniffles preceded Sev sliding to the ground. “You are a good Alpha. So much better than Elizar ever was. You’re kind, compassionate, and a true champion for the people. But you couldn’t understand what it’s like. My parents are dead. My brother hates me. My- m-my life has been turned around and I don’t know which direction to go.”

  “To me,” Zak said softly. “When you hurt, all roads lead to me. I cannot help with everything, but if you will not trust me to try, then I have already failed you.”

  Sev’s eyes snapped to Zak’s. “But you didn’t. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

  “In six months’ time, how often have we spoken?”

  “None,” Sev mumbled. “Because I didn’t seek you out.”

  “Then I should have come to you. That is my failure.” Zak held out a hand. “Come with me now. We will figure this out together.”

  “I wanna know—” Casey began, but a sharp look from Zak was enough of a rebuke that he stopped immediately. “I want to know what I can do to help.”

  “Would you see to his brothers for the evening? Sev will be joining me for dinner and a good nights’ rest.”

  Though he tried, Casey couldn’t help but bow. Damn Zak and that power of compulsion. “Yes, Alpha. Of course.”

  ***

  Sev had expected his Alpha to be forceful, yes, but the good heart beneath the powerful exterior surprised him. The servants brought in a meal of roots, wild venison, tubers, and berries. Sev hadn’t seen food like this since his parents were alive.

  “You will join us,” Zak said, a note of command in his voice.

  Sev sat and began to pick at his food. The scents were heavenly, but guilt weighed heavily in his stomach.

  “Is this not to your liking? I am certain the chef will prepare something suitable for you. Though I believe this is acceptable to a skunk’s palate, is it not?”

  “No, Alpha. The meal is splendid. I can’t eat knowing my brothers will go to bed hungry.”

  Zak cocked his head. “Why would this be?”

  Sev looked toward the Protector who calmed him with a smile.

  “When Elizar still ruled, he slaughtered my parents. They tasked me with raising my brothers, but I was only sixteen. I didn’t know what to do. He moved us to the outer ring, and there we lived for years. In the outer ring, things weren’t like they were in the enclave. Violence was common. People fought over scraps of food, living space, or just for the sake of fighting. This was where I was supposed to raise our…my family.

  “I did what I could, but we didn’t barter services for goods. The hunters gathered what food they could from the clearing and the prey took what scraps they could get. Some of them sold their bodies in exchange for enough food to feed their family. As the only skunk left in the village, I wasn’t welcome in anyone’s bed. I resorted to scavenging what I could, but it was never enough to feed two growing boys and me. So I had to steal in order for them to survive.

  “The first time I was caught, the beating I got broke my arm in two places. Shifting doesn’t help much when you don’t have enough energy to do it properly and you’re forbidden to go into the woods to find your own food. The next time I got caught, it was a whole lot worse. I should have died that day. Sometimes I wish I had.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  “And you say your brother is an animal,” Casey growled. “If this is how you behave, it’s no wonder he’s so stressed.”

  The seating left something to be desired. Like seating. Mats were strewn about the floor, and Casey sat cross-legged on one. Sev’s brothers were unbelievable. He could see a resemblance between Sev and Vadim. Where Sev’s hair was as white as pure snow, Vadim’s was dark and cut very short. He was quiet, but intensely interested in everything Casey had brought with him. There was a constant barrage of questions, mostly very intelligent ones, but it was as if the boy didn’t need to breathe.

  Mikhail, on the other hand, was sullen and angry. He constantly demanded attention, then bristled when he got it. No matter what Casey said to him, it was wrong. Casey was stupid. Sev was a horrible brother. The enclave was messed up. A shaman needed patience to deal with problems, but Mikhail grated on Casey’s last nerve.

  He’d gotten food from the cook at Zak’s house and brought it with him. In true teenage boy style they descended like a plague of locusts, inhaling everything. Then Mikhail complained that the food was bad. Casey closed his eyes and counted to ten. Five times.

  “Then next time, don’t eat it. I wouldn’t want your stomach to become upset. If I bring food again, and right now that’s a big if, simply excuse yourself and go to your room.”

  Gaping like a fish, Mikhail sputtered and gestured wildly. It was apparent he wasn’t used to someone talking back to him. The little brat had a lesson to learn if he thought Casey would be as easy as Sev.

  Sev. Casey’s mind drifted to the man. Why had he called Casey mate? He wasn’t gay, no way. He liked the girls, sometimes to his own chagrin when he made comments that earned him a glare. More than once he’d had to duck a well-aimed slap from a girl he thought he’d given a compliment to. Sure, his pickup lines were pretty cheesy, but didn’t girls love a man with a sense of humor?

  This whole thing with Sev bothered him. Was the man delusional? Everything Casey knew about mates he’d learned from Jake and Zak, or from someone in the enclave. They were like destined partners. People the spirits chose. Not everyone was lucky enough to find their heart mate. The Alpha officiated most joinings, then the people fell into a life and raised a family with someone they loved. It wasn’t like that with heart mates. The connection between them created an immutable link. If the Alpha joined two people and then one or both found their heart mate, a triad or new family unit was formed, with the heart mates being the dominant pair and the other mate being cared for by them. The system fascinated Casey.

  He couldn’t understand Sev, though. Casey didn’t think he had ever given any indication he was interested in men, mostly because he wasn’t. If Sev had been a girl, Casey would have been all over him. He was sweet, sensitive, loyal. But he was a man, and that X factor, or Y factor, ruled him out.

  A crash and a murmured ‘sorry’ jerked Casey out of his thoughts. He rushed over to find Vadim rifling through his satchel. “What are you doing? There’s stuff in there you shouldn’t be touching. No, wait. Everything in there is something you shouldn’t be touching.”

  “What’s this?” Vadim asked, holding up a pouch with a yellowish powder.

  Casey snatched it from his hand. “That is not something to mess around with.”

  “But what is it?” Vadim protested.

  “It’s cattail pollen, and it’s harder than hell to get. Please don’t touch my things.”

  Casey grabbed the bag and stuffed the pouch into it. He glanced at the mess on the floor, shattered remnants of a clay pot, filled with lichens he’d collected from the forest. Mixed with the clay shards, Casey would be afraid to use them lest someone get cut with a small sliver. He sighed and began gathering the mess, only to see Vadim poking at his satchel again.

  “What is it with you?” he asked brusquely. “Do. Not. Touch. My. Stuff.”

  Mikhail grunted and walked toward the door. “Where do you think you’re going?”

&
nbsp; “For a walk,” was the curt reply.

  “No, you’re not. It’s late. You should be sleeping. Sev will be home in the morning. He’s talking with the Alpha and Protector tonight.”

  Mikhail’s lip curled in disgust. “You’re not my father. Sev isn’t either. Neither of you can tell me what to do.”

  He yanked the door open and was about to step through when Casey slammed it shut. “Sit. Down,” he snarled.

  For a moment he thought Mikhail would argue with him. Instead, the little reprobate stormed through the room and flopped onto one of the mats. Casey sucked in a deep breath. He pulled a lavender and thyme sachet from his pouch and hung it near the door. There was so much bad energy concentrated in this house that it was almost a living thing. He turned and walked over to Mikhail sitting near the edge of the mat.

  “Wanna talk?” he asked quietly.

  “Not to you,” he snapped.

  “Hello? Shaman. Kind of my thing.”

  “You’re not a shaman. You’re an outsider who pretends to be a shaman.”

  Casey tried to pretend the criticism didn’t sting. “Think you can do better?”

  A snort was his only reply.

  “Yes, I’m an outsider. I’ve been studying for the last six months, trying to make life here better for everyone. I’ve learned so much from everyone, at least those who talk with me. How can I help you if you won’t let me?”

  “I didn’t ask for your help. I don’t need it.” Mikhail’s voice trembled, and Casey knew it was only a matter of time before the boy gave in and told him everything.

  “He’s been mean since our parents died,” Vadim groused.

  That was obviously the wrong thing to say. Mikhail reared up and tackled his brother, punching him anywhere he could. Casey had a hard time separating them. They might not be shifters, but they certainly inherited their strength from somewhere. He pulled Mikhail across the room; the young man was sweaty and struggling to break free.

  “I hate you,” he screamed at Vadim. “I wish you were dead. I wish they had given Sev to Elizar, then none of this would have happened. He should have been the one to die, not Mama and Papa.”