Sal thought about Delgado and figured he’d only make things worse. He made a noncommittal noise.
She offered a sympathetic smile. “Your unit will start turning around. If it’s any consolation, Major Hale thinks your company is the least screwed up on a sheer numbers scale.”
“That’s not encouraging, coming from the battalion lawyer.”
“I didn’t think it would be but I had to try.” She glanced at her watch. “Do you have any more questions?”
“What happens if he’s permanently screwed up from this stuff?”
“Then he gets medically separated.”
“Then what?”
“Then it depends on if he’s granted any disability whether he can get any treatment on the outside.” She sobered. “Your battalion lost a soldier a few months ago because his disability was denied.”
“Sloban. Yeah, I remember.”
“His death was tragic but honestly, it led to a systematic review across the installation about what we’ve been doing. Big Army is also digging into what’s going on. Medical separations are taking longer now but we’ve hired more people to make sure we’re not rubber stamping paperwork.”
Sal’s throat tightened and he nodded. “That’s as good as it’s going to get, isn’t it.”
Emily nodded. “For now? Yes. I wish there was better news. I’ll let you know as soon as we have more information about when he’s going to be admitted.”
It was not a comforting way to end the meeting but then again, Sal had been in command long enough to realize that not comforting was actually the norm.
He would have headed out for a nice long therapeutic run but one look at his watch told him he needed to get his happy ass to the corps commander’s office.
Because the day was determined to end with a bang.
21
There was little in life that Holly hated more than getting her ass chewed for something she hadn't done. She’d have thought she'd have gotten over it at this point in her career, when all she ever got yelled at for was something someone else had done or failed to do.
And getting your ass chewed by the Corps sergeant major was a special occasion on all counts. He’d developed a reputation upon arrival as ruthlessly focused on standards, and even officers didn’t pipe off to him if they were smart.
So when she rounded the corner to the sergeant major’s office and saw Captain Bello in the line of first sergeants, she was mildly surprised. She’d thought he was seeing the corps commander, not the sergeant major. This was a new and unexpected development.
She hadn’t seen him since he’d walked away from her a few hours earlier. She was still prickly from the exchange but decided that arguing with him at the moment wouldn’t be prudent.
“Come here often?” she asked as she moved to stand next to him.
He looked down at her then with too much warmth in his eyes. She glared at him, willing him to turn off the heat, so to speak. He frowned and she lifted one eyebrow, then he finally got that maybe this wasn’t the right place for him to be undressing her with his eyes. Jesus, telepathy was hard.
“Nope, first time.” They spoke in hushed whispers, like kindergarteners trying to avoid being caught talking in class.
Because that was how all fully-grown adults acted outside the corps command sergeant major’s office. Anyone who said otherwise hadn’t had their faces ripped off by that benighted NCO.
“How painful can we expect this to be?” he asked softly. She wasn’t entirely sure what the consequences would be for talking in their current predicament, but it probably wouldn’t be good.
“Have you ever considered what childbirth would feel like for a man?” He shot her a crazy look, his lips creased at the corner. The warmth in his eyes was back and it did something funny to her insides. “Think of this like that, only in reverse.”
“Good times,” he said dryly.
“You want me to go in with you? No point in you drawing attention to the fact that you don’t have your first sergeant here.” She wanted to ask where Delgado was but she wasn’t sure the answer was something Sal could discuss at the moment.
Sal turned and Holly again noticed the dark rings around his irises. “Thanks but I’ll take the ass-chewing.”
She shrugged. “Your call. I’m already here and I’m in your battalion too, so you know, you could run, save yourself.”
“I’ve been emasculated enough for one day.”
“Glutton for punishment?”
Something heavy slammed in the sergeant major’s office and barely muffled yelling could be heard in the hall.
“Something like that,” Sal said. He frowned slightly and angled his body so he could talk to her without having to speak too loudly. “You’re never serious, are you.”
“Very much so. Funerals. House fires. Kittens trapped in trees.”
His lips twitched. Holly had the sudden awkward thought that she liked seeing his lips twitch. He had a nice mouth.
And holy shit, she was not hopping down the bunny trail of inappropriate fantasies that twisted with some very potent memories right then. She needed distance. She needed some professional perspective, perspective that didn’t involve mentally undressing him in the corps command group or thinking about how his hands had felt on her body the other night.
“Do you rescue kittens trapped in trees often?” he whispered.
“Once a week. I have an emergency transponder. Like the bat signal,” she said.
He shook his head but not before Holly saw the faint crease at the side of his mouth again. It was a nice change to see him smile, especially after the day they’d just had.
She leaned forward slightly. “I have six stray kittens at home. Want one?”
His mouth twitched at the corners. “You realize if we get caught talking out here, it’s going to be both our asses, don’t you?”
“What, you don’t think your being a captain is going to protect you?”
“Let’s put it this way. I was running on the III Corps track one morning and I saw a captain mouthing off to him. She had the balls to tell him he didn’t know who he was talking to. He held up one boney finger and said wait right there. Two seconds later he was back with the corps commander and that captain no longer had a job before nine a.m. So no, I am under no illusions that my rank will protect me from his wrath.”
She couldn’t help herself. “Wow, that must be really humbling. knowing you’re about to get your head ripped off by a fifty-year-old enlisted man.”
Sal shrugged. “Won’t be the first time.”
The office door opened and the previous victims slunk out and down the stairs without making eye contact with the rest of the sacrificial lambs that waited in the hallway.
The corps sergeant major looked Sal up and down. “Where’s your first sergeant, sir?”
Behind Sal, Holly raised one eyebrow. Somehow, she hadn’t expected the corps sergeant major to keep to military courtesy when he was getting ready to jump into Sal’s fourth point of contact with both feet.
Bello didn’t answer for a long moment. Holly counted to three and then stepped into the breach, unwilling to leave him standing there by himself.
“Sarn’t Major, I’m his acting first sergeant,” she said quickly.
“What happened to his first sergeant?” There was restraint in his voice but Holly was under no illusions that he wouldn’t kick off in her ass, too.
He was an equal opportunity face ripper offer.
“He’s on leave, Sarn’t Major,” she said. A bald-faced lie but one she hoped the sarn’t major wouldn’t catch. Because that would be even more unpleasant than the ass-chewing they were about to get.
“All right, then, get in here.”
She’d just gotten here. She couldn’t get fired. At least not until the battalion sergeant major threatened to fire her first. She had rituals to uphold.
“What kind of a unit are you running down there?”
“A very special one, Sar
n’t major.”
Sal shot her a look that said are you crazy? a moment before the door slammed shut behind them.
“Enough with the smart-ass comments, First Sergeant. Talk to me about the soldier on the roof.”
* * *
They stepped into the hallway exactly thirteen minutes later.
Quite possibly the longest thirteen minutes of his life.
And Holly had borne the brunt of the sergeant major’s wrath. As in the entire thing. It was as if Sal hadn’t even been in the room.
“Officers of my unit will have maximum time to accomplish their duties. They will not have to accomplish mine,” the sergeant major had quoted from the NCO Creed. “And yet, here your commander is, wasting time because you can’t control your formation, First Sergeant.”
“Sarn’t Major—”
The sarn’t major had held up one boney finger when Sal had tried to interrupt. “Sir, when I’m done with your first sergeant, I’ll hear what you have to say.”
And there was nothing more to say. He went up one side of her and down the other and then threw them out of the office before Sal could get a word in edgewise.
They walked down the stairs in silence.
“Well, that was fun.”
“Yes, we should do it again some time. I’ve got a weigh-in next week and I could stand to lose a few more inches off my ass,” she said.
Sal looked over at her, amazed that even after that entire episode, she was still joking. He supposed if she ever stopped, he’d need to start worrying. “You took that like a champ.”
She shrugged. “It was an ass-chewing. No one died. It’s actually part of my duty description. It’s a bullet on my evaluation form. Takes ass-chewings selflessly.” She paused outside the headquarters and donned her patrol cap.
Sal fell into step next to her. “You know, there’s value in getting pissed off once in a while.”
“I know full well the value of a well-timed shit fit,” she said dryly. “However, today is not that day.” She looked up at him. “Baggins didn’t fall. That’s the victory I’m focused on. Everything else is secondary.”
He looked down at her. She stood a little too close, completely comfortable in her skin. She was no longer the rank and the uniform and just another soldier. If he was honest with himself, she’d stopped being that the day he’d met her.
The other night had been just a taste. A hint of something he’d never allowed himself to crave and now? Standing there with her, looking at her in the setting sun, he wanted. He wanted time. With her. Away from the base. What was she like off duty? Did she really not have any hobbies? Did she have a family?
He wanted more. Wanted her, with her warped sense of humor and amazing ability to get shit done. He wanted the woman he’d undressed in his kitchen. Wanted her naked, skin to skin.
There was a tiny wisp of hair curled around the edge of her ear that had escaped from where she'd tied it back into her bun. And he wanted, badly, to brush it away from her skin. To feel her tremble beneath his touch.
He took a step to put a little more space between them while he looked over the duty roster, slipping his hand into his pocket and finding the lighter resting against his hip.
It was smooth and cool but for once, the comfort it offered was hollow. Fleeting.
He no longer needed the cold steel in his pocket. Instead he wanted to reach out and hold the fire that was Holly in his arms.
It was a stupid want. One bound to end in disaster.
“Where’d you go just then?” she asked softly.
He let the lighter slip from his fingers, dropping it against the bottom of his pocket. “Nowhere,” he said after a moment. “Thanks for, ah, taking care of things today. Things have been a little rough lately.”
“I know,” she said softly.
They started walking back to their vehicles, parked on the far side of the massive headquarters building.
“They’re waiting until he’s stable to admit him.” Sal sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. “Baggins…he was my gunner over in Third Brigade on my first deployment. He’s…this isn’t the kid I know.”
“I’m sorry for that, I really am.” She took a step closer, gripping his upper arm.
“He was a good soldier,” Sal said, forcing the words past the block in his throat. “And now this.” He looked over at her. “Am I an idiot for thinking that he did this because of Freeman?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time a man has done something stupid over a woman who doesn’t want him.” He lifted one brow and she grinned. “I’ve spent too many years in the army. The stories I could tell you would make your soul bleed even while you’re laughing in horror.” She sighed. “So what are you doing about Pizarro?”
“He’s flagged and pending investigation by CID regarding the assault on Freeman, among other things.”
“Good.”
“You sound like you didn’t expect me to say that,” he said gently.
“I didn’t. I’m used to these things being covered up.” She lifted one shoulder. “Old scars and all that.”
Sal studied her. Saw the flash of old hurt flicker across her face before she buried it once more. He wanted to ask, wanted to know more about what had happened to shape her into the woman she was.
He tipped his chin and said nothing, letting the day’s events run through his mind like a flickering black and white film.
Then he felt it. Her hand on his forearm. He looked down. She was a little too close. A little too human.
A little too much of someone he wanted. So much it hurt.
But he couldn’t say the words he needed. They got stuck in his throat. Afraid that the other night had been a fluke. A mistake.
But that didn’t change the want.
“Hey?”
He waited for her to finish. Waited and hoped.
“When you get done with things here, come home with me?” she whispered.
He swallowed, his mouth and throat dry. “I may be late.”
Her lips creased at the corner, drawing his eyes down to her mouth. Her beautiful, full, smart mouth that in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to taste. “Me too.” Her fingers tightened on his forearm and he could feel the heat through his uniform. “But I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
22
It was later than she’d expected when she pulled down the gravel driveway to her house. It was a small house. Probably an old converted garage or servants’ quarters, but she liked it. It got her out of town and away from all the soldiers.
She loved her job but during the rare times when she was off duty, she wanted to be off. Really off. Like let her hair down and relax off.
So she was more than a little surprised to see Sal’s truck in the narrow driveway of her tiny little house. She thought he’d still been at work when she’d finally locked up her office for the day. She wanted a shower and a beer and not necessarily in that order.
She’d invited him here. She’d wanted him in her space, next to her skin. But now that he was here, she was afraid. Afraid to let him closer. Afraid of that little hitch her heart had made when she pulled down the gravel driveway and saw him sitting there.
He was a mistake. One she’d made before and had vowed never to make again. And yet, she did not pull away. Did not retreat from the racing of her heart or the fear just beneath it.
There wasn’t room in her heart for a mistake like Sal Bello, but when she saw him sitting on her front steps in running shorts and a t-shirt, her heart shifted a little in her chest.
He looked lost and more than a little run-down. Gone was the fierce commander she’d sparred with since her arrival in this unit. In his place was the man before her. Tired. And maybe a little broken inside.
She swallowed and faced the choice she had to make. She could spend the rest of her life running.
Or she could take that first step and allow him a little bit closer to the person she was without the uniform.
He looked up at her as she stepped out of her truck and walked up. “You said you’d be late. I didn’t think you meant this late.” His voice was warm. Rough. Filled with unspoken need. For human contact. For comfort.
She was terrified of how much she wanted all of those things, too. Not with just anyone.
With Sal.
Instead, though, she leaned against the front of her car. “You’ve been sitting here a while, huh?”
“It’s quiet out here.”
“It is. It’s nice when the sun is going down over Stillhouse and the temperature isn’t set to broiling.” She approached then, standing close enough that she could see the shadows in his eyes. The broken wall that let the emotion leak through. “How’s Balboa?”
“Under guard until they can open up a bed for him on the fifth floor.” He shifted, resting his forearms on his knees and folding his hands together, avoiding her eyes.
She ached for him. Wanted to reach out and touch him. But fear was a powerful thing. She held back, terrified of the power of the want inside her. “The important part is that he’s alive.”
“I know.” He cleared his throat roughly and finally looked up at her. “I realized I never apologized for snapping at you earlier.” He finally looked up at her and the dark emotion in his eyes slammed into her. “I was out of line.”
It was both unexpected and unnecessary and still, it warmed her to know that he cared enough to apologize.
The wall around her heart crumbled a little more. “It happens. I’ve been around long enough to know how people react in stressful situations.”
He snorted softly. “I was expecting you to make me grovel.”
“I’m not one for games and shenanigans. You apologized. I accepted. It’s a relatively straightforward process.”
He didn’t react. At least, not how she expected. She’d hoped to get him riled up again. Get some smart-ass response out of him. Instead, he covered his face with his hands.
And broke her a little more. She took another hesitant step forward, sinking down to sit next to him on her front steps.
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