by Lois Greiman
Raven sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "You don't know what you're saying. My father—"
"You're not your father."
"Well, I'm not any goddamn saint, either."
"I don't want a saint, Joseph. I want you."
Raven scowled and exhaled again. "You don't know that, Charm. There'll be other men. Men better suited to—"
"You think I haven't met other men?"
"I know the kind of men you've met, Charm. I don't mean that kind. I mean decent men, men with upbringing, character and means."
"Rich men, you mean?" she asked.
"Yes." He nodded. "I suppose."
"Like Phelps?"
Raven gritted his teeth. "Goddamn it, Charm. You're not listening."
"Neither am I leaving," she said flatly.
"All right." Raven lifted his hands in defeat. "But I set the rules."
She smiled, just a little, because the joy that swept through her was consuming. "Yes, Raven."
"First..." He pointed his left index finger. "You don't sleep in here."
"I don't sleep. I—"
"Well, damn it all, you don't snatch in here either!" he stormed. "And that's final!"
"But—"
"No buts. I've already confused you enough without having all that..." He waved again, trying to find a decent way to voice his thoughts. But he could think of none. "All that... sexual... stuff to worry about."
"But—"
"No sex!" Raven insisted. A man passing in the hall tripped as he went by. They could see his startled expression as he continued on, trying to appear nonchalant. "Good God, I think I'm losing my mind."
"I think so too," said Clancy.
"You can stay," said Raven more evenly. "And we'll talk." He sighed. "For a while. But when I say to go, you have to go. All right?"
She smiled again then shrugged. "All right."
In the end, Charm spent almost every waking hour with Raven, time they spent talking of their pasts, their hopes, what made them solely unique. She propped him against his pillows, fed him roasted buffalo meat and lemonade and laughed at his protests when the icy liquid dripped onto his chest.
"Cold?"
"Good God, Charm, are you trying to give me a heart attack? It's bad enough that you sit so damn close."
She laughed again, thinking the sound very low and strangely familiar now, for he had been complaining constantly about her blatant attempts to seduce him. "Shall I lick it off?"
The air left his lungs in an audible hiss.
She lifted one corner of her mouth. "If you don't say something, I'm going to assume that's a yes."
"You're an evil woman, Charm."
"Fie, sir," she said, adopting that odd southern accent she sometimes did when flirting. "Do you forget I am your wife?"
"No." His tone was suddenly hoarse. "I don't forget." Their eyes met in a melding stroke of fire.
"Raven..."
He cleared his throat quickly and shifted back into his pillows. "I think you'd better leave now, Charm."
"Already?" She sat straighter, feeling honestly unable to leave, for the loneliness without him was oppression, and the time with him so breathlessly precious. "Please let me stay a while longer, Raven. I'll be good."
He drew a deep breath through his nostrils. "I'm afraid Jude failed miserably with you, Charm. You don't know how to be good. But God knows I'm a calf-eyed weakling where you're concerned."
"Thank you." She kissed his cheek. "You won't regret it."
"Yes I will."
"No." She set his lemonade glass on the nailed-down commode before shoving her hand into her pocket. Her pilfered butter knife was in the way, so she pulled it out to place it casually on the bed. It was joined a moment later by her stone.
"Now I know why I shudder every time you reach for your pocket," he said, and she laughed.
"Don't be silly. I'll probably never try to kill you again."
"I feel so much better now."
She chuckled then dug back into her pocket. "Here," she exclaimed, pulling forth a deck of cards. "I'm going to teach you to gamble."
"Ahh." Clancy stood in the doorway, which Raven insisted on keeping open. "Seems to me Joseph already knows how to gamble."
"Well..." Charm shrugged. “Then he can teach me what I don't know."
Clancy winced. "I think I'll leave."
"Good idea," said Charm.
"No!" said Raven. "Clancy..."
But Bodine was already gone.
Two hours later he returned to find Charm stretched out beside Raven on the narrow cot. Her slim arm was stretched lightly across his chest and her youthful face was peaceful as she slept.
"Thought you was gambling," Clancy commented wryly.
"She won," Raven said with a sigh.
Chapter 31
The Belle arrived at the St. Louis harbor in the early evening of the sixth day of June.
"Well..." Fields stood very straight on the steamer's freshly whitewashed ramp. "It's been... interesting having you with us, Mrs. Scott."
Charm laughed aloud, looking very young and newly confident as she linked her arm through Raven's. "Perhaps we'll see you again, Captain."
He raised his brows as if loath to admit such a possibility, but in his eyes was the sparkle of youth that Charm could coax from any man. "The Belle and I will retire from the Missouri until high water next spring," he said. "I'll not risk her hull on its shallow bottom, but if you ever need a ride down the mighty Mississippi..." He paused, his eyes laughing. "Try gaining passage on the Evening Star instead."
Charm chuckled, unoffended by the captain's reluctance to see her again. "When we travel next," she said, "we'll want it to be with you. Perhaps..."—she glanced first at Fields, then at Raven—"for our thirtieth wedding anniversary?"
The captain bent down toward her. Retrieving her hand, he kissed it gallantly. "I only hope our Mr. Scott can survive your adoration that long."
Raven eyed the sprawling city of St. Louis. It was bustling with river-front life and seemed little changed from the last time he'd seen it. Although he would have preferred to hire a decent-looking horse for the carriage they rented, Charm insisted Angel's feelings would be hurt if he weren't allowed to pull them to River Bluffs.
Miraculously, the homely gelding was a decent, if not elegant, cart horse. He stood now, munching oats from a feed bag and waiting as his mistress finished her meal inside the restaurant. They'd left the Belle several hours before. In that time, Charm's smile had faded and her face paled.
Reality, it seemed, had finally set in, and now that they'd left the relative security of the steamer, Raven deduced that doubts were assailing her. He'd been right to try to keep her at arm's length, for less than five miles from town there was an estate, a stately, aging plantation, spared by the war and peopled with a bevy of loyal servants. It would be her home, her life, with no place for a backwater bastard who sported the ridiculous name of an irritating black bird.
Something twisted in his gut. He ignored the bitter ache, glancing at his mother's ring on her finger and feeling the comfortable bulk of her small Bible inside his vest pocket. How would he ever live without her? But no. This was hardly the time to worry about his own needs.
"You all right, Charm?"
"Yes." She glanced up, not quite able to match her tone and expression to her words. "I'm fine."
"Scared?" he asked, raising his brows at her.
She honored him with a laugh, though it was a bit tight. "No."
He forced a smile for her lie and managed to refrain from touching her hand. "It'll be all right."
She sat very still, looking strangely small and fragile. "Tell me about my family."
He was her family. And she his. His hope. His life. Or rather, that's how he wanted it to be. "They'll think you irresistible, Charm." Just as he did. "No need to worry."
She tried a tilted smile and another lie. "I'm not—" she began, but a fleeting figure caught her attention, and she gasped, cu
tting her sentence short.
"What?" Raven was on his feet in an instant. "What'd you see?"
"I thought..." She blinked, calming her breathing with an effort. "Nothing. It was nothing. I…I was just imagining."
Raven turned his head slowly, scanning the crowd around him before returning to his seat, every muscle tense. "Imagining what?"
"Nothing." She smiled again and laughed, seeming to think herself silly. "You're too jumpy." Reaching out, she took his hand as he had wished to do only moments before. "You've no need to worry. They'll think I chose well."
Raven skimmed the room again, noticing every shadow. "I've not the faintest idea what you're talking about?"
"My aunt. She'll think you irresistible," she said, using the same words he had.
"Charm." Raven forced his attention back to her face with a scowl. "You forget that I've already met your aunt." In fact, surprisingly enough, she had thought him irresistible. And though he wasn't easily charmed, he had found an honest kindness in her that appealed to the homeless boy in him. "I thought we agreed not to tell her about our... situation."
"Our marriage, you mean?" She grinned, but behind her eyes there was worry. "You agreed. I didn't."
Raven watched her, reading the nuances, judging her thoughts as best he could. "What did you see, Charm?"
"Nothing."
"Try a better lie."
She pursed her fine mouth with a shrug and looked at the table. "Well, if you're not going to give up, the truth would be easier."
"All right. The truth then."
She smiled. It almost reached her eyes. "I thought I saw my father."
"Jude?" he asked in surprise.
She raised her gaze rapidly. "I miss him, Raven. I'm sorry."
Sorry! Good God! That's all he needed to add to the list of problems between them. Her guilt. "I don't see a need for an apology on that front, Charm."
"You're not jealous?" she asked, wanting nothing more than to lean forward just a few inches more and kiss him.
"God, Charm, you make me sound like an ogre. Jealous of your father."
"Well..."
"Are you two at it again?" inquired Clancy, returning to their table.
"At what?" asked Raven, not looking up.
"If you two break into a kiss right in front of God and everybody, I won't be escorting you to River Bluffs."
Raven scowled, pulling his attention from Charm with some difficulty. "How do you know the way?"
For a fraction of a moment Clancy was silent, then, "Hell, what kind of detective do you think I am? Can't find an estate half the size of Kentuck? We goin' or you two have better things to do?"
"We do," said Charm, "but he won't."
"Yeah." Clancy sighed. "Well, he's always been a little daft."
"To think I spent most of my life worrying about men taking advantage of me, and now when I want one to, he won't."
"He's a dolt!" agreed Clancy.
"And not very considerate," added Charm.
"And—"
"If you two are done assessing my sundry shortcomings, maybe we could go," interrupted Raven.
"I was just beginning to have fun. Haven't used my best insults yet," complained Chancy. "You don't plan t' go there yet tonight?"
"Yes, I do," said Raven as he rose to his feet. "Eloise will be married in two days."
Clancy scowled. "A terrible time to go bustin' in. We'd best let the excitement die down. Relax in old St. Louis awhile. I'll show you the sights."
"I've seen the sights."
"It'll be dark before we get there. And besides, maybe yer little Cougar Mouse ain't seen the town."
"I haven't," said Charm, her wide eyes finding Raven's. "Couldn't we stay, just a few days?"
Her voice was very soft, and when she asked liked that, there was little Raven wouldn't have done to please her. But the truth of why she wanted the delay was not lost on him. She was scared. Scared of learning her heritage, meeting her family. Scared of the truth. It wasn't the thought of being with him that caused her allure for St. Louis. It was fear, and until she overcame that fear and faced the truth of who she was, he'd never be able to force himself to leave her, knowing she was better without him.
"Best to get it over with, Charm," he said evenly. "No point delaying just because you're frightened."
Her gaze was very steady. "I think you're the one who's frightened, Raven."
He narrowed his eyes at her, silently questioning.
"Scared to believe that I love you just for you."
No. The truth was, he was scared to believe she didn't. But people very dear to him had a tendency to disappear from his life and never come back. "Let's go," he said. "Before I prove the extent of my shortcomings."
*
The country beyond the bounds of the city was lush and fertile. Overflowing since the war with unfurling crops and majestic oaks, it glowed in the last rays of the evening sun, washing the rolling vista with a rosy glow.
Clancy drove the carriage, leaving Raven to sit in the back seat next to Charm. Her thigh lightly touched his, her arm brushed his chest as she pointed to a hawk that soared overhead or to a willow that grew at a crooked angle above a meandering stream.
"Couldn't we stop, just for a few minutes?" she asked. Her eyes were the same shade as the whispering leaves. She shifted them now from Raven's face to the cool shelter beneath the willow.
Raven mentally sighed. He'd given ten years of his life just to spend an hour beneath that tree with her, but there was no place for weakness in the world of a bastard son. "You're not two miles from your home, Charm. You can come here anytime you want."
"Our home," she corrected, but her tone was tight, and he wondered if she too doubted. Doubted whether she'd still want him after the truth was revealed.
"It'll be over soon," he said, more to himself than to her.
They rattled along, watching the evening sky turn to purple and fade above the surrounding woods.
"Damn," Clancy said suddenly.
"What is it?" Raven's voice was harsh, making him realize his own tension.
"Horse is lame."
"What are you talking about?"
"I think the horse is lame," repeated Clancy, pulling Angel to a halt.
"He's too ugly to be lame," insisted Raven. "Trot him out. Let me see."
"You don't know nothin' 'bout horses," argued Clancy. "He's lame, I tell you. We're gonna have to go back."
"Go back! Are you crazy?"
"No. I ain't crazy," said Clancy. "I ain't the one who won't... you know... with your own wife, when she's sittin' there lookin' so..." He waved one hand and turned in the hard seat to gaze at Charm. "Damn, she's pretty. Why don't we sit down here for a spell while I gaze at her and you tell me how you two met?"
"Get going," insisted Raven.
"Listen boy, I don't take orders from"—Clancy started to argue, leaning across the seat, but just then a rifle exploded from the nearby trees.
Clancy jerked like a wooden puppet, body instantly stiff and eyes widening in shock and pain before he fell beside the suddenly rocking wheel of the carriage.
Angel reared. Charm screamed. The unseen rifle spat again. A bullet bored a hole through the back of the carriage.
"Get down!" Raven roared, but Charm was frozen with fear, rising up in the buggy. "Down!" he yelled again, and pushing her to the floor, launched himself to the ground, grasping for Clancy's arm.
"Go on!" Bodine screamed. "Go back! Go!"
"Get in!"
The rifle exploded again. Angel lunged, spurting forward in a wild flight, but somehow Charm reached the lines and pulled him in a tight, rocking circle back to her companions.
Another crack from the rifle. Angel screamed and reared.
"Go!" Raven yelled at her. "Go on!"
"No!" she sobbed.
Death cracked from somewhere behind them. With a lurch and a curse, Raven yanked Clancy into his arms, and then, running beneath his burden, raced for th
e carriage. Clancy's back hit the floor with a jolt. Raven vaulted over Bodine's body and onto the seat.
Charm slapped the reins against Angel's back. A bullet followed them, soaring between their heads. Far behind, a horse raced toward them and another rifle screamed.
Charm yelled to Angel, calling his name, and they sped ahead.
"God, Joseph!" Clancy's words sounded feeble above the rattle of the wheels and the racing panic of their own hearts. "I'm sorry. Didn't know her then. Didn't mean no harm."
"Shut up!" Raven ordered, dropping to the floor to clasp the other to his chest. "Save your strength. We're almost there. There'll be a nurse there. Hang on!" he groaned, teeth gritted in anguish.
"Don't..." Clancy rasped, gripping Raven's coat. "Don't go, Joseph! Please."
"I'm not leaving."
"No. I gotta..." Bodine grimaced, stiffening again.
"You're all right," promised Raven but Clancy was gone, limp in his arms.
"Turn there. Left!" Raven yelled. Charm pulled Angel about. The carriage careened on two wheels before righting itself and bouncing along behind the racing gelding. One more rocking turn and there was River Bluffs, towering against the night sky.
The carriage slammed to a halt. Raven jumped out, lifting Clancy from the floor to hurry him to the house, but Charm was already at the door, yelling for help. People appeared all around them, jabbering in the uncertain light of uplifted lanterns.
"He's shot!" Raven yelled. "Where's Eloise?"
"Here." A reed-slim woman scurried through the crowd. "Bring him in here. In here!" she ordered, and Raven followed, bearing Clancy's limp body to the dining room table.
"Sara, fetch hot water, bandages. Where's Ty? Someone send Ty for Dr. Wells. Nel, in here quick!" ordered Eloise, and then she was peeling off Clancy's coat.
"You're Caroline's chile, ain't y'?" asked a rusty voice.
Pushed aside as Eloise labored over Clancy, Charm turned woodenly. She struggled to find reality as her gaze fell on the wizened black face set on a bent and ancient body. "What?"
"My fine, little bright-eyed Cari. You're her gal, ain't y'?"
Charm managed no words and the old woman shook her head. "Ain't no reason fer y' to answer. I see her in yer eyes. I see the lovin'. And the hurtin'. Cuz I's Cora, and I knowed yer ma good as anyone. Come along."
