by Rachel Jonas
I stared, blinking several times before that pleading look in his eyes inspired me to nod. From the bottom of my heart, I didn’t want to go, but I knew that if I didn’t, neither would he.
“Okay,” I finally breathed. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”
A reserved smile melted away the otherwise stern expression he always wore. “You know you don’t have to,” he added, “but I’m glad you agreed.”
I smiled back. “Why’s that?”
Broad shoulders lifted into the air when he shrugged. “Because I worry about you.”
That wasn’t the answer I expected. I guess I thought he’d say something more along the lines of how he was looking forward to hanging out. But worry? Didn’t see that coming. I knew he was concerned for me physically, but I got the impression that wasn’t what he meant.
I thought I was managing pretty well, but apparently, he disagreed.
“You’re sad. A lot,” he explained as one corner of his mouth tugged up again. “And when you’re not, you’re in a daze. So, like I said, I worry.”
It was nice that he cared.
“I think this’ll be good for you, though,” he added. “Good for both of us.”
He was right. Everything he said was spot on. So, if it’d make him feel better to see me take part in this whole … celebration thing, I’d do it.
It was time to part ways, time to head to our own spaces to shower before heading to the dining hall where we’d eat with the others who’d been left behind. But it wasn’t lost on me how, as Liam took a few steps toward his room, my hand lingered in his until I had to let go. It was me who held on.
“See you in thirty?” he called out, walking backwards while watching me.
All I could do was nod as my keycard rested between my fingers.
With the way I’d grown to feel about him lately, he could see me whenever.
—Chapter Twenty-One—
Nick
Kyle, Ben, and Richie stood in the driveway, all with arms crossed over their chests as Dad and I pulled up. Two of the three seemed anxious for me to step out of the car; Richie never was one to show much emotion. The second I opened the door and my feet touched pavement, they left it again when Kyle lifted me off the ground in a bear hug.
“The prodigal pup has returned,” he teased, setting me down again. His wide grin let me know I’d been missed while I was away.
Hoisting my duffle bag higher on my shoulder, I accepted a hard pat on the back from Richie. “Feels good to be home.”
And it did. I mean, yeah, it was cold and I never did like the snow much, but there really was no place like home. I missed eating meals that didn’t taste like fridge, sleeping in my own bed. Don’t get me wrong, sharing a room with the guys was fine, but I had a newfound appreciation for privacy. For the next two weeks, I’d get to enjoy my own space again until inevitably being shipped back to Damascus.
Ushering me toward the house, my brothers bombarded me with a bunch of questions, ones I’d just answered for my dad when he picked me up from the bus.
“What’s it like there?”
“Where is it?”
“Does it seem safe?”
“What do you do all day?”
I answered them one at a time, but not until we were inside where it was warm.
“It’s secluded. Someplace in Louisiana, but none of us quite know where,” I explained. “It’s incredibly safe. They’ve got us hidden underground and there are monitors roaming the halls twenty-four/seven. And our day is mostly structured like it was here at Seaton Prep. We can grab breakfast in the dining hall if we’re up early enough, then there’s either training or lectures until lunch, then the last half of the day is academics—the stuff we’d be learning in a regular classroom.”
Ben nodded, but I could tell he was bothered by something I said.
“Wow … they really took you guys far out, didn’t they?” He paused and the expressions on my brothers’ faces made it clear this was something they discussed before—at least as a suspicion. Until now, no one knew exactly where we’d been taken.
“Would’ve been nice for them to keep you all closer in case you’re ever in danger. At least we’d be able to get to you,” Kyle chimed in, adding his two cents.
“Well, it’s like I said, things seem safe, so…”
“Still isn’t right.” The mumbled rebuttal came from my father. “Yeah, you kids are members of the clan, but I’m sick of that taking precedence over the fact that you’re our kids.”
Beside me, Richie lowered his head.
The sound of soft footsteps ended our conversation as well as any further objection to our clan’s way of handling the issue. Mom seemed oblivious to how silent the rest of us were when she joined us in the foyer. Her arms went around my neck, squeezing me tight as she fawned over me like mom’s do—looking me over like I’d just returned from war. She smelled like cinnamon and vanilla—remnants of whatever dessert she was prepping. Dad mentioned she’d been in the kitchen all day, getting dinner ready for my return.
When she finally backed away, there were tears in her eyes. “I’m so happy they brought you home. Thanksgiving without you was bad enough, but I would’ve launched an attack against the Elders myself if they kept you away for Christmas, too.”
I set my duffle bag down beside the door, realizing my family had no intention of allowing me passage to my room any time soon.
“Mom, I’m fine,” I assured her when she did another pass of her fingers through my hair.
She completely ignored me and asked, “Are they feeding you well?” which prompted all my brothers to laugh.
Richie took me by the shoulders and shook them. “Ma, this kid doesn’t look like he’s missed any meals. Relax.”
“But I, on the other hand, haven’t eaten since breakfast,” Kyle cut in. “So, can we grub now?”
Mom passed him a look before a smile broke free. “Wash your hands and help me fix the table.”
Kyle just about ran to the kitchen sink to take Mom up on her offer while the rest of us shifted to the dining room. Within minutes, an entire spread was laid out on the table. A meal fit for a king. I tossed down three full plates and a big heap of apple pie before finally feeling full enough to back away from the table. My brothers were no better. We quickly reduced the feast to nothing more than scraps that could all fit in one Tupperware container. We each helped clear the dishes and then hung out in the living room to let our food settle.
Mom seemed to be working her way up to a point all through dinner. She’d asked about my friends, even Roz, but never Evie. I got the feeling she wanted to, but maybe wasn’t sure I’d answer. Or maybe she didn’t know if she wanted the answer.
It was no secret she never approved of us seeing one another, although I didn’t fully understand why until it was explained at the facility. The long-standing feud between the lycan and dragon shifter races was mostly based on one side’s prejudices against the other. Dragons had been deemed unpredictable and untrustworthy by my people and, therefore, my mother wanted me to have nothing to do with her. While, no, Evie being part dragon had nothing to do with us ending things, I suppose my mother had gotten her wish.
For nearly two months now, the girl I once clumsily admitted to being in love with, hadn’t said more than ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ to me. We were, more or less, ships passing in the night. Our worlds were separate, but converged when our schedules made it unavoidable. Every time, she’d give a shy smile like she didn’t know me anymore, and then we’d wave. And every time, it killed me a little on the inside.
And now, as I sat with my feet propped up on an ottoman, my mother finally got up the nerve to butt in.
“I’m assuming you and Evie have gotten closer? With all the time I’m sure you’re spending together, I mean.” She smiled, but it was forced and uncomfortable to look at.
My brothers, through phone calls made while I was away, were aware of my status with Evie. Ben cleared his throat when Mom a
sked and I felt his eyes on me without glancing that way.
“Then you’d be assuming wrong,” I answered.
My gaze drifted out the window toward Evie’s house. According to Beth, she’d be visiting family in Florida for the holidays, which accounted for her not being on the bus with us coming home. Seemed strange she wouldn’t take this opportunity to be with her mom and dad, but for all I knew, they’d be heading south to join her, enjoying the sunshine, escaping the cold.
A surprised, “Oh!” from Mom did little to hide how pleased she was to hear that things had ended. Maybe pleased was the wrong word.
Relieved.
She sounded relieved.
“Was it … mutual?” she asked next.
Deciding now wasn’t the time to get into the details, I sat straight and scooted to the edge of my seat on the sofa. “Nope. Wasn’t mutual,” was all I said.
“You’re leaving?” Mom asked in a huff. “I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that … I worry. That’s all.”
And I got that, but I needed to be alone for a bit. It’d been a while since I had the luxury. Being stuck on that loud, crowded bus for nearly twenty-hours—with food and bathroom breaks, plus two driver changes—made finding peace and quiet even more necessary.
“You just got in,” she insisted, sounding a bit insulted by me running off so soon. “I won’t ask questions about her if it makes you uncomfortable.”
I stretched once I was on my feet. “It’s not anything you said,” I lied. “I just need to shower and get some rest.”
Her eyes stayed trained on me for a moment and, finally, she gave in. “Okay.”
I flashed her a reassuring smile and leaned down to kiss her forehead as I passed by. All five sets of eyes were on me as I made my way toward the stairs after grabbing my bag from the foyer.
Stepping into my room after months of being away was one of the best feelings in the world. Everything was exactly like I left it. Moving to the closet, I tossed my bag inside. My old Seaton Prep Uniforms hung neatly and I stared at them. It seemed like a lifetime ago that things were normal. So far, my senior year had gone nothing like I imagined it would and there were no signs things would change.
As I stood eyeing the pieces, symbolic of the life I’d left behind, my phone buzzed in my pocket with a text.
‘My dad’s excitement to see me was overshadowed by exhaustion,’ Roz typed. ‘He’s been working the last two days with little to no sleep.’
‘Sux.’
‘Totally :( We’re grabbing breakfast in the morning, so he’s making up for it. How’s your fam? Did they roll out the red carpet for the returning prince?’
I smiled at the term that once felt more like an insult, mostly because, back then, she meant it as one.
‘Funny. Nope, just the expected line of questioning.’ I didn’t need to explain what that meant. She knew how my mom felt about Evie, knew there would be speculation when we went away together.
‘Only ‘cause they care,’ Roz countered.
‘Now you sound like my mom.’
‘Ouch lol. Just saying. At least yours stayed awake long enough to get ten words out. My dad hugged me, told me he missed me, then it was lights out for him.’
‘Better than having to pretend you’re too tired to socialize. Now I’m stuck up here in my room.’
There was a pause in conversation and I stepped into the bathroom to turn on the shower, pulling my shirt over my head. When it hit the floor, I took note of red scratches on my shoulder and chest—scratches I didn’t recall getting, which meant they came from one of my blackouts.
They’d gotten more frequent and, as a result, I didn’t sleep well anymore. I found myself trying to stay awake, thinking I’d be able to stop this from happening somehow. I’d gotten used to the dark circles under my eyes that came along with it, but I knew my mother would never let it slide. Hence the reason I made sure to get some rest the few days leading up to this trip.
But this led to another concern—sleeping here. I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t have another episode. Couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t get up in the middle of the night and freak my parents out.
Or worse.
Truth was, I had no idea what I was capable of anymore; no idea what I was becoming beyond the name I’d been given. More and more I leaned toward sneaking off to my grandfather’s estate at night, returning by morning before anyone noticed I’d gone missing.
Still hadn’t ruled it out as a possibility.
Water pelted the shower floor as I finished undressing. The second I turned to step in, Roz messaged again.
‘Wanna hang? Maybe we can scour your grandfather’s place tonight.’
It was like she read my mind. His place would’ve been off limits with anyone else, but I trusted her.
I eyed the message, remembering how heartbroken my mother seemed a moment ago when I excused myself to come upstairs. Getting out of the house would be next to impossible. But I had reasons to do so beyond Roz’s innate curiosity rubbing off on me.
At this point, it was more of a safety precaution.
‘I can’t get a car. Meet me outside the gate in an hour?’
I could practically feel Roz’s excitement through the phone when she replied. ‘Yep! Bring his journals if you have them; I’ll bring my laptop. Don’t guess Gramps’s place has wi-fi?’
Sometimes, she was too ridiculous not to laugh at. ‘Seeing as how no one lives there, we’re lucky there’s even heat and electricity.’
‘This is true. I guess beggers can’t be choosey. Later.’
I set my phone down and, while showering, devised a plan to get past my mom.
Fully dressed, I rejoined my family in the living room. Just like when I left after Mom questioned me about Evie, they all stared now, but for different reasons.
But that was the plan.
I took the time to style my hair, then searched for a pair of dark jeans to match a button-down Dad gave me on my birthday. I sprayed on cologne and waited for someone to ask.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Of course, Mom was the curious one.
“Uh … on a date, actually.” Somehow, despite lying through my teeth, I got the words out smoothly. “Sorry. I know I just got home, but … I hoped you wouldn’t mind.”
Mom blinked hard and fast. “Oh! Uh … with who?”
She pretended to be cool with it, pretended not to be bothered by the fact that I was up to hanging out with a girl, but wasn’t up to hang out with them.
“Officer Chadwick’s daughter. Roz,” I answered, knowing full-well our meetup was a far cry from a date. If anything, we’d be nerding out while going through boxes and boxes of relics in my grandfather’s study. However, in all honesty, that sounded like a blast.
“That cool?” I added.
There was no mistaking the relief on my mother’s face. It was like, as long as I wasn’t seeing Evie, she was fine with whoever I dated.
“Roz seems like a nice girl.”
I nodded with a smile, able to tell the truth when I answered this time. “She is.”
“Need the car?” Dad offered, shocking me.
“Uh … I didn’t realize you’d let me take it, so she’s picking me up at the gate.” I glanced at the large clock mounted above the fireplace. “Actually, I need to get going. Don’t wait up,” I called out as I turned, knowing I had no intentions of returning before dawn. My bag was packed by the door just in case I needed anything, but I’d be spending the night in my grandfather’s king-size bed tonight and maybe every night while here in town.
It was for my family’s own good.
Just like we discussed, Roz was waiting at my neighborhood’s entrance with the engine running. The air was brisk, but I didn’t get as cold as I would have months ago, before turning. She smiled when I opened the door and tossed my bag into the backseat. There was a look she gave and I didn’t understand it at first, but in true Roz fashion, she spoke her mind the very
next second.
“Am I dropping you off somewhere? I thought we were going to your grandfather’s,” she joked, glancing down at the cartoony pajama pants and t-shirt she wore beneath a heavy jacket with a fur-trimmed hood.
“Had to convince my parents I was going on a date tonight in order to get out of the house without too much resistance. I knew my mom wouldn’t put up a fight since she’s desperate for me to get over Evie, so I played on that.”
Roz nodded as we headed up the hill after I pointed that way.
“Ah, I see,” she replied, falling silent for a moment before saying more. “Who’d you tell her you were seeing?”
I chuckled a bit and expected her to laugh, too, when I answered. “You.”
But she didn’t. Instead, there was this distant look on her face as she kept her thoughts to herself. When it seemed I was the only one amused, my smile faded some.
After a few awkward seconds, Roz was back in all her sarcastic splendor. “So … do you always wear this much cologne when you go on dates? Or are you just trying to kill me, specifically?”
Despite the insult being at my expense, I laughed, rolling down the window.
“Sorry, I guess I went overboard trying to be convincing. Had to make it believable.”
She fanned her hand in front of her face. “Well, if believability is measured in cologne sprays … I’d say you could probably convince the entire state of Michigan, because … whew!”
“I get it, I get it,” I smiled. “I’ll change when we get there. Make a left here.”
She followed my directions, all while hanging her head out the driver’s side window for fresh air. The side streets hadn’t been plowed, so we crept along. Then, eventually, the many silhouetted peeks of my grandfather’s pitched roof came into view. The house was massive, but I knew it like the back of my hand despite his passing before I was even born. My family spent a lot of time here during the summer when I was coming up. My brothers and I spent many nights running the halls of his home, finding new places to hide, new things to explore. I always believed it made my father feel close to my grandfather in some way. Like, he was still here with us.
