by Miss KP
Just when Carlie drifted off to sleep, there was a knock on the door.
“Yeah, come in,” I said, thinking it was probably Nurse Brooks.
However, when Ms. Stupid Ass social worker walked in wanting to talk, I instantly regretted allowing her access. I’d been avoiding her for weeks because I didn’t want anyone to try and take my daughter away from me. The promise I made to God still stood strong. I didn’t want anything to do with heroin, and I meant every word. My daughter’s life was almost sacrificed because of my negligence, and I was determined to live for Carlos through our daughter.
“Well hello, Mrs. Sanchez. I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for almost a month now. Did you get any of my messages?”
“No I didn’t. Why are you here?” I asked with a serious attitude.
<“It’s protocol that we try and get you help to fight your addiction so that you’re able to be 100% for your daughter. I just need to ask you a few questions to evaluate your situation.”
“Addiction? The only thing I’m addicted to is shopping.”
“Mrs. Sanchez, denial isn’t going to help you. Trust me. I’m on your side, but I need to make sure that your daughter is not at risk.”
“What do you mean my daughter is at risk?”
“Do you know how many times I’ve seen babies die from negligence?” the social worker questioned.
“Look, I’m not going to neglect my daughter. Here my daughter is fighting for her life and your unsympathetic-ass waltzed in here approaching me like I’m some kind of strung out crack head!”
“Calm down, Mrs. Sanchez.”
“No, I’m not going to calm down. Maybe once you leave then I can.”
“How long have you been using?” she asked with a straight face.
This bitch just will not leave, I thought. “Using? I don’t have a habit. You’re not gonna take my daughter away from me!”
At that moment, something snapped inside of me. I got up and ran in the bathroom with Carlie in my arms and locked the door. There was no way I was going to allow anyone to take all that I had left of Carlos away from me.
“Just leave me and my daughter alone!” I yelled.
“Mrs. Sanchez, please you can’t avoid the situation. I’m here to help you, now open the door,” the social worker pleaded.
“No!” As I shook uncontrollably, Carlie began to cry. “Leave us alone, you’re upsetting my daughter.”
“It’s not sanitary for her to be in there Mrs. Sanchez. Her immune system can’t fight off the bacteria!”
“Just leave us alone! You’re not taking my baby. She’s all I have left of him. She’s all I have left!”
Tears streamed down my face as I held my daughter close to me. I quickly sat down on the floor with my back against the door. A few minutes later, I could hear the social worker talking and a familiar sounding voice talking.
“You need to talk to your friend. Can you let her know that I’m leaving, but I’ll be back. My card is on the chair.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to her,” the voice responded.
I could hear heels coming closer to the door and then there was a knock.
“Lisa, are you alright in there?”
“Go away!”
“Come on. I didn’t fly all this way to get the cold shoulder.”
When I finally opened the door, Marisol stood there with gift bags and a ton of, “It’s a Girl” balloons. What the fuck is this bitch doing here, I thought.
Chapter Five
LISA
I was instantly appalled. Since Marisol was no longer my friend, I didn’t give a fuck about her anymore. Now, I basically viewed her as just Carlos’ wife…nothing more. How dare this bitch come up in here uninvited, I asked myself. Prancing her ass in here with gifts for my baby like this is a shower. Little did she know we had much more in common than she knew about. Little did she know that her kids had just inherited a baby sister. We both loved Carlos, but at least I was the last person he’d made love to before he passed away. He died in my arms and here she was, still in limbo wondering where he was.
I had to admit though, the bitch looked good in her Tom Ford sunglasses, fitted True Religion jumpsuit and knee high Chanel boots. She seemed to be back on her game even though I’ve could’ve sworn the last time we talked she told me that she’d lost twenty-five pounds. Looking down at my frumpy, Adidas track jacket and old Seven jeans, I was a tad bit jealous, especially since I still hadn’t dropped the baby weight. I couldn’t wait to get back to my old self again.
“Hey girl. Why are you giving these nurses a hard time? Let me see that baby girl,” Marisol said with a huge grin.
As I walked out of the bathroom, I looked around the room to make sure the social worker wasn’t trying to trick me.
‘That bitch wasn’t a nurse,” I replied. Picking up the social worker’s card, I ripped it up then threw the tiny pieces of paper in the air. “What do you want, Marisol?”
“Damn…it’s like that. I came to see what made you have another baby by Rich’s crazy-ass? Let me see my little cousin. Can I hold her?”
“Umm no, I need to put her to sleep. She’s had a rough day. How did you know that I was here?” I asked sitting back down.
“Well, if it wasn’t for your husband, I wouldn’t have known anything since you don’t return my calls anymore.”
“Correction…ex- husband.”
“What is going on with y’all? You both seem so bitter. I mean I’ve known you guys forever and I’ve never seen you both like this,” Marisol said, sitting the gift and balloons on the table.
“What did he tell you?”
“He pretty much said that you had a baby and he wasn’t sure if it was his, which I knew was a lie. You’ve never cheated on Rich in your life.”
Don’t be so sure about that, I thought as she continued to talk.
“He can kiss my ass with that dumb shit though because that little girl looks just like him. What’s her name?”
“Carlie,” I said with pride.
“Cute. Anyway, he went on to say how much he hated you and how you’d gotten wrapped up with some dude who had you addicted to blow,” she carried on in a sarcastic tone.
“He said what? He’s just looking for a way to weasel his way out of his responsibilities since I don’t want his ass anymore. Fuck Rich!”
“Well, I’m not here to talk about him. I came to talk to you. You know I fuck with the powder from time to time, but damn Lisa. You can’t let it consume you.”
She’d definitely hit a nerve. “Look, don’t come in here judging me, especially if you’re listening to Rich’s sorry-ass. Have I ever judged you? Did I ever come to you and say you need to stop getting high when you and Carlos would be fucked up and I would be watching your kids. I was always your friend. And while we’re on that subject…how you treated me at my mother-in-law’s funeral was unforgiveable.”
“So, you’re still mad at me about Rich fucking with my friend Jade?”
“Not mad, but disappointed. There’s a difference!” I yelled. When Carlie started to stretch, I told myself to calm back down.
“Lisa really, are you serious? I told you I had nothing to do with that. They were sneaking behind me and Los’ back. We had no clue for a while. They’re both grown. They did this, not me and Los.”
“I could never be mad at Carlos for your actions so stop saying me and Los,” I imitated.
“Lisa, I love you. We go back too far for us not to be a part of each other’s lives. I need your friendship as much as you need mine, so let’s just start over and be there for each other.” Marisol reached over and hugged me.
To get her to shut the fuck up and leave, I agreed to reconcile with her. After Marisol shed a few teard I rolled my eyes in my head, she initiated another conversation that irritated my nerves even more than the first one.
“Lisa, I miss my husband so much. To go through my daughter fighting Leukemia without him was traumatic. My father-in-law i
s doing all he can to get to the bottom of Carlos’ disappearance. I swear to you Lisa, when I find out who did this to me and my family I’m gonna make sure they die of a slow, miserable death. I’ll make sure that their family suffers, too. They will feel the wrath of a fucking wife scorned.”
The more Marisol talked, I felt like I wanted to throw up. It was only a matter of time before Uncle Renzo found out that Rich killed Carlos because of our affair. It played in my head over and over that Renzo was doing all he could to get to the bottom of this ordeal. The Columbians just weren’t to be fucked with. I’d heard several stories from Rich about things that Uncle Renzo had done to people who crossed him. The one that stuck out in my mind the most was when Renzo abducted this guy who stole from him and mailed his fingers back to his wife before they killed him. As Marisol went on and on about how Renzo would kill whoever fucked with his family, I knew she meant it and I was scared shitless because I knew she meant every word. The last thing I needed right now was to be on his bad side.
As Marisol spoke, I envied her as I looked at her long blonde streaked hair. What made Carlos love her so much, I thought to myself? Grabbing my own chin length locks that had grown since the rape incident, I began to think. Was it that she was Puerto Rican? I mean she lived in his home, drove his cars, and here I was depending on my son to take care of me since my ex-husband wasn’t giving me shit. Suddenly, when Marisol started giving Rich praise, that shit snapped me out of my deep thought.
“Girl, I don’t know what I would’ve done without Rich’s support throughout these months since Carlos has been gone.”
“What?” I asked, annoyed as ever.
“Rich has been amazing. I mean…he hasn’t had that much money, but he’s given me whatever he could. More importantly, his gave me his shoulder to cry on. He’s definitely been there for me. I mean the girls just love him.”
“So, you mean to tell me, I’ve been depending on my son to help me make ends meet and this bastard has been playing house with you making sure y’all good. Are you serious?”
“Lisa, calm down. He hasn’t given that much. Besides, my daughter is sick. She’s on borrowed time,” Marisol replied.
“So is my daughter! You know what, I need you to leave. Get out now!”
As much as I tried to hold back the tears, they still managed to make a grand appearance. My tears were mainly about missing Carlos though…not about Rich’s no-good ass. Marisol tried to reach out and hold me, but I pushed her away. After telling her to get out several more times, she finally left. There was no way I could take being in her presence another moment. As she walked out, Nurse Brooks walked in.
“Are you okay, Mrs. Sanchez?” she asked.
“Please call me Lisa.”
“We heard you yelling.”
“I’m sorry about that. I’m just stressed right now,” I said, holding Carlie’s hand.
“Well, Lisa, do you mind if I pray with you.”
“No, not at all. I could use a good prayer.”
Nurse Brooks was like a God sent angel. She must’ve known I was going through something. As she laid her hands on me, she gave me an instant reminder of my father. I missed him and really needed his presence right now, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to call.
“Father in the name of Jesus, we ask you to watch over this mother and her new bundle of joy. You know her trials and tribulations and I just come to You with this family and ask You to lay Your hands on them, Father. Give this mother the strength to overcome any harm that comes her way. We pray that this baby will get the energy to gain the weight that she needs and grow to be a healthy girl. We come to you Father because we know You heal and that’s what we’re asking you, God to heal us and to help us live in your light. We thank you God for your blessings, and Jesus name we pray, Amen.”
I cried as Nurse Brooks held me as if I were her own child. It felt like I was at home with my dad. It was obvious that he’d never stop praying for me because it felt as if she’d been sent to watch over us.
“Do you feel better now?”
“Actually I do. Nurse Brooks, I just want you to know that I’m not an addict. I just made some bad choices from going through so much in my life. I vowed not to ever use again and I’m living for me and my daughter. She means the world to me.”
“Ms. Lisa, I believe you. I’ll talk to your social worker and let her know that you’re capable of handling your baby.”
“Really? Thank you so much.” I stared at my beautiful baby girl. “When do you think she’ll be able to go home?”
“Well, you know it’s all about weight gain now since she can finally breathe on her own. Did she nurse well?”
“Yes, she did pretty good for her first time.”
“See, Carlie is a fighter. At the rate she’s going, I’m sure it’ll only be a couple of weeks before she’s able to go home. Now, it’s time for me to take her back. I hope you had a good visit.”
“You made it that way. Thanks again.”
Before Nurse Brooks took Carlie back, I gave her a kiss on her forehead and told her I loved her. All of a sudden, I felt a little better. As I walked down the hallway, I peered into the window of the NICU and watched as Nurse Brooks played with Carlie. She was my guardian angel that I needed in the storm I was going through. However, I knew it was only a matter of time before the light at the end of the tunnel would soon come. I would get my time to shine with Carlos looking down on me.
Chapter Six
RICH
This fuckin’ day couldn’t come fast enough. Today, I would finally be free of Lisa Renee Sanchez’s deranged-ass. I knew I’d put her through years of hurt, but nothin’ compared to her makin’ me lose my daughter’s trust and killin’ my brother. Her ass was lucky to still be alive. There were many days I’d planned out her death in my head, but just couldn’t make myself do it for some reason. As long as she stayed the fuck away from me…I guess I could deal wit’ the fact that she was still breathin’. However, I still told myself the next time that bitch got out of pocket, her fuckin’ luck was gonna run out.
It was hard gettin’ out of bed, but there was no way I was gonna miss this important day. It’s crazy how once upon a time I would’ve moved the earth for her ass. She was the center of my universe, but now I felt like she was just weight on my back. My hate had overpowered any love I ever had for her. She was tryin’ to destroy my life and I was fed up wit’ her bullshit.
Finally hittin’ my alarm for the third time, I got out of bed, and headed to the bathroom for a hot shower. When times got tough I could always count on Denie or my mother to help pull me through. Now, I didn’t have either of them. I’d contemplated sellin’ my mother’s house for quite some time and gettin’ a condo downtown since it was just me. I didn’t need all of the space and the memories of my mom made it even harder to live here. I began to think about what a strong woman my mother was and how she stayed with my father even after findin’ out he’d cheated wit’ my Aunt Celeste. I missed her desperately and still blamed myself for not bein’ here when she died.
After gettin’ in the shower, my mind drifted once again to my time wit’ Marisol the night before. Wit’ all that she’d gone through between her daughter Mia and Carlos’ disappearance, my guilt slipped in and I decided to treat her to a nice, intimate dinner at Timothy Dean’s restaurant in Baltimore. I thought back to when she first walked in. I could tell that she was definitely inchin’ her way back to her old self. Her confidence screamed I’m that bitch when she arrived and I knew it was wrong, but that shit turned me on.
Lookin’ sexy as hell wit’ skin tight jeans, a cropped leather jacket and an embellished tank top, her appearance demanded attention. To top it off, she was blinged out in the wrist, hand and neck areas. Her diamonds would easily blind you, especially the canary diamond cross that dangled between her cleavage. However, the more I stared at the necklace, I quickly snapped back to reality when thoughts of Los entered my mind. I was wit’ him when he bought it fo
r her and could remember the proud look he had on his face like it was yesterday. Knowin’ the dinner had a hidden agenda, I quickly got my mind right and told myself to stay on sk. Little did Marisol know, she was going to be my shield from Uncle Renzo. He loved Marisol like a daughter and because of this, I needed her on my side…I needed her to trust me.
She always loved me from when we were young, and understood how we all had made mistakes. We understood each other, and accepted one another for who we were. Not to mention, we shared the common goal of bein’ ruthless and from the streets. She had dudes afraid of her on both coasts, east and west, and her ride or die mentality was kind of sexy. She demanded respect and definitely got it. She wasn’t weak like that bitch Lisa. She was a thoroughbred, and I liked that shit.
When Marisol eventually brought up Lisa’s name durin’ dinner and told me about her concern, I wasn’t the least bit interested. But I tried to play the part. I remember laughing when she said that Carlie looked exactly like me. She tried to lecture me on how I needed to be there for my daughter while she fought for her life. Marisol of course wasn’t aware of all of the betrayal I’d experienced wit’ Lisa, and how she was responsible for Carlos’ death. I planned to keep it that way for a while. She didn’t need to know the truth ‘til the time was right.
After I dodged the Carlos and Lisa questions, she then began to ask about Denie. Wit’ that bein’ a sore subject for me, I instantly became distant. The more she pried, the more I blamed Denie leavin’ on her teen rebellion and bein’ mad at me about Nelson. Marisol’s concern for Denie made me uncomfortable knowin’ that I couldn’t tell her what was goin’ on. Denie and Marisol had always been close, so it was normal for her to show such deep concern. The more she got agitated about me bein’ indirect and uncomfortable wit’ her questions, I knew it was time to go. That was my clue to wrap dinner up and get back home.
Ending my trip down memory lane, I finally hopped out of the shower and grabbed my towel. Seconds later, I heard my phone’s text message alert go off. It was Lisa.
I don’t want any excuses today to get our divorce postponed any longer. Dress your best and say a prayer, because you’re gonna need it.
