“I hope you know that you shouldn’t listen to what that asshole says. You’re beautiful. You’re going to find the guy who makes you smile just thinking his name and makes your heart beat so fast when he’s near you that you can’t catch your breath. You deserve it more than anyone I know.”
I hear my name being called and I look up to see Max standing there.
“Hey. I’m making eggs, want some?” I ask, distracted.
“It’s more like burning them than making them. You’re like a million miles away this morning. You okay, Squirt?”
“I have some things on my mind, but I’ll be okay.” I answer, trying to believe it myself.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Max probes, continuing to push for information.
“I’m not sure where to begin or even if you want to hear it. I just feel alone right now.”
“What do you mean that I wouldn’t want to hear it? What is it?”
“I’m just thinking back to when Gregg was here, and you broke his nose. Remembering what he said to me before all hell broke loose.”
“What made you think about that jackass?” he asks as he scrapes my burnt eggs into the trash.
“I like someone and I’m worried that my looks are going to be the reason he won’t like me. I’ve been told that I’m ugly, fat, a pig, and that I’ll never get someone who loves me for me. I will always just be someone’s dirty little secret.”
“First of all, fuck them! Fuck those people who say or even think that of you. You deserve love and so much more but you don’t see it. Who has warped your brain into thinking like that?” He stands over the stove, flipping the new eggs like a professional. I’m glad that Sarah is still sleeping because I can’t deal with both her and Max right now.
“It doesn’t matter who warped my brain, that’s what I’ve believed for a long time.”
“Is this about computer boy? Are you starting to develop feelings for him? Has he seen your picture?”
“Yes, yes and no.”
Max spins around to stare at me. “Okay so this guy that you like, why haven’t you exchanged pictures?”
“I guess we never asked for them because we’ve been too busy getting to know each other and enjoying the time we do spend together.”
“Wow, you’ve been talking to him for a year and a half. You don’t know what he looks like, but yet you like him. How is that possible?” he asks as he places the eggs into a serving dish.
I sigh. It’s frustrating not being able to answer his question. It doesn’t make sense to me, but I know the feelings I have in my heart for Cash are genuine. How can I get someone else to understand that I feel this way even though we’ve never met?
“That smells so good! I’m starving. What are we talking about?” Sarah calls sleepily from the doorway.
“We’re just talking about Thanksgiving. It looks like it’s just Abby and me. Our parents are heading to California for the holiday, so we’re going to have a small dinner just the two of us.” He winks at me as he turns his back to grab the orange juice from the fridge.
“Why don’t you come with me to my grandparents’ house for dinner? I’m sure they would love it.” Sarah suggests as she fills a plate with eggs and carries it to the table.
“Sarah, that’s sweet, but Abby and I want to spend some time together. I want it just to be us since you two are going on vacation; I need some brother/sister time.”
“Speaking of the vacation,” Sarah lets out a sigh and rolls her eyes. “I already paid for Max to come with us. We got adjoining rooms. It didn’t feel right not spending the holiday with him either. I also invited Rob and Aaron to come with us.” Max runs over to Sarah and pulls her into his arms. She laughs.
“I hate to break this up, but I need to get ready for work. Max, tonight after work we’ll go to the store to get the food for our Thanksgiving dinner next week.” Max agrees, and I leave the kitchen.
As I’m getting dressed for work, I try to get my mind off Gregg. I’ve been thinking more and more about my feelings for Cash lately, and I’m happy to know that Max is willing to listen to my rambles. I walk downstairs and find Sarah and Max in deep conversation. Grabbing my keys, I head outside without disturbing them. Looking at the end of the driveway, I sigh.
“Max, I need you to move your SUV so I can get out. I’m going to be late for work.” I call out as I head back to the kitchen to grab another cup of coffee.
I place the carafe back into the coffee maker, and he’s still sitting there, talking to Sarah. I have to be at the school in five minutes.
“Max, I need you to move your truck. I can’t get my car out of the driveway, and I’m going to be late for school.” He ignores me again, so I grab his keys off the end table and leave my keys for him. I know that he’ll be pissed that I’m taking his baby without his permission. Just as I walk into my classroom, my cell phone starts going off.
“Hello?”
“Give me back my truck,” Max demands.
“I asked you to move your truck, but you ignored me. I arrived ten minutes late for work. You can have it at the end of the day.”
“Abigail!”
“Don’t Abigail me. I asked twice and you didn’t even acknowledge me when I stood next to you. So you can just fucking wait until after school.”
“Ugh, you’re so damn frustrating.”
“I learned from my older brother. Now my class is starting to come in; I can’t have them hearing me fight with you.”
Max hangs up. I put my phone on silent, so it doesn’t go off in class. I open my desk drawer and to drop it in because knowing Max, he will annoy me with text messages all day.
CASH
I walk into the hotel and head straight for my office. I need to get my phone on the charger and check my email. I know I have appointments and a to-do list a mile long because Thanksgiving is a week away. Jenny isn’t at her desk when I walk by it. I assume she must be in the kitchen making a coffee. As I click on the email icon on my computer, I hear someone clear their throat. I glance up and see Jenny standing in the doorway with two cups of coffee.
“Thank you, I could use that,” I say as I stand to take the mug from her.
“I thought you could use it. I caught a glimpse of your schedule; it looks like a long and busy one,” Jenny answers as she takes a sip of her coffee.
“I think that I bit off more than I can chew with all these weddings, parties, and dinners. I just hope the staff doesn’t quit on me.”
“I’m pretty sure we can offer them a raise, can’t we?”
“I have to look at the books, but I’m pretty certain that we can do that. I will be raising our prices slightly in the New Year. We are the premier spot for weddings and parties. If people want to have their events here, they’re going to pay for it. It won’t be a significant increase, but enough to help with pay raises and the cost of everything else. I’ll need to sit down with you, Sally, Shawn, our attorney and the accountants to finalize everything. Speaking of which, I need to have a staff meeting on Sunday. I’ll do three, one for each shift. If it’s their day off they can pick which one, they attend. The meeting is mandatory. You don’t show up; you will be fired.”
“This meeting really that important?” Sally asks, appearing in the doorway.
“Hey, sis, and yeah it is. We’re about to get busy. We have six weddings, the Thanksgiving dinner, two Sweet Sixteen parties, the Christmas dinner, and the New Year’s Eve Ball. I need to reassure the staff and encourage them, but I also need them to know what we expect of them.”
“I didn’t realize how busy we are. I need to check in with the weddings and Sweet Sixteen parties.”
“It’s crazy how busy all of us have become in the last couple years. Your parents and grandparents would be so proud of you two and what you have accomplished.” Jenny wipes away a tear, and I turn my head. I hate how sentimental I get when they are mentioned. I wish they were here to celebrate with us.
“We have come a long w
ay haven’t we? I was a stay-at-home mom with no hope of a job. Sally, you were in a job that you hated and a newlywed. Cash was well…Cash.” We all laugh at that comment. “Cash is still trying to find his place in this world.”
“Alright, enough of being sentimental so early in the morning. Jenny, I need you to send an email plus post in the break room about the meeting on Sunday. You can pick the times of the meetings. Please come back when that’s done so we can finalize everything for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sally, I need an update on the brides and the Sweet Sixteen parties,” I order. The two leave to get started on their tasks, and I dig into my emails and messages.
Just as I finish signing a pile of contracts, my cell phone chimes. I smile because it I know it’s Abby.
Abby: My students were mad at me when I told them to tear up their tests but then thought it was awesome when I told them that everyone passed and how proud of them I was.
Me: That’s great. Are you on lunch?
Abby: Just getting ready to leave my classroom to eat.
My phone rings just as the last text comes through. “I’m really over the texting,” Abby says with a laugh as I answer the phone.
“I want to talk to you while I work. I have to respond to emails, make notes and all that boring stuff.” I tell her as I start shuffling papers on my desk.
“Ah, getting ready for the big holiday rush?”
“ I’m trying to do just that, but every time I check something off my to-do list, another four pop right back up.”
“Then stop checking them off and you can be done,” she jokes. I hear her saying hello to some students. She laughs at one of them who is threatening her with detention. “Sorry about that but one of my students was reminding me of the no cell phone policy. I reminded her that I’m a teacher on break and in my handbook it says I can talk on my phone. She then asked to see it. My students crack me up.”
“They are entertainment for me just like my bridezilla stories are for you.”
“Ha, that’s true! So did you buy a new charger?”
“See I just finish something on my list and you remind me of something else that I need to do.” We both laugh. “Abby, can you hold on a minute? Someone is at my door.”
“Sure.”
“Sorry, Cash, I thought you were ready for me since your phone wasn’t lit up,” Jenny says standing in the doorway with a notepad and pen.
“It’s okay, Jenny. We can go to lunch when I get off the phone. Can you see if Sally is going to be ready soon? We have an appointment at two.”
“I can check,” she replies and backs out of my office, closing the door.
“I’m back. My assistant thought I was talking to her, or worse myself. She has to make sure I’m not going crazy.”
“I thought you said you liked your women crazy,” Abby teases.
“I asked if you were crazy but you never answered me.”
“I can be crazy once in a while, but I try not to let it show too much.”
“Well, then I guess I like my women who can be crazy but try not to let it show,” I say, my voice dropping low. My subtle attempt at flirting is met with silence from her end, filling me with worry. My door opens again, and Sally and Jenny are both lingering in the hall, clearly eavesdropping. Jenny has a smile on her face and Sally makes a gesture that indicates that she’s going to grill me later. I stand up and shut the door, glaring at the two of them.
“Abby?” I ask hesitantly.
“I’m here. Sorry, I had a student come by and I didn’t want them to hear my conversation. I like to keep my private life just that, private.”
“Oh okay. I didn’t know if we got disconnected or something.” I know that I sound like a girl, but I need to know where her head is with us.
“So you like me?” Abby’s voice is very shy and quiet.
“Yes, I do.”
“But you don’t know me, how can you like me?”
“Abby, I know you. I know what makes you sad, and happy. You’ve told me about your dreams. We talk a lot.”
“I like you too, but it scares me, Cash. We live in separate states. What if you don’t like what you see?”
“Do looks matter to you?”
“No. I don’t believe that looks are the main reason for a relationship. If you’re attracted to someone, appearances shouldn’t matter. Looks will fade, if you can’t carry on a conversation with that person, then what do you have?”
“I agree with you one hundred percent.”
“Shit. My lunch break is over. Can we talk later?”
“Yes, that would be great. Have a good rest of the day, okay?”
“You too and don’t work too hard. We do have to finish up that raid tonight or try to.” I can hear the eye roll in her voice.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Hey, quick question, we don’t have anything scheduled for Sunday do we?”
“Umm no, not that I know of.”
“Okay, I have meetings off on and all day that I need to be at so, I wanted to make sure. I don’t want to piss off someone.”
“You’re good to take Sunday off,” she reassures me. “Bye, Cash.”
“Bye, Abby.” We disconnect, and I needed a few minutes to myself before walking out into the lioness den. I can’t wrap my head around Abby who means more to me than anyone I’ve met. I don’t know if I’m ready to share my feelings about Abby with Sally and Jenny. “God, give me the strength to deal with those two women outside that door.” I chuckle as I open the door to face the music.
ABBY
I can’t get rid of the smile on my face. He likes me, and I admitted that I like him too. But what can we do about it? Am I going to travel to Florida and is he going to travel here? Did we just ruin our friendship with this admission? I feel like I’m one of my students with my insecurities that happen when I think about a relationship with anyone and Cash isn’t just anyone. I groan once I get into my classroom.
“Are you okay, Abby?” I twist to see one of my closest friends Rob standing in my doorway. Egghead Rob was his nickname all through high school. He’s one of the two best friends that I have in my life. Sarah, Rob and I also went to the same college together. When we were in high school, he was scrawny and an easy target for jocks. HeRob spent a lot of time inside lockers. I look at him now, and I can’t wait to see the jocks at the reunion as he towers over all of them. “I’m great now that you’re here. Come on in.” We hug each other and sit at a table in the back of the room. “What brings you to my neck of the woods?”
“I had a meeting at the architectural firm that Max is working at. They needed some PR done, so he recommended me. I think that they’re going to use me. I’m a nervous wreck; my hands are sweaty. I stopped by to see if you wanted to celebrate tonight,” he explains.
Rob is the owner of a successful PR firm. I’m also a silent partner in the firm. He came to me one night so depressed because he didn’t have the capital to start his company, I couldn’t help but jump at the chance to support him. He’s now doing great; he repaid the loan but insisted that I stay on as a partner.
“I can’t tonight. Max and I are going shopping for Thanksgiving dinner, and I have a game thing tonight.”
“Are you still playing? I want to get back into the game, but my boyfriend demands my time when he comes home from the hospital.”
“Why don’t we do something tomorrow night? Saturday night is a good night to party, and since we’re in our thirties, we will all be home by eleven.” I say that last part chuckling and Rob joins in with me.
“So true, so true, baby girl. You had a smile on your face when you walked in here, but now the smile has faded, and panic replaces it. Why is that?”
“You saw that did you?” He nods and waits for me to continue. “I met this guy online in the gaming community. We’ve known each other for a year; but more on a personal level the last few months. We’ve been on Ventrilo, and text messaging each other a lot.”
“I feel a ‘but’ coming
on, or is there more to the story?” Rod asks, listening intently.
“There is a ‘but’ and a huge one at that! We’ve been talking on the phone when we’re on breaks from work and at night. We each just admitted that we like each other.”
“Has Abby decided to start dating? Oh, this is cause for celebration.” Rob claps his hands in excitement. He knows the hell I went through with all of the men that I’ve been with and the toll it took on me.
“Cash lives in Florida and doesn’t know what I look like. What if he doesn’t like what he sees? What if he wants to make me his dirty little secret? What if I like him a lot, and he breaks my heart?” Tears stream down my face as I voice my insecurities.
“I felt that same way when I met Aaron. We met online in the same gaming community where you met Cash. I was terrified that he wouldn’t love me or would break my heart. I got over that in a hurry because we all need to take a leap of faith in the love department.” Aaron stands about five foot eleven and although he wasn’t as muscular as Rob; he was well built. He has brown hair, hazel eyes, and a beard. I wasn’t a fan of beards, but my God Aaron made it look sexy. He’s a doctor, an OBGYN. Aaron has stories about how his female patients would flirt with and ask him out on dates. When Rob and Aaron would be out in the town, He often ran into his patients and would always introduce his boyfriend, Rob to them. They weren’t upset about his lifestyle, but with the fact that he wouldn’t date them.
“I’m just an overweight girl who doesn’t deserve love and is always going to be someone’s dirty little secret.”
Rob slams his hand onto the table making me jump. “Why is it that you listen to all the people who are not worthy of you and ignore those who love you the most?”
“It’s easier to listen to the negative than the positive. The people who love me most will always say what I want to hear not what’s true. Do you think I like being this way? Do you think I like doubting every man who comes into my life? Do you think I don’t want the husband, children, to know the feeling of what true love is? Until you’ve been subjected to this way of thinking all your life, don’t get mad at me for feeling like this, Rob.”
Love Me Like You Do (Love Me Book 1) Page 4
