by Rachel Jonas
“I guess I was just thinking too much, and … I don’t know,” I added with a shrug. “I’m a little tired of feeling invisible.”
Liam leaned forward, letting his elbows rest on his knees as he watched the floor. For a split second, I thought I might’ve hurt his feelings, might’ve made him feel like having him here wasn’t enough, then I remembered who I was talking to—a man who knew me inside and out. I had to trust he knew this was about my parents.
“Today’s my birthday,” I shared. “Well, according to you, it’s not my real birthday, but it’s the day I’ve been celebrating these past eighteen years.”
It was Liam who revealed that the date reflected on my birth certificate was inaccurate, that Nick and I had to have come into existence simultaneously—the night of the super harvest moon in September. However, November 10th was the day I was accustomed to celebrating.
Only, this year, no one remembered.
Because no one who knew remembered me.
“I’m sorry,” Liam said solemnly. “I had no idea.”
I waved him off with a casual smile. “How could you have? It’s fine.”
My eyes followed him when he stood from the couch, headed for his dresser. He took a bag from the top drawer. When he came back and handed it over, I eyed him.
“I didn’t know today was important, but I still thought of you.”
My smile grew a little bigger. Not because I had any kind of expectations for what was inside, but because he thought of me at all.
Peering into the bag, I laughed. “Candy!”
He smiled. “Yeah, we’ve got all the good stuff a few floors up in one of the staff lounges. I figured I’d stock you up.”
It was so strange that he knew something so trivial about me, that I had a penchant for sweets, but it was nice to feel like someone did, in fact, know me.
Nice to be reminded that I hadn’t disappeared.
The smile on his face warmed a bit. I stared while his eyes wandered toward mine, only after leaving my lips. When he came back with the bag, neither of us had been mindful of the space I intentionally left between us before. It was nonexistent now and I felt it.
Felt him.
His heat.
His soul.
A large hand came toward me slowly, and despite knowing I should have, I didn’t pull away. It rested on the side of my neck. Liam’s thumb stroked the tender flesh behind my ear and it felt like all the air had left the room when he spoke.
“I know having me around will never make up for not having your parents, but … you’re not alone,” he breathed. “Not here. Not anywhere.”
Like always, he got to me. So much so, I had to look away, accidentally turning my face into his hand where my lips brushed his palm. The contact made my eyes drift closed as his fingers slipped further back, into my hair. He didn’t pull me closer, but I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have let him if he tried.
I was so on fire for him. Something about his touch always made me feel beautiful and complete without him having to say anything. I didn’t think such a thing was possible before finding him.
“You’re tense,” he observed. “I was always pretty good at helping you relieve stress when you needed to. I can still do that now if you’re open to it.”
Liam’s husky voice made my eyes pop open when those words sent my thoughts stampeding in one direction, and one direction only—toward the gutter. His expression was surprisingly calm and collected. Meanwhile, I felt myself starting to sweat along my hairline.
“I um … I don’t think we … Maybe …” I stood midsentence, moving toward the door as heat crept up my legs and back. I seemed to always be running from him, from the things he made me feel.
“I’m gonna go,” I blurted.
Liam stood, too, but when a deep line creased at the center of his brow, I got the impression my sudden attempt to flee confused him.
“Did I say something wrong?”
I paused, hating myself when my feet stopped moving. I should’ve been halfway to my room by now. I exhaled sharply and let my eyes fall closed while I wrestled with two warring arguments contending inside me. One telling me to run away from there as quickly as I could. The other urging me to stick around and see what happened next.
I couldn’t, though.
We couldn’t.
“If we … you know … it would blur too many lines,” I said in a rush. “I just think that, for now, we have too many other things we need to focus on.”
I finished speaking and expected to open my eyes to find disappointment on Liam’s face.
Not a smile as he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to keep from laughing.
“I, uh … was thinking more along the lines of us meeting early to spar. I thought we might kill two birds with one stone—get some moves under your belt, and also let you blow off some steam,” he explained, making me wish there was a black hole for me to jump into at the moment. Anything to save me the embarrassment of putting my big, stupid foot in my mouth.
Of course he hadn’t meant … that.
I covered my face with both hands and there was no point in trying to pretend I wasn’t embarrassed. “Oh my gosh … I thought you meant … Oh my gosh.”
The sound of Liam laughing while I stared at the insides of my eyelids nearly killed me.
“I need to point out that you didn’t seem totally against the idea, though,” he joked, barely getting the words out as he chuckled.
“Oh my gosh,” I mumbled into my palms again. “You weren’t clear and … you’re a guy, so … I just assumed you meant … that, but … clearly, you didn’t. I’m … oh my gosh. I’m so sorry.”
I felt like such an idiot for thinking he’d be anything but a perfect gentleman.
His fingers looped around my wrists and slowly pulled my hands away from my face. I couldn’t look at him, but felt him staring right through me.
“Don’t apologize,” he insisted. “If it makes you feel any better, right after the words left my mouth, that’s exactly where my mind went, too, so … ”
I smiled big, and probably blushed a bunch, too, hearing him admit that.
“If both our minds are a little dirty, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he added.
His stare persisted and I finally gave in to meet his gaze, feeling heat spread across my face again when I did. Happened every time.
“It’s not a big deal,” he smiled. “So, you’ll meet me in the morning?”
I took a deep breath, considering the offer—the real offer—and then nodded. I definitely needed the one-on-one time before our next combat module began in a couple weeks.
“Okay, yeah,” I replied, chewing the side of my lip to keep from grinning again as he continued to hold my wrists. “I’ll meet you.”
It was impossible to deny the relief I felt when giving in to him. His smile broadened and he sealed the deal. “Four a.m.”
—Chapter Sixteen—
Evie
I did my best to move around our room without waking Beth, but when a headful of messy, blonde hair lifted from her pillow, it meant I failed.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
It was, literally, not even the crack of dawn yet, but I was due to meet Liam in less than ten minutes. That would give us an hour for him to show me whatever he could before I needed to be back here for another shower. Then, we both had to get to his class.
Beth rubbed her eyes and sat up instead of turning back over like I would have. “Where the heck are you sneaking off to?”
I wasn’t sneaking, per se, but I definitely hadn’t planned on getting caught. I even hoped to get back to our room before she woke up. Specifically, to avoid this question.
My lack of a timely answer earned me a suspicious glare from Beth’s half-opened eyes. I had to say something.
“Uh, just kind of a tutoring thing,” I stammered, tying one black sneaker before moving on to the other.
“A tutoring thing?” The question w
as dripping with sarcasm and I knew I hadn’t convinced her that my leaving out this early was innocent.
Although it was.
Completely.
When she smiled and leaned against her headboard, I wasn’t expecting her to say what left her mouth next.
“Yeah, right. You’re meeting Nick, aren’t you? He looked kinda sad when you left the party early last night.”
I stood from the bed and slipped the elastic band from around my wrist to pull my hair up.
“Um … no. It really is a tutoring thing,” I said quietly. “I’m getting some training before we move on to the next combat module.” I did my best to make that sound as uninteresting as possible. Deep down, in the part of my psyche I couldn’t control, I didn’t want Beth to tag along.
I wanted it to just be Liam and I.
Being here ate up a lot of our time. I had responsibilities and so did he. That shouldn’t have felt like such an inconvenience, but … it did. If I was being honest, I was looking forward to this morning for many reasons, but one of them was definitely just that I wanted to hang out with him.
When it was just us, he was softer. He had so many stories and details about my past, I could listen to him talk all day and never get bored or tired of hearing his voice.
My thoughts snagged on that confession—the fact that I liked hearing him speak, the fact that I found the depth and confidence mesmerizing at times.
Beth was quiet. Too quiet.
“Is this ‘tutoring thing’ with Liam?” she asked.
I wished I could have seen her face through the darkness, but I purposely kept most of the lights off. The only one keeping me from tripping over my own feet was the dim glow from the closet.
Was she wearing one of those judgey, parent faces right now?
I wasn’t sure what to say, so I went with the truth.
“Yeah. Actually, it is.”
She was quiet for a bit, but then asked a follow-up question that made her suspicion a little clearer.
“If it’s combat training, shouldn’t you be meeting with Dallas, Kas, or Martinez?” There was a long pause. “I thought Liam’s specialty was history.”
I didn’t say a word, just continued to braid the ponytail I just secured.
“Relax,” Beth said with a laugh as she plopped back down on her pillow. “I’m just giving you a hard time.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding in.
Tiptoeing around Beth had been so difficult. Liam and I weren’t anything certain or solid other than friends, but I’ll be the first to admit our connection was strangely deep and hard to understand. I was sure people, other than me, had to have noticed it.
But I was extra careful around Beth, and that sucked. Not only was she incredibly observant, she was also the best friend I’d made since moving to Seaton Falls. And what complicated the situation more was the fact that she and Nick were friends long before I came onto the scene.
In other words, I had no idea where her loyalty lie.
I was sure the answer to that question was now, and would always be: both. However, I couldn’t expect her to understand this thing with Liam.
He was nothing to me and … everything.
He was, literally, the only thing my soul couldn’t seem to stop wanting no matter how hard I fought against it.
“How long ago did you know him?” she asked, catching me off guard with the somewhat invasive question. No, it wouldn’t have been under normal circumstances, but ours were anything but normal.
“We, uh … not long before I moved here,” I lied. She didn’t leave me much of a choice.
Beth knew Liam’s age—his real age—because he revealed it to us in class. But I also knew she was more knowledgeable than many of the others, myself included. Age, within our races, was relative. Still, even if she was making allowances for that, she didn’t need to. His age, in comparison to mine, wasn’t strange. My soul had been around for nearly nine-hundred years just like his. He was old, but so was I.
A reality I still hadn’t wrapped my head around.
“So, I take it you and Nick are really over?”
I swallowed the hurt that rose in my throat when she brought him up again. “Honestly? I don’t know what to think anymore. Things just got really complicated, really quickly.”
At the risk of her thinking the only complication was Liam, I kept my mouth shut. I hadn’t gone into detail about what Nick was, or what any of that meant for me. Partly, because that was for him to share when he was ready. Partly, because I didn’t want to talk about it. With how close we had become, I never would’ve guessed we’d be so distant, basically living under the same roof.
Ironic.
When I didn’t add more, Beth sighed and I turned her way as her bed creaked a little. She was sitting up again, but I couldn’t make out her expression. Only her silhouette against the light coming from the closet.
“You know you don’t have to be all cryptic with me, right?”
I played dumb. “I know. There’s just nothing to tell.”
It was clear my response pissed her off a little because she sighed again, and I imagined her rolling her eyes this time.
“It’s just … I know you and Nick were friends first and—”
“Dude, stop,” she cut in. “Yeah, Nick and I are cool, but it’s mostly because we’ve known each other all our lives and support each other when it comes to sports, but we’re all supportive in that way.”
I listened, but didn’t say anything yet. Maybe still feeling a bit skeptical.
“In case you haven’t noticed, you’re kinda one of my favorite people, so I’m gonna need you to loosen up,” she said with a chuckle. “Nick’s a decent guy, but you’re one of the best friends I’ve got, Evie.”
Her words hit me right in the heart. We clicked from day one, but I was sure I clung to her more than she clung to me. She had family and friends and teammates, but apparently, she counted me among those she cared about as well.
Hearing her say this would have meant a lot under any circumstances, but considering the current state of my life, I needed to hear it.
“So, we agree it’s time you stop walking on eggshells around me, right?”
“Agreed.”
I nodded, feeling like a load had been lifted off me with this unexpected conversation. Beth didn’t know all I’d lost, but she had definitely made my time here a lot less lonely than it would’ve been.
I checked the time. Liam was probably already waiting in the hall.
“Ok, I’m out. Get some sleep. Sorry again for waking you,” I said in a rush as I slipped my ID tag around my neck.
Her head hit the pillow with a thud. “No worries, but I’m gonna hold a grudge for last night until your grandkids have grandkids,” she said with a laugh.
With my hand on the door, I turned toward her, unsure of what she meant. “Because I left the party early?”
She yawned, so I had to wait for an answer. “No. For talking my freakin’ ear off in your sleep.”
Hearing that, I temporarily forgot I was running late.
“Wait, I was talking? What the heck did I say?” I laughed, but was honestly nervous I might’ve mumbled something stupid or embarrassing.
“Couldn’t tell you,” she sighed, getting situated beneath her comforter. “I don’t speak French.”
I thought I misheard her. “French?”
“Sounded like it to me. I mean, I only completed one semester of it a couple years ago, but I’m pretty sure.” She got quiet, but then laughed. “You went on so long and I couldn’t wake you, so I got my phone out and recorded some of it. Partly because I knew you wouldn’t believe me, but mostly it was for future blackmail opportunities,” she joked.
“But I don’t … speak French.”
She was quiet and so was I.
I took my phone from my back pocket. It would have been easiest to ask her to send the recording right to me, but the lack of service we had here made that impos
sible.
“Play it for me. Maybe if I record it, someone can translate.”
And by ‘someone’, I meant Liam. He mentioned moving around a lot and I had to imagine that meant he also picked up a few languages along the way. With any luck, French was one of them.
Beth groaned when she had to get up again. Her phone glowed in her hand when she unlocked the screen and walked toward me with heavy, sleep-deprived steps. She held her cell to mine and I was speechless as we both listened to my voice flowing from her speaker.
Fear hummed inside me. It felt like that uncomfortable, low frequency vibration that creeps over your skin when entering a room where a television has been left on. To hear yourself speaking a language you’ve never been taught, it was beyond unnerving. If I didn’t need to take this to Liam, I would’ve asked Beth to turn it off.
“See?” she said when it finally ended. “French.”
There was no denying she was right, but I had no clue how to explain it. Over the years, I’d taken Spanish, but even when it came to that, I hadn’t advanced past the basics.
I mumbled a distracted, “Thanks,” and purposely left before she could start asking questions.
Elise, my mother, came from a small village in France. It was likely that I was fluent in my past, but what did it mean that parts of that life, bits and pieces of who I used to be, were beginning to bleed through into my current life?
I thought again about the bluish-green flames that sent me running to Liam last night. The ones he explained were a latent ability most dragons didn’t possess. That, too, seemed like a sign I was changing.
When I emerged from my room and laid eyes on Liam where he leaned against the opposite wall, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was expecting him, but I was still stuck on the conversation I just had with Beth. I quickly traded the tense expression I wore for a smile. I’d tell him about the recording later. Not now.
