by Joan Jonker
‘Yes, it was after midnight.’ Victoria felt absolutely drained. She was sore all over, even had bruises on the inside of her legs. It was fortunate that no one could see them. Last night in the Adelphi had been a nightmare which she’d relived a hundred times as she’d tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep. Charles had behaved like an animal and she didn’t know how she was going to look him in the face again. She could quite understand why her mother refused to go through such degradation with her father. The law might demand that the wife perform her wifely duties, but no decent woman would allow herself to be used as she was last night. No wonder there were so many prostitutes on the streets, and so many houses of ill-repute. And she had suffered further humiliation as they were leaving the hotel just after half eleven. There was the indignity of passing the liveried porter who hastened to escort her to the revolving door. His face had been impassive when Charles slipped a silver coin into his hand, saying, ‘We have decided not to stay the night, my good man.’ You could tell by the porter’s face he knew they had no intention of staying the night, that the room was only booked with one purpose in mind. The absence of a portmanteau was enough to tell him that. And when he said, ‘I understand, sir,’ he said it in such a way as to suggest he really did understand. Oh, how humiliating that had been. But what had happened hadn’t altered her resolve to marry Charles. In fact, it had made her more determined. He may have acted like an animal, but he was an animal with the riches she craved.
‘I do have a headache, Mother, and think I should lie down for an hour with a shade over my eyes. Once I’ve made sure Agnes has everything under control for the dinner party, I shall retire to my room and rest.’
‘Did you have an enjoyable evening?’ Edwina was eager for news. She had her own plan for the future, but that rested on her daughter’s marriage into the Chisholm family. ‘Any progress with Charles, d’you think?’
‘So many questions, Mother! Yes, the evening was pleasant enough, but with having guests tonight I would have preferred to decline the invitation. However, Charles wouldn’t hear of it.’ There was defiance in the set of Victoria’s jaw. Nothing would put her off the path she had chosen to take. So lies took over from the truth. In fact, lies and the truth were all one to her. What she said was what she wanted to hear. ‘It was neither the time nor the place for serious conversation as Charles is a very popular man, and we had little time on our own. But yes, I think we progress a little further with each meeting.’
‘Have you not thought to ask him directly what his intentions are?’ Edwina asked, her interest being purely selfish. Why was her daughter allowing things to move so slowly? ‘I would have thought that after your father’s ultimatum you would have been keen to jog him along. If he were to propose, then I’m sure Robert would allow us to stay in this house until after the wedding. Indeed, as father of the bride it would be his duty to lead you down the aisle, and be responsible for all the expenses.’
Victoria ground her teeth together. She couldn’t afford to upset her mother because she was her only source of cash when her monthly allowance ran out. But why was she being so tiresome, on this of all days? ‘No, Mother, I have not asked him outright, that would be most unladylike. And it would not have the desired effect, as Charles is a law unto himself. He will do as he wishes, and in his own time.’ She folded the heavy linen napkin and placed it on her plate. ‘I really couldn’t eat any more, I have no appetite. So if you will excuse me, Mother, I will go along to the kitchen and spend some time with Agnes. I want to go over the menu with her to make sure she is preparing every course as I requested. This is one time I can’t have her replacing something I’ve asked for, with something she finds easier to make. Everything has to be perfect tonight, for a lot hinges on the Chisholms having an enjoyable evening, with the best food eaten in good company.’
‘I’m sure Agnes won’t let you down, dear. Her food will be compared favourably with anything the Chisholms’ or the Thompson-Brownes’ cooks could offer.’
‘I intend to make sure that is so, Mother. I shall be checking on her at intervals all afternoon. I am leaving nothing to chance.’
‘Miss Victoria, everything is in hand.’ Agnes was thinking how ridiculous it was to worry so much about a ruddy dinner party. Particularly when it kept you awake all night as it must have done to the young woman facing her who looked dead beat. ‘I started at six o’clock this morning and made the desserts. There will be a choice of two which I think will go down very well. If yer look in the larder yer’ll see I have made pastry cups, which I will later fill with strawberries and cream. I’ve also made trifles because I know Mr Charles is very partial to them. Then there are two dozen fancy cakes which I will decorate this afternoon, plus twelve of the chocolate boxes you asked for. So all the little fiddling things are done and I’ll start on the potatoes and vegetables when the staff have had their morning break. Oh, and Pete is attending to the flowers.’
‘Can we go through the menu again, Agnes, to set my mind at rest. Everything must go smoothly, it is very important.’
Agnes told herself to leave the swearing until later. But Miss Victoria was really getting on her wick. Talk about teaching your grandmother to milk ducks wasn’t in it. There would only be eight at the dinner party, and she’d catered for up to twenty in her time. She could serve eight standing on her ruddy head. ‘Oxtail soup to start, and surely you can smell that simmering away on the stove now. Then poached salmon steaks in my own special sauce. And I promise they will be a delight to the tongue. The main meal is pheasant for them what like it, and prime leg of pork for them what don’t. So, as yer can see, Miss Victoria, I’m doing everything yer asked me to.’
‘Except for the truffles, Agnes. You know, the chocolate shapes you make filled with Turkish Delight and ginger.’ Victoria could see this didn’t please the housekeeper, so she resorted to flattery. ‘You do them so beautifully, Agnes, and the last time you made them they were a huge success with the guests.’
‘That’s as maybe, but they take ages to make and yer need plenty of time on yer hands. They’re not something yer can rush ’cos they’re so fiddly.’ Agnes was telling herself to keep calm, but it was very difficult. Especially when the person asking for all this couldn’t even boil a flaming egg! ‘I’ll see how I’m off for time, Miss Victoria, but I can’t promise.’
‘Oh, please, Agnes, I’ll be eternally grateful to you.’
‘It’s the time, Miss Victoria. I haven’t any Turkish Delight in, or ginger. That would mean sending Jessie out for it, and she really can’t be spared.’
That was only a minor problem for someone who spent their life giving orders. ‘Ring Coopers and ask them to deliver what you need.’
‘I wouldn’t have the nerve to ask them to come this distance for such a small order. They’d think I had a ruddy cheek.’
‘Nonsense! I’ll ring them myself.’ With that, Victoria flounced out of the room leaving the housekeeper so mad she was practically breathing fire.
Agnes was still sitting at the kitchen table when the cleaners came through a few minutes later. Kitty was carrying a huge bucket with a mop standing up in it, and each time it banged against her leg she groaned. ‘This bloody thing weighs heavier than me! I don’t know why the hell Miss Edwina won’t allow us to empty the ruddy water down the lavvy upstairs, save carting it all the way down here to the outside grid. She’d soon change her tune if she was the one carrying the bleedin’ thing.’
Jessie, her arms full of the bedding she’d stripped off Abbie’s bed, told her, ‘I said I’d carry the bucket, Kitty, but yer wouldn’t have it.’
The little woman gave her a cheeky grin. ‘If I’d let you carry it, queen, I’d have had nothing to moan about, would I? And yer can’t beat a good moan in the mornings, it sets me up for the day. Even though me bleedin’ legs will be black and blue.’ Kitty noticed the housekeeper sitting with her chin resting in her hands and a none-too-happy expression on her face. ‘What’s the m
atter with you, queen, have yer looked in the mirror and didn’t like what yer saw?’
‘I’m not in the mood for jokes, sunshine, so don’t expect me to burst me sides laughing.’
‘Ah, what’s wrong, Aggie?’ The bucket was immediately lowered to the floor and Kitty was about to make her way over to her friend when the door was flung open and Victoria marched in.
‘You will have the ginger and Turkish Delight before lunch-time, Agnes, so you have no excuse for not making the truffles.’ Victoria had turned to leave the kitchen when she spun around again. ‘Oh, as you said, they wouldn’t deliver a small order at such short notice, so I suggested they could bring the weekly order. They soon changed their tune then.’
The housekeeper gaped. ‘How can they bring an order when I haven’t even made it out yet? I give them the order over the telephone on Friday morning and they deliver the same day. So if they don’t know what I want, they can hardly deliver it.’
‘Oh, that’s all right.’ Victoria waved a hand in the air as if to say there were ways of getting what you want, and she had proved it. ‘I merely told them to repeat last week’s order.’
Kitty and Jessie were wide-eyed as Agnes jumped to her feet and sent her chair toppling over backwards. ‘Yer had no right to do that, Miss Victoria. I’m the one who knows what is needed in this kitchen.’ Resting her clenched fists on the table, the housekeeper looked as angry as she felt. ‘One week in every month I order enough tea, sugar and other dried goods, to last a month. They were all on last week’s order, which means we’ll get the same this week. I’m going to have enough dried goods to last nearly two months.’
‘So what? It’s food that will keep, isn’t it?’
‘What do I tell Mr Robert when he’s handed another big bill? I’m not taking the blame for it, so you can tell him.’
Victoria could see the cleaners listening to every word, and she didn’t intend the housekeeper to get the better of her. ‘Father will pay the bill without even noticing. After all, he has no reason not to trust you, or has he?’
‘Ye’re going too far, Miss Victoria, so I suggest yer leave the kitchen before I say or do something we’ll both regret. I’m responsible for the buying of food and all cleaning utensils, and I make sure that everything is accounted for. And when the bill comes with the order today, I’ll make sure Mr Robert knows how it came about. All because yer wanted fancy chocolates for yer fine friends. And ye’re always the same, selfish to the core. Yer think yer can have everything yer want, and it’s to hell with everybody else. Well, yer friends haven’t got the chocolates yet, and who’s to say if they ever will?’ Agnes bent to stand the chair upright. ‘Now leave the kitchen, please, Miss Victoria, because we’ve got work to do.’
The change in Victoria’s attitude was nothing short of miraculous. ‘I’ll tell Father about the delivery, Agnes, I’ll take full responsibility. So please say you’ll make the truffles? Please?’
‘I’ll see how my day goes, Miss Victoria, and that’s all I’m prepared to say. It’s not often that people question my honesty, and I’ll not forget that.’
‘I didn’t mean it, Agnes, really I didn’t. It was said in the heat of the moment, and I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth.’
‘Yer should think before yer speak, because yer tongue spits out venom. And yer should think before yer take it upon yerself to do a job that is rightly mine.’ The housekeeper turned her head to where the cleaners were standing like statues. ‘Empty the bucket, Kitty, while I make the tea for our break. Jessie, you throw that bedding in the laundry room and then go down the garden and give Pete a shout.’
They went about their business as though she wasn’t there, so Victoria had no option but to leave the kitchen. She stood outside for a few seconds, wondering whether to ask her mother to have words with Agnes, but decided against it. It wouldn’t help, not with the mood the housekeeper was in. In fact, if she was pushed too far, she might even refuse to have anything to do with the dinner party. And what would they do then? So, with her head pounding and her body sore and weary, she climbed the stairs to her room. There, she drew the curtains before throwing herself on the bed, where she cried with frustration at not getting her own way and being misunderstood by everyone.
‘Ye’re not going to make those truffle things for her, are yer?’ Kitty asked, her face contorted in disgust. ‘I’m buggered if I would, the cheeky sod.’
‘If I do them, sunshine, it won’t be for her, it’ll be for my reputation. I don’t want her blackening my name with the guests, because talk travels. I’m not blowing me own trumpet, but I am noted as being one of the best housekeepers and cooks in the city and I don’t want me name tarnished. Miss Victoria will get her dinner party and it will be a fine affair. Everything will be perfect, I’ll make sure of that. But I won’t be doing it for her, it’ll be for meself. And for Mr Robert. I wouldn’t let him down.’
‘She’s just like her mother, yer know,’ Pete said. ‘She gets something in her head and thinks yer can just pluck it out of thin air. In the middle of winter, the Missus will ask me to pick some roses for the table. And when I explain it isn’t the time of year for roses, she tuts and gives me a look that says it’s my fault, then asks for carnations! And this is after she’s walked the full length of the garden, where anyone with half an eye could see there weren’t any flowers in bloom. And never so much as a please, thank you, or kiss my backside! As for a smile, well, that’s out of the question and I’ve stopped expecting one. But for someone who makes out she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, it’s downright ignorant.’
‘The house never seems to be short of flowers, so where d’yer get them from?’ Kitty asked, taking advantage of the fact Pete was being talkative. Sometimes he’d sit at the table and not open his mouth. Mind you, you could understand that, he was the only man with three chattering females.
‘The Missus orders them from a nursery where they have flowers all the year round grown in hot-houses. They don’t come cheap, I can tell yer. But it’s only what yer can expect because the bloke has to keep the hot-houses warm twenty-four hours a day. That’s where the flowers for tonight are coming from, and they’ll be costing Mr Robert a pretty penny ’cos she’s ordered three dozen red roses, three dozen pink carnations and two dozen of those huge blooms what have a bigger head than I’ve got.’
‘Bloody hell! All this for eight people.’ Agnes shook her head in disgust. ‘She throws money around as though it’s going out of fashion.’
‘It’s a sin when there’s people starving,’ Kitty said. ‘What they’re paying for flowers just for a bleedin’ dinner party, would keep a family for a whole week.’
‘What gets me, is that it’s all done to impress their toffee-nosed friends,’ Agnes said. ‘They’re always trying to impress, but tonight seems to be extra special. I think they’re going all out to charm Mr Charles into proposing.’
Jessie, who had taken a great dislike to Charles Chisholm, pulled a face. ‘Ugh, he’s horrible, he is. Is Miss Victoria really going to marry him?’
‘She’s hoping so, sunshine. And I say a prayer every night that he’ll pop the question and we can all celebrate. The day that young lady walks out of this house for good, I’ll put the bleedin’ flags out.’
‘Ay, Aggie, don’t the Red Indians make some sort of love potion?’ Kitty was back to swinging her legs. ‘I’ve seen them on the pictures, and they give this drink to the girl they fancy and when she’s drunk it, she falls head over heels in love with him. She can’t stand the sight of him before, but she’s all over him after she’s drunk this stuff. So it must be good. Wouldn’t it be great if yer knew what they put in it and yer could stick some in those truffle things.’
The housekeeper saw the funny side and rocked with laughter. ‘Ooh, I can just see it in me head. Everyone eats the truffles, so I could be going into the dining room to collect the dirty dishes, all innocent, like, ’cos me mind is innocent, and I’d scream me he
ad off when I saw four couples all over each other on the floor.’ The table was pushed back an inch as her tummy shook and everyone reached out quickly to save their tea from spilling over. ‘Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! That really has tickled me fancy. Have any of yer ever met Mrs Thompson-Browne?’
‘No, queen, I haven’t,’ Kitty said. ‘There’s not much chance of them allowing me out there if they have visitors. I might lower the tone of the place, yer see.’
‘Well, I know Pete and Jessie have never met her, so I’ll tell yer what amused me about the love potion. We think Miss Victoria is a snob, but she can’t hold a candle to either of the Thompson-Brownes. She – her name’s Bernice – has got huge buck teeth which are always on show ’cos she can’t close her mouth over them. She’s the type what can’t speak without waving their hands about, and she talks so far back yer have to go in the next room to hear her. And her husband – David Thompson-Browne – he has one of those haw-haw laughs that sound like a donkey, and he wears a monocle in his right eye which falls out every time he straightens his face. What effect a love potion would have on those two, I dread to think.’
Agnes’s imagination was running riot and she lay her head, face down, on to her folded hands. ‘I’ll be all right in a minute,’ she spluttered, ‘when I get me breath back.’
‘Take yer time, queen, we’re just glad to see yer happy again. Yer’ll have to forgive us if we don’t seem to appreciate how funny it is, but yer have the advantage of knowing the people ye’re talking about, and we don’t.’
The housekeeper lifted her face to show the tears of laughter were still running. ‘Well, yer all know Miss Edwina, so use yer imagination and picture her throwing herself at Mr Robert in a frenzy of passion.’
Kitty chuckled. ‘Me imagination is not that good, queen.’
‘Nor mine,’ Pete said.
Jessie meanwhile sat quietly saying nothing, thinking this wasn’t a conversation for fourteen-year-old girls, even though she couldn’t quite understand what they found so funny anyway.
