‘It’s my Christmas present to you,’ she said, walking over to loop her arms around his neck. ‘Because I couldn’t think what else to get you. The man who has everything.’
‘Best gift I’ve ever had,’ he said unevenly. ‘Which I’m now about to unwrap.’
The eggs were cold by the time they got around to eating them and afterwards they walked through the snow to Central Park, going by Grand Army Plaza and ending up in Bryant Park. Sophie’s cheeks were glowing by the time they got back and Rafe made steak and salad. They ate their meal beside the tiny Christmas tree they’d put together with decorations bought from Bergdorf Goodman And when they’d cleared away the dishes, he handed her a curved package, wrapped in holly-covered paper.
‘Happy Christmas, Sophie,’ he said.
Her fingers were trembling as she opened it and, even though it was probably the most inexpensive gift she’d ever been given, she couldn’t remember receiving anything which had given her quite so much pleasure. It was a snow globe. A miniature version of the Rockefeller Christmas tree, which he’d taken her to see the moment his jet had touched down in the city. She shook it and the rainbow sparkle was momentarily obscured by the thick white swirl of flakes.
‘Oh, Rafe,’ she said, trying not to let emotion creep into her voice. ‘It’s...beautiful.’
‘To remind you of New York,’ he said. ‘When you’re back in Isolaverde.’
‘Yes.’
The word fell between them like a heavy stone. What was it going to be like? she wondered and now the pain in her heart was very sharp. It wasn’t settling back into life as a princess after all this that she was worried about—it was the thought of not having Rafe which was making her feel so utterly wretched. She tried to imagine waking up in the morning and him not there beside her and she thought how quickly you could get used to something, which had been the very best thing in your life.
‘Have you considered what you’re going to do?’ His question cut into her troubled thoughts. ‘Are you going to be content spending your days cutting ribbons and pulling curtains away from little bronze plaques?’
‘No. I’ve realised that things are going to have to be different.’ She forced herself to think about her royal life. A life which was a whole world away. ‘I don’t just want to be a royal clothes horse any more. I want to do more behind-the-scenes work with my charities, and I’m going to have to work out some kind of satisfactory role for myself.’
‘That’s the professional Sophie talking,’ he said. ‘But what about the personal one?’
She stared at him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Isn’t it obvious? Has what happened with Luc scarred you? Or do you want to meet someone one day and marry them, and have children of your own?’
She shifted her position on the sofa, flinching as if he had scraped his fingernails over an open wound. She realised that nobody had ever asked her such a bluntly personal question before because nobody would ever have dared. And somehow his words got to her. They made her want the impossible and the resulting pain was so deep that she spoke straight from the heart.
‘Of course I want that. Most women do,’ she admitted quietly, her cheeks colouring a little, because she realised there was only one man she wanted to do that with and he was right in front of her. ‘But there are all kinds of obstacles to that happening so it’s unlikely I’ll ever get it.’
‘What kind of obstacles?’
She chose her words carefully. ‘Well, meeting a man is fraught with difficulties. It would really only work if I married someone suitable and the pool of eligible princes isn’t exactly big.’ She could feel her skin colouring as she stared at the tumbling snowflakes outside the window. ‘Anyway, that’s all in the future, which starts tomorrow. Because tomorrow’s Boxing Day and while I’m heading for the Mediterranean, you’ll be hurtling down the side of some snow-covered mountain in Vermont. Lucky you. You hadn’t forgotten, had you?’
‘No, I hadn’t forgotten,’ he said, turning her face towards his so that his silver gaze was on a collision course with hers. ‘But right now, the thought of skiing is less appealing than taking you back to bed for the rest of the day.’
‘Making the most of the few hours we have left, you mean?’ she questioned brightly.
‘No. Not just that.’
His voice had hardened and Sophie screwed up her nose in confusion. ‘What, then?’
Rafe shook his head. He’d tried to blot it out. To make like it didn’t matter, but he was discovering that this new yearning deep inside him did matter. And maybe it would always matter unless he did something about it. So do it. Do it now. He cleared his throat. ‘What if I came up with an alternative solution? Something which meant you wouldn’t have to go back to your old life. A solution which might suit both our...needs?’
She stared at him. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Then hear me out.’ He paused. ‘I’ve been doing some thinking. In fact, a lot of thinking. About something Ambrose said to me at the christening.’
He met the question in her blue eyes as the enormity of what he was about to do hit him and his heart clenched with something like pain as he realised he was on the verge of doing what he’d spent his life trying to avoid. But even the fear wasn’t enough to stop him. He remembered holding his little nephew. The warmth and milky smell of him. The curly hair which had brushed against his cheek. Most of all, he remembered the sudden rush of yearning which had flooded through him and the realisation that having a child would be the only way he could heal the scars of his past. ‘My father asked who I was going to leave my fortune to and I told him that I was planning for it to go to charity,’ he said. ‘But in that moment I realised that I wanted what I’d never had.’
‘I don’t understand,’ she whispered.
There was another pause before he said it. Words he knew would create a line in the sand which he could never step back from.
‘A family,’ he said. ‘A real family.’
She leaned forward, her hand reaching out to take one of his. ‘Tell me,’ she whispered.
And suddenly Rafe needed no prompting. He felt her fingers curling around his. Heard the loud beat of his heart. And the words just came tumbling out. ‘Although come from a big family, I grew up not knowing my brothers or sister. My father kicked my mother out because of her behaviour and as a consequence, she and I were estranged from the rest of the Carter clan for years.’
‘Because of her behaviour?’
His mouth twisted. ‘Just how open-minded are you prepared to be, Sophie? How easily do you shock? My mother liked men. She liked them a lot. More than anything else.’ There was a pause and his mouth flattened. ‘Much more than me.’
‘Oh, Rafe.’
He shook his head to silence her. ‘After her divorce, she wasn’t looking for a replacement husband because her divorce payment had set her up very nicely. Her idea of fun was having the freedom to ensnare some hot young lover.’
She nodded, as if she was absorbing his words. ‘And what happened to you, while she was doing that?’
He shrugged. ‘I used to sit alone in hotel suites,’ he said. ‘Watching as she appeared in the tightest dress she could get away with—usually with her second or third martini in her hand. Sometimes she would come back that night, but often she didn’t rock up until the morning. I can’t count the number of strange men I encountered the next day amid the empty champagne bottles and cigarette butts.’ His words grew reflective. ‘Most kids hate being sent away to boarding school, but you know something? I loved it because it was safe and ordered and structured. It was the holidays I dreaded.’
‘Of course you did,’ she said, her gaze meeting his. ‘But why are you telling me all this?’
He didn’t look away, just stared straight into her bright, blue eyes. ‘Because when I held Nick and
Molly’s little boy in my arms, I realised what I’d been missing. I realised I wanted what I’d never had. A family of my own.’ His voice deepened. ‘And I think I could have one with you.’
Sophie’s heart began to pound, not sure whether to feel elated or confused. Dared she hope that his feelings had been changing, too? Was he hinting at the kind of future she had secretly started to wish for? Oh, please, she prayed. Please. ‘Me?’
He nodded. ‘Yes, you. You told me you’d like a family one day, well, so would I. You told me all the reasons that might not happen and I’m giving you all the reasons why it could. I can’t offer you love, but maybe that isn’t necessary since you are obviously a pragmatic woman. You told me you didn’t love Luc but you obviously recognise that arranged marriages can and do work.’
‘Did you say marriage?’ she echoed cautiously.
‘I did,’ he agreed, and now his voice deepened. ‘Because I can’t see that it could happen any other way.’
‘You would marry me simply to achieve your dream of having a family?’
‘Your dream, too,’ he pointed out. ‘And no, not just that. There are plenty of other reasons why it could work. We are compatible in many ways, Sophie—you know we are.’
Sophie was so appalled by how badly wrong she’d got it. She’d been thinking about love and clearly he was focussed on sex. ‘In bed, you mean?’
‘Yes, in bed. I have never wanted a woman as much as I want you. I only have to look at you to...well, you know what happens to me when I look at you.’ He smiled. ‘But this is about more than sex. You don’t bore me or rely on me to entertain you. And if you agree to marry me, I will promise to be faithful to you—of that I give you my vow. To be a good husband and a good father to our children. To support you in whatever you want to do.’ His eyes were as bright as quicksilver as they burned into her. ‘So what do you say? Will you be my wife, Sophie?’
It was a big question and Sophie knew the importance of taking your time with big questions, just as she knew you should never let your expression give away what was going on inside your head. She’d often thought a royal upbringing would have been great preparation for a career as a professional poker player and, although she’d never been remotely tempted by gambling, she was able to draw on those skills now.
So she hid her bitter disappointment that there had been no breakthrough in Rafe’s emotions. Was she deluded enough to think he’d started to care for her, just because her own feelings had started to change? Hadn’t he told her right from the start that he didn’t do love? Now she knew more about him, she could see why. She could understand his trust issues and the reason why he’d never settled down. His childhood sounded grim and the cushion of his parents’ wealth had probably made it worse. If he’d been abandoned by his mother and left to fend for himself in some grimy tenement block, the authorities would have stepped in and acted. But in the protected air-conditioned world of the luxury hotel suite, nobody would have even known.
And then there had been another betrayal—an even greater one, by Sharla. Wouldn’t a child of his own help him get over that terrible loss?
She looked into his grey eyes. He had vowed to be faithful and she believed him. He wouldn’t do what Luc had done and lose his heart to someone else. During his own childhood, he’d seen the devastation that infidelity could wreak and he wouldn’t want to replicate that. He’d never had a chance to create a family unit of his own and yet that was what he yearned for above all else. This powerful man with so much wealth at his disposal wanted nothing more than a baby.
And so did she.
His baby.
Why shouldn’t an arranged marriage work? Some people considered romantic love to be an unrealistic ideal and maybe they were right. The marriage of her own parents had been arranged, and theirs had been a long and happy union. Why couldn’t she have that with Rafe—and all the things which went with it? The companionship and the sex, and the feeling safe. Better no love than pretend love, surely? And sometimes love could grow...
She looked at him. ‘But what would I do—as your wife?’
His grey eyes gleamed. ‘You can do what the hell you want, Sophie. Just think about what you achieved on Poonbarra.’
‘You mean I progressed from being unable to recognise a tin-opener to making a pie which apparently you described to Andy as “ordinary”?’
He laughed. ‘He wasn’t supposed to tell you that. I just don’t like pie. But you’re capable of anything you want to be.’
And it was that which swung it for Sophie. It was the same feeling which had come over her when she’d looked up at the stars, on that ocean-going yacht travelling out to Australia. That same sense of wonder and, yes...hope. It was the most empowering thing anyone had ever said to her and she could hear the ring of sincerity in his voice.
‘Then yes, I’ll marry you,’ she said, in a low voice. ‘And have a family with you and be faithful and true to you. Because I think you’re right. I think we are compatible in many ways.’
He looked down into her face. ‘We will make a good life together, Sophie,’ he said. ‘I promise you that.’
The effect of his smile made her emotions dip and wobble. And too much emotion was dangerous. She needed to remember that. This was only going to work if she kept it real. So she sucked in a deep breath and gave a cool smile. ‘Yes, we will,’ she said.
‘Now, isn’t it customary to seal an engagement with a kiss?’ He pulled her into his arms, his mouth hovering close to hers. ‘And then to buy a ring worthy of a princess?’
She brushed an admonitory finger over his lips, even though her body had begun to prickle with anticipation. ‘Not quite so fast. The ring we can deal with but there’s a protocol to marrying someone like me. Before we do anything, you’re going to have to come to Isolaverde and ask my brother for his permission.’
CHAPTER TEN
SOPHIE’S HEART WAS racing as they were summoned into the throne room of the Isolaverdian palace. She could hear her high heels clipping over the polished marble floor, past all the beautiful oil paintings of her ancestors towards the dais at the far end.
It felt like forever since she’d last been here and the significance of the magnificent setting was never lost on her. It was where her brother had been crowned after the sudden death of their father and where their grief-stricken mother had sat, keeping vigil over the late King’s coffin.
As she heard the heavy clang of the double doors slamming shut behind them, Sophie thought about everything she’d seen and done since she’d last seen her brother. California and an ocean crossing. The heat and dust of the Australian Outback, the silent snow of the Cotswolds and then the high-octane holiday glitter of New York. And now she was back on her island home, feeling a bit like a stranger on her home territory with the man beside her about to ask the King for her hand in marriage.
As they took their seats she wondered if Rafe was dazzled by the twin thrones before them—where diamonds, rubies and emeralds as big as gulls’ eggs glittered in the winter sunshine. One throne sat empty—waiting for the wife her brother seemed so reluctant to find, for it was rumoured he had a mistress who was preventing him from fulfilling his destiny. Not for the first time, Sophie acknowledged the inequality of one rule for royal men and a different one for women. Myron had been allowed to have as much sex as he wanted, while she’d been supposed to save her virginity until her wedding night. How unfair was that? She moistened her lips with her tongue as she stared at the imposing figure of her brother, his dark face stern, his legs crossed with the carelessness of a man born to rule, as he leaned back against his throne.
‘I understand that you have provided both sanctuary and protection for my sister,’ said the King, without preamble. ‘For which I owe you a great debt as well as my thanks, and for which you will be rewarded accordingly. The Princess has behaved in a way wh
ich was undoubtedly headstrong, but she is home now and everything is as it should be. Whether your desire is for land or capital, I shall endeavour to grant you your wish, Carter.’ He gave a wry smile. ‘Within reason, of course.’
Rafe smiled back. ‘I’m very honoured to receive Your Majesty’s offer,’ he said diplomatically. ‘But it was no hardship to give your sister my protection and, indeed, she fended for herself most admirably for many months. Months during which my men assured me she was the best cook they’ve ever had on the station.’
A glitter of irritation iced the King’s blue eyes. ‘I have no desire to imagine the Princess in a position of such servitude. Let us discuss how best you will be recompensed instead.’
‘But, Your Majesty,’ said Rafe silkily, ‘I have no need or desire for any financial reward. I have no desire to accept payment for what was my pleasure.’
Nervously Sophie resisted the invitation to chew the inside of her mouth. Didn’t Rafe realise that refusing Myron’s offer was the last thing he should do if he wanted to keep him onside? That it was bad form to refuse the King anything?
Nothing was said for a moment as both men engaged in a silent battle of wills.
‘As you wish,’ said Myron eventually, unable to hide another flicker of irritation when it became clear Rafe had no intention of backing down. ‘But on the other matter you brought to my attention when you first arrived, I’m afraid I cannot be quite so reasonable. You say you wish to marry my sister?’ He raised his eyebrows before shaking his head. ‘I’m afraid this will not be possible, for reasons I’m sure I don’t need to spell out for you.’
Rafe nodded and then, very deliberately, reached out and put his hand over Sophie’s. Had he done that to hide the sudden trembling of her fingers from her brother? she wondered.
A Royal Vow of Convenience Page 12
