When dinnertime arrived, I lost my patience and texted her. I thought you would stop by sometime.
Her response was immediate. I’m still at the office. It’s been a long day.
Join me for dinner. It’d been a long and lonely month without her, so I wanted to be with her, talk to her, make up for the time we’d lost. I didn’t just want to take her to bed. I missed the other aspects of our relationship, the thing that made me fall for her in the first place.
I need thirty minutes.
That’s perfect timing. I went into the kitchen and prepared dinner, grilled chicken on a bed of rice with Brussels sprouts and asparagus. I’d just finished when there was a knock on the door.
“It’s open.”
Cleo stepped inside, dressed in the same outfit she’d put on that morning, an olive-green pencil skirt with a cream button-down shirt tucked into the waistband. Her five-inch heels were back on her feet, giving her the height that would make it much easier to kiss her than it was last night.
“Don’t knock.” I grabbed two plates and set them on the counter.
She walked across the hardwood floor, her heels echoing, and she stared at me, slightly bewildered by my order.
“Just come in.”
She came into the kitchen and joined me at the counter. “I don’t want to invade your privacy—”
“I don’t need privacy from you.” I turned off the burners and faced her, her eyes only slightly lower than mine because in those heels she was five-seven instead of five-two. Her makeup looked as fresh as when she put it on that morning, and her plump lips were a sexy shade of pink. Her blue eyes might be my favorite feature…because they held such kindness, such innocence. Everyone else in this city was riddled with scars, but she still had that small-town-girl quality.
She watched me, her eyes doing that thing I loved—when they relaxed, dropped slightly, filled with a little bit of emotion. The corner of her mouth rose slightly, not making a full smile, but acknowledging the warmth my statement made her feel.
I knew how to be with a woman, but I’d never truly been in a relationship before. My marriage to Valerie entailed my fidelity, but I didn’t kiss her when she walked through the door, didn’t hold her while we slept, didn’t hug her for no reason at all. And all the other women before and after her were just flings.
This was my first real relationship.
So, I just did what I wanted when I felt like it, and right now, I wanted to kiss her. My arm slid around her waist and hugged her lower back, bringing her into me, her chin tilted up like she already knew what was coming.
I brought her lips to mine, giving her a soft kiss that lasted longer than I meant for it to because I struggled to pull away. It was combustible just like last time—the chemistry, the sparks, the physical desire all there. It was just a kiss, but it was enough to make me see the stars, to lose my breath a little, to feel more than I’d ever felt in my life.
I was a man full of nothing.
But she made me feel everything.
I released her but continued to stare, the thoughts swirling in my head like uninterpreted data. I tried to organize everything, to find concrete reasons to explain my feelings, but everything was too complicated for me to understand.
Her hand slid underneath my shirt and rested on my hip, her thumb against one of my abs. It gently rubbed across my skin as she looked up at me through her thick lashes, like she felt everything I’d just felt.
Now that I had her, I didn’t want to lose her.
I knew what it was like to lose her, and I never wanted to go through that again.
It was more painful than my divorce—in a different way.
As if she knew I wanted to say something, she stayed quiet, being patient—like always.
“You make me feel something.” It was a terrible choice of words, but I couldn’t describe it better than that.
She stared into my eyes, hanging on every word.
“Derek was the only one who made me feel emotions, made me feel connected to another person. But you make me feel something too—just in a different way. I’ve always been numb to everything, to people, to the world…but I don’t feel that way with you.”
Her eyes softened.
“You make me feel…everything.”
Her hands moved to my chest, and she stepped closer to me. “You make me feel too.”
I rested my forehead against hers, my hands sliding to her waist. I held her that way for a long time, just feeling the high of chemicals in my brain, the pleasure she gave me, the way she made my heart feel light and airy. “I never want to lose you.”
Her arms rested on mine, her chin tilted up to look at me. “You won’t…because I never want to lose you either.”
She was naked in my bed, her toenails painted pink, her hair scattered across the pillow, her lips anxious for mine.
I dropped my final piece of clothing, my boxers, and then approached the bed, my hard dick ready to return to its happy place. The head was already drooling, getting a drop or two on the rug. I stared at the beautiful woman waiting for me, the woman who made me forget the nameless and faceless women who had been there before. I was never alive with them. But with her, I burned brighter than the sun.
My knees hit the bed and I moved up her body, but I stopped at her waist. I lay on my stomach, scooped up her ass with both arms, and then pressed a kiss to her wet sex.
She hadn’t expected it, but she arched her back immediately and released a suppressed moan. Her hand immediately went to my head, her fingertips digging into my hair, and she held on like she needed something to grab on to.
I tasted her, fulfilled an urge I tried to pretend I never had. And she tasted exactly like I thought—vanilla ice cream. My entire mouth sealed over her pussy, and I sucked, devouring her entrance and doing exactly what I wanted, my dick oozing onto the bed underneath me. My hands pushed her legs farther back, getting more access to the feature that now obsessed me. I’d been a sexual person since I hit puberty. It was a biological gift, a pleasure we got to enjoy for no reason at all, to lower blood pressure, to reduce stress, to sleep better. It supposedly created intimacy between two partners, but that had never been my experience—until now.
She rolled her head back and continued to moan, her nails digging into the flesh of my shoulders, leaving scratches that would take days to heal. She pushed herself back into me, shoving her entrance in my face like she loved it.
Good. Because I loved it too.
She started to whimper as if she were in pain. Her breaths came out as hisses through her clenched teeth, and then she bucked her hips aggressively, her body giving in to the powerful pleasure that swept through her. “Yes…oh my god.” She panted through her pleasure, her breaths slowly returning to normal, her nails being kinder to my flesh.
I gave her a final kiss before I moved farther up her body, my hips wedging between her thighs, my dick sliding between her soaked lips, getting coated with her arousal and my own saliva. I held my body on top of hers, my face lowering until we were close together.
Her eyes were still full of desire, as if that climax wasn’t enough for her and she wanted more. Her palms flattened against my chest and slid to my shoulders, her fingertips soft against my skin. She pulled her knees back, opening herself to me, impatient.
I was in no hurry.
I loved to stare at her. I loved to take it slow. With the others, it was hot kisses all the way to the bed, and then I shoved my dick inside her as quickly as possible. We fucked hard, and then it was over.
I didn’t have that urge with Cleo.
I enjoyed every second, watched the way her chest rose and fell quickly, as if her heart needed more oxygen without cardiovascular stress. She was just anxious for me, excited for me. Her nipples pebbled into little mounds, and her small tits still formed a sexy cleavage line. I loved her body, from the sexy lips of her mouth to the ones between her legs.
When she couldn’t wait any longer, she
grabbed my hips and pulled me into her.
My cock found her entrance like it knew exactly where it was, like it knew everything about her after a single night together. I felt her overwhelming wetness first and then her tightness.
Fuck.
I sank deeper, my cock forcing her channel to open, to take every inch even though it barely fit. My breathing deepened the farther it went, my balls tightening toward my body because it felt so good.
I felt like I was having sex for the first time.
Her hands snaked around my torso and planted against my back once she had all of me, her knees squeezing my hips, her ankles crossed and resting against my ass. She breathed loudly against my lips, her eyes glossy and warm.
Fuck, I loved being inside her.
I kissed her, letting her taste herself, showing her how much she desired me…as if she didn’t already know. I started to move seconds later, slowly sliding through her tightness and back out again, taking my time because every single touch was profound. When I fucked a woman I picked up in a bar, it was always hard and fast, trying to feel sensation through the latex that separated us. But with Cleo, I could feel all of her…and damn.
I stopped kissing her because it was sensory overload. Just a kiss from her made me so hard I wanted to burst inside my boxers, so an embrace while my dick was deep inside her was too much. I couldn’t handle it. I pulled my lips away and looked into her gaze, her blue eyes sexy because they looked into mine with the same desire, with the same intimacy. She slid her hand up my neck and cupped my cheek, giving me a look she never had before, like I was her entire world.
She was mine.
“Deacon…” She whispered my name as she stared at me, seeing me for all that I was, accepting me for all my difficulties, putting up with my shit when no one else even bothered to try.
I considered myself so damn lucky.
Why had I ever been scared of this?
It was beautiful, it was real, it was easy…
I could have had this all along.
All the lights were still on in the condo because I didn’t care enough to turn them off. My bedroom was dark because we hadn’t turned on the lamps when we came inside. The Manhattan lights were visible through the floor-to-ceiling windows, the city quiet because of the thick glass that surrounded us in silence.
Normally, I’d stare into the darkness, just the way Derek stared at an anthill.
But instead, I stared at her.
I was on my back with my arm around her, her face against my shoulder. I looked down at her, feeling her leg hooked over mine under the sheets, her perfume already absorbed into everything she touched—including me.
I never cuddled with women, but with Cleo, it felt as good as sex.
Better, in some ways.
My fingers moved into her hair, and I gently played with the strands, loving the way they felt against my fingertips, their softness. My breathing was gentle and easy, and hers was the same, in sync with mine.
I had no idea what time it was because my phone had been abandoned in the other room, and I couldn’t see the clock on my nightstand. But I knew it was late, judging by the fatigue behind my eyes. But I stayed awake because my mind was so fascinated by the woman who hugged me like a stuffed animal.
She suddenly sighed and pressed a kiss to my chest before she sat up.
I stilled at her movements, watched her shift away from me. “What are you doing?”
She stopped, her body just a few feet away from mine. “Leaving. I should get going.”
I stared at her blankly, not understanding this at all. “Why?” This wasn’t a one-night stand, a booty call like Natalie had been. She couldn’t make my sheets smell like roses and then just leave.
“Because if I leave in the morning, everyone will see I’m wearing the same outfit as yesterday. They’ll know I slept here.”
I grabbed her wrist and tugged her back, bringing her to my place on the bed. “Who cares if they know?” My hand moved into her hair, and I kissed her, holding her on top of me, feeling her tits rub against my chest.
She kissed me back, her hand flattening against my chest like my affection immediately dwarfed her desire to leave. She moved farther on top of me, her hand resting over my heart. She sucked my bottom lip before she pulled away slightly, her eyes opening and looking into mine. “I’m not allowed to get involved with my clients… It’s kind of a big rule.”
My hand slid from her hair and moved around her waist instead, making her back arch subtly.
“So, I need to go home every night, so they don’t figure it out.”
I didn’t realize she wasn’t allowed to be with me, that this was a hurdle in a relationship it took so long for us to have. “You can bring a change of clothes. Change before you leave.”
“That’s risky, Deacon. Someone is bound to notice me bringing a bag to work all the time.”
“Then we’ll buy you a whole new wardrobe and everything you need. They’ll never know.”
Her eyes softened.
My hand moved to her ass, my favorite thing to squeeze. “But I don’t think relationships are supposed to be a secret, Cleo. I don’t want to have to sneak around all the time. I don’t want to hide the second most important relationship in my life. That would be like pretending not to have a son…”
“I know,” she whispered. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve wanted you so much, but I’ve never thought this far down the road…because I didn’t think this would actually happen.” She dropped her gaze, turning quiet as the thoughts traveled through her mind. “I don’t want to get caught and lose my job, and I don’t want to walk away from this relationship either.”
I hated the dilemma in her eyes, the way her expression tightened in stress when it was so beautiful and carefree a moment ago. “Hey.” My hand slid into her hair again, pulling it from her face as I directed her stare on me. “We’ll figure it out.” My thumb brushed across her soft cheek.
She looked into my gaze, that soft expression returning.
“I’ll move.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You would do that?”
I was staring at the most beautiful woman in the world, the only person in the world who understood me, the person who had always been loyal to me. She bent over backward to help me. I’d do anything for her. “Yes.”
She inhaled a deep breath, like that meant the world to her. “Deacon…I don’t want you to leave when you love it here. And I love seeing you all the time.”
“Whatever we decide, we stay together.” My fingers dug farther into her hair. “Alright?”
An emotional smile moved onto her lips.
“We’ll figure it out.” I didn’t want to leave this building, not when it was in the perfect location, close to my mom and brother. I also loved the amenities, having someone take care of everything for me so I wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. It was a major step up from Jeremiah. And since every residence received the same amenities, the other tenants hardly showed their faces because they never needed to check their mail or organize their deliveries. It felt like I had the building to myself. “There’s a solution to every problem. And we’ll find it.”
She looked at me in a whole new way, her eyes shifting back and forth and gazing into mine, as if she couldn’t believe what I’d just said. Her hand slid over my chest before she tugged the sheets down from my waist. She straddled my hips, dropping her pussy onto my hard length.
Because I was always hard with her.
She guided my crown to her entrance and slowly sank down, inching closer until my balls rested against her ass.
I held myself up on a single elbow, my eyes practically rolling to the back of my head because this felt as incredible as it always did.
Her hand pushed into my chest, forcing me back until I was flat.
Then she arched her back and moved farther over me, before she started to bounce and grind, handling my dick like she could feel what I felt. Her palms flattened against m
y chest, and she rode me, her tits shaking, her hair down over her chest, her blue eyes on me with her lips parted.
I held on to her hips and clenched my jaw, because she made me want to come the second she was around my length, gripping me with the force of a snake, with the wetness of a soaked sponge. “Fuck…”
Eighteen
Cleo
He picked me up at my apartment.
Once the door was open, he stepped inside and slid his arm around my waist. I wasn’t in heels, so he had to bend his neck down to kiss me, and he tightened his hold on my lower back as he tugged me against his hard body.
I melted so fucking fast.
My arms circled his neck, and my lips trembled against his, his sexy kiss always blowing me away, always making my toes curl whether I wore shoes or not. A man had never made me feel this way, physically elated me and emotionally fulfilled me. Deacon was my best friend, but he was also the best dick I’d ever had.
That made me lose my mind every time we were together.
He pulled away, taking his touch with him. He saw my bag on the couch and hooked the strap over his shoulder.
“So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I already had a strong suspicion where he was taking me, but I chose to let him surprise me.
“The cabin.” He came back to me, towering over me, his espresso eyes darkening even further when he looked into my face.
That was the answer I was hoping for. “That sounds nice.”
His arm moved around my waist again, holding me close. “Tucker gave me the idea.”
“Oh?”
“Asked if he could bring a girl because it would be the perfect place to fuck for the weekend. Well, I’m going to bring my girl and do just that.” He gave me another gentle kiss before he moved to the door.
He kept doing that…making me melt like a piece of chocolate on a s’more. A whole weekend of privacy, of lovemaking in a cabin on the lake, of doing whatever I wanted without having to operate in secrecy… It sounded like the nicest thing ever. At the Trinity Building, I had to be careful, sneak out early in the morning before everyone else came to work. It was exhausting, not sexy and taboo like some people might assume. I loved my job and didn’t want to lose it. It gave me gratification, gave me something to be proud of. The reason I was good at my job was because I genuinely enjoyed taking care of other people. But I was risking it all for Deacon…because he was worth the risk.
The Man Who Has No Heart (Soulless Book 2) Page 16
