Scent of the Heart

by Parker Williams

  “Shaman. Don’t need wood when magic works so much better.”

  “I can see that having an advantage.”

  “Come back to bed. It’s cold.”

  “Shifter. We don’t feel the cold like you do.”

  “Touché.”

  “Still, I wouldn’t say no to cuddling.”

  Sev was surprised when Casey drew back the covers and invited him into the bed. He glanced toward the door, then decided Mikhail could wait. He got beneath the blanket, grateful for the warmth when Casey enveloped him.

  “I don’t know what’s happening here between us. I’m afraid, but I need you near me.”

  “My mother had told me you love the person, not the body. Who they are on the inside is what you love. Everything else is just dressing. It took me many years, but at last I understand.”

  “I admit, I never imagined myself with a man before. Hell, I don’t think I ever once thought of a nude dude before. Well, okay, maybe Connor once when I saw him naked for the first time. The boy packs serious baggage.”

  Sev growled, rolled over, and pinned Casey beneath him. “Who is this Connor? I’ve never heard of that name in the enclave.”

  “College roommate. Another life ago. Turned out to be a major jerk. Tried to touch Zak in the showers.”

  “Did the Protector kill him?”

  Casey’s laugh was rich. “No, but I think he wanted to. What is it with you shifters and your caveman attitudes?”

  “We don’t share easily. If you had another mate before I found you, I would have accepted them as part of my life. However, once we bond, there will never be another for either of us.”

  “And by bond you mean…?”

  “Yes, when we exchange our essences, we will be partners in this life and any other.”

  “And you’ll always want me?”

  It broke Sev’s heart to hear the uncertainty in his mate’s voice. “Oh, yes. Already, I ache for you.”

  Sev ground his groin against Casey, whose eyes opened wide. When the returning hardness rubbed against him, Sev smiled.

  “Your body knows mine. It feels the pull, even as your mind tries to deny it.”

  “Not denying it. I had a dream last night. The two of us deeply in love, growing old together and—”

  “Raising a son we found in the forest. I had the same dream.”

  Casey didn’t even seem surprised that they’d shared a dream. “I’m not saying I’m ready today. I might not be ready tomorrow, but for what it’s worth, I accept we’re mates.”

  “You do?”

  Casey’s brow furrowed. “Dude, I see dead people. I make magic charms. I can create fire with a word. But mostly? I’ve learned to believe in my dreams. Who am I to go against what the Fates or gods’ decree? Just…go slow, okay?”

  “As slow as you need, my mate.”

  ***

  Molten lead burned in Casey’s belly when Sev smiled down at him. This mate thing was so foreign to him, even though his best friends were a mated pair. Yet the way Sev looked at him made Casey understand what love was. He pulled his wrists loose and wrapped his hands around the back of Sev’s neck. Tentatively, he pulled Sev toward him, wanting to feel their lips together again.

  The kiss was electric. Even if what Sev said wasn’t true, Casey would never look at another person the same again. With a chaste kiss, Sev devoured him, ripping out his energy and replacing it with Sev’s own. Casey squeezed his eyes tight and parted his lips. Sev began to draw back, but Casey pulled him in tighter. Sev sighed and relaxed, allowing their tongues to twine together. It was heavenly, and Casey wanted more. He reached under Sev’s shirt and ran his hands over a tight body with a smattering of hair. Tiny nipples peaked as Casey touched them, and Sev groaned.

  Sev grabbed the hem of Casey’s sweater and yanked it off his body. Casey shivered, and this time it wasn’t just from the chill in the air. Sev bent down and sucked one of Casey’s nipples into his mouth, forcing Casey to arch his back. With a thumb and forefinger, Sev played with the other bud. Tiny shocks zipped through Casey’s body at each touch, and he moaned into Sev’s mouth.

  Casey had lost his virginity to Helen DeWitt at a party two years ago. She was a sweet girl, shy, but with a mouth like a sailor when she had been drinking. They’d both been drunk from some beers that Gary Carson, the host, snuck from his dad’s refrigerator in the garage. They’d been standing in the corner when Helen stuck her tongue down his throat, licking at his tonsils. She leaned over and growled in his ear, “We should fuck.” Casey had been primed and eager, wanting more than anything to finally get laid. She dragged him into Gary’s bedroom and stripped off her clothes.

  Casey recalled with incredible clarity how she had helped him get naked. Her fingers trailing over his body, until she came into contact with his dick. She gripped it tightly to pull him over to the bed where she, then, stretched out and opened her legs in invitation. Casey found a condom in Gary’s nightstand that fit a bit snugly, and in one smooth stroke, he entered Helen, who cried out in pain and began sobbing. Casey pulled away and saw the blood. She hadn’t told him that she, too, was a virgin. He pulled her into his arms, murmuring apologies, pleading with her to stop crying.

  The memory stayed with him. Helen wouldn’t talk to him afterward. She dressed and fled the house, still wrecked. He’d asked one of their friends about her, but was told in no uncertain terms that she never wanted to see him again. That night had thrown him off thoughts of sex for over a year. His next encounter went much better, and Casey enjoyed it immensely. He wouldn’t say he was skilled or had a magnetic personality, but he never lacked for a one-night stand if he went looking for it.

  He’d never been in love before. Everything up until this point had been lust, a hormone-amped affair that equated with getting off and leaving as soon as possible. With the exception of Helen, every girl had understood the rules of the game. He seldom went with the same woman twice, instead playing the field when the mood hit him. When Jake and Zak got together, something in him changed. He saw how happy they were, how devoted Jake was to Zak, and something inside him stirred.

  After that, Casey tried to pursue a relationship. He’d gone out a few times while he trained with Hakiim, but the encounters were hollow and never led to sex. As Sev stroked his chest and kissed his neck, Casey pushed all thoughts of others from his head. This man, his mate, held the key to his happiness, or so his dreams told him. When Sev fumbled with his belt, Casey’s hands shot out, clutching Sev’s wrists.

  “Please?” Sev asked quietly. “Allow me to continue.”

  Casey held still for a moment, then released his grip. Sev smiled and covered Casey’s eyes with a brush of his hand. Casey kept them closed. Sev tugged at his pants, and Casey lifted his hips. The cool breeze washed over him moments before a warm breeze blew across his skin. He could feel the goose flesh breaking out everywhere. A moment of panic crept in when Sev put his hand on Casey’s most intimate parts, but Sev stroked another hand down Casey’s stomach and calmed him.

  “I’m going to try something. I’ve never done this before, and I hope you’ll enjoy it.”

  Then Sev engulfed Casey, sucking hard on his cock. Casey gasped. “Your teeth. You have to watch your teeth.”

  When Sev pulled back, Casey ached at the loss of contact.

  “I’m sorry,” Sev whispered. Then went down again. This time it was all warmth and wetness. Sev’s tongue was magical, twisting and wrapping around Casey’s length, drawing moans and pleading from Casey.

  “Sev, you gotta stop. I’m gonna—”

  He clutched Sev’s head, trying to force him to let go, but Sev ignored him, stroking his cock as he plunged his mouth down onto it. Casey cried out as his orgasm hit, and Sev continued sucking, draining Casey of his very essence. Only when Casey stopped shuddering did Sev release his hold.

  “Did I please you?” Sev asked, worry evident in his voice.

  Casey nodded and tried to catch a breath. He’d never had an
orgasm like that. Never thought it was possible. An orgasm was a thing of beauty. A few moments of pure bliss. What Sev had done was beyond the pale. He’d turned a simple orgasm into a damn near religious experience. When Sev moved to lie down next to him, Casey wrapped his arms around his mate and kissed him hungrily. He pushed Sev onto his back, intent on returning the pleasure, but Sev cupped his face and smiled sadly. “No, that was my gift to you.”

  “And I want to return the gift. I don’t know that I’ll be any good at it, but I want to try.”

  “I’m grateful, but it isn’t necessary. Perhaps another time?”

  Casey lay on top of Sev, kissing him again. “Name the time and place. I have much to learn, and I want us to practice a lot.”

  The warmth in his belly told Casey how much he meant those words. Sev had been right. It wasn’t about the body. It was the person inside that mattered. And this person was his mate.

  “I love you,” Sev whispered.

  Warmth coursed through his body. He’d been searching for someone who would say the words to him, and mean them. He wanted to say it back, but instead, he pulled Sev closer and clung to him.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Morning light brought regret. When Casey woke, Sev wrapped in his arms, his first thought was how content he seemed. Then panic set in at the memory of what they’d done during the night. He extricated himself from the warmth of the body next to him and quickly pulled on his clothes.

  “Good morning,” Sev groaned as he stretched. His chest muscles flexed, which drew Casey’s attention. The same chest he’d touched so lovingly last night now made him ill. He needed Sev to leave. Casey’s mind neared panic, but he worked hard to stay calm.

  “Hi, how are you?” It was a lame comment, and Casey could hardly bear to look at Sev.

  “I slept well. I hope we didn’t miss my brother. He was anxious to see you.”

  “I don’t think he showed up. Pretty sure we would have heard him. So listen, I have a lot to do this morning, and I need to get to it.”

  Sev’s lower lip pushed out slightly, and Casey’s stomach twisted. He was an ass. He wanted to scoop the man up and tell him he was wrong, that everything was fine, but when Sev stood, and Casey saw his morning erection, the jolt of panic shot through him again.

  “Okay. Can I see you later?” There was such hope in Sev’s voice.

  “I’ve got several projects I need to work on this week. Would it be okay if I stopped over to see you when I had time?”

  Sev’s expression fell, then brightened. “Of course. I’ll be around if you need me.”

  “That sounds…good.”

  Casey stiffened when Sev kissed him good-bye, quickly stepping back. “So I’ll see you,” he murmured.

  When the door closed, Casey sat on the small hand-carved bench, cupped his face in his hands, and wondered what the hell he would do now.

  ***

  It was a glorious day, and Sev’s spirits soared. He wanted to sing. To let everyone know he was in love. There was a nip in the air, but it didn’t bother him at all. In fact, he reveled in it. He was in the only home he’d ever wanted to be in, filled with people who were more than just a community. They were getting through their problems for the most part, even though they’d hit a rough patch. And, of course, he had his mate. Even though he hadn’t been able to see Casey for a few days, the thought of the man warmed him. Never in his life had he been so happy.

  “Sev!”

  Hearing his brother’s voice, Sev turned and greeted him with a smile. “Good morning, Mikhail.”

  Mikhail threw his arms around Sev’s waist, which startled Sev. His brother had recently declared his hatred of the family, but after the incident in the woods with Casey, he had been quite a different young man. He wrapped his arms around his brother’s shoulders and hugged him close.

  “Where have you been, little brother? I haven’t seen you much.”

  “I went to Mrs. Havanec and apologized for my behavior. She didn’t seem certain I was sincere, but she is allowing me to see Tiam once again.”

  “What changed?”

  Mikhail shifted his eyes down. “He’s my best friend. When I talked about leaving the enclave, I wanted him to go with me, as Casey did with our Protector. I knew if I went alone, I would become lonesome without you and Vadim. Except Tiam didn’t want to go. He said he’s content here, that despite the things Kell told us, he preferred our way of life.”

  “And you?”

  “I’m not sure. I enjoy the enclave, but the world outside is so large, and I would like to see it. Does that make me a bad brother?”

  Sev laughed. “No, of course not. I’ll let you in on a secret.” He got closer to Mikhail and whispered in his ear, “I, too, am curious. Perhaps if our Alpha allows it, Casey could show us a city one day. You’ll soon be old enough to decide what you’d like to do, and you would have my blessing, whichever path you take.”

  Mikhail’s eyes widened, and he hurled himself at Sev again, grabbing him in a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you.”

  “You’re my brother and I want nothing more than to see you happy. What else can I do?”

  ***

  Casey hurried to the Alpha’s quarters with his herb bag when he was told Jake needed to see him. One of the servants ushered him in immediately. He still marveled over the fact that his friends had servants. Zak had been appalled when he found out, but as he discovered that the people wanted to be there, he grudgingly learned to accept the custom. He never asked for much, and sometimes the servants seemed uncertain what to do, as they were used to having the direction.

  Still, they were happy. Elizar had treated them horribly, having no problem with sending them to fight in the pit for any infraction, real or imagined. Now, with Zak in charge, they actually smiled and greeted people while looking them in the eye.

  Casey found Jake seated at the long meeting table, a sly smile on his face. He gestured for Casey to sit. The chair was quite comfortable, much like all the furniture made in the enclave.

  After he was seated, Jake pushed a small package across the table, wrapped in a pretty parchment. Casey guessed Jake must have spoken with Leander, who created his own paper. He cautiously took the package from Jake, noting the fact his friend was trying hard to keep a straight face.

  “What is it?” Casey asked, wary of anything that Jake gave him.

  “A mating gift. It’s not every day that my best friend finds himself someone to have in his life.”

  “Who told you?” Casey asked, unable to meet Jake’s eyes. He continued to examine the small brown item he held in his hands.

  “It’s a small place. Word gets around. Open it,” Jake prodded.

  Trembling fingers worked on the jute tie. When he got the wrap off, making sure to save the paper to give back to Leander, Casey found a small, brightly colored clay pot. It seemed most familiar to him.

  “Isn’t this the one I gave you for Zak’s—”

  Jake howled with laughter. “We thought you might be able to use that.”

  “It’s not funny,” Casey growled.

  "You know, I always thought you had that lustful look when we were in the showers."

  "Don't ever say that," Casey snapped, glancing around.

  "Yeah, and back at school when you said you didn't want to live with me, I assumed it was because you needed space. Now I have to wonder if it really had something to do with Connor. Did he keep you up at night?"

  Casey threw the container at Jake, who plucked it from the air.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jake asked hotly, finally catching on to Casey’s irritation.

  “This is all some big joke to you, isn’t it? I’m not gay.”

  “You’re mated to a man. What do you think that makes you?”

  Forcing himself not to take the bait, Casey bit his tongue.

  “You’re serious, aren’t you? Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

  Casey lifted his shoulders. “I�
�m not mad at you. I’m mad at me. Sev told me he loved me.”

  “And that’s bad because?”

  “I couldn’t say it back.”

  “And again, that’s bad because?”

  “I don’t want to be gay.”

  Jake wrapped an arm around Casey’s shoulder. “Gay, bi, hell, gay for you. What difference does it make? If you love someone, shouldn’t that be all that matters?”

  “I saw in my dreams that we’re still together years into the future. I know that I only see possible futures, because the threads of fate aren’t woven as much as stitched, and one pluck can unravel the whole thing. But I saw it and I longed for that. I don’t understand it at all.”

  “You longed to be with your mate for a full life? Yes, that must be awful. Most people never find that someone who completes them, Casey. If you walk around the enclave, you’ll find people who are happy with the one they love, but in their heart, it won’t ever be the same. They still ache for their mate, say prayers to the spirits to find them. Your mate is here, with you. He loves you. What’s wrong with that?”

  “Because it’s too fast. Because he’s a guy. Because…I think I love him, too, and I’m afraid to say it.”

  “When I first laid eyes on Zak, there was a spark that hit me right in the heart. I didn’t know why, but I knew I wanted him. You know how I was when I caught a whiff of his scent. He was mine that day, even if I wasn’t aware of it yet. Why do you need to put a label on it? You’re in paradise, Case. No one here cares who you’re with. All forms of love are treated equally. So why are you stressing?”

  “I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “I’m going to be twenty-two in a few months. Am I ready for a permanent relationship? What if I decide I want to be with a girl instead?”

  “It doesn’t work like that. If you complete the mating with Sev, he will be the only one you want.”

  Casey moaned pitifully. “What if I find a girl first, then we could form a triad relationship, right?”